tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC April 29, 2021 11:34pm-12:36am PDT
it's tiny! the resident of japan, owner and car hobbyist realized the truck is so short, it fits in a tiny san francisco garage. it has a quirky loud speaker but that's just a bonus. >> why wouldn't you buy a japanese fire truck if you could? it makes a lot of sense as a city car. it is fun to drive around town and it makes people smile. >> it does. it is 30 years old. it was sold when it became obsolete. it can still fight fires, though, but you have to be near a pond because you have to use the pond as the water source. it's really cute. that will do it for us. the next newscast will be tomorrow at 4:30. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -
michael b. jordan, nate bargatze, musical guest coi leray, and featuring the legendary roots crew >> questlove: 1452 >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. come on now! that feels so good hi, welcome. please have a seat welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome, to "the tonight show. you're here. >> steve: oh [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: you're watching. thank you very much. let's get to some news
well guys, last night was president biden's first address to congress and over 12 million people tuned in to watch yep. as soon as the academy heard, biden was immediately asked to host next year's oscars. [ laughter ] and get this 85% of people who watched biden's speech approved of it. that's amazing the only other things americans like that much are dolly parton and cheese fries [ laughter ] of course, because of covid, the crowd was pretty spread out. normally 1,600 people attend but only 200 could be there. so here's what the room looked like yeah [ laughter ] biden looks like he's up there calling a game of bingo. [ laughter ] that has to be a tough gig for the president. right before biden walked out, his staff was like, "umm, sir, the house is only 12% full and half of the crowd hates you. go get 'em go get 'em, buddy.
[ laughter ] that's right yeah, nobody in that chamber was working harder than biden except for chuck schumer's ears [ audience oohs [ laughter ] >> steve: ouch >> jimmy: ouch ouch the entire speech, that ear was thinking, "wrap it up, joe wrap it up, buddy! [ laughter ] stress ear this was cool. before he started his speech, biden pointed out that history was being made check it out >> madame speaker. madame vice president. [ cheers and applause no president has ever said those words from this podium no president has ever said those words. and it's about time. >> jimmy: yeah [ cheers and applause that was cool. that's better than last year when trump thanked "madame speaker" and "madame tussauds. [ laughter ] but this is a big week for biden. 'cause today is his 100th day in office. yeah [ cheers and applause it makes sense that presidents are judged after 100 days. around three months into any relationship is when you think,
"this is great," or "how do i get out of this? [ laughter ] i can't do it. then it's the holidays then there's valentine's day, and then march earliest? that's right today was biden's 100th day in office it feels like it's gone by so fast >> steve: oh, i know so fast. i guess time flies when there's not a scandal every day. >> tariq: yeah, yeah, it's refreshing and i've been sleeping great >> jimmy: same i guess i'm just feeling hopeful. >> steve: yeah this is gonna be the best week ever ♪ 'cause i'm hopefu yes i am hopeful for today ♪ ♪ take this music and use it let it take you away ♪ [ cheers and applause >> tariq: yeah, man. yo, i'm feeling hopeful, too i'm going to run a 5k. ♪ 'cause i'm hopefu yes i am hopeful for today ♪ ♪ take this music and use it let it take you away ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: i'm going to meditate every morning so that i can be mindful and feel this centered every day.
♪ 'cause i'm hopefu yes i am hopeful for today ♪ ♪ take this music and use it let it take you away ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: it's so nice to feel hopeful again. >> tariq: so good. so good. >> jimmy: some sports news everybody is talking about this right now. the nfl draft kicked off tonight. [ cheers and applause that's right the nfl said since commissioner roger goodell is fully vaccinated, he could hug the players. i guess that was fine. it was the soft kiss on the forehead that was a little weird. [ laughter ] of course, the new york jets this is exciting this morning, new york city mayor bill de blasio made a big announcement take a look at this. >> our plan is to fully reopen new york city on july 1st. we are ready for stores to open, for businesses to open, offices, theaters, full strength >> jimmy: yeah >> steve: oh [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: on july 1st, even your grandma's gonna be like, "i'm off to the club." [ laughter ]
yeah, most people were thrilled, while new yorkers who love working from home were like, "freakin de blasio." [ laughter ] some more news for new yorkers i saw that after three years of construction, legoland new york is finally opening this summer [ applause ] yeah unfortunately, today some jerk older brother kicked over all the rides. >> steve: oh [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i can't wait for the park to open actually. there's an extra thrill when you realize that you're on a a roller coaster made of legos [ laughter ] listen to this researchers at dartmouth university found that gossip can actually be good for you the study was conducted by professor ira kirsch, who i'm pretty sure had some work done [ laughter ] and finally, a shopper in the u.k. got a surprise when they returned home with a plant from ikea and found a gecko lizard inside. now how annoyed is that gecko? it had the run of the entire ikea now it lives in a one bedroom apartment. [ laughter ]
even weirder, the other plant had flo from progressive living in it. [ laughter ] we have a great show give it up for the roots, ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: what a show we have for you tonight. he produced and stars in the new movie "without remorse" on amazon prime video michael b. jordan is here. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause come on. >> jimmy: plus his new netflix stand-up special, "the greatest average american" is available now. the very funny nate bargatze is here [ cheers and applause >> steve: funny. so funny >> jimmy: he's fantastic and we got great music from coi leray, everybody >> steve: oh [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: tariq, you thinking about what you're gonna barbecue >> tariq: i've already thought about it, figured it out yeah >> jimmy: we're having a a barbecue off
>> tariq: yep. >> steve: really, when >> jimmy: when is it, do we know last week in may so we got a little time. >> tariq: yeah >> jimmy: yeah >> tariq: you might need a a little more time, bud. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you figured it out already. do we know exactly what we're doing? we could choose anything >> tariq: i mean, i guess, yeah >> jimmy: it's not hamburgers, hotdogs. >> tariq: i mean, if that's what you want to make. that's gonna be your submission, then by all means, yes. [ laughter ] yes, hamburgers and hotdogs. >> jimmy: i feel like you're doing reverse psychology it's pretty overt. you say like, "yeah, yeah, sure if that's what you're gonna make." you're getting angry already >> tariq: angry? what are you talking about [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah i think he's getting angry >> tariq: i don't drop my cool >> steve: it's your reverse psychology >> jimmy: no, dude, here's the thing. i'm already playing the game i'm in your head, buddy. >> tariq: okay >> jimmy: yeah so me just saying that already tripped you up >> tariq: wow. >> jimmy: so now you're going to make angry chicken. >> tariq: okay [ laughter ] i see what you're doing there. >> jimmy: wait are you going to do a -- you gonna do ribs? >> tariq: am i gonna go ribs no >> jimmy: i'm might do like
a pork butt. >> steve: corn butt? >> jimmy: no, pork butt. >> tariq: pork butt, yeah please >> jimmy: play corn. >> tariq: yes. >> steve: pork butt. >> jimmy: pork butt. >> tariq: yeah go pork butt >> jimmy: you're going pork butt >> tariq: no not at all >> steve: he wants you to go pork butt. uh-oh! wait a second. [ talking over each other >> tariq: who is in whose head [ laughter ] >> steve: you just signed a lease. >> jimmy: i'm trying to think like my side -- side's got to be beans, right? >> steve: and coleslaw >> tariq: i knew you were gonna do beans beans and coleslaw, yes. [ laughter ] >> steve: wait a second. wait a second. how about souffle and cherries jubilee? >> jimmy: yeah yeah 'cause tariq always goes a a little fancy i know he's spatchcocked >> steve: hey, come on it's a family show [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no spatchcocking is a - >> tariq: yeah, i've been known to butterfly my poultry. >> jimmy: yeah >> steve: hey, come on >> jimmy: that's what i -- no, that's not - >> tariq: it's how you more evenly distribute the heat >> jimmy: yeah
>> steve: oh, come on. >> jimmy: i know yeah that's what i'm saying so yeah. you were probably going to do that but now you're not gonna do that 'cause i said it >> tariq: i mean, yeah, who knows what i'm -- who said i'm making poultry didn't you get the memo? it's a barbecue. [ laughter ] ♪ >> steve: wow! >> questlove: and scene. >> jimmy: i can't wait for the end of may, barbecue-off >> tariq: yeah >> jimmy: it's gonna go down i gotta think of my recipe >> tariq: i'm looking forward to it. >> jimmy: yeah, me too i'm looking -- me too. [ laughter ] >> questlove: wait, are you making it for all of us or just you? >> steve: yeah, do we get to taste it >> jimmy: higgins is - higgins -- >> questlove: wait, just higgins? >> jimmy: yeah >> steve: quest and i, together we can judge together. >> questlove: wait, what are we, chopped liver? >> tariq: no, here's the thing though - >> jimmy: we need three. >> tariq: yeah we -- >> jimmy: gotta have an odd number of judges >> tariq: we need someone -- we need a judge who also doesn't work for you [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] >> steve: oh, snap >> jimmy: that's true. >> tariq: yeah >> jimmy: so maybe higgins, quest, and maybe we get someone from the audience. [ cheers and applause random person from the audience >> steve: who happens to be a p.a. or your gardener. yeah
>> jimmy: right, right >> steve: my security guard, jasper >> tariq: i don't know, man. 'cause i think you might have a plant in the audience. why don't we get like someone from "today show" or something >> questlove: or "snl. >> tariq: yeah, well, i don't know "snl" might be gone already for -- >> jimmy: no, "snl's" here don't worry about it >> tariq: oh, okay, cool well, yeah we'll do -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: definitely, let's get someone from "snl. >> tariq: yeah, no, no [ laughter ] yeah, why don't we get talib kweli? [ laughter ] why don't we get common? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we'll think of a -- yeah an impartial judge and we'll figure this out. but it's going down. i'm ready. i'm already in your head i know where you're going. don't worry about it >> tariq: cool, cool [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, today marks the 100th day of joe biden as president, so i thought it would be a good time for everyone to brush up on who all the key government employees in his presidency are it is time for "fast stats here we go [ cheers and applause ♪ fast stat fast stats ♪ ♪ >> steve: wow! that's fast. >> jimmy: first we have tom cotton
position senator from arkansas hobby, continues swallowing a gumball he ate in 2004 [ laughter ] next, it's bill nelson position, administrator of nasa for halloween he dresses like a jack-o-lantern that has been out too long [ laughter and applause next, it's lauren boebert. position, representative from colorado fun fact, still trying to make "fetch" happen [ laughter ] next up, dr. fauci position, chief medical advisor to biden looking forward to, retiring at the age of 126 [ laughter ] then it's james lankford position, senator from oklahoma unwinds by, going to a blood bank and saying, "take it all. [ laughter ] next up, cynthia lummis. position, senator from wyoming known around the office for saying, "i'm being so bad while eating a fiber one bar." [ laughter ] then, it's david turk. position, deputy secretary of energy dream job, spokesman for water >> steve: whoa [ laughter ] >> jimmy: then, it's jake sullivan. position, national security advisor.
catch phrase, "oh, gee wiz, fellas i don't like the look of this. [ laughter ] next, marsha blackburn position, senator from tennessee. future job, that one co-host of "the view" you've never heard of before. [ laughter ] then, we have gary gensler position, chair of the s.e.c favorite part of the day, when mommy eagle stops by with fresh worms. [ laughter ] that' just - >> steve: oh oh snap >> jimmy: next, it's samantha power position, head of u.s. agency for international development. unique skill, looking like she just heard from the principal what her kids have been up to. [ laughter ] then, it's mike braun. position, senator from indiana favorite thing to say when he's having a good time, "i am having a good time." [ laughter ] and finally, we have rick scott position, senator from florida favorite food, human food. [ laughter and applause this has been "fast stats. we'll be right back with "tonight show" hashtags. come on back [ cheers and applause ♪
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>> jimmy: now we do this thing every week where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to respond to that topic so since "the bachelorette" season 17 was just announced, i sent out the hashtag "why i'm single." and i asked you guys to tweet out a funny, weird or embarrassing reason you're single within minutes, it was a a trending topic, so thank you for playing along. i appreciate it. [ applause ] now i thought i'd share some of my favorites "why i'm single" responses from you guys. this first one is from @freak00music. >> steve: 00 >> jimmy: they say, "i was on my lunch break with one of my colleagues who i had a crush on in the middle of our conversation, he raised his hand and i went in for a high five it turns out he was just waving to his friend who had walked into the room. [ applause ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: this one is from @gilliannot123 she says, "my date pronounced the l in salmon. and i said out loud, 'well, you're not the one.' [ laughter and applause
"a salmon for one, please. >> steve: okay, i'm done >> jimmy: all right. this one is from @caitlincarrickm she says, "i'm single because i get mad at people in real life for things they did in my dreams." [ laughter and applause yeah >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: i like that. this one is from @marisarosie22 she says, "i tried flirting with a guy by saying his smile is great he says he gets it from his mom. i replied, "your mom must be hot then." [ applause ] that's not good. that's not good. >> steve: i'm mad at you for my dreams still >> jimmy: this one's from @jakewilliamsart he says, "i think doritos are too sharp, so i bite off all the corners first before i eat them i call them rounditos. [ laughter and applause >> steve: rounditos? >> tariq: i do the same thing. >> steve: you do the same thing? >> tariq: yeah, yeah >> jimmy: they're not called
doritos because they're a triangle >> tariq: they're not called doritos. they're called do-ritos. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: do-ritos >> tariq: do-ritos >> jimmy: they're not called do-ritos >> tariq: ye can make a tiny door out of them >> jimmy: i say it like doritos. like, d-u-r. >> steve: you say da-ritos >> tariq: yeah no i say, i say doritos. >> jimmy: do-ritos >> steve: maybe that will be your side dish >> jimmy: i think you're putting too much work into that >> tariq: hey, just a little emphasis, man. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: we call them doritos [ laughter ] [ applause ] there you go >> steve: wow! for the win. >> jimmy: interesting. >> tariq: right. >> steve: wow! this one's from @joai meanj1 she says, "the last time i had a guy over, i showed him my sculptures i made from red mini babybel cheese wax he didn't come over again. [ laughter and applause you know that little - i like that. >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: you know, i know these are like - >> steve: it's not wasting >> jimmy: i know that these are
like "why you're single," but it also shows why you're interesting. [ laughter ] i think it would be fun if we maybe had a little love connection from one of these >> steve: oh, nice >> jimmy: these are all single people, apparently [ laughter ] >> steve: apparently >> jimmy: maybe they're dating now, this was back when they were single. this one is from @cyndianaj. she says, "i'm single because i take my super hero action figures to the theater for marvel and dc movies so they can watch themselves on the big screen." [ applause ] come on! >> steve: come on. "there you go. that's you." >> jimmy: "there you go, look at you." >> steve: "look how big you are. [ laughter ] ooh, you just punched him! >> jimmy: this one is from @kamie92643518 she says, "my ex and i did laundry together and we broke up because he couldn't admit that my way of folding towels and sheets was the correct way. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: salmon [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah
>> tariq: that's rough >> jimmy: there's still no way to fold a fitted sheet it's just impossible >> steve: no, i throw them away [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm not saying you do that >> steve: do them once and then when i'm done, i throw them away, yeah i don't want to bother with that garbage [ laughter ] life's too short, my man [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one is from @barbrastreilamb >> steve: oh, nice, nice barbra streilamb >> jimmy: yeah for a second, you were like, what >> steve: what, barbra streisand >> jimmy: barbra streilamb >> steve: straylamb. >> jimmy: i like barbra streilamb >> steve: huge fan >> jimmy: she says, "i have various pillows with actors faces on them. my favorite two are of danny devito sent a picture there she is >> steve: aww. [ cheers and applause johnny depp. >> jimmy: and johnny depp behind her yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. this last one is from @interludej. that was tariq's first rap name [ light laughter ] he says, "i prefer to eat spaghetti-os cold right out of the can. >> steve: oh >> jimmy: yeah [ applause ]
there you have it. those are "tonight show hashtags." to check out more of our favorites go to tonightshow.com/hashtags we'll be right back with michael b. jordan. interludej [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪♪♪ when it comes to celebrating all the moms in your life... you can't go wrong with a gift from the heart. get 20% off mother's day gifts she'll love and kohl's cash.
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come on, bud it's always great to see you, buddy. welcome back to the show >> thanks for having me, man thanks for having me how's everybody doing? [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: everyone's doing good we got a crowd we have a crowd. we have people back in the studio it's awesome >> i love it love it. >> jimmy: pal, i want to ask you. cause the last time since you've been on this show, you were on the cover of a magazine that was pretty epic here it is right here. the cover of "people." you're the sexiest man alive [ cheers and applause now i want to know - i want to know how has your life changed since being named sexiest man alive. >> i mean, it's a gift and a a curse, you know. people don't tell you that you instantly have a target on your back i mean, all my boys in every group chat, just imagine, they're just constantly roasting me. >> jimmy: yeah [ laughter ] >> and it's like everything i do is like - "oh, it's because the sexiest man alive is taking off his jacket oh, the way he wears his shirt enough." >> jimmy: all right. come on. >> enough is enough.
but on the other hand, my mom and like my aunt, you know, they have it kind of vacuum sealed you know what i mean in like saran wrap, you know >> jimmy: yeah >> it's like up on the mantle cause they - >> jimmy: they bought every issue off the newsstand. >> every one every one. >> jimmy: that's awesome >> every one >> jimmy: see, come on here you are on another cover of a magazine. this is men's health cover which, look at this. come on. that's - [ cheers and applause >> my boy leo -- leo volcy did that cover he's my photographers and videographer that was his first cover so it's special, it's special. >> jimmy: did he take this picture on the inside of you -- this is you underwater, holding a rock >> yes, yes. he took that one too it was a crazy workout, man. i'm sitting up there, you know, jumping up to the surface trying to get some air dropping down there trying to get the perfect -- the framing right. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. that's a workout you go down, you find a rock and you carry it >> yeah, well, a lot of surfers, you know, and athletes, they work on their breathing and their conditioning underwater. the bottom and you would just get your cardio in underwater.
>> jimmy: wow. >> so yeah, that was something that we worked on. >> jimmy: we have similar workouts [ laughter ] >> i'm sure man. >> jimmy: you're in preproduction for "creed 3," i am psyched about this. i can't wait i love the first two but you're directing this one. that's massive, buddy. >> yes >> jimmy: congratulations. [ cheers and applause that's big >> thank you so much, man. thank you, thank you i'm really excited about it. you know, it's the one character and story that i know the most you know, third time doing it. it's the third time i've played any role before and i don't think you're ever really ready to direct, but you know, you just got to jump in the deep end and you know, sink or swim >> jimmy: i want to talk about your new movie but before that, i just want to quickly mention this cool thing you're doing for your hometown, for newark >> yeah. i'm putting on a, you know, hbcu classics, called the hoop dreams classic that's taking place in newark, new jersey, at the prudential central december 18th.
and i'm really excited about it, man. honestly, just really highlighting the hbcu's and, you know, putting them on a stage so they can be recognized, their talent, and bringing the community together i think it was important to do >> jimmy: that's good. >> and i'm having a lot of fun, man. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: i think it's important for you to keep doing stuff like that. i love that you keep doing stuff like that. let's talk about your movie. "without remorse." now, this is tom clancy. this is big shoes right here >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: what made you want to do this one? >> to be honest, as a kid, i used to play "rainbow six" a a lot. >> jimmy: "rainbow six." >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow! >> as a gamer, i used to play the video game a lot, and you know, been a fan of tom clancy and his universe ever since. so when i had the opportunity to check out the scrip basically modernize it you know, make it more of a reflection of the world that we live in today i kind of jumped at the
opportunity. you know, especially to do my own stunts you know, you grow up watching these types of movies. you know, you've got wesley snipes, and tom cruise, and michael jai white and jackie chan who trained, you know what i'm saying, for these stunts and now, i get a chance to do it myself. i'm all for that >> jimmy: but i watch you do all these stunts and this really is an action packed movie. like beyond action packed movie. >> it's fun. >> jimmy: at one point, you're fighting off three guys. you light a car on fire and then, you get in that car and i go, "never seen that one before wow! and it's you doing it for real >> yeah. yeah, that's me. >> jimmy: what's that like are you afraid see, i would be afraid of messing up the take. and be like, "okay, jimmy, no big deal we'll just light another car on fire." [ light laughter ] >> it's one of those things that most of the stunts in the movie you can train for. you can't really train yourself not to be hot. you know what i'm saying like the fire is the fire. >> jimmy: yeah >> so that was probably the one
stunt that i didn't think about as much. i just wanted to do it so they cover you in this flame retardant gel. you know what i mean, you might lose some eyebrows and some eyelashes in the process, but i came away with most of mine. and you just hop in the car, man. and you do the scene and you know, got to get out it was hot >> jimmy: yeah >> it was hot. >> jimmy: dude, this is fantastic and congrats on this one. i want everyone to take a look at this. here's a clip. here's michael b. jordan in "without remorse." ♪ >> you remember me >> what? >> who was the fourth guy in my house? give me a name [ screaming you give me a name >> okay, i'll give you a name. john kelly
you are a problem. you're supposed to be dead [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: oh that's how you do it, buddy. michael b. jordan, everybody "without remorse" is available on amazon prime video tomorrow michael and i are playing word sneak when we come back. stick around come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ when you buy this plant at walmart, they can buy more plants from metrolina greenhouses so abe and art can grow more plants. so they can hire vilma... and wendy... and me. so, more people can go to work. so, more days can start with kisses. when you buy this plant at walmart. ♪♪ ♪ who can take a sunrise ♪
♪ sprinkle it with dew ♪ ♪ cover it in choclate and a miracle or two ♪ ♪ the candy man ♪ ♪ ♪ 'cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good ♪ ♪ 'cause the candy man thinks it should ♪ ♪ why do you build me up ♪ ♪ (build me up) ♪ ♪ buttercup, baby ♪ ♪ just to let me down ♪ ♪ (let me down) ♪ ♪ and mess me around ♪ ♪ and then worst of a ♪ when you... ♪ ♪ say you will... ♪ carl. what have you done?
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>> jimmy: here's how it works. we each have cards with random words written on them and our goal is to work these words into the conversation as casually and seamlessly as possible make sense >> got it. okay, okay, okay >> jimmy: all right, so now you look at your top card. i'll look at mine. you start it off and let the word sneak begin michael, any plans for the summer >> the summer? yeah you know, i love getting outdoors you've been to venice beach? you know, they have the bicycles and like the roller blades - >> jimmy: oh, yeah i love venice beach. [ bell rings ] >> you know, outside - it's kind of like, you just -- >> jimmy: yeah, and do you go right home when you go from the beach? you go right into your house >> no, no. actually, you know, i drive, but sometimes like the 405 is so packed, you know, i mean, there's like boats, tugboats, and things like that [ bell rings ] >> jimmy: you snuck in your word already i was just saying, if you gopla. so you got to get a roomba to clean it up. but it's no bi so you do that then -- and then you go on
the 405. you know what i like to do when i used to drive? i used to -- >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: get a little nervous get a little nervous before i drive, so -- >> really? >> jimmy: yeah, but my grandpa told me a little trick throw down a couple of appletinis before you -- [ bell rings ] >> really? >> jimmy: yeah make sure you don't drive too fast, of course, yeah. >> see, that's crazy that he told you the appletinis. for me, you know, i'm aa eater you know, i eat, so -- what really, like, settles my stomach, my nerves when i do drive -- it's crazy sometimes refried beans. and you know - [ bell rings ] >> jimmy: refried beans is what calms your nerves down >> yeah. you know, with nachos. you know what i'm saying, i like nachos, sometimes you got to put the layer of refried beans. >> jimmy: i can't eat that stuff. i can't eat that stuff cause i blow up like a medium sized ostrich. people are like -- [ bell rings ] [ cheers and applause
>> really? >> jimmy: yeah >> okay. >> jimmy: you know, so i can't do that type of stuff anymore. >> and then you know, if you blow up like a medium sized ostrich, the nachos that i usually -- you know, sometimes you might chew on something crazy and you know - >> jimmy: i guess. i guess. >> the teeth, you know what i'm saying >> jimmy: no >> like sometimes your tooth's all -- you're crazy, like my dentist actually stopped seeing me and i had to go see john cena's dentist. [ bell rings ] yeah, i had to go see him one time >> jimmy: wow. >> he took me in last minute it was great it was great it was great >> jimmy: john cena's dentist? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, and that's interesting. the dentist actually says, "you can't see me," as he's operating on you >> i see what you did. >> jimmy: i know that dentist, cause i went to this weird party a couple years ago and i ended up in a hot tub with john cena's dentist -- was in there. >> okay. >> jimmy: crazy, a lot of people in there. cindy adams in there biv from bell biv devoe was in there.
could've been bell, i think it was biv though biv was there. [ laughter ] >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: this dude who played bass for one of brian mcknight's tours >> okay. >> jimmy: the dude that -- who drew scooter -- he did the voice of scooter from "muppet babies." he was in there. just a bunch - the kid from jerry maguire was in there >> how big was - [ bell rings ] >> really. >> jimmy: yeah, it was just -- i had to get the hell out of there. >> i mean, what kind of -- that's a big hot tub >> jimmy: it was a small pool. it was a small pool. >> small pool. >> jimmy: but all those people in there at once made it hot, you know >> gotcha. >> jimmy: yeah, heated it right up >> yes, yes, yes yes. >> jimmy: have you ever been to a crazy party or something >> yeah. you know what? i'm more of a -- i'm a a homebody, you know >> jimmy: yeah >> and i -- sometimes i pick up hobbies. you know, like, i don't know, guitar or -- you know, tattooing was something that i was interested in at one point
>> jimmy: wow, that's an interesting hobby. >> sometimes i do random piercings, you know, lip piercings and stuff like that. if you wanted it, i could give you a lip ring you know, i could do that. [ bell rings ] >> jimmy: you could. >> if you were into it >> jimmy: i'm really, really scared of that that's scary really scary >> that sounds like -- what is that was that -- that sounds like bugs bunny >> jimmy: oh, you rascally rabbit [ bell rings ] that's my man. he set me up michael b. jordan. that's my mae. his new movie, "without remorse," is available tomorrowd we'll be right back with more "tonight show. ♪ what's the #1 retinol brand used most by dermatologists? tah-dah, it's neutrogena®
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calling all californians. keep your vacation here and help our state get back to work. and please travel responsibly. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: my next guest is a a very funny comedian. his new special, "the greatest average american," is streaming now on netflix here he is, nate bargatze, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about, buddy it's great to see you. >> this is it. >> jimmy: wow. this is your apartment >> yeah, dude. i live -- this is how i practice my comedy it's a brick wall. funny bone i'm in a toledo funny bone right now. >> jimmy: are you really that's fantastic you're on the road >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow. >> i'm on the road i've been doing it up, man we did a bunch of drive-in shows leading up to this, which is tough but it was fun like you see a ford f-150 leave
early. that's pretty tough to watch [ laughter ] i watched him, like, not be able to find the exit. i mean, just big truck with lights above it. and you just see him kind of keep going backing down the aisle. >> jimmy: oh my god. >> oh, god >> jimmy: oh, my gosh, bud well, i'm happy you're back out there. i wanted to talk to you about your background a little bit because i think show biz is in your dna, your dad is a world famous magician, stephen bargatze and were you ever -- do you know any tricks? do you know magic? >> i do not. i always say, "i cannot do magic. i can ruin it for you if you want that. [ laughter ] it was all -- you know, you met him when we did our tour together and the picture on his phone, i swear to you, it's me, you and him, and i'm cut out and it's just you and him on his phone. >> jimmy: yeah i love you, dad! stephen, hi bud!
that's fantastic can you tell the story -- your dad opened for you you asked your dad --your first headlining gig >> first gig so i did this -- this was like four or five years into comedy and i got a college, belmont in nashville. this is when you first start, i don't have an hour of material but you still just take the gig, because you can't believe that someone is asking you so i told my dad, i was like, "look. you need to come do it and open for me." my dad has been doing magic for 30 years and he's very funny, he's very good at what he does so i was like, "you can't be too good but, i also need you to do like 40 minutes." [ laughter ] the show is going to be like an hour and 20 minutes. so i'm like, "you've got to do a lot. >> jimmy: the opening act is 40 minutes >> dude, that's all i had. so i was like, "you can do some," and then i was also like, "by the way, i'm not paying you i have no money. >> jimmy: of course. >> i think i made him pay me to open for me. and so he did the show and of course, he crushes. and then when he brings me on
stage, he cries, which - [ audience aws ] yeah, is worse than following someone doing good, i've learned. i mean, it's like a sweet moment, but you're like, "dad, i'm kind of in a hole when you're crying and you bring me on stage." >> jimmy: he's so proud of you >> he's very proud it's just tough to bring the room back up after - he's doing very good he is, right now, he is the president of the international brotherhood of magicians ibm. >> jimmy: is that what ibm stands for [ light laughter ] >> yeah. no they sell computers on the side >> jimmy: wow! >> their main thing is magic so it's a big -- did you ever wonder why your q ends up being g? it's like, that's the little stuff that they do with keyboards. >> jimmy: it truly is magic. you're right bud, i want to talk about your podcast quick, too the "nateland" podcast how did you get into the
"nateland" podcast >> covid [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a good answer >> like -- that was it you know like we did it i wanted to do something to -- i was not on the road, wanted to start a podcast it's not -- you know, it kind of fits with what i do it's clean, it's not politics. not anything like that it's just trying to, like, give people a break and, like, just try to be funny. we talk about calendars, like where calendars came from. i mean, stuff -- our goal is to make you dumber. you leave dumber than when you got there. and that's the main goal [ applause ] >> jimmy: why not? >> i'll bring you down to my level -- is what i try to do >> jimmy: hey, congrats on your netflix special. now, "the greatest average american." what does that mean exactly? >> i mean, i ate at waffle house yesterday. so that's what it means. during the day i went during the day. just a normal -- >> jimmy: wow! sober. >> yeah, that's normally, it's like you shouldn't be there
during the day >> jimmy: waffle house, no >> but i was in there. i had a buddy from canada. and so i was like, "you want to see tennessee, man?" and i showed him, we went to waffle house during the day. so, i think i have very average -- all my tastes are -- i know what's going on on mcdonald's menu at all times there's no surprises when the mcrib comes back, i know a little bit before you might know a little heads up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: dude, you're the best i want to show everyone a clip here's nate bargatze in his new special on netflix, "the greatest average american. take a look at this. >> 2020 has been my favorite year [ laughter ] out of all of the years, this has been the best one. i mean, you know, there's aliens they said there's ufos and no one cares. what kind of year could you have that you could sneak in, "hey everybody," on the news
at the end of the news, they go, "there are ufos," and you're like, "oh, do they have covi and you're like, no, no. they won't get tested. it's funny, i told my wife that i said, "they said there's ufos." and she just went about her day. i mean, just -- you might even watch this and be like, "oh, i didn't even hear that. and that's the point that's how amazing 2 2020 has been. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause nate bargatze, everybody "the greatest average american" is streaming now on netflix. we'll be right back with a a performance from coi leray stick around, everybody. thank you, nate. good to see you, bud ♪
[ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: making her tv debut, performing "no more parties," here's coi leray [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ they wanna ea off my plate ♪ ♪ they wanna eat off me when i had my vision you couldn't see ♪ ♪ i'm off to better thing only doing that' gonna make me elevate ♪ ♪ only want people around that's gonna mak me better ♪ ♪ mhm it's a mhm ♪ ♪ they ask how get that ooh i'm too busy getting this money ♪ ♪ counting this cheddar my daddy let me down but i promise yo i won't let up ♪ ♪ i wanna say that ma but won' make me better me and my brother ♪ ♪ still beefing right now cause he ain't get that letter ♪ ♪ numb to the pai
and i'm like yea everybody i can' trust nobody ♪ ♪ i ain't eve really trying to party don't invite m to no party ♪ ♪ yeah pull up in that mh it's a mhm they ask how i get that ooh ♪ ♪ i'm a hustler bab you must not know me baby ♪ ♪ i'm off to better thing i'm only doing that' gonna make me elevate ♪ ♪ only want people around that's gonna mak me better ♪ ♪ mhm it's mhm ♪ ♪ they ask how get that ooh can't worry about nobody gotta worry about my business ♪ ♪ don't bring the dudes around m i don't know they intentions ♪ ♪ don't wanna fall in love cause these li are tripping ♪ ♪ why i stay ou the way gott make sure keep my distance ♪ ♪ why they wanna hate m this is craz she mad i took her ooh ♪ ♪ buss it baby ooh yeah you must not know me baby ♪ ♪ i'm off to better thing i'm only doing that' gonna make me elevate ♪
♪ only want people around that's gonna mak me better ♪ ♪ mhm it's so mhmm ♪ ♪ they ask how get that ooh pull up in that mh it's so mhm ♪ ♪ they ask how get that ooh ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah let's go ♪ ♪ ♪ they ask ho i get that ooh ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: join us tomorrow night -- james spader and abbi jacobson will be here, and we'll have music from beach bunny my thanks to michael b. jordan, nate bargatze. [ cheers and applause thank you, nate. coi leray, and the roots, right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania thank you for watching stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers. goodnight, everybody