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tv   midnight With Chris Hardwick  Comedy Central  December 1, 2016 2:07am-2:36am PST

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not the platform though. >> i thought in my city of $as am i saw what a black lives matter protest looked like. i saw five fallen sphefers because of it. >> trevor: that is not fair, and that is true. >> no, no, st favor because the shooters say point blank shooters said he is doing this because of black lives matter. >> trevor: and there are many things you can say, i mean if you go outside, you can say anything about doing something because you cannot deny that the man had mentdal issues as well and he was in a tough place, just because you say the thing doesn't mean it is what it stands for, right? because you are the same person, you are the same person who argued on your show that just because donald trump has supportedders from the kkk doesn't mean is he in the kkk. (applause). >> trevor: you can't say. >> he, the shooter said i am-- . >> trevor: but black lives matter never said go out and shoot people. i am saying are you saying this to your audience. i do not understand where you getting that from. what if somebody says i fell emboldened by tomi lahren so i went out and shot black people.
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are you now responsible. >> but it's not -- it's not one or two people. if you look at it -- >> trevor: how many people. >> every city, look at the protest its that have gone on in baltimore n ferguson n new york sticker the protests that have turned to antitrump protests. these are not a few people, this is mass crowds of people. >> trevor: okay. >> they are doing it in the name of michael brown, of freddie gray, they are doing it as the front of black lives matter. and the mainstream media is emboldening these people. >> trevor: use that same logic are you using and then go police, are the police racist because police in many cities you look at baltimore, you look at what happened in new york, you look at what happened in the case of walter scott, you tell me are police racialist because they have been shown to harass black people unfairly, they have been shown to shoot black people when they are unarmed, does that mean the police are racist, because that is the same logic you are using. >> it is really not, because the mainstream media is not emboldening them as a group. did you know that a black man is 18.5 times nor likely to shoot a police officer than a police officer is to shoot a black man. no one wants to talk about it. >> trevor: here is the thing. so let me ask you this then.
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if you say as you said when you walked out, i'm not as mean as people think i am. i am not the person people think i am, what do you wish people would understand about you in another bubble. what do you wish. >> i wish that we could disagree with each other without thinking that we are bad people or il intentioned folks. so because i criticize a black person or i criticize the black lives matter move, that doesn't mean i'm antiblack. it does not mean that i don't like black people or that i am a racist, it means i'm criticizing a move. i criminal sighted kol inkaepernick t doesn't mean i don't believe in his first amendment rights it means i believe in my pirs rights to criticize him. it it doesn't make me a bads person or racist so point out. i never used racial slurs to address people, i never looked down on people because of their skin color. to me true diversity is diversity of thought, not diversity of color. i don't see color. i hillary clinton is as white as they come. >> trevor: you don't see color, so what do you do at a
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traffic light. i don't believe in that at all. when people say that. there is nothing wrong with seeing color. it is how you treat color that is more important. >> are you right, it is. >> trevor: here is my thing. like all these points that you make are great, and do i believe that you believe them. and i don't believe anyone is actively trying there are a few people trying to be bad from their point of view. but when i look at what you are saying, you say you are not pushing a racist narrative, are you not, you are criticizing, do you really believe are you criticizing and not mal intentioned when you say things like black lives matter is the new kkk. you realize black lives matter cannot be the new kkk. the kkk is still around. this he have not vacatedded their premises and most importantly to say black lives mat certificate the new kkk is to be like really, really minimize what the kkk did and what they stand for. that is not the same thing. surely you understand the incendiary-- feeling of your comments. you know that, surely. >> it's controversial but i think there are some things that need to be said and when the black lives matter movement is going out with signs saying fry them like bacon, f the police.
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when you see go out, if you see a white person target them. that is happening, it happened in milwaukee not too long ago. when that becomes the narrative and you are starting to loot, burn and riot what did the kkk do. >> trevor: we'll go around in sicialg, did you say what did the kkk do. >> what did they do. when you are saying-- listen, listen, trevor. >> trevor: wow, wow. >> when you are saying when there are people in the street saying if you see a white person, beat their ass, does that not sound reminisce ibt of the kkk or their motives to you. >> trevor: is that the narrative of black lives matter or are there people who are saying that within a crowd of other human beings. there is a distinction between a movement and the people, that is something that we keep coming back to. but let's go back to what you are saying on colin kaepernick and the national anthem. this is something i don't understand, and i watch your videos, i go i truly do not understand. you say colin kaepernick is exercising his first amendment rights and are you exercising your first amendment rights in criticizing him. so what you are saying is you have the right to say anything
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you want, so shut up. >> no, not at all. i'm saying i don't agree with what he did. i think that he went about it the wrong way. i don't think-- . >> trevor: what is the right way, when people say that i'm fascinated. what is the right way, here say black man in america who says i don't know how to get a message across. if i march in the street people say i'm a thug. if i go out and i protest people say it's a riot. if i bend down on one knee than it it is not-- what is the right way, something i always wanted to know. what is the right way for a black person to get attention in america. >> trevor, taking it out on our flag and our national anthem to me-- . >> trevor: but how. >> why would you take out your perceived oppression of black people out on the national anthem and our flag. a country that you live in, a country that you benefit from, a country that people of all races have died for. have died to protect, have died for the vote, died to be enfranchised by this nation. how do you then go and disrespect the flag and the anthem of that country. why is that the outlet. >> trevor: maybe you are a person who lived and read through history and you realize that a lot of those people of
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every color who died for this country, some of them didn't have the rights that their fellow servicemen had when they came back to the country after fighting. maybe are you one of those people who realizes that the pennal system in america was designed to oppress black people, it was designed to enslave people t is a relic of slavery, maybe you are one of those people. what i don't understand, a guy knee kneeling in the corner, i don't understand why that offends you so much, it is not like he is even trying to skinning over you, oh say me see-- no, he's not doing anything that feaks youment i don't understand why it ets go you. i genuinely don't. he is in a rn coulder kneeling by himself. why does that offend you so much. >> for me i know what that flag means to me. i know what that flag means to those fighting for our country right now it is bigger than a piece of cloth it is a symbol of patriotism, our national an 24e78 meant a lot to a lot of people and got people through hard times. in this country it has its scar, wound and history but i still believe it's the grattest nation on earth and if you live in this country, you want to better it it it.
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to disrespect our flag and anthem in that way and that be your outlet to get out whatever aggression you have, whether it be passive or active aggression, i disagree with it. and so he has every right to do it. that is his first amendment right and i agreement agree with his first amendment right to do it. i don't agree with what he did. now i should out sh up because i'm white i should shut up. i shouldn't be able to talk about black issues because i'm white. >> trevor: no one brought up whites at all. i never said that, i don't see color, i-- i don't think that that is what the argument is. what i am saying is i asked you one question and that is how should a black person bring up their grieveances hark is all i asked, how. if that is not the right way, if marching isn't the right way, what is the right way? >> when you talk, when what he said was he is protest the anthem and the flag because of the oppression of black people in this country. i would like him to further explain what he is talking about when he is discussing the black oppression in this country, also s it against police, is it it against the government, mi not
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sure what oppression he is discussion. i would love to have him come on my show and discuss it with me. to me when you make the flag and you make the anthem, the outlet for your anger, or the outlet to which are you going to protest your country that you live in, you reside it in, that you take $19 million a year from, i don't think that that is the correct outlet for your anger. so what is he protest iting? >> trevor: again, you haven't answered my question of how, how you want-- i am just asking how. and i am asking you honestly. not in a challenging way, i am saying, i don't know the answer apart from these methods so i would like to say how, you are the first person i met who said i have seen this message online. i'm not labeling you as the bad person, i just want to know if you ever thought of the how, that ask what i want to know. >> for me a lot of folks in the center, i being a woman, i didn't have rights after black people until women got the right to vote but because i feel like i'm a woman and i marginalized in 1078 way, i don't protest my country. i don't see what he is protest. i would like to know exactly
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what he is protesting it, it is a very-- . >> trevor: how do you protest then. >> i don't protection i'm not a victim. >> trevor: i guess we can go back and forth on a lot of these issues it's an interesting place to be in because honestly, you have won, you know, like your side has won as you say. the liberal snowflakes are melting in the streets as they protest. and now i would like to know from your side, genuinely, as someone who has won, do you believe that donald trump will follow through on his promises? >> i will be a vocal opponent if he doesn't. i am not somebody that gets on the cheerleading bandwagon. if he does something i disagree with, i will discuss it. i did before i was a trump supporter. i was critical of trump. i was a marco rubio girl for a long time. and then i started to see that was going to you are be our nominee. i said it's him or hillary. a lot of americans were in that position. i got closer to the campaign and started seeing some of the thing he was saying and the affect he was having on people and things
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he was saying that were touching people. >> trevor: he was touching people. >> yeah, he was. >> trevor: he really was. >> hillary could use some of that every now and then, right, bill say little busy, bill is a little busy. >> trevor: i appreciate you going on the show. huai thank you so much for being here. >> thank you, trevor. >> trevor: is a conversation to continue having. you can find tomi's final thoughts on lahren.
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>> that's our show for tonight, here it is, your moment of zen. >> president-elect donald trump is expected to announce more cabinet picks today as he continues to put together his administration. among them, stef everyone nuchkin as tre captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh >> chris: it's 29 minutes until midnight, when the day resets and we announce a winner.
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alright. alright. bad news, brits. as of early next year, your government will be keeping track of literally everything you do online, so now's the time for all of those kinky searches for "big beautiful ben" and "what does brexit mean again?" the investigatory powers act allows u.k. intelligence agencies to access citizens' digital activity and will store everyone's browser history for a year. to us americans, this is a gross violation of privacy, but to the british, this is a gross violation of privacy. critics have dubbed the bill the "snoopers charter," because britain can't help but make horrible, dystopian things sound adorably quaint. this bill was made official now that the queen has given it her royal stamp of approval, which is still a thing for some reason. so, since her royal highness is cool with the government getting all up in our business, comedians, what might we find in her majesty's browser history? [laughing] >> two corgies, one cup.
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[lghing] >> chris: yes. [laughing] >> she loves corgies. chris: the internet nodes to make that. matt. >> what do i actually do? chris: yes, points. [ applause ] kr-fplt yes. >> how to kill kate middle ton like i killed princess daina. >> chris: okay. next up "steam park." did you know sometimes things from japan are weird? talk a second and process it. take this ad for a proposed amusement park that combines the tranquility of a day spa with the screaming nausea of roller coasters: ♪ [laughing]
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>> chris: yee-haw! hold on to your hats and genitals! why wait for pigeons to give you legionnare's disease? the concept was proposed by the mayor of beppu city, and sure, there's public nudity, but you can tell it's completely desexualized because there aren't any tentacles. that's how you know in japan. comedians, what are some of the attractions at this proposed day spa theme park? tpha *t. >> the world's most unsanitary sushi bar. >> chris: points. again even. >genine.>> six flags over your d asshole. >> chris: next up. "mit happennens. once upon a time, mitt romney and his haircut tweeted this about president-elect and popular sunkist soda flavor donald trump: "hitting on married women? condoning assault? such vile degradations demean
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our wives and daughters and corrupt america's face to the world." but after a whirlwind bromance where the pair talked about the secretary of state job while dining on frogs legs and bald eagle wings, romney said this: >> i have had a wonderful evening with president elect trump. by the way it's not easy to win. i know that myself. he did something i tried to do and was unsuccessful accomplishing. he won the general election. >> chris: huh. what a cuck. i'm impressed you couldn't see trump's lips moving. i lost because it's official mrn than me. i'm a big baby who goes poopy in my diaper. what do you want from me. i'm not big enough to grab a lady in the bathing suit area drunk on calv on caffeine.
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what else will he had to admit to join trump's cabinet? jenine. >> he has to reveal the mormon who styles his wigs and burkas. >> chris: yes. >> he will have to say, my carefully cultivated image as an elder states man of the gop. a tinsel thing veneer i was willing to shove up my own asshole in order to get a job with the mab i swor man i swore. >> chris: yes. paraphrasing there. points, points. [cheers and applause] >> chris: next u up swag hag. single stuff for those with the
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address. great things for single ladies to send themselves. organic bath and beauty products and other exciting prizes for as little as $24.99 a move, plus your dig tpheult. this is so pandery. i am curious. what's the maley give lent? guys like to be typicallized too. what is dumb crap you would find in a guy's monthly box. >> a hole so you can [beep] the box. >> chris: that's all we need. [cheers and applause] >> chris: matt. >> dick tampons. [laughing] >> how do they work?
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>> it's actually my original -- this is shark tank, right. >> chris: this is shark tank. >> chris: that's the end of "rapid refresh." let's check the scoreboards. with four hundred points it's michael ian black. [cheers and applause] >> chris: with 400 points her new hour special "if i may" is streaming now on seeso, it's janeane garofalo. [cheers and applause] >> chris: i have been friends with janeane since 1991. it wasn't allowed before so many of you were born. i'm so proud you don't have any social media whatsoever. >> i don't use a computer. i know you don't believe me. people just don't believe. that they believe in deities and extraterrestrials but they don't believe people don't use a computer. >> chris: with 400 points it's
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co-host of the "sorry i've been so busy" podcast, available on itunes, it's matt goldich. [cheers and applause] p-rbg >> chris: and now it's time for tonight's "hastag wars." >> chris: you know what hashtag are right? >> a tick tack billboard. chris: no. >> a pound sign. chris: no. >> tick tack toe. chris: no. >> pound sign. twitter was aflame yesterday when "hamilton" creator lin-manuel miranda and fantasy-creator the rock teamed up to produce a 14-minute short about twentysomethings and their gosh-darn social media obsession, in a musical version of "get off my lawn!" the story is about a girl who loses her phone, but finds love, and also she probably has h.p.v. take a look. ♪ ♪
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>> oh, god. [laughing] >> chris: it's so true. [laughing] so in honor of "millennials: the musical," we're following suit with tonight's hashtag. #millennialmusicals. examples: "phantom of the whole foods" and "beauty and the bae." i'm putting 60 seconds on the clock, starting now! michael. >> jesus christ vine star. chris: points. janeane. >> wicked khr wicked clamitia. >> the rocky horror original. >> the music major. >> oklahoma where the dumb dumbs voted for trump. >> chris: points. matt. >> the contents producers. chris: yes, points. mike. >> willy wonka and the gluten fro dessert factory. >> chris: points. >> tinder on the roof. chris: yes, points. matt. >> glee.
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chris: yes. michael. >> bye bye, bernie. chris: points. >> yes, very old. [laughing] [ applause ] >> chris: that's the end of "hashtag wars." send us your #millennialmusicals and tag them @midnight to keep the game going. we'll be right back with more @midnight. our tweet-of-the-day from last night's "hashtag war" was sent to us by @baronmarx. to us by @baronmarx. well done! this year at t-mobile, the holidays are on us! to us by @baronmarx. well done! switch your family of four to t-mobile, get unlimited everything, and we'll give you $800. that's right! $800 to spend anywhere you want. plus, all season long, get awesome deals on smartphones, tablets, and accessories.
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hurry in to t-mobile and get your holidays on us. thintroducing the new steakhouse burritoeak. and steakhouse nachos from taco bell. we're talking a double portion of juicy, marinated steak drenched in zesty queso. the new steakhouse burrito and steakhouse nachos. [sfx: bong!]
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>> chris: welcome back to @midnight. it's time to play "keep your knits about you." "keep your knits about you" good news for all you wool freaks: this game is all about sweaters. we're featuring selections from the tumblr "wit knits," an amazing collection of photos from a 1986 british sweater book where all the models look like the hosts of a dark children's show that teaches you how to
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make crafts from human flesh. i'm going to show you a be-sweatered '80s brit, and for. 250 points, you're going to tell me what they have the perfect look for. first up, this v-necker. what is that -- god damn this looks like a [beep] hipster now. mike. >> that is the perfect look for a youth pastor who is definitely not a pedophile. >> chris: points. points. matt. >> putting tadpoles up your butt. >> chris: points. points. >> huh. [laughing] >> chris: trying to figure out -- too much information. i started wondering how would you do that. a funnel, one at a time. >> no they wiggle and they're wet already. >> chris: just back in there. [laughing] >> chris: alright. next up, this piano man.
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matt. >> killing and eating billy joel. >> chris: perfect. the red covers the blood splatter. >> a beating on elton john's lawn. >> chris: points. michael ian black. >> i'm going with the over 40s guys only josh groben fan club. >> ahhh. chris: points. [ applause ] >> chris: next one this high-energy gal! what is this? >> doing cokey jazzercize. >> the only way to do it. jim: janeane. >> a beating at ye old comic con. [laughing] >> chris: matt. >> making white people feel cooler. [laughing] >> chris: points. >> we need it. next up, here is a couple's look. how about that.
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janeane. >> a beating on a train. chris: yes, points. matt. >> -- orgy. chris: yes. points. >> chris: michael ian black. >> a whimsical murder/suicide. >> what the butler saw. chris: next up this luxurious man. a fine that few afford. michael ian black. >> assassinating kenny loggins. chris: janeane. >> a beating by siegfried and roy. >> chris: points. finally this fun family. what's the look for. >> making the kid you kidnapped look like part of your family. >> oh, ya. [ applause ] >> chris: that's the end of "keep your knits about you."
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it's time for our live challenge "pawn stars." >> chris: as you know things have changed since i grew up. nerd culture is a rich culture with sword collectors and trekies. one breed goes overlooked. the chess fanatic. guys, i still have my junior high memphis city chess champion trophy in my room at home. [ applause ] >> chris: i know. [ applause ] >> do you use the opening you used? >> chris: when i'm white i play e2e4. >> slower. [laughing]
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well, poindexters, get ready o nut: the world chess championship is happening today in new york city! in one corner, hailing from crimea, sergey "the panty dryer" karjakin! [ applause ] in the other, from norway, magnus "restraining order" carlsen! [ applause ] >> chris: by the way how thirsty do they think these guys are going to get during this match? reportedly, one billion people will be following the event, including chess enthusiast vladimir putin, who plans to have the loser killed via radiation poisoning. comedians, i want you to give me an in-arena announcement to get the crowd amped for this chess championship. we'll get your answers after the break, and be right back with more @midnight! [cheers and applause]


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