tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC May 6, 2021 11:34pm-12:36am PDT
as a kid growing up in the bay area you were an incredible role model for me. i met you -- i'm sure you don't remember. when i was 12 years old. and i was lucky enough to meet you at training camp in arizona and you signed a baseball for me that still sits in my office to this day. >> one legend to another. not just brady. former president barack obama also tweeted this photo of the two of them together. he wrote that if it wasn't for people like willie he might never have made it to the white house. the giants by the way holding a birthday celebration for mays tomorrow at oracle park before the giants play the padres. what you're seeing is a drawing done by hand by one of our colleagues at nbc sports bay area. happy birthday. bye-bye. see you tomorrow. thanks for being with us. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the
tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests - jessica alba marc maron musical guest sech and featuring the legendary roots crew >> questlove: 1457 >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: oh my goodness that's what i'm talking about right here that is a hot crowd. welcome, everybody welcome, welcome
please enjoy yourself. welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause thank you for watching thank you for being here well guys, it seems like there's so much going on right now. you've got prince william and kate middleton they just launched their own youtube channel. [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] are returning after 17 years yeah oh, they are sunday is mother's day [ cheers and applause and i heard about a woman who claims to have found a a cigarette in her taco at taco bell [ laughter ] there's a lot to go over so let's just jump in and cover it all at once it's time for a newsmash [ cheers and applause ♪ first up, prince william and kate middleton have launched their own youtube channel. they plan to upload videos, though it's not clear how often. they could post every day or they could post once every 17 years that's right [ laughter ] the cicadas are back experts are expecting trillions of these loud, obnoxious bugs to emerge from underground just in time for -- mother's day. [ laughter ]
it's this weekend. so if you haven't bought a a gift, you should get on that though mom would be happy with whatever you get her as long as it isn't -- a taco with a cigarette inside [ laughter ] that's right, a woman said she found a cigarette in her taco bell meal. that's disgusting. to be honest, i'd rather find a cicada [ laughter ] they only pop up once every 17 years so it's easy to forget about them but it's okay as long as you don't forget about -- mother's day. [ laughter ] i mean, how could you? flowers, cards, chocolates, mother's day stuff is everywhere no matter where you turn, you can't escape it. kind of like -- the royal family [ laughter ] every tv show and movie is about them and now they're taking over youtube, too i can't wait to see their first prank video when they put a cigarette in someone's taco. [ laughter ] what a terrible meal it is the opposite of what you'll get on -- mother's day. and you get to eat in it bed so in conclusion, this should be fun, there's going to be a ton, mom you're number one,
think outside the bun. [ cheers and applause this has been a newsmash ♪ [ cheers and applause hey, this is exciting. [ cheers and applause that's what i'm talking about. absolutely yep, after cinco de mayo, everyone spent the day either thanking a nurse or needing one. [ laughter ] and listen to this, the cdc just announced that they expect to see a sharp decline in covid cases in the u.s. by july. [ cheers and applause that's right so get ready for etsy's newest item, bikinis made from recycled masks [ light laughter ] this gives me hope that we can celebrate the 4th of july the way it's meant to be celebrated -- at a neighbor's barbecue, judging their house and trying to leave. [ laughter ] speaking of covid, i read that the mets and yankees will soon offer free tickets to people who get vaccinated at their games. that's fantastic then after parking, food and a
a t-shirt, the vaccine will only cost you about $400 or $500 [ laughter ] it's actually a great idea except they're having the peanut vendor hurl the needle at people. [ laughter ] you can also look for the guy in the parking lot who's yelling "pfizer, get your ice cold pfizer here!" i'm kidding. fans just have to show up on time and hope that mr. met has steady hands [ laughter ] meanwhile, i saw that new york city is taking the effort a step further and now wants to start vaccinating tourists [ audience ohs ] i can't wait to see a german tourist be like, "yah, i just got the j & j at the m & m store. [ laughter ] that's right tourists are excited they're like, it's new york city, we're going to get stabbed one way or another [ laughter ] the vaccines would be administered in a mobile van here's a word of warning to tourists if someone rolls up in a van and offers you a shot, don't get in unless it's mr. met some news from overseas. i read that russia just
authorized use of a one-shot covid vaccine called sputnik light. [ light laughter ]sputnik. is sputnik light okay? is that fine it tastes the same, basically. i mean, it's just as effective. some news from washington, i saw that house republicans want to kick liz cheney off of their leadership team because she refuses to side with trump and say the election was stolen. you can tell republicans also upset dick cheney. cause they were like, we should totally ditch liz. she's such a - [ laughter ] >> steve: liz, i am your father >> jimmy: liz cheney said republicans have to choose between the truth and trump, to which republicans said, "the truth never gave us free hats. [ light laughter ] you guys getting tired it's all right [ laughter ]
we're almost at the end. [ laughter ] some entertainment news, hbo just released the first images from its "game of thrones" prequel series, "house of the dragon." yeah, here's one of the photos they released. [ audience oohs we don't know much, but you can tell that they're not brother and sister because they're not making out [ laughter ] can we zoom into the background for a second how did they miss that [ laughter ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: come on! >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: how did they miss that you'd think someone would -- >> steve: learn their lesson >> jimmy: now, can we zoom out what's going on? [ laughter ] i've seen those people in the hamptons [ light laughter ] did you guys see this? last night the new york rangers and washington capitals played each other and the game was pretty wild right from the start. take a look at this. >> dowd and garnet hathaway, they combined for two goals, three assists. >> here we go. right off the draw >> right off the face-off. three fights simultaneously.
rooney and dowd. di giuseppe going at it with >> jimmy: people were calling it "the view" on ice [ laughter ] yeah, there were six fights in the first five minutes and a a photo of the capitals' penalty box went viral look at this [ laughter ] looks like a canadian prison can we see it again? it looks like a white guy vending machine. [ laughter ] hey, get this, in ohio, lawmakers introduced a new bill against distracted driving okay and on the same day that that bill was proposed, one senator tried to hide the fact that he was driving during a meeting watch this >> we're going to allow for the legislative process and discussions to continue. >> on the regular agenda, are there any holds, no votes or abstentions? senator brenner? >> no holds. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the guy was like, what, what seatbelts? when i get this rocking chair moving, who knows what's gonna happen i'm not in a car you're in a car.
then he was like, "sorry, my zoom's cutting out i'm going through a tunnel i mean, i'm not going through a tunnel i mean i'm going through a toll booth. not a toll -- why would i say toll booth i'm just going to pull over. i'm going to pull my house over hold on. [ laughter ] and finally, a 12-year-old just built the world's tallest popsicle stick strucis out wow. oh, yeah we've got to get the kids back in school. [ laughter ] it was cute until he said, "i'm building my own 5g tower to avoid government surveillance. [ laughter ] yep, everyone said, "great eiffel tower." while the kid was like, "eiffel tower? this is shaq's toothpick." we have a great show give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: what a show we have for you tonight. joining us in studio, she is
the founder of the honest company, jessica alba is here tonight! [ cheers and applause she's one of my favorites. plus, he's the host of the podcast, "wtf with marc maron. marc maron is here [ cheers and applause he's always funny. i can't wait to talk to him cause he just visited his mother he got to finally say hi to his mom. i think he's got some stories. and we got some great music from sech, everybody [ cheers and applause hey, i want to give a shout out to our very own tariq trotter. this is very cool. he is starring in a new adaptation of the classic play, "waiting for godot." [ cheers and applause ♪ hey tariq, this is a great cast you've got ethan hawke, john leguizamo, wallace shawn right there. this is an all-streaming version of the play. you were supposed to do this, was it last year >> tariq: no, no yeah, this was an idea that ethan sort of brought to us during quarantine.
you know, it was like something that came up during covid. and it is, it's part of the new group, offstage, which is a new venture and the idea is to bring theatrical expression just to people in different mediums. yeah, this is -- it's the classic play but it is a film version of it and we did it on zoom. so it's a hybrid in that way >> jimmy: wild >> yeah. >> jimmy: how did you --i know you told me that it was happening. i was like, this is crazy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you just rehearsed. and then who directed? >> tariq: scott elliott directed, but, you know, everyone was isolated. you know we all filmed. i think john leguizamo was in london for the whole time and ethan was at home at his place here in new york city. i was in new jersey. and the cinematographer was in israel people from all over the world different countries, time zones and stuff. >> jimmy: that is so cool. and to be able to bring theater to all those millions of people so guys, this is streaming
right now at thenewgroup.org congrats, buddy. that's awesome tariq trotter. i love that. [ cheers and applause guys, as i mentioned earlier, mother's day is this sunday and to celebrate, we teamed up with our pals at samsung to shine a a spotlight on some amazing super moms all week long now we asked people to tell us about an epic mom in their life a mom who's gone above and beyond for others and deserves some extra thanks and praise this year. and tonight's mom is just that her name is patrice walton she's a registered nurse in atlanta, georgia and her son marlon came to us and explained what makes her such a special mother. so here's what we did. we set up a video chat with them we told them that it was for nbc's instagram. but what we didn't tell them is that i was going to call them on my new samsung galaxy s21 ultra 5g phone and surprise patrice with an early mother's day gift here she is with her son, marlon check it out ♪
>> hi, my name is marlon and my mom patrice, is a super mom. my mom is a single mom who is a registered nurse at northeast georgia hospital and a family nurse practitioner who administers covid shots. from the moment my mom found out i was born with a disability called spina bifida, the doctors told my mom i may not walk again but with immense physical therapy and my mom's belief in my ability to walk, i was able to walk by the age of three. she said the sky's the limit, and helped me work around the things that i felt like i could not do she's shown me to never give up >> jimmy: patrice? >> yes >> jimmy: patrice? >> yes >> jimmy: let me turn my video on here. >> all right >> jimmy: patrice. hi jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause >> hey >> jimmy: patrice, i just want to say i love your story i heard everything you do as a a mom. you're not only just a mom you're a super mom and i wanted to thank you and also our friends at samsung wanted to thank you as well. so we'd like to give you this
galaxy package this is the new watch, this is the tab, this is the ear buds, the whole shebang right here for you. thank you so much for everything you do. >> thank you that's so cool >> jimmy: oh, also, samsung would like to also give you a check for $25 thousand [ cheers and applause >> what? $25 thousand >> jimmy: happy mother's day >> thank you >> thank you this is awesome. >> jimmy: and you're an awesome mom. you spread a lot of love out there. >> thank you >> thank you [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: yeah she's like, is that real thank you to patrice and marlon, samsung and all the super moms out there [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with more "tonight show," everybody. come on back [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪
please give it up for the one and only jessica alba! [ cheers and applause oh, come on! thank you for being here it's so good to see you. >> thank you for having me >> jimmy: here's how the game works. jessica and i will take turns facing our backs to the curtain. behind the curtain will be something neither of us has seen before. it could be people, objects, anything once the curtain opens and you pick up your card, you have 45 seconds to try to get the other person to guess what's behind them. you can say anything you want or use gestures, just can't say any of the words on your card. jessica, you'll be guessing first. let's get into position. >> okay. [ cheers and applause [ laughter ] that was scary >> jimmy: i know it's kind of fun, right? jessica, let's open the curtain -- >> okay. >> jimmy: -- and see what's behind you >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay all right, here we go. ready? okay all right. it's a dr. seuss character >> a cat
>> jimmy: the other one. holiday. >> a fish? >> jimmy: yep. >> fish? >> jimmy: no >> no. >> jimmy: holiday. >> oh. a dog? >> jimmy: he stole christmas >> oh, the grinch. >> jimmy: yeah [ bell dinging ] uh, movie with julia roberts where she finds herself in italy. >> "eat pray love. >> jimmy: that's correct [ bell dinging ] and it's in a transportation device that uses -- it floats in the - it floats. [ light laughter ] and you're in a basket >> oh, a hot-air balloon [ bell dinging ] >> jimmy: that's correct she did it [ cheers and applause [ bell dinging ] "the grinch reading 'eat pray love' in a hot-air balloon." now let's get it - >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: wow! >> it's real >> jimmy: oh, my god, i don't like that grinch looking at me [ laughter ] >> wow >> jimmy: the way he's enjoying the book, so he can see. >> i had no idea it was going to be, like, a real thing. >> jimmy: oh, yeah [ light laughter ] these are real things. yeah [ laughter ] all right. here we go >> all right >> jimmy: now it is my turn to guess. >> okay. >> jimmy: let's rotate the stage. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right, here we go >> do i look in the -- >> jimmy: not yet.
not yet. >> oh, oh, okay. >> jimmy: once we get settled in here. i'm getting ready. all right. okay jessica, grab that blue card, and when the curtains open - >> okay. >> jimmy: time starts talking when you start talking now, let's see what's behind me [ laughter ] >> oh, wow it's - >> jimmy: okay >> so it's a -- looking for -- the people that look for treasure and they're on -- >> jimmy: treasure hunters >> -- a ship. >> jimmy: oh and they might have like a - >> jimmy: pirates. >> yes [ bell dinging ] >> jimmy: okay and the pirate is washing hair >> jimmy: okay is it a hair stylist -- hair dyeing >> washing hair. >> jimmy: washing hair a pirate is washing his -- >> what is -- what is it when you wash your hair >> jimmy: cleaning -- showering. bathing. >> you wash your hair with >> jimmy: shampoo. >> yes >> jimmy: using shampoo. [ bell dinging ] >> so a pirate - his hair with -- you put it on -- it's with chips and it's -
>> jimmy: guacamole? >> but, the other thing. >> jimmy: salsa? no >> it's -- there's different types of it. it's a gooey, orange substance >> jimmy: cheese whiz. velveeta [ buzzer ] nacho cheese [ bell dinging ] [ cheers and applause "the pirate is shampooing with nacho cheese." [ bell dinging ] >> yes >> jimmy: shampooing - ♪ oh, gross! all right. all right. very nice. yikes, oh, my gosh >> i just feel like i got distracted with all of the action [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah >> that was happening. >> jimmy: that kind of -- yeah -- that's something you can't unsee really >> right >> jimmy: but you did it we got that. see, we're good partners we got that one, right we got the points for that [ cheers and applause all right. it is your turn to guess let's rotate here we go >> i mean, wanted to say, "queso," but i felt like that would have been cheating ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, that would have been cheating. no, it's perfect [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, let's see what's behind you. [ laughter ]
okay it is, it's something -- it's a performance artist that you would see in france. >> a mime? >> jimmy: yes. [ bell dinging ] thank you! it is -- he's wearing a form of transportation that -- >> a skate board roller skates. >> jimmy: yes, the other one >> skate board, roller skates -- roller blades. >> jimmy: yes. [ bell dinging ] and he's - >> a mime -- >> jimmy: yes. >> -- with roller blades. >> jimmy: that's right and a famous potato chip, but it's in a tube >> oh, yeah. frito lay. >> jimmy: the -- the - >> yeah. >> jimmy: the guy's got a little bow tie >> yeah. pringles >> jimmy: yes! [ bell dinging ] [ cheers and applause yes. >> what was that >> jimmy: a mime with their hand stuck in pringles can good job sorry, mime. very good job. oh, my gosh. fantastic.
he ended weird okay, i don't know what was happening at the end we'll blur it out when we air it okay, it is time for the final round. let's rotate the stage [ laughter ] here we go all right. here we go all right. ♪ ready, jessica >> yeah. >> jimmy: now, let's see what's behind me. >> okay, let's see [ laughter ] oh >> jimmy: whose reaction are you -- like, oh, my god okay >> okay. so, it's a clown that is part of a food chain, and they have - >> jimmy: ronald mcdonald. >> yes [ bell dinging ] and he is sitting in a spa another word for a spa that's outside. >> jimmy: steam -- steam room. sauna. >> spa spa. >> jimmy: spa. >> with water. >> jimmy: spa with water would be -- i have no -- a spa with water. a hot tub? >> mm-hm
[ bell dinging ] >> jimmy: okay, ronald mcdonald in a hot tub >> mm-hm >> jimmy: all right, this sounds like my bachelor party. [ laughter ] >> throwing -- throwing -- it's a game that you throw at a - >> jimmy: paddle ball? darts? >> yes [ bell dinging ] >> jimmy: what ♪ that was my bachelor party let me see this thing. oh, my god that is unbelievable well done. ♪ oh, my gosh. [ cheers and applause again, things you can't unsee. jessica alba, everybody. we're talking to jessica, after the break. stick around [ cheers and applause i have no idea that's like two mimes in a row ♪ if you printed out directions to get here today, you're in the right place. my seminars are a great tool to help young homeowners who are turning into their parents. now, remember, they're not programs. they're tv shows. you woke up early. no one cares. yes. so, i was using something called homequote explorer from progressive to easily compare home insurance rates.
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: my first guest is a talented actress, a "new york times" best selling author, and a successful entrepreneur, as the founder of the honest company. please welcome jessica alba! [ cheers and applause ♪ jessica, welcome, welcome back >> thank you >> jimmy: come on. isn't it great to hear an audience >> yes i mean, it feels -- it feels like it's closer to normal >>tting back there >> it feels really good. >> jimmy: yeah, it's only 58 people. they sound like 8 thousand people [ cheers ] thank you again. thank you so much for coming in studio >> my pleasure >> jimmy: it means a lot to me and everybody out there. i wanted to wish you a happy
belated birthday >> thank you [ cheers and applause >>jimmy: happy birthday, bud ♪ it was a big birthday, right >> yes i turned 40. >> jimmy: wow! that's massive >> yeah, it's so weird cause, like, when you're little, you're like, that age just feels aggressive >> jimmy: yeah >> i don't know. i don't know how else -- you're just like, "that's a grown ass person." that is like, "yes, that is what that is." and when you're here, you're like, "i guess this is what it is." and it, yeah >> jimmy: and when you're here, you're like, that's very young, that person. i'm like, "i remember when i was 40." >> well cause you're like -- you know you have so much more life out there to live but i feel like, i don't know. everything is just sort of like connecting in a really cool way. >> jimmy: yeah since you were on our show last time, you went on this hiking trip that i wanted to ask you about because -- >> oh geez >> jimmy: no, because -- i think that you're in amazing shape.
you're healthy and wellness, that's your thing. and i go, great. >> yes >> jimmy: so i think hiking would be right up your alley >> nope. >> jimmy: really >> definitely not. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: wow, now, explain it to me. >> it was a vegan hiking detox situation. and i didn't realize -- so, in my mind, i'm like, "i'm going there to do the healthy thing. but actually, you're supposed to eliminate all the things before you get there so like, for a month, you should stop drinking alcohol [ laughter ] and i was like - >> jimmy: yeah, have you met quarantine >> the night before, i was like, "how many margaritas can i get in?" >> jimmy: you're like, "oh, the detox starts a month before the detox? oh, interesting. >> and then they're like, "and you should eliminate meat a week or two weeks. >> jimmy: wow. >> i was downing tacos that morning with all the things on it >> jimmy: so then you get to this place - >> so i get there and -- oh, yes, and you're supposed to
hike like six miles a day. who has time for that? >> jimmy: wait, so this is before you go on the hike? you have to do the hike? >> all of these things you're supposed to walk. walk for, like, six miles a day. build yourself up. i did not nary none of it zero >> jimmy: nary [ laughter ] nary a thing i love that. >> but then we were on the hike, and our first day, we're halfway up we're like, "we don't know if we can do this anymore." and then a pack of solid, solid senior citizens. like 80 to 90-year-olds. >> jimmy: yeah, real seniors >> they just, boom, right past us >> jimmy: booking. >> booking and we're dying. >> jimmy: huffing and puffing. >> and then they came and they lapped us. they went to the top, and came back down. and we still hadn't quite made it up. >> jimmy: unbelievable all right, i want to check this out. >> i was yeah -- anyway. one of those moments where you're like, "i might be failing at this. whatever this is, this is not my thing."
>> jimmy: yeah this is not my thing exactly. >> no. >> jimmy: i'll tell you what is your thing, the honest company is congratulations on this. >> thank you [ applause ] >> jimmy: this is a giant thing. i use it i love it. but this is a big deal you just went -- you rang the bell at nasdaq this morning, and you went public with your stock. that's a giant thing to happen for a business [ cheers and applause you worked your butt off, buddy. you worked so hard how long have you been doing that >> so i founded it nine years ago. >> jimmy: wow! >> it's wild it's a dream come true i mean, it's -- you always think of, like, you have this idea -- and can i really build this ethical business that stands for like human health, and thinking about the planet, and sustainability, and diversity and inclusion. and can a company that really has purpose do well, and be looked at in the business world and taken seriously?
>> jimmy: yeah, nine years of work and it really paid off your family was with you when you rang the bell. >> yeah. >> jimmy: was that emotional >> oh, my gosh i was trying to keep it together, but yeah it's -- it was one of the most amazing experiences, especially to have my family with me and my team. it was incredible. >> jimmy: it's a big deal. good for you congratulations on that. that's awesome [ applause ] every time you come i go what's the new thing? what's the next thing? what are we talking about? facemasks, what are we doing but now you're like, no. i'm on to a new mission now -- >> yeah. so we launched this new conscious cleaning line. and so we have an alternative to the traditional har so we have that. we also have sanitizing wipes that also use our clean ingredients. and then we have three types of
home cleaners that you basically reuse the bottle, and it comes in refills, and there's a concentrate. so if you just think of all of the bottles that go into landfill, if a couple of choices that all of us make, can be more thoughtful and more conscious, then you're just going to make a giant impact over all so i'm really excited about that we launched - >> jimmy: i love that you're doing all this, and a mom. [ cheers and applause and an actor you're fantastic, and a great guest to have on our show. please come back whenever. you know we love you so much >> thank you >> jimmy: jessica alba, everybody. [ cheers and applause check out what's new at the honest company marc maron joins us after the break. stick around everybody come on back [ cheers and applause ♪ (brother) hi sis! (sister) you're late! (sister)r) we can not be late.
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: my next guest is the host of "wtf with marc maron." and, on may 16th, he'll be honored by the podcast academy as the first ever recipient of the governor's award here is marc maron look at that ♪ that's what i'm talking about! yes. >> what's up >> jimmy: it's always good to see you, bud it's good to see you, bud. i have -- i have to ask you a question 'cause i know that you got a a chance to finally visit your mom recently in florida. >> i did awhile - you know, after i got the vaccine, and right after, i went through the two weeks, i went right to florida to see my mother i hadn't seen her in a year and a half it was her birthday recently she just turned 60, again. [ laughter ] she turned 60 every -- every year now for 20 years. she's 60 and we just let it slide [ laughter ] and -- but you know what's amazing, jimmy no matter how long you don't see your mother for, as soon as you get there, within ten minutes you're an angry high
schooler [ laughter ] within ten minutes, i was like, "what? what do you want no!" so here's what you do, jim >> jimmy: okay >> whenever you go, when you're grown-up, if you can afford it, never stay at their house. >> jimmy: okay never stay at your mother's house. always stay at a hotel nearby. not too nearby, so it gives you time to process. 'cause then you make plans you're like, "do you want to go to lunch?" and you go, "yes." and they'll go, "okay. when you coming? like, "i got the -- i'll be over about an hour." then for an hour, you can try to reel it in, pull yourself together so when you get there, you don't yell or cry or storm away [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you never stay with your mom >> no. no no that's horrifying. could you imagine waking up and they're just there [ laughter ] no i'm a grown man. i can't do that. >> jimmy: is this the first time traveling for you >> yes i'm not scared anymore i got the vaccine. i'm just going full steam ahead. and florida was a good choice, because, you know, i hadn't
really been around people. and when you go to florida, you're around the full spectrum of hideous humanity. [ laughter ] you are -- and they're -- and they're half dressed. now, i'm not saying that i'm not part of that i'm that judging we're all hideous. but i'm about mid -- about middle hideous in florida, you know what i learned, jimmy is that the expression, "does not disappoint," goes for both good things and horrible things so, here's what you see in florida. it's like there's a whole population of elderly people that just give zero [ bleep can i say that [ laughter ] they give zero okay and it's beautiful i saw a man wearing, i think it must have been a speedo unitard. [ laughter ] okay, like, a speedo onesie. and he was on -- he was on a a unicycle and jim, he was 92 if he was a a day. 92 >> jimmy: wow! >> everything packed into the onesie and on some level, i think, "god bless that guy.
you know, if that's who -- i think all senior citizens, if you can't do that in reality, at least do it in your heart be the man on the unicycle in a unitard. >> jimmy: yes, that's exactly right. yes, i totally agree with you. yeah did you go out to dinner at all while you were there with your mom? >> oh, man look, i'm not a complainy guy. all right, we went out to a place, all right -- we went out to a place where it was a seafood place on the beach which, if you need to know, if there is a seafood place on the beach in a tourist town in florida, they don't care if you ever come back that's what i learned. so, we got this food it wasn't good [ laughter ] now, here's what happened. the next morning, because i made the reservation online, they send me the little, "how was your experience at blah blah blah? so i'm like, "i'm going to tell them i'm going to tell them." and while i'm writing this, i see that something happens on my phone it picks up a voicemail. but i write this thing, and i'm like, "the clams were disgusting they were stinky the lobster on the chilled platter was warm >> jimmy: do you do this ever?
are you a yelp reviewer? >> never i never do it. but -- and at the end of it, i said, "i know you probably know all this, but you really don't care, do you because you're on the beach and you don't care if people come back." and i send that off. all right? >> jimmy: wow! >> so then i check my phone, and it's a message, just by coincidence from the manager -- the general manager of that restaurant, saying i left my credit card there. [ laughter ] now i'm like, "oh, my god. all right, so -- so now i gotta -- i gotta call the guy, right? so i'm pretty -- i'm pretty sure in my head that they don't read these things. whatever so i call the guy. and i'm like, "hey, yes, marc maron you know, you called about my credit card? he's like, "yeah, i just -- just got the email." and i'm like, "oh, man yeah." he's like, "it was like a kick in the gut." and, like, there's that moment, jim, where you're like, "the internet is for anonymous one-sided attacks that you don't have to answer for in real life. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. of course. >> so now i gotta answer for it, right? so now, i tell the guy -- i
tell the guy, "look, man, i hope, i didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but it was terrible i mean." he's like, "i don't get it, man. i run a good restaurant. we get the fresh fish every day. the clams --" i'm like, "the clams were not good. the clams --" he's like, "well, they opened them fresh." i'm like, "yeah, but, you know, just 'cause a clam is closed doesn't mean it's good you know what i mean you gotta --" so i do all that >> jimmy: my god >> and then he goes, then he says -- he says to me, he says, "you know, there's a comedian with your name, marc maron." i'm like, "yeah, i'm him." he's like, "oh, really well, my kids love you." and i'm like, "i don't care. the clams were bad, dude the clams were bad [ laughter ] the lobster -- you're not gonna make me feel bad your restaurant's terrible but look, i'll come down, get my credit card, we'll take a a picture for your kids. and, you know, it'll be fine." he's like, "i'm just sad that your experience wasn't as good as it could have been. i get down there, gives me the card, we take the picture. i'm walking up he's still looking at me like, "huh?" and i'm like, "nope, nope, check the clams. it was not good. >> jimmy: good for you good for you >> yeah. i was willing to die on that
mountain, the clam mountain. >> jimmy: yes. good, i like that. the clam mountain. marc, next weekend you're getting the governor's award for the -- from the podcast academy. this is the first time they're ever doing this award. and it's a big deal. and i don't know, does marc maron care about awards >> well, you know, it's weird. i never win them i've never won anything. not since i came in second in the san francisco comedy competition, i think in 1994 so, i never win them, and it's just ironic to me that they had to create a new award for me to finally win one. [ laughter ] now, the podcast award -- the podcast academy is legitimate. i don't want to disregard it there is a governing body. they're legitimate people. it's nice. it's an important award. it's the governor's award, which basically means like, "these guys have doing it awhile we should throw them a bone. so, that's what the award is it's for being a pioneer, one of the originals, one of the people that, sort of, defined the medium
a legend and it's usually one of those things -- ones they give you after people start caring about who you are. but i'm going to take it, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think you deserve it you were there you started it when there was no one doing this. [ cheers and applause and you're - >> no, it's very exciting. i'm very -- it's an award that i feel like i earned, and i'm proud of it. and me and my producing partner, brendan, we're excited about it >> jimmy: you're one of the best out there, buddy. and i always love having you as a guest. congratulations, early, on this award. you deserve it, pal. marc maron, everybody. check out his award-winning podcast "wtf with marc maron." [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with a a performance from sech. stick around [ cheers and applause ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: join us tomorrow night. our pal jessica biel will be here [ cheers and applause nick thune will be here. plus we have great music i heard this band on the radio and i asked if they would come on they're from france and i love it mad foxes will pe on the show tommorow night [ applause ] my thanks to jessica alba, marc maron, sech and the roots thank you for watching stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers. goodnight everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪