pivot, not pivoting, i'm not suggesting that, he's beginning to survey and adapt. joanne nosuchinsky, thank you for joining us. >> thank you, lou. .ou: andy? lou: thank you for joining us, join us tomorrow. good night from new york. kennedy: oh! mercy! i'm watching the aftermath of donald trump's decisive super tuesday sweep hit and burn hollywood like flaming burning napalm and packing maple syrup and heading to the great white north. if donald trump is elected president terrified narcissists are moving to canada, guess who put herself to the front of the visa line, hipster lena dunham who said i know people have been threatening to do this. i really will. i know a lovely place in vancouver and i can get my work done from there. plastic surgery?
not one to waste a glorious gift, the donald seized it on fox and friends. >> now i have to get elected. doing a great service to our country. i have to. it's much more important. in fact, i'll immediately get off the call and start campaigning right now. kennedy: hollywood, don't put me in the position of defending donald trump. i have slurped from your milky bosom for the better part of two decades, land up the ambrosia of opportunity and mostly ignored shrill leftist cries, i can be silent no more because i'm downright gleeful. are you honestly telling me electing donald trump will bring the swift immigration of noxious tarts like lena dunham and miley cyrus and scuttlebutts like al sharpton and whoopi goldberg and josh groban. to get these blow hard half wits to resettle would go beyond making america great again.
releasing the hot air from atmosphere would reverse climate change, yeah, and heal the planet. only risk to the mass exodus is canada is threatening to build a wall on southern border, and yeah, we're going to pay for it. not to be outdone. cher compared the trump presidency to dracula running the blood bank, i guess donald trump is thirsty for america? i loved cher, especially in mask. she played the redheaded kid, right? no? okay, good. tom hanks has also joined the fray. >> i think that man to be president of the united states right about the time that spaceships come down filled with dinosaurs and red capes. kennedy: i may not be a political man, but i know what an alien is. be careful, tom, "national review" said the same thing about trump's primary chances and that will probably give the donald the bright idea of prebranding the dino landing
and the capes will definitely read, you guessed it, make america great again. tom, lay off the vodka. on the show, prince's estate left in chaos, what happens to unpublished songs? kimberly guilgoyle joins me. donald trump makes a foreign policy speech. is there anything for libertarians? and dana perino with a very special surprise. stick around. glad you're here, i'm kennedy. . kennedy: oh, donald trump, turning focus on democratic front-runner hillary clinton saying he's got only one card to scomplashgs that's the women's card. here's donald. >> i think the only card he has is the women's card, nothing else going, and frankly if hillary clinton were a man, i don't think she'd get 5% of the vote. kennedy: hillary took a little time to respond. she was right back at it.
>> well, if fighting for women's health care and paid family leave and equal pay is playing the woman card, then deal me in! [cheers] . kennedy: wow, like listening to a symphony of baby angels. let's bring in the party panel to discuss all of it. dagen mcdowell from the fox business network, making his triumphant return comedian sherrod small. rounding it out is fox news contributor meghan mccain. >> yes, megan! >> scoot back, sherrod's back, tell a friend. start with you. she's playing the woman's card. >> isn't there such thing says a woman's card. stop making it the black something else. american express has it. a woman's card is not a real thing. kennedy: you don't think there are women who are going to vote for former secretary clinton
because of womanliness to make history? >> maybe, here's the thing, a woman president, we could have had a woman president. women have the majority of votes for the longest. kennedy: they carry the pocketbook around. >> here's the problem with a woman president. women? you hate each other. [laughter] when you leave the room you are going, you see what i'm saying? >> i like to grab their butts, both of them, talk about what? >> so would i. >> i look ought when you leave the room. [laughter] >> i don't look at you sitting across from you in a sexual manner because it might make you feel uncomfortable. kennedy: substandard. do you long for hillary clinton in the same way? >> my gosh. kennedy: is there something interesting about her presidency, when she leaves the room, do you look at her with that fascination? >> no, hillary clinton doesn't know who she wants to. she doesn't know who she is. the other day, i swear to god,
she sounded like bill it. made her a little more handsome, if you will. she was doing the arkansan thing. people don't want hillary clinton to be the president because they know a woman won't be elected to the presidency for 200 years. kennedy: i think you can make the argument that president obama damaged race relations and hillary clinton could do the same for sexism. i don't care, i just want the very best person. donald trump had a very decisive victory last night, winning all five primary states by handsome margins, how much does that change the race? >> think it's donald trump's to lose, john kasich and ted cruz are doing everything possible to stop it. i don't know if it's going to happen. i want to pivot off of this, when are they going to stop putting the christies behind
donald trump. reacting physically, and as someone who stood behind politicians on stage like that, your only job is to look at candidates like they're saying the most fascinating thing in the world. chris christie looked like he has seen the devil and mary pat looks confused why she is there. get these two offstage, she is so distracting. >> like the hot dog man walked past him and he wanted to get his attention. >> like trump turned into a porkchop. i can't focus on anything else. he looks like every friend of mine who's been a bridesmaid who still isn't married. [laughter] >> stares at him like you -- >> so true! [laughter]. >> mary pat did it, too. she's doing it too. kennedy: they had two completely separate misfires. >> leaning to the side across from him, when he said woman card, her eyes darted to the
side. >> i will say one thing, if hillary does win, it will prove that a woman can do anything as long as her husband did it first. >> oh! [laughter]. >> like clean the toilet. >> never did it. >> no husband knows how to do that. >> it's her job. chris christie wasn't the only one with visions of sugarplums and the vice presidency dancing in his head. senator ted cruz doing everything he can to get tedmentum. he announced carly fiorina will be his running mate. >> finally. kennedy: if he wins the nomination. >> i have come to the conclusion that if i am nominated to be president of the united states they will run on a ticket with my vice presidential nominee, carly fiorina. [cheers and applause] . kennedy: sherrod, does this do either of them any favors in the most likable people that
have been in the presidential race. >> seems like a weird combination, you got to get a woman on the ticket. kennedy: is that a euphemism. >> could be. you can't have an all-sausage ticket is what i'm saying. kennedy: okay. >> you got to bring in vegan soup. >> true. >> i love carly fiorina, i love the way she took it to hillary clinton at the debate. i love carly fiorina. it's a good move to have her on his team. making a vp choice before you're the nominee seems premeditated. kennedy: glad you said that, it has happened three times before, in fact, it happened in 1952. >> all right. kennedy: happened sometime in the 1800s and again in 1976. >> and never a woman choice for the choices. kennedy: >> in modern times we have good antipsychotic drugs, there's no excuse for being delusional and naming somebody as your running
mate when you have a snowball's chance in you know where you got the nomination. kennedy: the day off lost five states, and come in third place in four of them! >> right. don't you want a partner that is the opposite of you like a martin and lewis, this is kind of a martin and martin. they have the same personality. right? the same demeanor. >> i like carly, i really do. >> but you don't like ted? >> i like her much more than ted. >> because he's a psychopath? >> they both are very good with stats and have their own troubles with genuine organic warmth to dagen's point. >> it's like double frosting. boom. >> she goes for hillary's jugular in a way nobody else did. i loved that. kennedy: you know who else is going to do that, donald j. trump. >> it would matter if ted cruz is going to be the nominee. kennedy: all right. well my nominee is for the panel to return to talk about
♪. kennedy: we keep the music going here just for you. welcome back. yesterday, bernie sanders suffered some pretty big losses to hillary clinton, poor baby. he seems intent on staying in the race. here he is earlier today insisting he's still got a chance. >> let me also make it clear so that there is no confusion. we are in this campaign to win and become the democratic nominee. [cheers] . kennedy: bernie! my party panel is back to talk meghan mccain. and dagen meghan, start with you, what does winning look like to bernie sanders, what does that mean? >> the thing about bernie sanders and supporters, they're
so dramatic. okay, scarlet o'hara, the sky is falling. he is losing. there is not the roswell landing, not a strange conspiracy theory that the government is trying to outtake you. if we learned nothing so far, the establishment has no power whatever. his message isn't resonating with a lot of people, minorities. he's tanking when it comes to the minority vote. maybe america doesn't want to be socialist. that's a blanket thing people have chosen and i find bernie sanders and supporters so dramatic. kennedy: there's a silent majority of capitalism, people who want to make money and keep it. >> the horror! >> you guys are so gross. why does he stay in the race? >> he ain't got much to do. when the grandkids, let them run. ain't money out of my pockets. let them run. >> he's such an incredible fund-raiser. 40, 50 million dollars a month.
kennedy: take some of the money and get a solid gold rolls-royce and say i went for mine. >> like richard pryor in car wash? there's been a big rolls-royce. kennedy: i got the reference. >> let them run. >> why wouldn't he release tax returns? kennedy: one of the secret oligarchic billionaires. i asked rod why should he get out? >> rosario dawson is showing up at all the different rallies, you know the old dude has the hots for her. no makeup. dresses like she doesn't care. kennedy: but still really pretty. >> so pretty. >> and giving it to hillary clinton too, pulled out the monica lewinsky and boom, dropped that on her. kennedy: was that necessary? >> you know what, if you're rosario dawson, she's doing bernie's dirty work for him.
>> she brought up monica saying what? >> that the bullying, they were bullying bernie the way that the clintons bullied monica. kennedy: i guess you could make the argument. >> if that's a bully, i'm a bully. kennedy: if someone is doing something to your husband where his bathing suit covers, all bets are off. you can use any retribution to right that wrong. >> it's not bullying when you did something despicable. it's getting back. >> monica lewinsky is on twitter making jokes about beyonce's "lemonade." i do not need that either. kennedy: exactly right, meghan mccain. monica lewinsky, flow your rolls, sister. speaking of beyonce, unexpected spotlight shone upon her from "lemonade." we'll talk about how she got confused with jay-z's other possible woman. first, did donald trump say good things in foreign policy speech? i'll speak with thomas massey from the state of connecticut.
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. kennedy: hi there. earlier today, donald trump gave a speech about foreign policy. he was much calmer than usual. he was reading off a teleprompter and said tanzania. take a look. >> we need a new rational american foreign policy, informed by the best minds and supported by both parties, and it will be by both parties. democrats, republicans, independents, everybody, as well as by our close allies. this is how we won the cold war, and it's how we will win our new future struggles, which
may be many, which may be complex, but we will win if i become president. [ applause ] >> and here to assess donald trump's international agenda congressman thomas massie from the great state of kentucky, welcome back, how are you doing? >> doing great. thanks for having me, kennedy. kennedy: a very big speech after a big night. what did you as a limited government limited loving republican want to hear from donald trump's speech? >> a lot of his speech spoke to me there, as an advocate of taxpayer dollars and fiscal responsibility and a noninterventionist, i thought he was answering a lot of the questions that the american public's been asking. for instance, why are we subsidizing the defense of socialist countries? they may be our allies but their debt to gdp ratio is lower than ours. why are we building from from in afghanistan when our own infrastructure is crumbling at home.
and taking out iraq and the middle east, are we better off in syria and libya now that we've intervened? questions that the americans have are and rightfully asking, and i'm asking, why are we sending so much foreign aid overseas when we have problems at home. i think what he said is resonating with people. kennedy: are you surprised we're having these discussions? these aren't the discussions we've had in the modern history of past presidential cycles, and how important is it to talk about these things? >> it's really important. these discussions have been tamped down. we have all these what i call weapons of mass distraction that people want to talk about and don't talk about the burning issues and the questions that we've had. look, we've spent $2 trillion in wars in the middle east. that's adding up to real money, and we're spending out of sight in afghanistan to rebuild over there. so these are questions that need to be answered. i'm glad he's having them, and glad we're past that part of
the debate where everybody calls each other names. kennedy: no, and i do appreciate the limited government perspective he's coming from when he talks about reassessing our investment in nato, and you know, bases all over the world, but he also talks about beefing up the military, and, you know, he talk about dwindling naval ships, and a smaller standing army, and things that if you really change and add so much more to the military budget, it seems like the economy won't be able to support that. is that troublesome for you? >> well, he also talked about taking care of our veterans. that's going to resonate with americans. resonates with me. but i think he also did mention that there is waste everywhere and may be a wasteful spending in the military and we need to spend the money more intelligently. look, you can't be everywhere all the time, and some of this spending, you know, when you drop bombs, those cost money,
you could be building the strength of our building instead of expending it every day in a dozen countries. kennedy: all right, so the speech was obviously much more focused and he didn't just talk about the middle east. he talked about asia and all that stuff, but he talked a lot about defeating isis. does that sound like the most solid plan you've heard from either the sitting president or those who really want his job? >> i don't think the sitting president has a plan for defeating isis. he's talking about a no-fly zone. last time i checked, isis is in toyotas and tanks, they don't have airplanes. our president and folks here in washington, d.c., some on my side of the aisle are fixated with getting rid of assad instead of getting rid of isis. trump is focused on the right adversary whereas the current president is not. our current president wants to destabilize another regime in the middle east that's going to create more refugees. kennedy: yeah, i think you have a really good argument for
that. obviously, limiting government, controlling spending, and things that you fight for on a daily basis. are you excited about donald trump? i see you are excited about the speech. >> i endorsed rand paul, and once he got out i decided i'm not endorsing anybody. i will be a delegate in cleveland, i'm looking forward to that. kennedy: interesting, it's as though you've had a bad breakup and you have become a monk. appreciate it, congressman. >> thank you, kennedy. kennedy: coming up, a pet shop owner pays for a prostitute the old-fashioned way. money from stolen girl scout cookies and a primate. cookies and a primate. and chris christie's dance to
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is a scarecrow and flying monkeys are setting him on fire, comply away with me. this is the "topical storm." topic number one. the first story was sent to us by loyal "topical storm" fan t.n. freeman. tipping etiquette gets difficult. what kind of primate should you give a prostitute after her services? barrie apparently tips his lady of the night by robbing his own pet store and giving her this. he reportedly paid for the sex worker by stealing $7,000 worth of girl scout cookie money.
the prostitute has been cooperative in handing over gooey. that's the sex gratuity primate. mr. mcclain has been arrested for driving under the influence of methamphetamine. so avoid confusing etiquette problems like this by tipping your prostitute with bit coins. topic number two. governor and a half chris christie is a well-known bruce springsteen fan an turned out to the concert this weekend with some killer dance moves. there he is. oh, yeah, pull those pants up high. there he is miemg what he would like to do where ted cruz if he could get a grip on his lapels.
there he is mouthing a few words. just singing along. no longer transfixed by donald trump's head. here is a close-up of chris christie at a concert from last year. it's so sexy. i hope someone gave him a primate as a tip. dear governor, here is gooey. topic number three. it takes time and discipline to train your dog. and it takes even more time and discipline to train your toddler. watch this. >> you want to feed him. sit, stay. stay. stay.
kennedy: 472 that dogs are superior to cats. dogs have incredible self sh control. remember? he's hypnotized like he's standing behind donald trump during an election-day speech. topic number four. the united kingdom has a new hero. it's d.j. artwork who ordered a pizza to his train while it tomorrowed briefly between glasgow and sheffield. >> there we go. thank you very much. that's for you.
thank you very much. thank you, bye. kennedy: dominoes always delivers. even if dominoes is doing this as some sort of public city stunt. it's pretty impressive. imagine how successful the operation had to be to reach the train 40 seconds before the train pulled away. if france they would still be making the pizza. but not britain. where they are efficient and polite. >> excuse knee, i would like to murder my wife and i was wondering if you want to murder your wife, too. i could murder your wife and i could murder your wife and that way we would probably get away with it. kennedy: and they celebrated
over a slice of delicious pizza. tom car ever is the senator d tom carver stumped for former secretary clinton. what's the quickest way to connect with vote officers obviously by bringing up 70s disco sensation donna summers. one of the great divas. say donna summer, diva, extraordinaire. kennedy: we are off to such a good start. that was a hell of a crowd warmup. just wait until he leaves the room in singing her. >> she works hard for the money, so we better treat her right.
we are going to say it together. she works hard for the money, so, she works hard for -- so we better ... kennedy: i honestly think that's a diagnoseable psychiatric condition. it's so energizing. senator tapper's code name should be electric beige. but one person is getting pretty excited. >> she works hard for the money, so hard for the money. she works hard for the money. kennedy: chris christie in delaware because he loves sing alongs. if you have weird stories you can tweet me on kennedynation. and use #topicalstorm. coming up, beyonce's blockbuster
on how to serve lemonade. she has got lavender lemonade ice cubes which sound so good. but the surprising thing here is jz wasn't cheating with rachel roy, she was cheating with rachael ray. she made some dumplings and gravy. >> the controversy is she referred to this person as a becky. becky in the neighborhood means white girl. that's why rachael roy, i thought she would be out because she is not a becky. >> i can't get enough of this scandal. i watched lemonade not once but twice. it's amazing.
it's the first time beyonce is really real and raw. i don't know if it's about her parents or her relationship with jay-z. i think she is a genius. rachael roy is an idiot to put on her instagram being proud that she hypothetically cheated with a married man. she is bragging about cheating with a dude. ladies, let's have each other's backs. >> beyonce has a fantastic country song called "daddy." which is amazing. kennedy: she has daddy issues so that lends itself to the art form country music. is she talking about the
breakdown of her marriage or is she a supreme opportunist know who knows. >> she is bert that promoting herself more than the kardashians by 100. i'm not going to say anything negative about my girl. i'm going to see her at citi field later. >> how about you make a video about beating up jay-z in an elevator. kennedy: i want to stand up and do the kick where he grabs her foot. >> if she just moved her gown.
>> i could watch for days of jay grabbing her foot. megyn and dagen. coming up, what happens to all of prince's unreleased songs? i'm talk to kimberly guilfoyle all about it. and danna perino my school reunion's coming fast. ♪ could be bad. could be a blast. can't find a single thing to wear. will they be looking at my hair? won't be the same without you bro.
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kennedy: principle died suddenly last week. according to his sister he did not manage his estate or leave a will. so who gets the massive royalties checks. >> on "the five" it's an incredible story. the world is saying what's going to happen to the millions. kennedy: i'm so surprised he didn't have a will. >> especially when you saw the statements he was making. saying hold your prayers, wait for a couple days. he was having physical problems and ailments. you would think someone would advise him and say why don't you make a will.
in minnesota he has half siblings as well as the one surviving sister. under minnesota law half siblings are treated the same. ther has asked there be an administrator appointed to straighten this out. the government is going to get the majority of this estate because it will be taxed and valued, including the songs he has in the vault that he has not released publicly. instead of someone close to prince that he decided when and if those songs should be released, they can go ahead and say determine the value, they are going to tax them on that and they could all be released without any kind of consideration or review it in an order he would like it to be because he was so artistic. the music fans will get that. but the government and the state of minnesota is going to take the majority of that. maybe somewhere upward of $200
million just in taxes. kennedy: considering that he was so private and meticulous anded so much music of such great value that he kept under wraps. i assumes there would be a an he can he caanexecutor. >> you want to maintain some control of your artistic life. now it's just going to be a mess in court with people fighting and trying to get as much money as they can. with so much going to taxes they will want even more for the other music and songs to be released so they can get their payday. kennedy: it sounds like it could go on for years.
>> may 2 they are going to begin this process. kennedy: as a music fan i'm interested to see what he's got. but it worries me it's going to be disorganized. the shock of his death has yet to sink in. we don't know how he died. more mysteries from one of the most eccentric performers. >> all the profit already just the people downloading and buying songs since he died. purple rain, when doves cry. >> sales went up 16,000 percent season his death. dana perino has a story that she put in a brand-new version of her book. that's next.
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kennedy: recently danna perino add new chapters to her book. it shows the close personal side of george w. bush that she encountered as his press secretary. not on did she learn from him, but she is here to give us her dos and don'ts of mentoring. welcome back. >> thank you. kennedy: one thing i love about your book. it's not just you talking about your life story, you be also have a lot of advice and mentoring especially for young women. your dos and don'ts. you say one of the most important thing is to let go of regrets. >> one thing president bush
always said is you don't get do-overs. you made the decision based on the time and the information you had. letting go of regrets is important. and letting go when you thought you were in trouble. years later i asked him, do you remember that time you were mad at me in the oval office. he said no i don't remember. i was the deputy press secretary. he said dana, i don't remember this. he said have you been worried about this for 7 years? i said yes, i actually have. i wake up thinking i'm in trouble before the alarm goes off. kennedy: i'm the same way. i have always had that in the back of my head. one of the most important things which a lot of people forget because it's casual every day. dress for the job you want. >> don't just dress for the job
you want, not the one that you have. so step it up a little bit. it doesn't take a lot. take a moment before you walk out of the door and say does this woman look like she want to go to work today? if the answer is no, add something, take something off, lengthen the skirt, whatever it might be. kennedy: i say, does this woman look like a mental patient. you say mentoring goes both ways. a lot of people are worried to ask for advice, but you say ask for advice when you need it because people love to help. for younger people looking for a mentor, you have to be respectful of that person's time. you can't say can we go to lunch every three weeks. no, she doesn't have time to go to lunch with you every three weeks. but can you walk with her from the deli to her car and get that
advice. reverse mentors are so important. we have a lot to learn. i had a young assistant and she told me about twitter. i said who needs that. i don't have time to that. she said i can show you how to post pictures of your dog. i'm in. now i'm interested. kennedy: we need to keep up our skills as well. the best thing baby boomers and generation x can do is pass it on and give back. i want to get in at least one of your don'ts. if you spent he much time and mental energy, don't worry your life away. >> i was talking about, and the reason the good news is. i always tried to plan out my life. and all the good things that happened to me is because god had a better plan and i was willing to take a risk.
i would look at these young audiences and say please don't worry your life away. you don't have to have the top job by 30. kennedy: so many of them are so hyper focused and they want success early. they worry if they haven't reached those milestones they failed. >> millennials want a roadmap on how to get from a to b. they will go on that journey anyway. they will get there, they just can't plan it all out. kennedy: they need to read dr. seuss "all the places you can go." your book now out in paperback with updated chapters. thank you so much. and thank you for watching the show. tomorrow libertarian presidential candidate gary johnson.
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