tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS October 30, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
need to start your day bright and early. happy halloween tomorrow. good night. captioning sponsored by cbs >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight, trick or treaters, plus stephen welcomes billy eichner, anna camp and musical guests weezer, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." now live on tape from the ed
sullivan theater in it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hey! ( cheers and applause ) hey, everybody! please sit down! welcome to the "late show," i'm stephen colbert. anybody did you catch that world series game? ( cheering ) i have been told it's amazing. i didn't watch it because i was focusing on something else. see, it's almost halloween and this year is going to be super spooky for donald trump because special prosecutor and off-duty lurch, robert muller, just
announced the first indictments in the russia investigation. and who's our first lucky winner? it's former trump campaign manager paul manafort, seen here looking innocent before proven guilty. i know it's almost halloween, but it really feels more like christmas. ♪ paul manafort, paul manafort, you're just the first of many ♪ ♪ five years in jail ♪ shall i sing to the feds? trump-a-pumpum." ♪ ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) just think how much better those jokes were if it was actually
christmas right now. ( laughter ) the charges were actually filed on friday, but they gave manafort until today to turn himself in. wow, we white people really do get arrested differently. ( laughter ) they might as well have sent him a formal invitation. "robert mueller requests the pleasure of your company in federal court. please check one: chicken, fish, squeal on donald trump?" ( cheers and applause ) manafort's been charged with twelve counts, including "conspiracy to launder money," "tax fraud," and "conspiracy against the united states." ( audience reacts ) what's that crime usually called again...? i can't remember, for some treason. ( laughter ) according to the indictment, manafort "worked as an unregistered agent" of the government of ukraine and took in tens of millions of dollars, which he apparently spent on luxury items including three range rovers, and $849,000 at a men's clothing store.
makes sense. it's not cheap to look like you're starring in a middle school production of "guys and dolls." ( laughter ) apparently, manafort also spent $934,000 on antique rugs -- which explains why he used his one phone call for 800-588-2300, empire. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) rug, please. ( applause ) he's under house arrest -- again white people -- and prosecutors think he might be a flight risk. the evidence? they've asked that manafort's bail be set at $10 million. ( audience reacts ) that's a lot of rugs. ( laughter ) he better hope one of them can fly. ( laughter ) of course, manafort's arrest was a big topic of conversation at today's press briefing with white house press secretary and
heir to the huckabee fortune, sarah huckabee sanders, who said we're all missing the "real" story. >> today's announcement has nothing to do with the president, the president's campaign or campaign activity. the real collusion scandal, as we've said several times before, has everything to do with the clinton campaign, fusion gps and russia. >> stephen: my god, of course, hillary clinton colluded with russia to lose the election. ( laughter ) but we didn't see because we were playing checkers while she was playing three-dimensional lose the election. while we're on the subject, remember how the trump campaign swore over and over they never knew of any attempt to coordinate with russia? well, how do i put this? "fake news." ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) because today we also learned
about an f.b.i. investigation into former trump foreign policy adviser and groomsman offering you ecstasy at the ceremony, george papadopoulos. turns out, "papadopolous pleaded guilty to lying to f.b.i. agents in the mueller probe." and the details of what papadopoulos lied about are papadopo-damning. while working to elect trump, "he repeatedly tried to arrange a meeting between the trump campaign and russian government officials." you can't do that. it's don, jr.'s job. ( laughter ) he's going to get jealous! ( applause ) according to the indictment, papadopoulos lied to the f.b.i. about his meetings with russian connections, such as "a female russian national described by papadopoulos as putin's niece" and a mysterious academic identified only as "the professor."
we don't have all the details yet, but i'm guessing he met the professor in the conservatory with the candlestick. and when the "putin niece" in question was told about a potential meeting between the trump campaign and russia, she responded, "we are all very excited by the possibility of a good relationship with mr. trump." ma'am, you're not the first eastern european woman who had high hopes for a good relationship with mr. trump. ( laughter ) ( cheering ) ( piano riff ) but why did papadopoulos try to set up these meetings? because the professor told him about the russians possessing "dirt" on then-candidate hillary clinton in the form of quote, "thousands of emails." so, we're supposed to believe that trump wanted russia to help with the emails. does that even pass the smell test? >> russia, if you're listening, i hope you're able to find the
30,000 emails that are missing. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) i hope this covers bull (bleep). ( laughter ) >> stephen: and the trump campaign knew what papadopoulous was up to. and this could just be the beginning of the bad news for trump because this plea deal means that papadopoulous "has agreed to cooperate with the mueller investigation." oooh, i'm so excited. i think i just popped a dopoulos. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) ( jon batiste singing ) we knew this was coming this morning and all weekend trump
was panic-tweeting: "never seen such republican anger and unity as i have concerning the lack of investigation on clinton made fake dossier-- now $12 million? comma-dot-dot-dot-dot"-- the rare four dots and a comma. we're in uncharted punctuation waters. soon his tweets will just be: eight semi-colons, two ampersands, and an umlaut. ( laughter ) umlaut! umlaut. umlaut. trump continued: "dot dot dot the uranium to russia deal, the 33,000 plus deleted emails, the comey fix and so much more. instead they look at phony trump/russia, comma dot dot dot dot dot dot dot 'collusion,' which doesn't exist. the dems are using this terrible-- and bad for our country-- witch hunt for evil politics, but the r's dot dot
dot dot dot dot are now fighting back like never before. there is so much guilt by democrats/clinton, and now the facts are pouring out. "do something!" ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) there's something so presidential about yelling "do something" into the void. it reminds me of president roosevelt's address to congress following pearl harbor: >> december 7, 1941-- a date which will live in infamy. someone do something! ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: greatest generation. the greatest generation. this is huge news, and all the
networks scramled to cover the latest from the mueller investigation except, of course, for the president's roadside petting zoo over at fox & friends. >> reports that morning of an imminent arrest in robert mueller's russia investigation, kellyanne conway is here to react to that. and sorry, everyone! halloween is ruined. all thanks to millennials. dean cain is going to try to break that one down. >> stephen: wow! i was going to question the legitimacy of our president, but first i got to hear what tv's superman and 51 year-old millennial has to say about candy corn! but to give fox their due, they did eventually cover the story everyone's talking about. >> reese's peanut butter cups is the most popular halloween candy according to a survey. >> stephen: no, i meant the day's biggest news. >> and this cheeseburger emoji causing a frenzy online. we've been talking about it all morning. can you see what's wrong with this picture? the cheese is underneath the hamburger. who does that? compared to competitors, google appears to be the only tech company putting cheese below the patty.
>> stephen: okay, this one i'm actually mad about. google, you don't put cheese below the burger! it's not a burger-cheese. you know how i found that out? i googled it! it seems like fox news is going out of its way to cover anything other than the mueller investigation. in fact, the only news network more focused on fluff is the one i started to boost the president's ego: real news tonight. let's take a look at their broadcast from today. >> welcome to real news tonight. our lead story tonight, nothing is going on in washington involving someone named paul manafort, if that is a real man. >> manafort sounds like a made up name to nee. jim anchorton. are millennials killing the hamburger industry? >> we have urgent breaking news,
consumers reports released their list of the top 100 pizza toppings. number one might not surprise you. cheese. >> jill, we have to cut off the very important story with this news. everyone knows the dancing girls emoji but apple is under fire for rumors they're satanic lesbians jns. >> news, george papadopolous is -- >> sorry to break you off. super mario -- >> sorry, jim. breaking, is i.s.i.s. targeting america's duck pond? >> chocolate is healthy. a newer report says chocolate will kill you. >> sorry, jill, have to cut you off. >> sorry, jim -- . sorry. that concludes our broadcast day. >> tune in tomorrow, millennial chat with dean cain. >> stephen: we've got a great show for you tonight. ( cheers and applause ) billy eichner is here, but when we come back: puppies!
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back! give it up for jon batiste and "stay human" right over there, ladies and gentlemen! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: folks, i'm a real animal lover. i especially love dogs which is why i do a segment on the "late show" called "rescue dog rescue," where a celebrity guest and i help find rescue dogs a home by lying about how great they are. ( laughter ) and i'm proud to say that, so far, every single dog that we have successfully been adopted.
( cheers and applause ) yeah. and i've got great news-- i'm about to do it again. it's time for another edition of "rescue dog rescue!" ♪ ( howling ) ( cheers and applause ) hello! of course, it is nearly all hallow's eve, so we've got a spoooooky batch of puppies back there. here to help me out is a man whose bark is worse than his bite, billy eichner! ( cheers and applause ) hi, billy! good to see ya! thanks for joining us, billy. are you excited to help lie about some puppies to find them new homes? >> yes! and that is the "first" lie-- because i have a serious dog allergy and they'll flare up if i hold a puppy. >> stephen: okay. that's not a joke. it's true.
what if i hold them and you just lie about them? >> i'm in! >> stephen: great! who have we got? oh, here we go! ( audience reacts ) oh, who's this little fella? oh, great. all right. before we get started -- a reminder: all the puppies we have here tonight are actual adoptable dogs from "north shore animal league america." ( cheers and applause ) first up -- yes, hello! hello! meet winnie. if you adopt this little banana, everyone will find you "appealing." ( laughter ) seriously, she releases an intoxicating pheromone that makes beautiful people want to have sex with you. ( laughter ) winnie reminds you, wrap that banana. ( laughter ) all right. who do we have next? >> this is zero! he's dressed as a doctor, but that's just a costume.
in reality, he's a high-powered class action attorney with a beautiful lake house. ( laughs ) doctor money isn't gonna put a wine cellar in your boat is it, zero? >> stephen: okay. up next, we have -- who's this? oh! this is binx. she's dressed like a shark, but ironically her favorite stephen spielberg movie isn't "jaws," it's "catch me if you can." ( laughter ) she thinks it's a stirring meditation on the pathos at the heart of american capitalism. seriously, she won't shut up about it. ( laughter ) let's see who we've got here. ( cheers and applause ) >> max is a football player who fully supports a player's right to kneel during the national anthem. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: yes!
who takes a stand against systemic racism? you do! >> but don't get too excited, he's also a global warming denier. wake up, max! anyway, you'll have some interesting conversations. >> stephen: all right, this little fella right here -- oh, hello! ( laughter ) ( applause ) this is little fella is chuckie. he's not dressed as the pope for halloween, he's actually starring in hbo's spin-off to "young pope," entitled "dog pope." ( laughter ) when he first saw the script, he wasn't sure about all the sex scenes, but eventually decided they were tasteful and necessary to the plot. ( laughter ) this cheerleader is kenny.
-- penny. "two-four-six-eight! who won't watch you masturbate?" also, more importantly, penny is a specially bred hypo allergenic-dog making her safe for everyone to cuddle with? >> really? amazing? >> stephen: no, billy! these have all been lies! you touch this dog, you will die! >> okay. well, that does it for "rescue dog rescue." >> i'm sure all the smoke is great for the dog, by the way. >> stephen: it's fine. dogs love carbon dioxide. ( laughter ) head to the "late show's" website: www.colbertlateshow.com for info on how to adopt these dogs from north shore animal league america. billy eichner everybody! >> thank you. >> stephen: we'll be right back with billy eichner! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) ♪ every time you call on me ♪ i drop what i do ♪ you are my best friend ♪ and we've got some things to do ♪
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! ladies and gentlemen, you know my first guest from "difficult people" and of course, "billy on the street." he now stars in "american horror story: cult." ( screaming ) what do you want from me in. >> answers. okay. what happened to meadow. kyle wanted ali to save her. i let her do it. i didn't know she was going to blow her brains out. >> you should have known, you're her husband and let her be manipulated. >manipulated.
you're talking about killing our wives? >> i didn't kill her. her death had more meaning thag any moment in her pathetic life. >> stephen: please welcome billy eichner! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> thank you. >> stephen: good to see you. thank you. >> stephen: good to see you. thank you. happy halloween. >> stephen: happy halloween. there was an extra banana costume backstage so here we are. >> stephen: yeah. billy, it's a really stunning clip, is it mostly just drama for you now? >> as you can see, i have become a very serious actor. ( laughter ) i'm really a chameleon.
that's not what i'm here to talk about. >> stephen: what are you here to talk about? >> i hate donald trump so much. ( cheers and applause ) that lying piece of (bleep). ( cheering ) i am sick of donald trump, with everybody who associates with him, and today is just the beginning. all the shoes are beginning to drop and i am here for it. that's right. you don't agree with me? ( cheering ) >> stephen: i think. no, hold on a second. you think halloween is so innocent? let me tell you something, anybody celebrating halloween this year is complicit! halloween is complicit! this is not a game! >> stephen: how is that complies it? >> my niece wants to dress up as wonder woman tomorrow night. i told her, no you're not, and i am dressing her up as congresswoman lisa murkowski
from alaska. that's right, and instead of walking around with a wonder woman shield, her job is to hold all children accountable. okay? ( laughter ) your kids shouldn't be looking for candy tomorrow night, they should be looking for answers. all right? ( cheers and applause ) that's right. that's right. >> stephen: that's nice. people doing the monster mash, they sayates graveyard smash. it's not, it's a distraction, okay? you see pumpkin carving, i see bullying. you see casper the friendly ghost, you know what i see when i look at casper the friendly ghost in white privilege. ( laughter ) i'm sick of it. >> stephen: so what else is on your mind? other than that. >> everything else is going really well for me, yeah. >> stephen: as well it should. yeah, i love doing "american horror story: cult," very fun experience. >> stephen: yeah. ( cheers and applause )
>> thank you! and what an honor it must have been for sarah paulson to work with me. >> stephen: absolutely, absolutely. i noticed because you're wearing a very, very tight yellow unitard, i would say, one piece underneath the banana. >> question. you're never going to find out. >> stephen: could i check out the guns? >> oh, sure. look at that. >> stephen: look at this. that's right. this banana is ripped. >> stephen: yeah. as much as i try to be healthy, people still get on me. i don't even consider it a vice. once in a while i like a soda. i like a diet coke. >> stephen: it's refreshing. right, it's very refreshing. it's a thirst-quencher, stephen. >> stephen: sure. i have a diet coke and my gay friends say, you're drinking diet coke? i'm, like, you do cocaine!
( applause ) they're literally on crystal meth and i can't have one diet coke? things are out of hand. >> stephen: i didn't know there was bad blood between the tbai community and diet coke community. i identify as a diet coke lover and i also love the gay community. do i have to choose? >> no, you can be anything you want in this life. you don't need to specify a preference, do what feels right to you. >> stephen: soda identity is fluid, they say. ( audience reacts ) ( cheers and applause ) >> so when's letterman coming back? ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: "american horror story: cult," let me ask you this. >> yes. >> stephen: i don't think of you as a dramatic actor. i think of you as a very funny
guy. >> okay. >> stephen: are you insulted i don't think of you as a dramatic actor? >> no, before i got into comedy and "billy on the street," i went to northwestern. >> stephen: so did i. we talked about this, we're both theater majors, i just wanted to be an actor. i wanted to be like john malkovich. >> stephen: really? i think he's a fine actor. >> stephen: he's a great actor. >> yeah, i'm just naming one person. ( laughter ) so i was doing plays and theater. i did a lot of things. i stumbled into comedy. >> stephen: how did you stumble into it? if you were going to be what we call a straight dramatic actor, how did you stumble into comedy? ( laughter ) >> well, i -- i would say -- ( laughter ) -- that -- ( laughter )
( applause ) very donald trump of you, by the way. >> stephen: do you miss "billy on the street" ever? >> i do miss "billy on the street" sometimes. i hope to get back to "billy on the street" soon, but i like playing "billy on the street" games. so when i'm not shooting "billy on the street," i miss playing those games. >> stephen: okay. i actually have a game i wrote because i'm not feeling "billy on the street," which i would like to play with you tonight. can we play this game? >> stephen: sure. i don't know what it. >> you guys want to see us play the game? ( cheers and applause ) this is a game i wrote specifically for tonight because halloween is tomorrow. i would say one of might be not my favorite movies but a guilty pleasure is the movie hocus pocus, which is like a halloween classic. >> stephen: yeah, of course. o i wrote a game just for you called hocus pocus or
trump's white house. ( laughter ) and i'm going to give you a fact, and you have to tell me if this fact is for the movie hocus pocus, trump's white house, or both. >> stephen: do we need a clock? >> yes, we can put a clock on it. >> stephen: how much time? i don't know, 60 seconds. >> stephen: let's get 60 seconds on this. somebody keep a watch. i'll get over here with you this way. >> okay. >> stephen: just because you're the quiz master and we're on the same level. >> great. >> stephen: 60 seconds. hit the buzzer in 60 seconds. >> if you think it's hocus pocus, say ho cues posus. if trump white house, say trump white house. if both, both. >> stephen: go. away we go! features a bunch of evil hateful women. >> stephen: both. yes both! yes! has inspired bette midler to do
a lot of screaming and complaining. >> stephen: both. yes, both! features homophobes. >> stephen: trump white house. trump's white house, yes! features misogynists. >> stephen: trump's white house. >> that's correct! >> stephen: features kathy from sister act. >> stephen: hocus pocus. inspires me want to reach through the tv and shake sarah huckabee sanders saying why are you doing this?! >> stephen: trump white house. inspires me to want to reach wilthrough the screen and shake sarah jessica parker while screaming why are you doing this? h>> stephen: hocus pocus. >> carlsen believes it's real. >> stephen: both! eems like it started almost as a joke but now for some reason we have to take it seriously. >> stephen: trump's white house. >> no, both! >> stephen: what? yes! has managed to con a lot of gullible people into thinking it's good.
>> stephen: both. both, yes! i know it's terrible but i'm always watching it. >> stephen: both. yes, that's correct. there aren't many black people in it. >> stephen: both. wurnt really popular at first but became pop law through an intense almost cult like following online. >> stephen: both. correct! ends with a lot of people going to jail. >> stephen: both. no, trump's white house! ( laughter ) ends with an uncredited cameo by penny marshall! >> stephen: both! no, hocus pocus! >> stephen: we don't know! you win anyway! >> stephen: "american horror story: cult" airs tuesdays on fx. billy eichner, everybody! we'll be right back with anna camp. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) it all started when sophia stopped into marshalls and found a mug for surprisingly little green. she paired that with some succulents. and suddenly something clicked. that surprise led to a stylish wood mirror,
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: welcome back to "the late show"! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: you know my next guest from the "pitch perfect" movies, "good girls revolt," and "unbreakable kimmy schmidt." please welcome anna camp! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) how are you? come on up here. there you go. hey, everybody! >> hi, hi, hi! >> stephen: how are you? i found out something seconds ago, literally. you're from south carolina? >> yes. >> stephen: i don't really hear an accent. >> sometimes on friday night if i have enough wine, it will come out. >> stephen: a little white wine. >> a little white wine, chardonnay. >> stephen: a little bourbon diet coke.
>> firefly. we need to go out. >> stephen: i want to party with you. >> where are you from. >> stephen: charleston-ish. mount pleasant. >> stephen: that's across the cooper riverbridge. >> yes, and my sister is here from south carolina, too, she's in the audience. >> stephen: shout out. where you at? >> stephen: there you go. hey, what's up, sis? where were you born? >> i was born in a small town called akin, south carolina. >> stephen: that's practically, georgia. >> it's kind of like it. and we moved to columbia. >> stephen: that's there. and now they live in rockhill and that's awesome. >> stephen: rockhill. sure, all over the place. >> i get off the phone with them and end up talking like this and my husband is, like, you have been on the phone with your family, haven't you? >> stephen: he's not from the south? >> no, new york. we have a good family combo going on, new york i tall jan jewish and southern family very
polite, my side of the family, it's great. >> stephen: they're polite, they just choose not to be polite. it's a hard to be a saint h the city. >> i get it, totally. >> stephen: now your amazon show, this is, you know -- >> this is funny. >> stephen: this is funny, interesting, maybe more than funny. >> right. >> stephen: your show "good girls revolt" revolved around sex discrimination lawsuit but it was on amazon, and the guy who canceled your show, roy price, has been forced out based on sexual harassment charges. >> interesting. >> stephen: two wrong make a right. don't you get to go back on air now? >> everyone was shocked when it was canceled based on the first discrimination lawsuit in 1969. we had a lot of fans who watched the show. we heard during the season 2 pitch the producers had to refer to us by the actors and not
characters' names because he didn't know who she was talking about because i don't think he watched the show maybe. so, yeah, we'll see what happens, but all the fans are being so supportive and i loved being on the show and i think it's actually more relevant now than it ever was. >> stephen: we heard from the "pitch perfect" movies. "pitch perfect 3" is coming out in december. >> yes ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: does your husband sing? >> my husband has the best voice, like better than anybody, it's the best. >> stephen: when you guys are at home together, is it like "pitch perfect" all the time? is it all close harmonies and choreography? >> we try. we have a little jingle. if we solve a problem, like the other day we had to install air conditioning when it was still so hot in new york, and we sing a little song, it goes -- ♪ anna camp and schuyler austin ♪
♪ making it work and making it lastin' ♪ ( laughter ) ( applause ) we're just that cheesy. >> stephen: is it always positive or does it get passive aggressive -- ♪ i took out the garbage last time. ♪ you got the do it now you lazy teared ♪ ( laughter ) >> i'll do that next time the trash doesn't get out. >> stephen: i found you can complain to your partner about your dog and it doesn't sound too mean. >> how? >> stephen: hey, hi! do you have any idea who maybe threw away the newspaper before i read it? say that to your dog. they go, oh, i tinted know it was you. i was asking the dog, maybe the dog had done it. >> i'm also going to use that. that's great. thanks. >> stephen: now, you're on broadway, now, with the lovely and talented elizabeth mcgovern here the show is called time in the conways.
what happens in "time and the conways," and is tim conway in it? >> everybody asks is this about tim conway? it's actually a play set in 1919 britain and has nothing to do with tim conway. it is a really beautiful play. there is time travel in it. we go from 1919 to 1937. >> stephen: a little time traveling or it just jumps time? >> there were space ships, there's no time travel machine. >> stephen: there is no time travel? >> you have to see the play. >> stephen: if you tell me there is time traveling, i'll see the play. >> there is time traveling. >> stephen: i'll go see the play. >> we age 20 years. >> stephen: you age 20 years? yeah, we get to see the family go from young, vibrant, to what happens 20 years from now. not everybody is so happy. it's kind of depressing. >> stephen: you should have stopped the time travel. do you travel back and fix everything? >> then we might go back to
happy town -- >> stephen: when you find out biff gets elected president. >> exactly. ( laughter ) >> stephen: you do not want that. >> no, exactly, we don't want that. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: no. ( piano riff ) lovely to meet y'all. >> so lovely to meet you. >> stephen: "time and the conways" is now on broadway. anna camp, everybody! we'll be right back with a performance by weezer. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) there was an old woman who lived in a shoe. she had so many children she had to buy lots of groceries. while she was shopping for organic fruits and veggies, burglars broke into her shoe. they stole her kids' mountain bikes and tablets along with her new juice press. luckily the geico insurance agency had helped her with homeowners insurance. she got full replacement on the stolen goods and started a mountain bike juice delivery service. call geico and see how affordable homeowners insurance can be.
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>> stephen: their new album, "pacific daydream," came out on friday. here performing "happy hour," ladies and gentlemen, weezer! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ i'm like stevie ray vaughan on the stage, high on music ♪ teeth grindin', sweatin' under the lights ♪ but then my boss calls and she's crushin' me ♪ with a 20-ton weight just like in monty python ♪ somebody left on the sink, it's still running
♪ my eyes are gonna overflow ♪ i need a happy hour on sad days ♪ i need a happy hour, i can't wait ♪ i'm like ponce de leon setting on a ship for the new world ♪ checking out the birds and flowers ♪ let's chill out on this island, i've been ♪ sucking on a lime and coconut, coconut ♪ i think i could stay here for the rest of my life ♪ please, don't ever make me go home ♪ i need a happy hour on sad days
♪ it's my happy hour, i can't wait ♪ maybe i'll meet a scientist in sweatpants and a hair tie ♪ we'll conversate about rare birds and midi keyboards ♪ and we'll slow dance, head on my shoulder ♪ swing back and forth and my friends are gonna smile ♪ everything's gonna be all right ♪ it's my happy hour on sad days i need a happy hour, ♪ i can't wait i need a happy hour, ♪ to save me
>> stephen: that's it for the "late show," everybody. tune in tomorrow, when my guests will be mark ruffalo, chris matthews, and gilbert gottfried. now, stick around for james corden and his guests, miles teller and whitney cummings. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show >> reggie: ladies and