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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  November 20, 2014 6:27pm-6:59pm PST

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>> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. we've got a very nice program tonight. my guest she's got an interstellar, the always excellent jessica chastain will be here. never a bad move for that lady and never a bad performance. but we're going to start tonight on the local side. across the river, jersey. governor cristopher christy. >> governor christie has a pig problem. >> jon: now wait. i don't think that's appropriate. i don't think that's a productive day unless i'm obviously jumping to conclusion and by some add serted political source the governor of new jersey literally has a pig problem. >> he has to decide by december if new jersey pig farmers can use gestation crates. >> jon: he has a pig problem. [laughter] why shouldn't he be able to use
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gestation crates. it's a free country. i mean how much does the government going to clamp down. they farmers have, need to store their, what is a gestation crate. [laughter] >> exactly. >> the crates are used for pregnant pigs to prevent them from fighting. farmers also say the pigs are much easier to house this way. >> jon: that makes sense. it's easier to keep them in ease tiny confined boxes like shoes. [laughter] that are alive and can feel pain. shoes that can feel pain. [laughter] clearly an improvement over most previous forms of pig housing. your straw. [laughter] your brick even with those specialized -- your pigs are still vulnerable in that situation. [laughter] wow, it's really. [laughter] i believe that might actually be
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pig blood. [laughter] okay. do you know what, governor christie has to weigh the benefits against the costs. i mean these crates might help pig farmers, and what is the down side to the crates. >> the humane society says that the extreme confinement of the pigs literally make them go insane. the crates prevent the pigs from turning around, lying down and fully extended their limbs. >> jon: so? what's so great about extending your limbs? anyway, look, i'm doing it right ... oh. oh my, yeah, all right. oh. [bleep] i feel alive. yeah. oh my god. i just ... the hills are alive ♪ with the sound of ♪ i'm sorry, i don't want to rub it in but next tending your limbs thing is pretty sweet.
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[laughter] anyway, these are just gestational crates. when you're pregnant i'm sure once they give birth they get maternity leave. and you know probably back to normal with lots of moving around. >> breeding pigs spend 80% of their lives pregnant so they spend the bulk of their lives in these crates. >> jon: jeeps [bleep] that is horrible. these poor pigs tortured for life. and for what? oh. [laughter] all right. it's a compelling argument. but all right. christie's got to decide because recently the new jersey state legislature overwhelmingly passed a bill banning the use of these gestation crates and it's a ban that's supported by 93% of new jersey voters. i mean, the only thing. [cheers and applause] the only thing that would make approving this bill more of a no brainer for christy is in he got a message from a magically
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literal spider. about reportedly told a group of iowa producers he will veto the new jersey bill. what? i guess you can't ignore the citizen of iowa who elected you governor of new jersey. [laughter] wait a minute. what's going on here. >> pig farming isn't big in new jersey but it is huge in iowa which is home for the first election caucus. >> iowa is the first pork producing. iowa is 20 million. >> jon: next movie idea. [laughter] >> jon: iowa based sci-fi thriller live of the planet of the pigs. [laughter] this summer. go hog wild and save your pigs. [applause] it looks like an angry [bleep] pig right there. let me get this straight. purely to advance his personal
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political goals, chris christie's going to veto a bill almost unanimously supported by the people of new jersey. which is weird considering the kind of guy chris christie always says he is. >> my job is to stand up for the people of new jersey to stand p and fight for them and that's what i'm going to do regardless of politics. you do your jobs and if you try to calculate these movies you're not doing your jobs. i always put the people of new jersey ahead of petty personal politics. >> jon: of course the obvious exceptions are bridges and pigs. now we know governor christie's presidential ambition is the one thing he won't put in a tiny crate. but do you know what, maybe there's a deeper issue who are. we're going to explore the pros and cons of gestation creates
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with hasan minhaj and jordan klepper from -- >> team one direction. >> jon: one direction. are you sure that's the name. >> jon i'm on the right side of this pig thing. >> jon: we'll start with hasan. hasan, we're awfully eager to show -- let me ask you first. why are you against the use of gestation crates. >> thank you, jon. you know, jon, farm animals give their lives to give us sustenance. in return do we not owe it to them to make their time on thurt however brief it is as dignifid as possible. the creatures who depend on us aren't we brutalizing our own
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soul. >> jon: oh, thank you so much. >> i don't think pigs should turn around. [laughter] i don't like it. >> jon: do you want to elaborate on that? >> sure, jon. they should be facing forward. make sure they can't move. pigs are fine clamped right in there. >> jon: hasan. >> is the this the -- this is my first day, okay. i have, i got bible verse here. i've got poetry from college. okay. okay, here we go. no, no. the got philosopher immanuel kant. here's what i got. when i eat bacon i want to make sure it's facing forward. that's where the flavor comes
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from. >> jon: you can tell the difference of pork raised in crates where they can't move and pigs raised more humanity. >> probably not. i just don't like pigs facing different directions. they should move. it's a gut thing. [laughter] >> jon: final thoughts hasan. >> i don't even, okay. i just want everybody to know that history will judge us by how we treat the creatures who serve us. >> jon: that's beautiful. jordan, do you have something you want to close with. [applause] >> that's nice, nice. why don't you try one. >> pigs shouldn't turn around. it's like friday night lights. clogged hearts can't move. >> vo: no one ever claims to be ordinary.
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. >> jon: we're back. a new story falls through the crack. ♪ next week is my favorite day of the year. black friday. trample a tie on a tuesday afternoon you get charged with
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assault but do it at wal-mart on a black friday you get a ps4. something about black friday is twisting everyone's panties. >> black friday is turning into an entire season. >> do i hope black friday ends. absolutely. i can't stand that day. >> starting black friday on thanksgiving should be illegal. >> black wednesday. >> gray thursday. >> small business saturday. >> that's the worst thing i ever heard. >> we might as well call it black november. >> what the hell are you complaining about. now blenders on sale for a whole blunt. god, why have you foretaken us. nobody's forcing you to buy anything. you can shop, you cannot shop. you can do what we jews do and wait until the day after christmas when they're practically giving [bleep] away. but there is one group of people who should be complaining. >> what about the workers of
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these stores. >> yes, when exactly do they get to celebrate thanksgiving with their families. >> workers are upset. >> forced to work. >> they keep saying they care about their associates. that's not the case. >> the daughter of a k mart employee asked k mart to change the thanksgiving hours so her mom can spend the day at home with her family. >> i think we should all have the ability to say i don't want to work thanksgiving. >> well personally, i'd much rather spend thanksgiving at k mart helping the fat guy shof his way into a pair of crosswalks beats listening to my nephew he is plain again how he's allergic to beets. you nobody likes them. you don't have to eat them. turns out everybody. >> they should be happy to have a job. >> what's wrong with a little capitalism.
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>> open up on thanksgiving. >> richard writes to us, he says you got to be kidding me lady. just go to work. you can celebrate by eating a turkey sandwich while on break. sure. thanksgiving is just as good eating a cold sandwich alone in the back of a k mart. you don't even need cranberry sauce, you can season it with your tears. but this year it's not just employees getting screwed into working on thanksgiving, it's the stores too. >> stores at the walden galleria have a tough time open on thanksgiving or possibly pay a lot of money in fines and penalties. >> you're taxing stores for observing thank giving. those the most anti-american thing i ever heard. it's like sharia law for capitalism. why don't you just kick george washington in the nuts. but if no one cares when stores force employees to work on
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thanksgiving, who is going to shed a tear when malls force stores to stay open. >> the mall in upstate new york is strong arming its retailers into opening on thanksgiving. so much for the holiday spirit. >> so, let me get this straight. you can't make a store open on thanksgiving. it's just a poor helpless corporation. but people? punch in and shut the [bleep] up. you can see your family in january. jon. if you have a playstation 4 and an xperia smart phone and a roof. and you want to play playstation 4, on your phone, on your roof. then you can get on your playstation 4, and get on your phone and your roof to play playstation 4, on your phone, on your roof, on your phone. the xperia smart phone with ps4 remote play on your roof.
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do yoh, i love it.en? love it, love it? she does, she does. and did you know that it turns handwriting into text? dad into mustache dad... and it even helps you find costumes for the party. sorry buddy! wait, i'm not doing that! yeah, you are. do you use that thing a lot? oh yeah, all the time. it's like the magic wand. well in that case, abracadabra. do everything faster and easier,
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with the new more powerful s-pen only on the galaxy note 4. the next big thing is here. >> jon: tonight, we have something called interstellar. >> we spent the night. your room is exactly how you left it. it's ready to get back. too many memories. look at islam. >> jon: that's probably a mouth full. talking about the program, jessica chastain. [cheers and applause]
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how are you? >> i'm good. good to see you. >> jon: you're a busy person. >> oh my gosh. >> jon: it's crazy busy. >> yes. i'm really happy. >> jon: it's good, right. the gentleman in the audience asked me. you're doing pretty good for yourself. why do you keep working like this. do you know normally you're just doing a warm up [bleep] and then somebody just cuts you. >> yes. >> to the quick. and you're like i don't know why i asked you that. >> they looked at me recently and said you're working so much. what are you missing in your life. oh my god. >> jon: where is the tenderness in your life. was this a kindly old grandmother who said this. >> it was a kindly frenchman. where is the tenderness in your
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life. >> jon: here's a guy probably doesn't work that much and trying to make it seem what he does is cool and what you do is not cool and he's like why don't you just sit and drink coffee all day. >> right. and watch the sunset. >> jon: you spent a good deal of time in europe. >> i love europe, yes. >> it's pretty -- >> and you just went to italy, and rome. >> jon: last year i went to rome and it was beautiful. i've never been. have you ever been. i traveled a lot in new jersey. >> i'm sorry, after watching that segment, i'm so upset. i'm vegan too. >> jon: are you really vegan? [crowd cheering] now talk to me about that because that's a move i don't know, here's my problem. i know it's bad. i know that the treatment is wrong but my god. >> you love the bacon. >> and cheese burgers. so what do i do. >> i don't necessarily think. i don't think eating meat is wrong. i understand some people eat meat and that's fine for them.
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i think putting animals in cages where they can't turn around. what happens if you have an itch. you can't scratch an itch, you know. that's horrible. >> jon: do you know what i would say to that pig. where is the tenderness. but it's funny, i was talking to a gentleman earlier about this exact issue and he seems to feel like he prefers his pigs to face in one direction. >> i saw that. i think we should put hen awe in one of those. >> jon: do you know what it is. people you're not aware. there must be a way to balance this issue with agriculture, with the way that we eat in a way that's healthier not just for ourselves but the entire evening. there must be. >> there must. we just have to honor, you know. when you're eating food sometimes you don't think what's the history where that food came from. >> jon: right. >> and what were the sacrifices that were made to give you -- >> jon: yes, something. >> and really like you know for an animal toyou can eat it's ond
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it's a beautiful thing but you have to honor that animal's life. >> jon: try as make it -- >> it's like we're going out of our way to torture which i don't believe in. >> jon: it is. you almost feel like they're designing. how do you raise your pigs. we keep, we sit on them. we just sit on them. why, does that help. i just like the way it feels to sit on them, that's all. pigs are smart too and they're smarter than dogs. >> they're smarter than dogs. and i was told a pig is as smart as a two year old and can use a computer. a very smart computer. >> jon: what do you think a pig would google? [laughter] >> probably christie's home. [crowd cheering] >> outside his house. >> jon: can you order copies of animal. i don't know what's going on here. constantly wants to watch animal
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farm it's ridiculous. so this interstellar. do you know what, i don't want to give away thing. you're in it. that may be as far as i wanted to go. >> i play an astrophysicist. >> jon: can i say that. you're not in space. >> i'm not in space. >> jon: she doesn't go to space. thank god. anything else? that's it. >> you can say i matthew mcconaughey's daughter. it's this beautiful space and adventure. there's this water sequence but i couldn't brief because it's so intense. but the main part of it is about love and about a father and lawyer -- daughter and the bond of love. >> jon: i love a movie that
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is about something. an exploration of something. something that -- badman whereas a about a guy with a really deep voice. you're going to be an astronaut soon, right. >> in my next film i'll be playing an as not. the book called the martian. >> jon: did they spin you around in the thing. >> i was at jpo in pasadena last week and i got to see, i mean that was the unmanned stuff. i got to see chastity weber's twin. this week i get to go -- >> you get to do the thing. >> i don't know what they're going to let me do. >> jon: they're going to try to make you throw up. >> i'm all about it. >> all astronaut training is they spin you around and they go are you going to throw up. that's the whole training. >> i love that everyone's focused on space exploration right now. >> jon: can you imagine it
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landed a comet. do you know what the craziest part about it. bruce willis was on the phone. no, listen. [applause] i'm sorry to say. he gave his life. >> no, don't say that. >> jon: no, he did. look. no, i don't want to go. [cheers and applause] [laughter] >> jon: all right, i'm sorry. interstellar is in the theatres right now, right. >> right. >> jon: and that is not giving anything away. jessica chastain, everybody. [applause]
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smile for grand-mom. or text pictures from up here. okay, there we go. should we send a photo? you can even make calls way over here. talk and text with anyone anywhere there's a wi-fi connection. wi-fi calling on iphone 6 only from t-mobile. miller invented lite beer, the original 96 calorie pilsner, and that changed everything. this led to advertising about great taste, which led to farmers letting fresh hops cascade through their fingers. which led to brew masters admiring their craft, which led to hand models reaching for a cold one. which led to slow motion pours of golden goodness. which led to super slow motion pours, with subliminal messages added in for good measure. miller lite: we invented lite beer, and subliminal advertising, you're welcome. >> jon: that's our shown. join us tomorrow at 11:00.
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>> jon: that's our shown.
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