tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC February 3, 2016 11:34pm-12:37am PST
on this picture, and they pointed you out, that it was a lovely piece of work there. >> he is a terrific character. he's kind of a pivitol character he helps them save the day. he saves their bacon towards the end of the film. >> outrageous fortune is the picture. >> it was a lot of fun. >> what else have you got? you usually have some other bizzare things going on in your career. >> well i have been offered some things since this came out. i wrote a sequel to the bible. i wrote it myself. >> a sequel to the bible? >> yeah, it's called bible two. >> bible two? >> yeah, it's not a very imaginative name, i was going to go with the bible rides again, or the bible joins the navy, the bible goes out west, the bible meets the wolfman. but they wanted to go with bible two, so i'm doing that. and also i'm happy to say, we're doing -- i have been very lucky, i have been picked for the all-black version of joni loves chachi. [ laughter ] >> so that is coming up. also i'm doing a film about a criminal with a limp. actually i have
so i'm not going to go any further. let's call that one down. >> one down. [ laughter ] >> and -- i have -- as you may know already, i have an interesting collection of central american underwear that i'm exhibiting this weekend. >> really? >> the honduran trapdoor skivvies are especially interesting, downtown at one of the local museums. >> uh-huh. >> i'm doing a benefit for the post- -- [ laughter ] >> what is the benefit for? >> for post grenada stress syndrome. a lot of these guys wake up and see a medical student with a suitcase and they just flip, you know. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i do what i can. [ applause ] >> i have got to interrupt this flow of -- >> oh, all right. >> sure, what the hey, a buck is a buck. sure, it comes right down to the bottom line. >> that's true. >> we're going to be back.
[ music ] >> okay, we're back. our next -- our next guest -- [ applause ] >> -- is a very pretty and talented actress who is one of the stars of the tv series falcon crest. would you welcome miss susan sullivan. [ cheers and applause ] [ music ] [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> a lot of kissing in show business, isn't there? >> i know. i know. >> a lot of hugging and kissing and all of that stuff. do you hate it when strangers come up and you met them for the first time and -- >> well it's a little disconcerting, i find it do it myself, which is even more disconcerting. and i go, why am i being such a phony. but i do it anyway. >> how are you? >> forgive me for kissing you. >> no, that's all right. i didn't know, i wasn't -- it was very nice. we're talking to george. george has been doing this show for 20 years. the first time you did this show was about a decade ago. >> ten years ago. i know it's amazing. >> do you remember it?
as a matter of fact, is it sheryl lee, that is coming on the show is doing her first show. she's sitting back there so calm, cool, and collected. i was a wreck. a wreck. i remember, i came out, and i was telling this story and i was rattling on, and in the middle of the story, i glanced over at you -- >> uh huh. >> i hesitate to tell you because it sounds like i am trying to flatter you, but you were looking at me in such a way -- it was male and female, but it was more than that. [ laughter ] >> he looks at me that way. >> it was male female, male-male. >> yeah. >> i really feel i need to explain because it was the only other person -- the only other person i know that ever did this was cary grant. >> oh. >> what a compliment that is. >> yes, yes, yes. >> he had a way and i went out with him just two or three times. he had a way of listening to people that it was extraordinary, it was so
all of his enormous intelligence and energy, he would listen to someone as if what they were saying was the most brilliant profound thing that was ever said. and that's the way you were looking at me. to the point -- wait, wait -- to the point that i literally stopped in the middle of whatever inane story i was telling and went -- hi. [ laughter ] >> and you went hi. [ laughter ] >> hi. >> and then i finished the story. >> yeah. was the old thrill still there? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> somehow i don't seem to be getting that same response tonight. >> i don't know. maybe it's the ten years will do it to you. >> is it true somebody told me you -- i don't know -- you had a dream in which i was -- not a participant -- not a participant -- i meant was in your dream. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> maybe it's because you were coming on this show. >> yeah, i think it probably was, do you have -- do you dream a lot? >> yeah.
recurring-type dreams. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah. i dream in black and white and then ted turner comes in colors or i dream in color and then he comes in -- yeah. >> do you remember any of them? >> sometimes dreams you wake up and you think it actually happened. >> well, this dream, it's not a terribly interesting dream. i am quite fascinated by dreams. and i analyze my own and anybody else's. >> let's analyze -- >> okay. and we have your triggers, i think george would be very good at these. we were in an underground garage. >> who is we? >> we -- the three of us. >> george was in your dream too? >> no, no, but i like george. >> well, you didn't put him in your dream now. >> no, it's too late. >> tomorrow night. >> he wasn't there, you can't now put him in there. >> you are right, i know. >> let him get his own dream. [ laughter ] >> you and i. >> you and i were in this dream. actually there was a third person in the dream.
garage, tulips underground. i think that's significant. and you had tulips. one was drooping. [ applause ] [ laughter ] >> it's too easy. i refuse to do a freudian analysis. just too easy. all right. i have a dropping tulip. >> but only one. you had five or six others, right up there. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> and you said to me in -- in your -- in your most gentle and boyish -- >> uh-huh. >> carsonesque quality. you said, listen i'm invited to this very big and important hollywood party, and my fiance -- i believed you said he name, i don't remember -- is out of town and could you go with me? and i was very flattered and very touched of course. and i said actually i can't
invited me this morning. end of dream. i woke up. [ laughter ] >> you probably made the right choice. [ laughter ] >> wasn't that interesting. >> yeah, so what do you get from it? nothing comes immediately to your mind. >> the underground garage is interesting. why would i have tulips in an underground garage. i don't even have tulips on the first floor, never. >> yeah, that's what caught my attention, and so do you have a hit on it -- >> i think it means you want a bicycle. [ laughter ] >> i think it means i want to substitute lobster for the parsley. i think that's what it means. >> could be. >> i have no idea what it means other than cary grant is dead and maybe -- >> they say people in your dreams don't sometimes represent the actual person. >> but for me you are cary grant and johnny carson. >> well that's very nice, i'm very flatted. i was fan of him since i was young. does your current boyfriend appear in your dreams? providing that you have a current boyfriend, not that it is any of my business, but it's my job to ask. [ laughter ]
>> well john -- >> no, no, no. [ cheers ] >> no, i don't. but i'll tell you i was talking to george backstage -- [ laughter ] >> you keep trying to get him in your dream -- >> i'm on the show, use me. you know... go. >> thank you. [ laughter ] >> i -- i really like comics. not necessarily -- i like -- i think i like the writing part. do you write your own material? >> uh-huh. >> do you write your own material? >> some of it, not all of it. [ laughter ] >> but most comics do write their own material? >> no. >> they don't? >> no, they don't. >> well, i like the writers then. i don't necessarily -- >> well, then you would like george. >> i like george. hi. [ laughter ] >> i have a bicycle by the way. [ laughter ] >> that's right. >> and how are you tulips. >> just fine all of six of them. >> why do you like comics? >> they are just interesting off-center minds. they are very -- >> it's sick.
>> sick. so my therapy is obviously not working. >> have you ever gone with a -- >> no. >> a humorous person? no? >> yes, yes, yes, but not that humorous. [ laughter ] >> i mean, i could go for somebody much more humorous than anybody that i have gone with that was humorous, because they weren't that humorous. >> there are a lot of young comedians here, but nobody to go with. [ laughter ] >> freddy is pointing as he usually does. we have to do this, but we have to come right back. i don't understand
[ applause ] to help preserve our environment. i got involved. i boosted tourism in my farm community by by painting 55 barn quilts. i got involved. i enjoy gardening and love delivering a fresh supply of produce and flowers to a local shelter. i got involved. young volunteers have a winning spirit that we think is worth celebrating. middle and high school students: ask your school principal about applying for a prudential spirit of community award. volunteer! i really want to show you something. karen o.: 1, 2, ready, go l-o-v-e it's a mystery all is love is love ow! ooh ooh... [howling]
[ cheers and applause ] [ music ] >> okay. foul. man through a flag on the play. [ applause ] >> george has been here for 20 years. you have been coming here for ten years. this young lady is making her first appearance. she is one of the stars of the series called it's a living. and she has recurring role in a very hot show right now, "l.a. law." and she got started in the broadway production of "dream girls." would you welcome please,
[ cheers and applause ] [ music ] >> well, i guess i got to ask, huh? are you -- are you insecure or? >> she's for you. she'll never leave you. >> she'll never leave me? >> never. >> isn't that sweet. >> i tried to do her hair like mine but it won't stay up there. >> is this something you made or is this a marketable doll? >> no, i have a big collection of dolls. >> really? >> yeah, i've been collecting since i was really little, my parents started me and she was part of it. and when i left, she said oh, i would like to go. >> do you keep stuff like this on your bed? >> no, i keep it in the living room. >> you ever walk in to a bedroom and you see little toys and so forth? [ laughter ] >> i'll remember that. how are you, it's nice to see you. >> thank you, it is a pleasure meeting you. you know, what was really nice is, i was back stage and we bumped into each other backstage and you were very nice.
>> what did you expect a till of the hundred? i said how are you? >> that's exactly what you said, you said how are you? and i was like golly, because sometimes when you do these shows and you meet people, they don't know who you are. they've never seen you before, and all they know is what's in that piece of paper. but you said hi, how are you? i'm glad to see you. [ laughter ] >> well, mother theresa and i have a lot in common. [ laughter ] >> good, good people. >> i like it. >> you do it's a living which is indicated and occasionally you do -- >> l.a. law. >> very hot show. >> very hot show. >> how do you manage those two? >> i have a wonderful schedule, it's called sick comes heaven, i do three weeks of it's living, then i do one week of something else. now i'm doing this the two shows, and in my spare time i do amen. >> yeah, that's right. yeah, so you like that, huh? >> yeah. >> so i'm doing amen, and i'm doing the last episode of the reason with -- i'm playing a sunday school teacher, and it's -- oh, you think that's funny, huh? [ laughter ]
be with clifton -- >> clifton davis. >> we'll see about his amorous affection for the sunday school teacher. >> you were on dream girls-- >> uh- huh. >> you weren't on a show before, because we has the gals on. >> yes, and that was the only heart break of the whole thing, the fact that the out here, and i couldn't come, because i was doing "search for >> you did a soap opera. >> yeah, i was doing search for tomorrow while i was >> isn't that one of the long-est running -- >> it is the longest-running soap opera on tv. so i was doing that, so i didn't get to come out, right? >> yeah. >> so honey i said, my god, coming to california and i'm not going to get to do the tonight show. that's what really upset me. >> oh i'm sorry, but you are here now. >> but i'm here now. i stood up there, and they opened the curtain and the lights went up and the audience applauded, and i said i can't believe it, i'm actually here. >> yeah. >> you know? wouldn't you like to be up here? [ applause ] >> yeah. that's right. >> what else have you always wanted to do that
>> well, i tell you the truth, i'm what you might call a late bloomer, and it's a -- i am -- and it's wonderful being a late blooming, because i'm blooming now and loving it. [ laughter ] >> you were shy when you were young or didn't date or -- >> well, it's not that i didn't date, it's like when i started to get socially aware it's when i got to college. and i was very young when i got to college when i was 16. >> college at 16? >> yes. >> that's unusual. >> i went to rutgers university, in fact, today i'm their youngest female graduate. [ applause ] >> thank you. >> good for you. so, when i got to college, you know it wasn't like i didn't really know so much -- in fact, i went to my senior prom, right, and this guy -- you know how you do things sometimes in the car? [ laughter ] >> and i just knew i wasn't a virgin anymore. i knew it was over. i would never be the same. [ laughter ]
[ laughter ] >> you mean you didn't know what you had done changed your virginity or what? >> well, there were certain things that happened and i said mommy why didn't you tell me these things. she said because i didn't think you needed to know. i was like, oh, my gosh. it happens. >> was it an unpleasant experience? >> well, he touched me -- >> we don't have to go into great detail. [ laughter ] >> it wasn't too bad. in fact it was kind of interesting. i had only just read about it, so it was interesting. [ laughter ] >> yeah, well, now do you have a current young man you are seeing? >> well, i don't have anybody that i'm dating like serious, serious, but i see christopher nancy is back there. the weatherman. >> yeah? >> yeah. i like it when he touches his little flower when he reads the weather. >> i tune in for that. [ laughter ] >> there have been rumors of me dating folks like magic, but i never dated him. >> magic johnson you're
the only woman i have never held her hand and i'm going marry her tomorrow. we have never done nothing. and then i was dating >> but nothing serious? >> not serious. i'm not getting married tomorrow. i used to think i really wanted to get married, but i have >> why is that? >> i bought a house. and i always thought you had to have a husband to have a house, but you don't, right? >> i don't think there's a legal -- >> exactly. [ applause ] >> i bought this house for myself, and then i bought this nice car, and i fur coat. so i said, my god, i have a fur coat, i have a house, a got a nice car, what do i need a husband for? >> you got a point there. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> good solid way of looking at it. [ laughter ] >> so what do you want? do you want to continue your career? >> oh, yeah, i want to continue my career, i want to do as much as i possibly can. i would like to eventually produce. >> yeah. >> i have a beauty video coming out -- >> really? >> yeah, i'm doing
[ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] [ music ] >> we're back. we have a minute or so. did you enjoy your appearance? you said you were so nervous you didn't tell your mother you were going to be on. >> no, so i have to call my -- i was very very nervous, the phone was ringing all day. people say is it the real tonight show or not the real tonight show or the other tonight show?. i said no, what do you mean the other tonight show? and they said, well is johnny hosting or not? because you know it's not the same if johnny is not hosting.
>> so i said, i know johnny will definitely -- >> call mom now. >> yeah, i'll call my mother and tell her. mommy please turn on the tv. >> well, it was nice having you here tonight. >> thank you very much. >> and good luck with your shows, susan we'll see you on falcon crest regularly and happy dreams. >> thank you. [ laughter ] >> i'll be seeing you. >> every night i'm available to appear in your dreams. and george where are you headed? >> i'll be in new orleans saturday night, and bouncing around the country as usual. >> okay. nice to have you here. good night. [ cheers and applause ]
>> i'm humbled by that applause. come and knock on our door come and knock on our door we've been waitin' for you we've been waitin' for you where the kisses are hers and hers and his three's company, too come and dance on our floor come and dance on our floor take a step that is new take a step that is new we've a lovable space that needs your face three's company, too you'll see that life is a ball again laughter is callin' for you down at our rendezvous down at our rendezvous
oh! please... have a little respect for the dying. you're not dying. i'm hoping to. tell me something. yeah? that awful girl at the party last night. yeah? the one who kept giggling and trying to do a striptease? yeah? that was me, wasn't it? yeah. eleanor must hate me. it was her wedding reception, and i ruined it. she didn't even notice. her labor pains started, and they rushed her off to the hospital. last night?
oh, wonderful! i sure hope that baby doesn't keep them awake at night on their honeymoon. look at that. i'd rather take a bath. it's all your fault. you made the punch. there was nothing wrong with the punch. oh? then why did the ladle turn green? well, i never made punch before. maybe there was something wrong with the gin or the tequila or the whiskey or the rum or the vodka or the... there's a man in there! a what?
see? yeah. is he a friend of yours? no. i never saw him before. maybe he's a burglar. sure. he came in to steal the bathtub and fell asleep on the job. we can't leave him there. there's a girl coming to look at eleanor's room. that's no problem. we'll just keep her out of the bathroom. what if she has to use the bathroom? that could be a problem. wait.
uh... good evening. good morning. good lord, is it morning? yes. yes, it is and if you don't mind a stupid question who are you? oh, i'm sorry. i'm jack. jack tripper. boy, that water's wet. you don't happen to have a towel handy? yeah. thank you. i'm chrissy. hi. this is janet. oh, yeah. i remember you. you were at the party last night. we gave the party last night. i was one of your guests. i came with a friend who knew one of the gate crashers. why were you sleeping in the bathtub? huh? i don't know. last thing i remember i had a glass of that terrible punch and then, everything went black. and green. isn't there
the one who was... eleanor. yeah. she had a boy. yeah, she must've. look, i'm sorry. i better be going. good. you can't go out like that. take your clothes off first. hmm? that party upstairs kept me awake till 3:00 in the morning. oh, really? i didn't think you could hear it over your snoring. i wouldn't have minded if i'd been invited. oh, you wouldn't have liked it, stanley-- all those young girls. you're not up to it. what does that mean? it's all you can do to keep the pot boilindown here. those girls better watch it, or out they go. look at that crack in the ceiling. their party did that. oh, that wasn't the party, stanley. that was the earthquake. what earthquake? the big one.
oh, it was thrilling. thrilling? yeah. it was the first time our bed moved in years. will you get your mind out of the bed and onto the ceiling?! this is my building. they should get my permission before they throw parties like that. come on, stanley. it was just a little party-- a going-away party for one of the girls. if you'd go away, i'd give a party. it's a shame you don't live in india. you'd be sacred there. and contented. which one of us will go up and complain? i think it should be the head of the house. right. i'll go when my nails are dry.
socks. shorts. anything else? only things that don't come off. here. you can put this on. me, wear this? you've got to be kidding. eleanor didn't like it, either. that's why she left it behind. it's the only thing we have that'll fit you. don't say anything. what do you think? i can't tell. i'm used to seeing it pregnant. if the guys at the gym could see me now they'd make me turn in my towel. would you put these in the oven? the oven?! can you think of a better way to dry them? uh, not too well-done, huh?
yeah. you can borrow mine. great. here you go. i have a very light beard. do you have any shaving cream? no. it will be painful. wait. try this. oh, yeah. thank you. this will be fine. what is it? we use it to clean the sink. oh, boy. you really loused up that toast. it's not my fault. eleanor didn't leave the recipe. are the scrambled eggs ready yet? yeah... for the garbage pail. hey, what's cooking? breakfast. you're just in time.
i'd rather you ate off the table. it started out as scrambled eggs. really? yes. i'm sure it's delicious. uh... i, uh... this... this is horrible. oh! do you think you could do any better? the proof will be in the eating. let me see what you got in here. okay. eggs, butter. we need mushrooms and onion. we'll start with that. start what? eggs madeira fungar. can you boil an egg? i don't know. eleanor always did the cooking. are you sure that you know what you're doing?
you are looking at the galloping gourmet of 1980. oh, it takes that long. you have to learn how to trot before you can gallop. who said that? now, for my special touch, i'll need some bread crumbs. i have some in my bed. never mind. i'll make my own. that's silly. nobody makes bread crumbs. they just sort of fall off the bread. i need some wine. do you have a bottle? no, but i can make one up from the party leftovers. good. does it have to be all one color? mm-hmm. could you get me a heaping tablespoon of milk? yeah. heaping? never mind. that's fine. ( doorbell rings ) who is it?
oh, come in. hey, don't you lock your door? whenever i think of it. you shouldn't take any chances. there've been a lot of robberies in this neighborhood lately. oh, yeah? look, honey, about all that noise you were making last night-- mrs. roper, i am really sorry. i was going to come down. right through the ceiling, we thought. i didn't mind all the music but, ooh, all that foul language. there wasn't any foul language. you weren't down there with mr. roper. we weren't the only ones making noise. he was beating on the ceiling with a broom handle. just keep it down next time, okay. you know what mr. roper's like: "i won't have any weirdos or hanky-panky in my house." he thinks queen victoria was a swinger.
[daughter] sometimes the hallways felt like a giant maze. [mother] jenny didn't feel like going to school, and she slept during the day and was up at night. she seemed irritable all the time. [daughter] it felt like there was a weight on my shoulders. and the weight was really hard to hold up. [mother] one day my daughter was crying, that's when jenny told us she thought about hurting herself. [daughter] then my parents got me treatment. that's when the bad feelings started to go away. a man up there-- in woman's clothes? that's right, stanley. he was wearing a girl's dressing gown but he didn't fool me. are you sure it was a man, not a woman? they all look alike nowadays. not to me, they don't. besides, i could see some little hairs on his chest peeping out. that doesn't prove anything.
i don't care whether you believe me or not but it was a man. i wonder what game is going on up there. oh, probably something delightfully kinky that only three can play. i'm going up there and bounce him out right on his ear. it is small, but then, most of the time i'll be out here with you gals, chin-wagging. yes. this is the kitchen where we chin our wags. this is jack tripper. hi. how do you do? we found him in the bathtub. really? mm-hmm. i found a spider in the bath once. they crawl up the drainpipe. it was a horrible, hairy little thing. i opened my mouth and screamed. i've kept the plug in it ever since. she could've fooled me. well, uh...
patricia. my friends call me pattykins. okay... patricia, the thing is we have a lot of other girls coming to look at the apartment. we have? we better have. ( doorbell rings ) i could come back tomorrow. well... where is he? mr. roper. there you are. those clothes s n't fool me a bit. this is our landlord. how do you do? i was just telling the girls... take off those clothes. i beg your pardon. "i beg your pardon." don't even sound like a girl. who do you think you're fooling?
what made you think that you could...? oh, my god! you dirty old man. i'm sorry. it's a mistake anybody can make. they don't look real. no, no, no! they look like a pair of... like a couple of... oh! he touched my bosoms. do you think he's taking too much geritol? i couldn't. i just couldn't live in the same house with a man... ( stammering )
come and get it. you sit here, chrissy. oh, how nice. ahem! oh, you sit there. i hope it's all right. it's the best i could do under these primitive conditions. mmm! mm? you don't care for it, huh? oh, it's nothing, really. any genius could have done it. my specialty is le langoustine grillade bas a france avec la salade doucette. what is that? french. eventually, i'm hoping to open up a little restaurant for people who can really appreciate high prices. this breakfast is good enough to eat. thank you. i enjoyed making it.
is that where you're staying? i can't afford anyplace else unless i can find someone to share an apartment with. are you thinking what i'm thinking? i think so. good. listen, jack, how would you like...? i like it already. but first, let's just talk it over. would you excuse us for a minute? what's there to talk over? i think he'd make a terrific roommate. so do i. okay. let's ask him. before we rush into this we should add up the pluses and minuses. all right. he is a great cook. both: plus. he would be good protection for us. both: plus. he's very good-looking.
minus?! minus! you saw the way he was looking at you. i know you, chrissy. you have a very low melting point. you're right. but with jack, i'll be strong. no, no, no. it will not work. you can't help yourself, chrissy. so i'm afraid you know what the answer's got to be. yeah. you'll have to be strong enough for both of us. here's your din-din. i'm telling you, helen. it was a woman. i have a very sensitive finger. look, stanley, i know a man when i see one-- mainly from memory, of course. what does that mean? it's been a long time since you laid your finger on me. you know something, helen. you've got enough mouth for three lips.
it's a him. it's a her. ( both arguing ) me, move in here with you two? are you serious? yeah. of course, you'll have to share everything. gladly. the rent, the food, the phone bill. oh, those. yeah, sure. well, what do you say? i need time to think it over. i'll take it. but first, let's just get one little thing straight. that is your room, and this is our room. one false move and we take you right to the vet. ooh. ( doorbell rings ) you can move in as soon as you like. hi. sorry to barge in again but me and the wife are having a disagreement about a certain matter of, uh... sex.
no, i don't want to borrow a book. no, it's about him. him? no, he's not the one. no, no, no. definitely not. this is our landlord. he's always doing that. hi. tripper, jack tripper. i'm moving in here. the one i saw was completely... oh, no, you're not. i'm not? moving in with two girls? not in my building. it'll be strictly platonic. i don't care. what does that mean? like you and me, stanley. even so, you can't move in here. well, i guess i'll put my pants on.
i'sorry, jack. yeah. so am i. that landlord of yours-- he's really the pits. ah, hot, hot! i shouldn't have let him push me around. i should've laid right into him. you still can. you won't mind? no. i'd enjoy it. you would? yeah. let's go. okay. mr. roper, i wouldn't live under your roof... it's all right, son. janet just explained it to us. i'm sorry i misjudged you.
you can move in. it's all right. oh. and we hope you'll be very happy here, dear. oh. ta-ta. how did you get him to change his mind? easy. i just convinced him that nothing would happen between jack and us. how did you do that? i told him that jack was a decent, respectable hard-working young man. and that did it? not quite. i also told him that you were gay.
come and knock on our door come and knock on our door we've been waitin' for you we've been waitin' for you where the kisses are hers and hers and his three's company, too come and dance on our floor come and dance on our floor take a step that is new take a step that is new we've a lovable space that needs your face three's company, too you'll see that life is a ball again laughter is callin' for you down at our rendezvous down at our rendezvous
oh, mr. roper. our smiling landlord. i'm here to fix your doorbell. and mrs. roper. i'm caddying. would have been here sooner but i've been very busy. yeah, busy napping in your armchair. i wasn't napping in my armchair. i was watching television with my eyes closed. when i want to sleep, i go to bed. and when he goes to bed, he wants to sleep. what's wrong with that? oh, fix the doorbell, stanley.
you know, it's too bad your fairy roommate ain't checked in yet. why? he can fix this without a ladder. just fly up here. stanley was born with that sense of humor. that and a few other birth defects. here's your problem right here. see these wires-- they're loose. isn't that brilliant? how'd they get loose? maybe it's like shoe laces. if you don't tie the bows tight enough... wires don't get loose by themselves. stanley, be careful. i know what i'm doing. i just want to get to the bottom of this. you been playing around with these wires? girls got to have some fun. all right, captain queeg, you got your confession. now make the bell go ding-dong. thanks for helping me
you don't have to take 'em inside. i wasn't going to. look, i'm sorry about that jar of pickled onions i broke in your cab. but, uh, if you keep all the windows open the smell should be gone in about, uh... a month. yeah, with any luck. yeah, that's 2.75. oh, yeah, i got it right here. ( screaming ) interesting doorbell. ( screaming ) i didn't hear nothing. i didn't see nothing and i don't know nothing. what happened? he's trying to tell you someone's ringing the doorbell. hi, jack. come on in. oh, hi. couldn't you knock?
i don't want to go to bed i want to watch name that tune. that's his favorite program. ever since he guessed "the star spangled banner" in seven notes. what about the doorbell? i'll fix it later. unless... the interior decorator here would like to do it. i'm not an interior decorator. oh, no, i thought all you f-f-f-fellows were. what fellows? you know... tinkerbells. oh, i see what you mean. no, actually not all of us are interior decorators. some of us are, uh, boxers. no kidding? no kidding. you mean, you'd actually hit another guy? oh, only if he made fun of us.