tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 24, 2016 10:35pm-11:37pm MST
>> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. welcome to hollywood. home of the oscars, which are right across the street. home of the walk of fame which building. home of dozens of homeless spider men who live literally on are you paying attention to the elections? how can you not? it's donald trump against all reasonable expectation -- he's now the no kidding around favorite to become the president. night. destroyed. he got more votes than marco rubio and ted cruz combined.
it's humongous. it's humiliatingly close to unanimous. trump won in every dem graphic, he won white men, white women, white rich people, white poor people. rural whites, urban whites. he got one vote from a chinese guy, which was nice. [ laughter ] latino vote. which is amazing. it's amazing, right, guillermo? >> guillermo: it's crazy. >> jimmy: i have to say it makes me wonder if people really come here from mexico for a better life? or if they come to get away from their relatives? maybe they want the wall to keep their in-laws out. [ laughter ] you would support a wall that kept your mother-in-law in another country, wouldn't you? >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: this was trump's third straight victory following wins in new hampshire and south carolina. and afterwards he spoke passionately to an enthusiastic
>> [ bleep ] make up stories! [ bleep ]! i believe we have the wrong clip. [ cheers and applause ] okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sorry. that was kanye west speaking at his church. [ laughter ] this is donald trump. >> we won the evangelicals, we won with young, we won with old, we won with highly educated, we won with poorly educated. i love the poorly educated. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, they feel the same way about you. [ laughter ] he loves the poorly educated. who says that? and they love that he loves them. in fact, the poorly educated love him so much, they made him this advertisement. >> announcer: in dangerous times, america needs a leader.
stand up to the terrorists. and secure the mexican border. we need a president who will stand up to dictators like little kim of north korea. voldemort putin of russia. and chinese president 11. donald trump believes in the constipation and will protect your rights under the second commencement. let's make america great again. donald trump. paid for by this guy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so i was -- i grew up in las vegas. i'm pretty sure i know why trump won nevada. so this is a campaign sign supporting ted cruz. this is a sign supporting marco rubio. and this is the one for donald trump. [ laughter ] so it's really hard to top. i don't care how nice your lawn is. it's not going to beat that.
distant fourth in nevada. he only got 5% of the vote. but for some reason he's still not dropping out. he's promised to continue on. he said, this is a quote, "i believe that things are starting to happen here." you know it's time to drop out when it has been weeks since donald trump even bothered to call you a moron. while trump was at his big victory party, carson was in a conference room at the embassy suites where he laid out a clear and upbeat vision for his campaign going forward. >> right now we're sort of in the ancient rome stage. where everybody wanted to go to the coliseum see a colosseum, bring on the lions and tigers and let's see them eat the people. i mean, this was cool, that's what they wanted. while rome was burning. and, you know -- right now we're in that stage, okay, but -- we have a bunch of fire extinguishers.
and we are going to put the fire in our bellies. >> jimmy: okay. wait, what? we're going to put the fire out? and in our bellies? and if we're in ancient rome, how do we get ahold of a bunch of fire extinguishers? you know, i was thinking about why he was still running today. and my first guess is he's retired and he's bored. he has $10 million in the bank. why not run? but there's another possibility. i want you to think about this. maybe he's sleep walking. you know? people do crazy things while they're sleep walking. they cook, they get in their car and drive, they climb out windows. maybe ben carson is running for president in his sleep. all the signs are there. his eyes are half shut. he barely speaks above a whisper. most of what he says makes little to no sense. i really think he could be sleeping. put him in pajamas, you wouldn't know the difference. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: someone needs to lead him gently back to bed is what needs to happen. here's a guy who could help ben carson get his energy up. new england patriots rob gronkowski. in case you've been worrying about whether or not rob has been enjoying his offseason, he's been cruising the bahamas with 2,500 of his biggest fans on the gronk party ship. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you might hate him but 85 you've got to love him. how would he have celebrated if his team had won? facebook has new features to lead us farther away from real human interaction. facebook today rolled out a new thing called reactions. they tested this in ireland and in spain.
because it's now available everywhere. and here they are. there's like, which we had. there's love. there's ha ha. there's wow. there's sad. and there's enough with the baby photos already. now instead of liking when a friend's dog passes away, which is weird. you can be much more thoughtful and sensitive posting a sad emoji with a giant tear squirting out of its face. soon all languages of the world will be boile down to two symbols, a smiley face and a poop. on that day we will have peace. yeah. facebook launched another new feature this week. it's a birthday cam that lets you record a 15-second video wish someone a happy birthday, a video version of voice mail and who doesn't love voice mail. now instead of getting birthday messages from people you don't know you'll also get birthday videos from people you don't know. i barely have the energy to type
video. facebook's always coming up with new and exciting ways to let strangers bother us. if this birthday cam proves to be a success, another video feature might be their most popular upgrade yet. >> birthday cam created a new way to send friends a nice message on their special day. now another service that lets you send your facebook friends a new kind of message. >> happy birthday, bud day. >> hey, what's up? who the [ bleep ] are you? >> the facebook who the [ bleep ] are you cam. this new app allows you to go to your friends list, select names, then send a short video message asking who the [ bleep ] they are. >> did we go to camp together? hot [ bleep ] are you? i notice you live in bull fair yeah who the [ bleep ] are you? i understand you ran a marathon, who the [ bleep ] are you? and why are you asking me to play games? your profile picture is a baby, are you a baby? who the [ bleep ] are you? who the [ bleep ] are you?
because when you have thousands of friends, you should probably know who the [ bleep ] they are. >> wait. are you? >> announcer: didn't we meet at cynthia's party? >> announcer: who the [ bleep ] are you? you? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] break. when we come back a guy from england for reasons unknown did something funny, he threw eggs -- one egg every day at his mother for a year. >> no! no! oh! >> jimmy: there are a lot more. and it gets much funnier from there. we tracked the guy down. his name is jamie. when we come back we'll chat with jamie and his mom live from london. stick around, we'll be right back.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back to the show. gordon ramsay, jurnee smollett-bell, music from wolfmother is on the way. i love a good prank. i love it when it involves a family member. so i mentioned before the break there's a guy in england who came up with a unique way to mess with his mom. for a year he recorded himself tossing an egg to/at her. he'd do it when she least expected it, chuck an egg. he recorded it and posted the video for all the world to >> oh no! no! ahh!
oh! no! oh [ bleep ]! no! oh! no! oh! no! no! no! no! oh [ bleep ]! every [ bleep ]ing day. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: pretty good. we went to great lengths to find this kid. we searched the world. we located him in london enjoying us on our big cisco screen. say hello to jamie keith and his mom carol. hello, jamie and carol. how are you? >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you for joining us. what time is it there right now? >> 20 past 1:00.
breakfast, get the eggs ready, i guess. >> yeah, early. >> jimmy: what inspired you to throw eggs at your mother? >> god. i think -- well, i guess when we were growing up. we lived in back country, you might destroy it and that would be half developed. we can't always have that way of life, just make it easier -- >> jimmy: i know we both speak english but i didn't understand one word of that. when you did this the first time did you know you were going to do it over and over again? >> no, i didn't. but i did enjoy the reaction first time, so from there i thought it could be something that would be worth developing. >> i see. >> continuing. >> and carol, what happens when you see the egg in the air? because you have very, very good reflexes. does time slow down? like "the matrix"? you seem to catch a lot of the eggs.
practice over the years. and i'm quite lazy. so if someone's passing the fridge i'm very tempted to throw the butter and say, could you pop it in the fridge? to be honest the eggs was was a whole new league. it was so irritating. so irritating. >> jimmy: have you ever thought about screaming anything other than "no" every single time an egg is coming at you? >> yeah, worse. >> jimmy: jimmy, have you ever considered throwing bacon at your mother to even things out? >> i think the burns if it lands on skin could be a bit irritating. for hygiene reasons we'll stick with eggs. >> you do have some kind of a conshouldn't. carol, do you blame yourself for this? do you blame yourself since you did raise this monster? >> yeah. yeah, i do. i take full blame in that -- i grew up in a house with three brothers so what you did was you
and literally toss the plates or cups or glasses to whoever was standing nearest the cupboard. >> jimmy: you've got a bunch of tossers in the family is what you have. >> complete tossers. and i seemed to have created my own. >> jimmy: yeah, you definitely did create your own. you know, easter is coming up in a couple of months. do you have anything special planned? >> yeah, big-time with all those eggs. >> heavy footage being captured that month. >> jimmy: well, i thought the video was very, very funny. i enjoyed it immensely. jamie, thanks for taping it. i know carol was probably annoyed but i will say it gave us all a good laugh. did you catch it? >> yes! >> just about. >> jimmy: she caught it again. unbelievable. jamie and carol, thank you guys very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: cheerio! all right.
sunday night. and after the oscars we have our 11th annual "after the oscars" special. we've been working on a project we hope will get recognized by the academy. so far it hasn't. i've been developing family-friendly versus of r-rated movies. so tonight we took the audio from the quentin tarantino "the hateful 8" and combined it with a scene from a looney tunes cartoon. this is what happens when sam jackson meets yosemite sam. >> if you lying then you killed minnie. >> so. you intend to murder me based on a far-fetched theory? can you prove it? >> how long you say you been working for me? >> for months. >> if you'd have been here two and a half years ago you'd know about that sign used to hang up over the bar. you want to know what that sign said, senor? no dogs or mexicans allowed. you know why she took it down?
>> she started letting in dogs. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show we have music from wolfmother. jurnee smollett-bell is here. and we'll be right back with gordon ramsay. so stick around! >> dicky: portions of " jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by la-la yogurt smoothies. yogurting. practice it on the go. 't make this stuff up. four bandits chose a prius as their getaway car. bravo-niner, in pursuit of a toyota prius. over. how hard is it to catch a prius? over. this thing is actually pretty fast. over. very funny. oh look, a farmer's market. we should get some flowers for the car. yeah! holly! toyota. let's go places. shop kohl's... this thursday through monday!...
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>> jimmy: hi, welcome back. tonight, from the new show " underground," jurnee smollett-bell is here. then they are in the middle of a tour of the united states. this is their album. it's called " victorious," wolfmother from the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night, kelly ripa is in town. for the oscars. she will be here tomorrow. from " how to get away with murder" billy brown is here. we'll have music from tinashe and snakehips featuring chance the rapper and a new edition o "mean tweets." and sunday night, the oscars here on abc. my tux comes out of storage for our 11th annual jimmy kimmel live after the oscars show." it's our biggest show of the year. this time around with ben affleck, chris rock,
mike tyson, matthew broderick, jesse eisenberg, and surprises galore. that's sunday night, please join us for that. our first guest tonight is a very talented and volatile he should not be working with season 15 of his show " kitchen" airs wednesday nights on fox. please say hello to gordon ramsay! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look well. >> thank you, good to see you. >> jimmy: you still have a crushing handshake, a handshake that is designed to humiliate other men, yes? >> it's to send a very stern message. a warm welcome, don't [ bleep ] with me. >> jimmy: let me ask you, why is it -- i was thinking about this today. i think this confuses me.
yell at people who work for you in a restaurant -- i'm not speaking about you specifically. i'm talking about in general. why is it accepted in that workplace and not accepted at, say, the mall? >> first of all, [ bleep ], right? from 6:30 to 11:30 at night it's pandemonium pandemonium. you've got to get that message across. fully booked, immense pressure. i think it's that level of camaraderie, banter, communication. and then you need some donkey to throw the spanner in the works and the whole thing goes tits-up. not good. you're right, it's the energy in the kitchen, you can feel it, right? >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> you think, wow, what's going on in there? i want to get in there. >> jimmy: no, i want to stay out of there if you're in there. are you able to at a nice restaurant, michelin star restaurant, able to joke around? is that allowed? >> sometimes. with your boys behind the
paris when i started working at an amazing place. you come in say hello, bang, next minute you're peeling shallots. you get behind the line, you get this big, beautiful, white french hat. i don't know what it is with the french, big, white hats. >> jimmy: maybe they're short? hat on? >> or elsewhere. [ laughter ] . >> i was excited about keeping this hat clean. wednesday night, middle of service. one of these french [ bleep ] comes along, literally dropped an egg on top of my hat. i'm standing there cook recognize are i could feel all this [ bleep ] -- >> jimmy: cracked it into your hat? >> i was so pissed off. my job the next three days was to sling pigeons. both fingers into the back side, pull out the hearts and livers. they're delicious, come on. i stored these things. i stored them outside.
i thought, right, you little bastard. >> jimmy: the layings? >> no, the livers and the hearts. head. you could see this french guy's face like frothing. >> jimmy: did he ever mess with you again? >> no, no, he left a week later. >> jimmy: he did. you drove him out of tooking altogether. his kids haven't had a meal in who knows how many years. how are your kids doing? >> great. expensive. >> jimmy: yeah, they are. yeah, kids are expensive. how old are your children? >> no one told you how expensive they were going to did be. 17, twins are 16, matilda's 14. >> jimmy: the danger zone there. or are they in the danger zone with you as a dad? do you embarrass them? >> they are, and any guy that comes within 500 meters of them. >> jimmy: oh, right. >> oldest started driving. as you, do i couldn't wait to get out in the car, go crazy.
i got the lessons. then i did something bad. i feel bad. >> jimmy: i'm sure. >> because you have a first lesson. she came into the house. he was going through the manuals. i sneaked into the car. >> jimmy: into the back seat? >> into the back seat. this tiny [ bleep ] car. i sneaked and got down. got my son to lock me in. meg came out 25 minutes later. sat in. indicators, mirror, left, right, horn, et cetera. and then, right, megan, start the car, we're about to go. she said, no, i want to pull my seat back. crushed me right in the nuts. >> jimmy: was she driving a car or a karma? [ applause ] >> she got really upset. that she hurt you? >> no. upset that i was in there. >> jimmy: oh, right. >> i was just trying to give some back-seat advice. didn't go too well. don't know. >> jimmy: probably not a good
learning to drive to scare her from the back seat. they say startling people while they're driving is a safety violation. >> i wanted to help her. speed this lesson license up. she's got the car, she hasn't passed the test. meg, come on you're nearly 18. the car's getting dust on it. >> jimmy: give her time. you don't want her out going crazy. >> she said, dad, chill, relax your sack, i'll get an uber. >> jimmy: seriously? >> that's right. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: don't back seat the uber. >> then the boyfriends. >> how many boyfriends come around? >> well, not many. >> jimmy: not many, yeah. >> they don't come up to the house. i think -- 17's a tough age. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you're sort of getting used to the sort of things happening and growing and kissing, et cetera. i say to jack, he's my son, look, mate, there's 100 a week, keep me updated, photos online and et cetera -- >> jimmy: you're teaching jack
$100 a week, i'll stalk your daughter for $100 a week. >> i'm over the conversation. i said to meg, look, you're our first princess. the earlier you tell me the more i can do about it. what do you mean, dad? log this in your mind. >> jimmy: you're our oldest princess and jack is our youngest little rat. >> there was a shot, skiing in germany on half term. jack said, good news, they're in a nightclub. i said, there's two girls and two guys. who's that big -- i sent a message to megan. meg, who's the big german giraffe with the bent nose with his hand around you? she said, daddy, it's a friend of mine. a friend? tell him when he wants his nose straight i'll [ bleep ] do it for him. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you should definitely not have children. gordan ramsay is here. we'll take a break, be right
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>> jimmy: we're back. still to come, jurnee wolfmother. this is your 15th season of unbelievable. >> incredible. i just wish they could [ bleep ] cook. >> jimmy: are there any good cooks left? or just people showing up who like to be abused? >> there are some good -- when you get down to the top ten, top five, it goes up a level. $250,000 prize. an amazing job this year. i want them to become good. they freeze in the middle of service. >> jimmy: what separates a good cook from a great cook? you see so many people who work in a kitchen, they chop things, make things, they taste great. what is it? what separates a guy like you from a guy that maybe we've never heard of? >> i think that level of vision
stop, also i have a different method, i teach them how to taste before i teach them to cook. if you don't know what it tastes like you should not be cooking it. our 15th year and 14 of those years have been three michelin stars so we can't get any higher. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm glad you mentioned taste. i learned something about you. all the time you spend here in the united states, you've never tasted girl scout cookies. >> i don't think of amazing cookies with girl scouts. >> jimmy: this is almost sacred territory you're entering. >> okay. >> jimmy: there's the american flag and there's willie nelson and then we have girl scout cookies. [ cheers and applause ] those are the things we care about. okay? i don't want to get you run out of the country. but these are girl scout cookies. girl scouts, you know what the girl scouts are. >> like the guides. >> jimmy: no, they're little girls. they sell them outside the supermarket. i'm surprised you haven't seen
they're everywhere. these are three kinds. if you want to just go ahead and take -- this is the tag-alongs. >> visually they look like dog business kits. >> jimmy: visually they do look like dog biscuits, yes. >> yeah, they're okay. >> jimmy: that's a tag-along. it's got like peanut butner there or something. >> the name? tag-along? >> jimmy: indian word, it means "dog business kit." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is the samoa. it's got a coconutty thing -- here's milk in case you want some. >> thank you. >> jimmy: guillermo always has a glass of milk handy. he's logic actating so it's natural. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> are they always this small? >> jimmy: they're always that small. i feel they were bigger. maybe i was smaller when it started out. >> that's a bit weird. >> jimmy: i don't like those, those aren't my favorite. these are my favorite. you need mill income. >> yes.
these are my favorite. these are the thin mints. now whale t i will do is put these in a freezer, then pull out a sleeve and eat all of them in one sitting. >> that's like a cheap after >> jimmy: so you like -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well. gordon ramsay's visa just expired. the final season of "hell's kitchen" airs wednesday nights at 9:00 on fox. gordan ram day, everybody! be right back with jurnee smollett-bell. is is shaving. a blade. many blades. sharp blades. blades here, blades there. some more over there... whoa! that's not another blade. this is shielding. with lubrication here and here. the new gillette with proshield lubrication before and after the blades shields from irritation for a close, comfortable shave.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there, we are back. we still have music to come from wolfmother. our next guest's acting career began at age four with a recurring role on "full house." she was the third olsen twin. you can see her next in the " underground," it premieres march 9th at 10:00 on wgn america. please welcome jurnee
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm going to say off the bat, you seem so much sure. >> i have to say gordon ramsay cooking idol. my brother's a chef. he came backstage and he was >> jimmy: well, you don't want to get to know him too well. >> really? >> jimmy: well, he's mean, yeah. >> oh. >> jimmy: he spit girl scout cookies all over the floor what kind of a monster does that? >> that guy, come on what's the matter? >> jimmy: your first in my opinion is jurnee. correct? >> yeah, it's like if my name wasn't weird enough my parents had to spell it differently. >> jimmy: that has to be a pain. >> it is. people want to pronounce it jur-nay. >> jimmy: like rene. >> no. >> jimmy: rur-nay.
>> jodo, jazz, jesse, jurnee, jake -- >> jimmy: my parents are like that too. my parents are joan and jim -- >> there's more strange parents that do the "j" thing? >> jimmy: not to the extent of jurnee but yes. my sister's jill, my brother's jonathan. it does form a bond in the family when you have the same -- you know. did they expect you to marry a guy who's got a "j" in his name? >> my husband's name is josiah. >> jimmy: there you go. [ applause ] that's great for the towels and everything, monograms. >> it's great, we've just got to buy a "jb." >> jimmy: very nice. how long have you been married? >> five and a half years. >> jimmy: when you were a little girl you were on "full house." we got a picture. >> oh my gosh. >> jimmy: there you are. [ cheers and applause ] do you know which of the olsen twins?
this show? >> i was on until i was like 6. then i was offered a spinoff. and my mom said no. >> jimmy: i had such a crush on her, you remember her? [ laughter ] your mom said no to the spinoff? >> yeah she was tired. all my siblings were working, all six of us. >> jimmy: as actors? >> yeah, five of us were. she was like, i'm not doing another television show until all of them are on the same show. so the producers of "full house" were like, there's more? bring them all in. >> jimmy: oh, you guys -- what was the name of this though? >> it was on abc. it was called "on our own." >> jimmy: wow. >> we went into -- >> jimmy: these are your real brothers and sisters? >> except for him. >> jimmy: yeah. okay. wow, that's crazy. wow. that's convenient for mom, first of all. but was that fun for you to be on with your brothers and sisters? >> it was so much fun. it was criminal they even gave us a show.
>> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, so my mom used to always play public enemy in the house. we were huge public enemy fans. >> jimmy: what? >> i was flavor flav. >> jimmy: wait, how old are you? >> 7. i had a big clock hanging around my neck, i'd swing it. all i had to do is chime in and be like, yeah, boys! >> jimmy: being an adult what songs would you do? >> when we met with abc, like these amazing executives at abc had us come in to try to decide and we performed "shut 'em down" by public enemy. >> jimmy: do you remember any of that song? >> the first -- yeah. i remember it. >> how did it go? i testified my mama cried black people died when the other man lied [ cheers and applause ] >> ladies and gentlemen, that's why i'm not a rapper.
come in and be flavor flav. >> jimmy: wow. that's really weird. that's very, very strange. by the way, i watched your new show, i thought it was really good, i enjoyed watching it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's very different. >> it's not what you would expect. >> jimmy: not at all. especially the opening scene. where there's like rap music. >> kanye west yeah. it opens with kanye's "black skinhead." >> jimmy: i never want to ruin what people are going to see. >> i just gave it away? >> jimmy: can you describe your character? >> "underground" is about the underground railroad, the first civil rights movement. >> jimmy: imagine that with kanye west -- >> rosalie has never been off the plantation and is forced to not? family behind? and really, you know, the it's audacious. it's shocking. and it's really what you wouldn't expect.
>> but we have so many amazing people. john legend is a producer on the show. and curated the music. so he chose -- >> jimmy: he did a good job. i wor boy worred watching it, what is it like when most of the african-american actors are slaves on the show, and most of the white actors are slave owners, and a lot of them are pretty bad? what's it like at lunch? is it weird? >> honestly, i have to say -- like the actors who had to do like the really bad things, they were the sweetest to us. i bet they were! i would be too! >> oh, yeah, they were. no, like p.j. who plays bill, he's one of the slave drivers on the plantation -- >> jimmy: he's terrible. >> he does awful things to me. and he was like my best friend >> jimmy: it's called [ laughter ] >> you think so?
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, apple versus the fbi. it is an abc news exclusive. one on one with company ceo tim cook. why he is refusing to comply with a federal demand to unlock the iphone of one of the san bernardino killers. >> this case is not about one phone. this case is about the future. >> how it feels to be in the eye of the storm in a fierce national debate over security versus privacy. >> it's not just about privacy, it's also about public safety. >> and what he has to say about donald trump's call to boycott apple.