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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  February 26, 2016 10:35pm-11:37pm MST

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papaer h hh h h ol is teacacng studentn about lowerg fofo wawae and givi it to
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it is partneng with colorado ngngfood rescue and conete coucucuc today, s s s ss created a mural ininhe& hoolafeteria. it will serve as a constant remimierbout wastingng food. the school is alsosoing sure ununed fd is not#just tossed out. "so what they cado is if ey're not gog to eat thehe plplor their not ing to f fish their r lk jug theyeyan put it t t t in their food rescue bin d will have a v vunteer that's g gng to take t food ght er to springs rescue mission twice a week." concrere couch donated one thouound
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>> jon: : epepn cocoert! ( baba p pying introusic ) captiong snsor by cbs te: k you. cheersrsndus lcto "the la s"thanks, , erybyb k yo thu, sir. ank you! te! ststhehe steen!! stephen! sph! ephen! stephenen stephen! s sphen stephhey!
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welcomomto "the late show,"" erybody. i'm utephen colberer now, a couple weeks ag.. thank yoyoyo much. i don't know, friday night, wowoerful to be hehe on ayd%d% t. thank you much for being here. cole of weeks ago,o,f u guysatch the shohoon a regular basis. doou guys watch the show? ( eers and a alae ) that's good to know. that's good to know. w, i told you a few weeks o, that scientists at cambridge iversity in england releasas a ststy y y said it was scntifififly i iossible for spider-man twalk on wa okay, i belie itas a ph.d. thesis o odestroying m m m dh why do y y yt to hurt me, cambridgdg why destroy my dreams? ( laught) given a alpel, woulu you ssececa rainbow? laught )) at har that w hard to read.
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that wasasard to read. it was almlmt asasisappointiti as when they reazed d at study proving th, r hawkman to fly like a bdt he woululalso he tooop p ke a aird. i'm just saying, batman, be careful ere you parkrkhe batmobile. and definite put theop up. t anyway, h%re's-- here is the spider-man situatiti. ter parker party poopersat cambridge claimededhattsomeone man-sized c!n't get enoughghdhesion a w wl toto climb with hands this size. the largesanimim capaple of climbibi wall, t ty s y, is a ge comemen! whwhwants to be rescued by gecko n? >> jon: i i n't want no gegeo. >> s sphenen"i have saved you om t t green goblin.h. w, i will l ve y y 15% on n n inrance." laughterer) ( apapau ) ( rsrsnd appppuse) no! ((cheers a a applause ))but haha just received s s
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the e per-heroes a astanford university in ththstates just sent me e is: so, c crt, i i s watchihi your show w thuhuday, and you id something about spider-man not being able to clb b lls. w, here attanford, we had an issue with tha because, if youdon't just copypthe e cko, but instd yoyore clever about how you distribu youweighth you can e a vice likthis, and a hun n n climb a glass3wallll >> stephen: that's rigig. sper-man could be real after all, becausetanfd has created ider-m gloves to scale a buding. let't!ke a lk at stanfd' amazing weweinger in action! there he is. there he is. ( laughter ( slowly ):
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spi-d-man, oeatever aearsrsbe criminana, you u e on notice.e. spider-man is gogog aring y#u to jticece ju stay on the second floorr dngi him a e eur and 20 minutes.. yoyore on your hon! he coming! ( cheers and applaus ) cha-ping. cha-ping. ting! on: tk. >> stephen: ting! so, , k yo`ltanford. keep stickckg itititthosos knuckleheads at mbridge. oh, oh!! "late show" sense i i tingling, because we've got a great show for yoy tonight! ( cheers and applause ) is that att t ? two?o?>> jon: nonoone, twowo >> stephen: first, i'l'lbe sitting downith h bby cannavale. ( chee and applause ) his w shsh, "vinyl," is about e york music sce in the '70s.
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imine e hardoccaca, but th nc icfifis. en'r'rg g te a look at the greatatt sur wl a a allime wi advertising legend donny deutsch. ( apause ) you argoing to want to-- you goeng toant to stay through all my commercials to see e escommcialal plus, wewel hear music from sing-sgwririr charles kelley. ( eers and a alausus oh, hey! tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. that's jon batiste and the sta human dancers, everybody. say , y'all! ( chrs and a alausus )
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( cheers and applause ) >> steph: that my y per- hero, man. hihionly power, , en he'noih& the wa is tolop. thisisand is about to play that secr note that s4srts show. but bere they do, one more tping: ohigovornor john kasich has pledged to reunite pinin floyd ifife is elected president. but is al against legalizi pot, so he does not want you to enjojothem. annnnncer: : night, stephen lcomes actor bobby cnavale. advertising lend donny deutsch. and a musical performance by chchles kelley.
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human. and now itime for "t lat with stephen n n ert!" ( chchrs and applause >> steteen: hey! hey, everybody! thank you so muc >> stephen! ephen! stephen! hen! stephen! stephehe >> stephen: thk u so much! u u owhat? ( cheers and applause ) that amazi energy. i knkn, you cannot beat ththe idid crowds, likikthe one we haveveonight. ( cheers and applause bebeususususus you can't beat t tm. becae, as i i id before, iis
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anwe definitely did not pre-tape this thursday so we cpuld have extra time e rere for r r special livehow right afr the per bowl on nday. proro it, i'll prove it right now. audience, is it idayay >> audienc yeses >> sphen: and as you know, every friday, we set upp pothetic battles between two persons, places or tngs. it could b banything, lili pen vercus sword; the '6'6cleveland browns v vsus 2010 boston pops; hoe-sisid duck versus s horse-sized horse. enenen post those maups as twitter lllland t thehe peoplelidecide who wouou win the ttle. so get@\our gles out a put them on your ts. 's t te for... >^ aience:"friday ninit fights!" ( rs and applause ) >> steteen: welcome to j jiday
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( cheers and a alause ) no folks... ( cheers and applause ) everyby loves "friday night fights." first up, as we every w wk, fifit, let's check the results fromomt friday, , en i debed two classic match-ups with astrophysicist neil degras tyson. neil, , anks f coming babk to fafa the mic. ( cheers and applae hank you.. >> stephen: good to see you. righ neil.l. brace urself. our first fight pitted feline flake tycoon, tony the tiger, versus legume dandy, mr. peanut. , sisid wi mr.eat,but twittes`spokok, anthe nneras tony titiwi 62% ofofhe vote.e.
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how do youeel, neil?l? >> we'renking g peanut is, like, ! huhuhu bute's stillla vevetable.e. s sphen: right. >> and tererdon'n'eat vegetables. stephen: oh, so there's no apal teven attack. >> exactly!! tephen: nicely done, but too ..& neil, i ded withony, and it-r-r-rratifyinto w! for our xtatchp, this is in y yr w eelhouse, , il-house-- we debatededhich is more inesca@able, t super-massive black hole i ithcenter of our galaxy, sagitarrius-a, or the obligatiti to be with your family a athe holidays. neil, you sided withhe super- ssive ack hole because you're a mananf scscnce e d becacae you ha nevevet my milyly twtwtetesaid: 65% % mily. ((applause) i went two-for-two, neil.i i cked your "degegsse." whwh sayay? how do you feee%now?
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go with tht fact that the black hole....you codlstililbe with your family, and then the blk hole eats everyrody, you see. so i thohoht that cocod stil work as kind of a backdoor way for me to still win that one. >> stephen: your grandmother is not t tting anyhyounger. she just wanan to see you onon last time. okok, nonobudge over, neil.. you've done a good j j. we've brought t another champion fororors s ek. please`don't go anywhere, plpbse stay with usokay? i c c do thatat >> steen: it's time for ususo beoined by my next worthy opponent: she e editor hi of the "huffington posls" your one-stop shop p r politics, entenm andhat papa ose gom wn'pppped to oca tast. giup the tit ofl affifithe magiclilba greek who t ekea arianna huffgton! cheers and applause )
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darling. let's do this. arnna, tnk yornghere. good to see you again. >rere to see you. >> stephen: now, you're a champion debater. if i got t ts right, you wewe e captof your debete team at cambridge university. right. but i'm not as good a debater as you. >tephen: oh, really? >> no, not at all.l. >> stephen: i thinyou're a better debaterhan i am, and if u convince me i'm bebeer, that s i won. >> no, no. i'not as good, because you know whaha since donald truru, bragging is out, humilililis in. >> steteen: ohohreally? >> and, also, if i can beat expectations tonht, then i win. , basisilly, if everybody expects you to bbetter, but i turn out to be betetr, whether it's iowa, n n hamamhire, or "friday night fighgh," that's a nowow beating expectations. >> steteen: you're lowalling urselflf >> definitely. >> stephen: leles do it, then. are yoyoready for the fights? >> ready. >> stephen: okay.
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clsic. it matches mozart with hisiuagicic flute againqt ethoven wieldingnana mamamae. leles gogoaighto the tale ofof the tape. ststting with wolfgang amadeusus rt, 5'4", ipg e ales 127nds, thi_digy blessed th the egod and the fingerof an angel. rengths clude:e:arpsichord- shshdding arggios, thehe powderirst w w this side of f e danube, and a magil flute at contro thehehoughts s d emotionsnsf alwho heart and, let's say, shoots s sers. weaknessesesnclulu: died peeses and the emotitial gggge of a former ild star. t this fighthtsn don de, donon done beuse his opponent iss beethohon with a machetet& coming in at 5'3" and 2 pounds, this machete maestro's strengths include: inexhaustible nius, the(original r rtingbiface, andha chronic abdomimil papa that led h m m contemplate suicid so he g g g nonoing to lose.
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inherited d om his father, and is d af. ay, ariaa,ozflute, ethoven n chete.who do you think is s ng t t crea the sononof destion on ts s e? >> i am goinwith mozt. first of all-- >> stephen: mozart?? >> yes. as y y said, beethovov was df, so thisilitttt oldan wouldn't hear the fluteteomin ( laught ) top of it, on top of it, he was s fferg fromaundicic chronic patitis,s,irrhosis o the liver, inflammatory degeneraraon of the artery. >> s4sphen: : at j jt proves@s that beethoven can take th punishment and keep on coming. >> no, it sically prores, that as mododn insurance companieie would say it, evererpre-existing condition, andndn top of it, magic. i ways go with magic. who wod you go with, harry potter versus a mugggg? you always go with harry potter. >> stephen: so mozart with the magic flute. >> sphen: re'she you're wrong.
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cambridge. because the magic flututmust be heararby its vicicm,m,eethoven's's's deaf, he is immune to the powers of the flute. machete the neck, mozart t es dodo.>> here's why are yoyowrong. itis not about beethoven hearing e magic flute.. it's about a a the animama that mozart c get to o rround beetven and attackim. ( applause ) and-d)d)d-- >> stephen: strong argument. strong argument. >> therere one m/me thing that's terrlymportant, which is the magic is a dectively dangeus apon becau yanharpen it and i i apear. and did knatheherst-t-ththfjfjt t uts actually m me out the be of a be's'seg?>> stephen: sohe fst flute was made from a bear's leg?? >> yes! >> stephph: : ll, ththbeararight come back for that flute. mozart better look out. all right. >> don't forget,he flute has a laser. you said, you t a ser in the flut >> stephen: it is laser flute. >> y havlaseseand it's magic... >> thank you!
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nolive on twititr. go to @stephenathome and vote onon the questi, "who would win in a a ght, mozart wi a m mic flututoreethoven w wh a maete? you m`ke t tall! next u u a yououdy? >> m m-h. >> stephenenall ririt,t, questionont s baffled phosopoprs for centuri which is morereryfyf, thating you u t whwh a corker ows you a o of their new by, or that feelinininu get en y realize they rgot to charge you for the extra guac on your brito? laughterer) let's go t tthe tale of the tape, stararng with your woergs baby picturur tippg the scales at eight pounds, fourunce six megapilsls it seems important to themem strengths s&s&ude: seeing a baby's a arable tootessmil building intimacy with your coworker, and making cooing sods proves yoyore not deaea in. wesses include: ingi up guilt aboueith your ildldlsness s your npapanting skilil, the fa that you hardrb know this person, and the weird d ing if you say anything stronger than "cute." its opponent is not to be
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coming in at three o oces-- five y y're lucky-- this supup- condimenenfeels like your birthday and christmas tetmed up to throw y#y a surprisparty. streths inclclcl it's guacacole! and, you didn't pay for it! weaknenees include: you won't a rush like this agaifor a ng time and nothing se. arianna, wt brbrgs greater joy, office matete ospri or keep on guacac' ininin free world?d? what say you? >> hands down, t t baby. here's the thing. i gegethe-- >> stephen: nobody's on yourur side. no one. no one's on your side. >> i havavnot made my ca yet. i get the advantntes o othe freeee guacacole, b b thehehee ilt mes in.. what if th find me out? what if the poor guyuyr girl who oto charar me for the guacamole gets firid? and ththulululte fear-- whatf i end gng t thell because of tt? (laug )) >> there nothing iththbibl that sayyou'll go to hl for acamololtleft. oneneai- what if-let me ask you thth-- n nl,l, have to chime in on this onene
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commandments, that m m m dropped coming dn from the mououain. >> steteen: what about this-- what if the baby is hideous? at if not a beautiful babybybyou have to lie to the persrs, it's cute? n't a lie a sin and don't you to hell for tha here's the thg, beauty, bety, , ephen, is in t t e e of the behehde >> stephenbut t geto say if the baby is ugly.p >v i personally, i personally have never seen an ugly baby but i have seen plentytyf ugly, brown guacamole. ( chchrs and a alause )) >> stephen: you've got t tput the mojuicicin. you've got to put t e lemon juice on. >ith neilere, we e ve ience ururide. u hacienyour side? >> yestwo grads y in 2012 came out a d d dverere. th looking at baby photos and apalhotos releasesaminin a joy hormone ins. so basically, we have completely incocorortib scicitififi evence tt the by b bts the acamole! >> stephen: okay, wait secon >> i have to add something. i ve to add something.
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if you add up all t popoible ways of being human, all combmbatio of the genome that would produce auman being, tho of us we evev beenn are triflingly small fracacon of the total numbmb o&o mans who d ha evereen born. so the fact that any single huhun is ever born is basically a scientic mirirle..( >>teph: okay, t ll counter th with--- ( eersnd alausus , i wiwiwiounter that with, you didn't pay forhe guacamole! hard to beat the f fe gauc. but yoguys can hop on twititr tostephenaome and cast your voten the queseson, "which is re joyful, seeeeg a oto of a cowoerer baby or free ac on your burvjto?"& the pollwiwi clcsesesenesday atidnight eastern. so let's g g it on. we'lananunhe results next time on... >> "fridid night fights!" >> stephen: arianna huffington
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everybody. wegel be right back. breakfkft hours are sile always. ououluncncand nnen h: same. r value menus prettttttttttty y le, t o. nny's. welcome to america's diner. heh%there, can i helel you with anyththg? hey siri, what's'sat&t's latest offer?
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right now, switch at&t&fofoan i ione and get one freeee wow, ithth right? yeah, it's b bical... s.thatats the current offer from at&t. ok sirir yououon't ow evevething.welli know yousked meevto cala,you the &thostess with the m mtest. okay, shuter down. turn it ofof righnow, bvy an iphone and t anher one free w wn you add a cond line. alright, what do you think boys? could do tacos. we could do some t ti. ooo... howowbout sushi, eh? [weird dog moan/sqsqak] whnot? [dog yawning/squeaking] no, we're nono we're n naving barbecue....ain. [quiet dog gan]why?
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at's why. [dog whine] sushi it isj naat: evererday aler theorld... americic citizens go missing. it's this team's job to f f fthem... ...and bringhem home.
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( nd playing >> steenhey, welcome back, everybody. my f fstuest tonigig is s s emmy-wininng actor who stars in
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"vin." >> three bars. three bars, can tellllhey'll be filling fooooall l adiums. >> come on, richch >> whererere we withthhe good rats? eventualalyou're goingngo have to swalaow, and when you do, i want to hear some good news. >> ty... ( coughg ) theyeyent with warners. >> and you're here eating lunch? ehneeds susten, ? ha nds is to sign thenextxtood ts like i'm blee ) paying him to.
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cannavale. ( cheers and applause ) >> tt is the best band. >> stephen: aren't they y amazing band? >> t t tre ehe b bt.t. >> s sphenfirst of all, congratulations on "vil.l. i can'wait for it to startrp this is my kind of show. >> >hanknkso much, thanks. >> stephen: but, a ao, thank y so much for r2aggigigiourself here, bebeuse e understanding is you have noslept for ree, fourays, somethingngikthat? >> fr days. i'm sorry y haven't shaved. >tephen< no, it's fine. it's a ruggegelookok because you u ve a new baby. >> i had a baby on m m my, yes. ( chee andlause ) >> stephen: congratulalaons. w is the mothedoing? hois the motr doing? you know, i didn't do anythihi. >> steen: oh, i know. >> we don't do anynying, and i'm so oired. i think ve g gned 28nds since monday , , m nokidlin likeisket fit so well, like, last thursday. bui've been eatingng. >> >tephen's a a water weht. 's all water weight. you're going to se i i i whwh's the baby's name? >> rocco. stephen: rocco cannale. >> rocco c cnavale.
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>> actually,y,ou know, yeah, patron saint of the si. >> stephen: : ere's s saint rocco? yeah. >> stephenthere e , really? >> yeah.h. heheoocacacaf si people. etty sure. s sphen: yeahah >oue wrong. m tirid. >> stephen: it kind ofoundnd like the p p pn saint of prizefighterer too. >> t tally, totolly.y. or, likekemade guys, theatron saint of made guys. but, hs not-- he w w german, tually. wast ititn, this satp cco. >> stephen: and the baby is doing well? >> the baby is doing gat. >> stephen: : his your first child? >> thihiis my second child.. i have 20-ye-old son. >> sphphphoh, wowo nininirouping. >> tha&you. i just started gettingleep before this one e me, so... >en: nono tht serers "vinyl" is about sort of the gritty, kind of wild '70s music scene. >> t tt's right. >> steen: you're a proroter? no, i'm a guyho owns a record company.. >>tephen: record company, okay. >> recd d dal, a a he's owned it's 13, andndhe lel is in trouble. and he's..he doe'tant to
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him bringing this label back to prominence eitherere does that or he kills mself by doi tooooany drugs,s, orotot >> stephen: there e o drug he could do tha m me mimi bebeing than having a brbrd new baby. >> t tt's true. stephen: and d t sleeping for ur days. >> that is truru man. >> stephen: now, you did this-- martin scorsese is the producer and directct the first episode.. >> that's right. >> s sphen: what was it lili woing th scoese? o of yours0 h h ah, sgsgtely. i grew up wishing g cocod have been in those movies, and it's sort o othe ne-best thing, here i im making a show withth him, set in n s titi there, 1973. and i'm italian americ, and that's'sike-m i grewewp p tctcng de niro o those movieie and now, ynow, the guyever time, every da'd shoote'e' be like,e,i remember, bob, we wererehoing 'taxi driver'..."& and evy day wawasomething like that. it was a story about shooting "taxi driver." and-- t i kept it cool, man.
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o cool, you know? was alwaysysorried that i s taking utoo much of his timeme >> sphenreally? evevevh he's your r rectct >> but still, in between, he'd ha me co over,r,co overr here andit down and lk too ." i never r ntededo over-extend weweome. sosone dayasike-i gus i said it too o ny timeseu i saidid"l me e t you go." that's'sy thing to say "mar, let me let you go." and finally he goes, "where are you going totoetete go? i'm here, i'm shootiti a mie. where do you gotta ao? where dodydy gotot go that you can't stay here anantalklko meme phen: : d yonfess?s? > said, "i don't wa to annoy yoyo" he said,you'u' n n annoyingh . stay h he." he was just a drdbm. he just puts you i ihis pocket en you're working with h h, and he's'sery y aborative e it's just a dream come true.4^tephi untand pacinin was also aero yours. >>h. >> stephph: yod tu y uldo b be you did a pl?
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theater and i st greup, likekeheas my idol anevery ti i would gto t t eater i would d y this l ltle mantra, "al'l'comionight. al'soming tonight. 's cocing tot." >> stephen: li into a mirror fore you went on? >> no, just to myself, on the train or walking... >> stephen: to makakyourself nervous? >> to up my game, you know what i mean?? i ve to beood bebeuse al is going to be there. >> steteen: : re, sure>> and he never came, you know. ( lauguger ) thth, they sat mne to him atat the e ny awards. we were both nominated for thesameward-- w%wrd. and we were sitting next to each otker, andnd asked h h if f 'd comeo e showowanani was like, "you'rmy idol. i would love it t t ou came.e. and he was like, "i'i'comi." and came e xt wk. and we'ven gatends. we mada moe gether. i got totolay s son. and d play cards together. and it's just a tripma it's a... >> steteencan you relax ararnd him?
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can now. 's b%bn... he's juststreat. he's just a good friend. he gave me a diaper cake for the ba. ( laughter atat so sweet. steteen: i'm going to imagine that's nice. >> it was like big cakmade out diapers "for your boy!" so it was awesose. ( laughter )>> stephen: : m not sure who i want to heararore,e,our scorsese or your pacino? eah, man, i pinch h self ery day.y. it's n ns,s,s, knono >> stephen: now, you do a lot t drugs this series... >> yh. >> ; ;phen: there'a lot of cainbeing snorted. i'm gogog ssume thatat pro cocainen>> yeah. teen: what a you u ung,, ca- atatousingwhen you snorthis uff? i c useseomrighghghw,w, you know. >> steteen: uld you... wououyou lili some guacame?& because this guacamole is free, itit freguac. it'sree guac, bobby.& >> this is why i don't fit inn
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>> stetmenno, just chew, justtt chew. there's no hurur. ju relax just relat for a seconon yeah. ( lauger )) >> stephuh: well, bobby, i'm$going to let you go. ( laughter ) ( applause ) thank you u much for being re.( "vyl" " tsundaeby 14 9:00 0 n e it. we'll behtacac bobbnne, evebody here's whahawe we thinkingng whatf we did for m mtgages at the iernet d fobuyingmumuc and plane titiets and shwes? you would turn an intimidating process into an easy one. you could get a momogaga on your phone. and if it could be that easy, wouldn't more people buy homes? and wouldn't those buyers ed to fl ththr homes with lamam and blenders and sectional couchess with hand-laed wooden legs? and wouldn't that mean all sorts of wooden leg-making portunitiefowoodod lemakers?
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they couou quickly and easily secureortgages of thr ow furtr okingndemand for necessary household goodss as our tidal wave of ownwroods the countnt with n n homeownererho n st own oer things and isn't that theowerf america itlf now shrunko fif)ththhands of a chd, or, more h hpfpfly,,a ho-buying adult. anyway. that whahawe were thinng. if you could see y yr cough, 's j jt a cough. you'd see how often you cough h l day and so would everyononelsese new robitussin 12 hour deliversrsast, powerfululoughelief f f lasas to twelve h hrs new robissin 12 hoho cough relief
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get 30% % f every guest everership in the cabbbbn t hurry, this offewon' last long
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ok tay at 8080royayaararbean. ishe economy rigged? well, the 15 richest americans acquired more wealth in two years an the b btom 100 million peopleombined. i'm berndede, and i apapove this message. mylan --make wall stre bks
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ovide living wages woing pele, ensure equ pay for women. the milelesswillonnue to disappear ununss we level playing fifid. with your r lp, as president, we wl. ( nd playing ) ( cheeee and applause ) >> stephen: beautiful. welcome back, everybody. i amamampeperothe big evevt thisisunday that eveone in america willlle watching myy live sup bowpost-game show! ( cheers and applause ) and-- right there. ananas a aublic seice, i just
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have tomomrow-- saturdaywhich tomorrow is-- gveryinin you need ter super bowl partytqayay you nfed a big screen tv, comfy couches, a guy named phil, a football-shaped pretzel bowlwl ough beer to fell a horse, a a horse with a drinking prprlem. but, most portrttly,y,ou've got t have the rit snacac. and i got two words for you: chips and dip. exclamatatn point. to make sure you have your dip in a pile, we he at the "late show" ha created a helpful w-w- vidio f jim?m? chips, nature ttieses iaia, be they yell corn, blue c cn, potato, opita, theyeye as close to food as anything in yoyo supup bowl spspad. grab a sweaty handful-- wait a minute, whwhe's the dip? don't freak. we have dips to o keou flip. cheese cububthose e fofo square turn them into ahree-layer
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thick ruruerininthere's th fifit two oers, d thththird layer is the bowl. viva la rerelution! again? don't embababaurselflf thise supewl, not the pro bobo beef it up with ade-sirloin. now, there'sip tt will go deepe. in your mou! time out! you u rgowhe dip.. or did you? crunchhoseabies up io a drinking tm ststht from th bag. make sure to save one for dipping. mmm! now re back in the g g lookg for a low-fat diditernive? u already have one. just tururon the tap and let the flavor flow. mmm! soft and yielding. kenee. why not spice things up wi somemealsa? why not? because salsa'a'not a ( bleep ) dip, c c cl.l. don't ag d fn my party witit that weak ( p 1.1. snacks not in pawing distance?
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adadnd lft the dipome e u. at's your v.p.-- youmost valuable pooch. here's a trickcslay your guestswon'n'see comimi. fill the dip p wl with chips d rurua reverse. in american football, you can use your hands. have a great supupupowl. and if you don't watch footbtbl, you can stililsavovothese dips during a viewi of "the man i the irononask,k,k,arriri leonardodoicaprio, j jemy ironon and gerd depardieu as portrts. this one will ep y y gueing until the verynd.. it's the super bowl of movies. have a great regular sunday. ( chchrs and applausus ))& >> steenwebe rig back wiwi donnynyeutsch.. shopping for an suv? well, thiss the e me.. and your ford dealer is the place, to get 0% financing for 60 months on`a fofo suvuv
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are ailable with 0% financing for 60 months.s. ford suvuv designed to help yoyo be unstoppablele no wonder rd ierica's best llinbrard. but hurry, 0% financing for 60 months ononord suvs is a limited timi offer. yourordeal tod. e trade isll about seizg opportunity.y. so i'm gog to te is oppopounity to go ofscriri. if i wanna gogoo jersey and check k t t sy tuccccli'rtfoo, whwh's it to you? or i'm a scottishshas whose assese a e made of stone like me heart. papa you're nsoof mine! p phaps it't's time to seize t t day. don't just see opporwuwuty, seize it! (applausus why aryou all here? toearn, right? you can get a good job and y/u'ot working for pepeues.s. well what t i told you thth pepeuts cacawork for#sou? whe e u gugu are busy napping, peanuts are delivering 7 grars of prote anan6 essentntl nuients rit to your moh.
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no. peanuts don't t en g g casual khakakarida because peanuttake their job seousl so unlesyowant a life of skimmingngifi off ththnehb u'll harness the hararorking poof t t peanut. (cheerinin hi, i'm captn obvious. when`n heard thereas a re r prideni decidedeto run. and i'll be runng all over america. so follow me on "captainobviousrunun forpresident.com" or don't. livin a demracycy suppppteby hs.m sh kohl's....&is trsday ugnday!.."." cas2you rds memetake ra 20% o.. d ea tririripointsplpl - get kohl's caoooo rn a aedeem rewards points`s`s`kokl's throughout thetototoro anyn
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ththwod a president has to grapple with. metimes you can't even image. at's the job.. and she's e one whovovov she caget it don ..ecuring a massive reduction inuclear weapons... ...standinup against t f abu of wom... ...protecting g cial security... ...expanding benefits for the vationuard... ...and winning health care for 8 m-llion chchen...
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and ege one who'll make aa real differee e you. i'hillary clclton and i approved this message. ( ndlaying ) ( cheers and applalae ) >> stephen: welcome back, evybody. my next t est t nit is former@ chairman and c.e.e. of deutsch, c.ononof the world's leading adgegegege and is the crcrtor and star o ousa's comedy series "donny!" please welcome dwnny deutsch. ( chrs and applause ))
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>> stephen: all right, now, as s said, you're the star of "donny!," ononsasasmy network. that's "nny"y"ith an exclamation ma juju, dodoy! >> that worked well l r jeb, didn't it? stephen: : s,eses ( lalaer )w, wthe ster oeee gamfor r cades,y, o of the biggeststndt impressive firms out thehe... >> i think you used "l"lend" in thtrldldtion. >> stephen: did i really? >> letet stay with that. let's stay w wh that. >> stephok, ) u u u mythicalreature, you were a icorn of a pegasus of an ad executiviv explain to me-- wee got the super bowling this ekend, all the b b ads, evererody wants to seeeehem. how do ads work?k? like, whererare you u tttte hook in on me, ,n myhyrain, myny hearar my gut, or right t he groin? where ara you, h are you trying to get me? interestinglylyyou aim at different s, but a greatd iso differenenth a great tv sh or q greaeapiecof p ptrt. it holol up p p rror to who you are e&d ititses a brd as a value system. it sayayhiis what this bnd is about. if you likikit, vote for this brand. like you do o th a politician, like aou d dwith a mouthwa, like yououo wiwi an tertainene
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doritos, i'm buying a lifestyle. ll, this sunday, a 30-second adn the supepepewl is $5 million. how do you, , somebody who is& planning-- becse you planned a lot of super bowl l s-- hohodo make the most out ofoft? how do you youfive m m o of it? >> in n n world today, clea hao nljn 'sototuswh hap. 's, do you tease onle? you get thousds, millions of impressions? do you get talked out on shows lili this? so in order to get the bang for the buck, you have to go evevywhere, so basly i is on yoyoube,t's hehe, , 's there and all a sudden, yes, there is 100 million people watching it on thgaga, but there are 60 milln peopleatching thad. it's samamthing, how do o u get babaor a bk here also?o? we l)ve in a worldldhere t tis a smalr and allelepart of everytying w we. >>teph: i didn't realize that. that vy deessisi. laht)why did ke this gig, done? i n't undetata all right, so, let's talk about some othstamousuper bowlds o oall time.. he's one t tcame out in
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>> hello? whazzup?! >> whazzup?! >> whazzup?!?! so what's up? >> watching ththgame, havingng bud. >> true. trueue that was great. >> sphenjnso, whwh was differert about thth? why did that make susm an impact? >>8>orks for two reasons. whenenomething clisbinto the culture-- here you have anand and all of a sudden everything's gog, "what's up?" they broug it back to the brand. 's aboutuys watchihi the game, , lking on thehonene drinking a bud. yoyonot on h he to break rough and mama i ipapa of f e culture, b b you have e bring back to the brand. ananit did both of thosehings. totohis s y, you stsll can go, "whazzup?" you can, b d peopleleluld make n of you.. steteen: : , no. >> actually, you r rlly y n't. ( ughs ) >> stephen: okay, here's one-- this was f fm yoyo company, this was e most popular ad bybyar, fof^ years ago or five years ago, in 2011. this is for volkswagen.
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theme playing ) ( lahter)) ( applauses ) vtephenwill t tt@ child anything! i wod buthathild anything! nowhy,hy, tellababt thth andxpla to me, why is at ad... it's so appealalg to me? >> i think the besads,s,vertime, are simpleleuman stories that we can all retate t t wow. i love the way ty apapoach@h th kid. u bring in a piece of popolar cuure, like "star wars" but sometimemeit's so human ananso
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intetesting you talked about it. it hits you the heart. i like a aompany tt ings m an ad d d thqt. i li volkswagen. >> steen: i thought u were ing to say like a company that bringan ad like that.t. ofououe, it'y/ur c cpany.. you're out of the gaga, you're t of t ad me it's super bowl sundaythe super r@wl of ads. do you wish you wereretill in thgaga? doou have that hunger? do you utotoo ououthere and sell me some chips? >> you know, to tell you the truth, no, i likbeing a tv ar a lot more, and,having aa sitcom on usa network. it's more n thth dealing wit clients. no, i actually do ojss it. it is a grt buness, it's kind of who we are. advertising is o ohing we alal get t partitipateten, whereas we all-- >> steteen: we have no choicic >> we haha a choice.e. >> stephen: we don't get to.& thth're selling ad spa on the inside of my eye lids at this point. >> i'm not b bing yoururroduct, that's a choe. we vote artitiicallylyn the way we s s moneyey so basasallylyi like your adadi buy y ur pro-- it'not assile athatat it's thectual one art form
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sounds s ry prolific. it's just ads! it's just selling stuff. >>tephen: donnieiei'm going to let t u go. you cacee "donny!" on demand wwwsanetwork.com. donny deutsch, everybobo! wewel beight back. i'd liketotoake a de- anner:resc item. rescan, rescan. rescan ite : it happens so oen you almost get used to it. phone vomama menu presentatiti. representative. representative. ich is why being pupufirst... lala we gothis.. vo: ...takes some geg used to. join the nation.
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esere,e,ladeersomeorer the.what'sot another ble. ts is shielngng wiubrion here . the new gillette with proshield lubricion befo and afterde shields from irritation for a clfortable shaha.. the new proshield from gillette. e bebe a man can get. and one proshield refillets you to ononmonth of sves. bu rbold a bull rir pla...i tn bo d e jujus atla. .thas bo tbolder th bolifjumpile eaeang br .. ..alitscristy-cty, ..nuttergl.. .that'erboboer tholr r r b and if htstst... honene ...even en hisisother tes him not to... you'll spopo your dinner! ...that's... .bolder than bolder than bolder than lderhan bold! bolder than bold crispe, , unchety, peanututtery! butterfinger. gettg limited data youramily is a suggle. her carrie e n't fer it, or io expensive! not t-
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>>enhere nowrforming s myin s s "t"edrl" lieand ntme plseelmeharlel 'm the drir, bringing their circus to town ir o o on anth rollininout shutting g wn up all-n-nhter he s s sununses ve seeee very corn n eld and town in w wt t easas
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yeah we rock thth we roll out of town but f f now while the moments s re shihi a light, drink beer t's geloud allllheriversrsnd dams bebeevevs and singngng oh,h,on't you sing with me w? oh, oh, whoa, oh oh, oh-oh, , oh, oh i'm the dreer soaking up every line searching for truth allllhe time oh, yeah the believev that music can sa a soul
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in the front row singin' oh, easy come easy go, yeah, we rock then we roll out of town but for now while the moment is here shine a light, drink a bee et'set loud l the drers d dreamers believers and singers oh, won't you si with me now? oh, oh, whoa, oh oh, oh-oh,
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i'm the singer pouring out all that i had every love song and heart break goad and looking back wheh i was ynger sitting rig there where you are sending a prayer the ghest star and here we are oh, here we are h, easy come, easy go yeah, we rock@ then we r rout of town but for now w the m men he shine a lighrink a beer
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the drivererand dreamers elelvers and singers oh, won't you sing with now? oh, oh, w wa, oh h , ohohh, oh, oh, oh ( cheersnd applausus >> steen: his album, "the driver" is out today!

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