tv Today NBC February 18, 2016 10:00am-11:00am PST
[clears throat] [sighs] good morning, master. oh, hi, jeannie. [giggling] there you are. well, thank you. well, you've been a busy little bee, haven't you? well, you do not want to be late. well, what's my hurry? i haven't even had breakfast yet. oh, there you are. you have a good day at the office, master. yeah, i have the distinct feeling you're trying to get rid of me. uh, is that true? [laughs] of course not, master. oh.
hi, jeannie. gee, i'd love a glass of that. goodbye, major healey. jeannie. you don't find that kind of hospitality anymore. yeah. please go. no, i'm not leaving here until i find out what this is all about. neither am i. well, we are going to have a visitor. [laughing] your mother is coming. no. it is worse than that. his mother. no, another genie is coming. another what? well, eh, i-- i have been ordered to have her here, and i-it is a new genie, and every new genie must spend one day with an old genie. and-- i am the old genie that the new genie is going to spend the day with. well, what's wrong with that? what's wrong with that? what if she is younger and more beautiful than i am after i have spent the best years of my life with my master? younger and more beautiful? what if she falls in love with me? oh, just think, my own personal young and beautiful genie. [magic whirring] yeah--
they did not tell me it would be a man. my name is harold. there's been some kind of mistake. you have to go back to where you came from. oh, great and noble master, i am here to serve your every-- oh, oh, not him. him. oh. oh, great and noble master, i am here to serve your every desire-- harold. har-- would you get off my coffee table? look, i-- i've already got my own genie, so you're just gonna have to run along. [thunder crashing] what was that? dad. [scoffs] dad? yeah, he's a little overprotective. you are his son? his number-one son. [inhales] uh, whose son?
you mean, uh, the head, haji? you mean--? uh, would--? would you get off my coffee table, please? you mean the number-one--? the--? the--? the top haji? i am afraid so, master. [chuckles] well, it is only for one day. sure, relax. i mean, what--? what can happen? well, i'm not wild about finding out. uh... uh, uh, harold, wh-whatever your name is. i-- i-- i'm sorry to do this to you. but why don't you just run along to where you went--? [thunder crashing] why don't you make yourself comfortable? sit down here. would you like a nice, uh, uh, glass of orange juice? thank you, master. right. nice kid. oh. well, kind of messy around here. oh, i'll fix that. that's what i am here for. oh, yeah? great, great. oh, great. thank you, master. harold, the-- the fire goes at the bottom.
hey, jeannie, would you do something? yes, master. [blowing] [laughing] oh, i don't mean that. i mean, make it disappear. oh, i cannot, master. why not? oh, haji would not permit it. i-i'm sure he would rather harold do it himself. well, haji's house is not on fire. i am your master, and i'm ordering you to do it. would you do it, please? he will be angry. well, let him. i don't care. let him be angry. [thunder crashes] [screams] oh, i wish dad would relax. [panting] can you get rid of him, huh? [thunder crashes] i must apologize. mother isn't like this at all. uh, master, you and major healey go on to the office. and-- and harold and i will have everything cleaned up by the time you come back. well, tha-- that's not a bad idea. well-- you-- you take care of everything, all right? bye, harold. it's been a pleasure meeting you. roger, come on. i will drive you to the office. no, don't bother. yeah, we'd like to get there.
he sure is a nice master. yes, he is. i wish he were mine. [door closes] i don't know where she picks up these people. every time i turn around-- ready when you are, master. just about four months, you see. roger and i both came in the project about five years ago. gentlemen, would you kindly--? gentlemen, would you kindly move, please? now i can take one of the group. just let me get the picture first. now, watch it. now smile. give me that smile. here we go. good. oh, i think he got my bad side. uh, major, can i take one of you alone? oh, excuse me. just give me a second. no, not you, sir. major nelson. oh, that major. yes. nice going, master. you're very popular. what are you doing here? i just wanted to ask you a couple of questions. not, you. not you. i'm sorry. go ahead. i-- i understand that the president's coming down here
[chuckles nervously] could we continue this over here, please? uh, yes, now-- yes, major-- get. now, about the president coming down here to see you-- oh, the president. oh, master! [chuckles nervously] i wonder if we could continue this some other time. i have a touch of space fatigue. master. master. did--? did they just call you "master"? yeah, it's a little nickname they have for me here at nasa. yes, i understand, major, but-- may i have one more take before you leave? uh, well, uh, uh, is it really necessary? i-- i-- you do understand. [magic boings] could we do it another time? all right, here we go. watch the birdie. [jeannie screams] hey, wait a minute. wait. come on, will ya? get up. i certainly hope the press doesn't make too much
i'm sure they won't, sir. i can't understand what happened. the photographer-- uh, sir, would you tell us more about the president coming? oh, uh, yes. well, now, the, uh-- the president felt that, uh, he wanted to do something personal. you know, something without a lot of ceremony. so he's coming to your house for dinner. the president's coming to my house for dinner? a mr. pinter, from the white house, will go to your house with you and go over everything. as a matter of fact, he's waiting for you right now at general walton's office. uh, now--? right now? yes, that's the big surprise. the president is having dinner at your house tonight. tonight? but he-- tonight? but he can't do that tonight. yes. well, i must say, i didn't expect you to be that nervous. well, i'm sorry. he-- he can't come tonight. why not? because it's the cook's night out. the president will have to come tomorrow. all there is to it. major, we mustn't keep mr. pinter waiting. yeahwe mustn't be-- keep mr. pinter waiting.
listen, you get over to the house. huh? get over to the house and tell jeannie to get rid of harold. i don't care how. he can't be there when the president gets there. right. major? sorry, sir. i'll clean it for you later. jeannie? harold? jea--? jeannie? harold? jeannie! [middle eastern music playing] wow! what--? what's going on anyway? this is to entertain the president. yeah, i know, the president. millard fillmore. mil--? millard fillmore? oh, you've gotta get all of this outta here. get most of this out of here. wait a minute. oh, wait a minute. you gotta get rid of everything. get rid of this all. oh, no, i don't smoke. i've got a headache. you've gotta do something-- are you all right, major healey? i'm not sure.
you've gotta get rid of harold and all of this. jeannie: well, i do not know what i can do. well, why don't you send them over to my place? ooh. oh, what am i saying? [car approaching] [brakes screech] they're here. they're here. get rid of this mess. get rid of everything. get rid of the mess! don't worry, i'll take care of it. that is my job. i'll take care of it. no, i'll take care of it. i think it'd be better-- no, no, no, i will take care of it! i will take care of it! somebody take care of it. there's a fine, little french restaurant down the street. i'm sure the president would enjoy that, sir. there's nothing to worry about. we'll put security guards at both ends of the street. well, what's not really the problem, you see. [middle eastern music playing] i wanna do it! i wanna do it! it's my job! it's my job! i want to do i--! we'd better let him have a go at it. i wa-- all right. but now, concentrate, harold.
that sounds like it's coming from the inside of your house, major. uh, what sounds like it's coming from the inside of my house? that music. oh, yes. well, i often keep the radio on to frighten burglars away. uh, why don't you open the door, major? [chuckling] i'm afraid-- of burglars? yes. oh, yes. um, i-- uh, sometimes i bring home classified material, and i-- oh, nonsense, major. open the door. op-- i bring some papers home, you know-- open the door, major. yes, sir. [knob clicking] hey, what is that? [gasps] uh, oh, you found it. well, that's... major. yes? what are we waiting for? [sighs]
how would the president feel about a mexican meal? there's a wonderful little restaurant about-- and how would the major feel about going inside, if you don't mind? yes, sir. just the key. [sighs] i'll get that. i'm terribly sorry. all right. i'll look over here. try again, harold. yeah, harold. okay. good. not bad, huh? and now for the belly dancer. yeah, for the belly dancer. wait! whoa! not yet. what am i saying? go ahead. okay. oh, good. good, good. [sighs] now get rid of yourself. i'm not leaving. oh, we will hide. how would that be, harold? yeah, yeah, hide. good idea. in the closet. i don't wanna hide. i wanna see my master. [thunder crashes] i mean you shouldn't, heh. jeannie, think of something. i have, heh. we will stay here, harold, but we will disguise ourselves. how would that be? oh, goody-goody.
major, may we please go in? well, i'm looking for the key, sir. i-- i-- you just had the door open. tony: well, it was here somewhere. i-- i know it's around here. oh, just a minute, sir. hello, major healey. [machine whirring] oh, mr. pinter, this is, uh, major healey. what's that noise? uh, oh, uh, uh, well, that's the cleaning crew, sir. you know, the, uh, cleaning crew? i hired a couple to clean the house. wasn't that a good idea, tony? oh, yeah. well, everything looks fine. uh, everything looks like it's about done. we haven't finished yet. yes, you have. daddy wouldn't like that. his father says he should always finish anything he starts.
i think he does. here, i'll clean that. no, i'll clean it. i'll clean it. no, i'll do it. gentlemen, we haven't too much time. may we proceed, please? of course, mr. pinter. now, as a general rule, the white house prefers to waive as much protocol as possible in affairs of this nature. i would say a general feeling of informality should prevail. uh, what would the president prefer for dinner? rack of lamb. the president's gonna have dinner here? that's right, harold. goodbye. goodbye? i'm gonna cook dinner for him. my first day on the job. won't my father be proud? no-- i thought he was the cleaning man. he's a jack-of-all-trades. tony: hey! harold? oh, well, i never-- what? don't worry. i'll fix it. please, don't worry. i'm terribly sorry about this. they're new on the job. well, i should think you might be.
tony: i, uh-- there you are. good as new. harold, perhaps we should go clean the kitchen. yeah, right. i apologize, mr. pinter. where did you find that cleaning man? where did you find that cleaning man? where--? where--? where--? where'd we get the cleaning man? well, maybe you'd like to go back and change your clothes at your hotel. i'd rather get this over with as soon as possible. now, the president will enter first. he will be followed by general walton. there's a very nice rack-of-lamb house right on the edge of town. president's probably tired of eating home-cooked-- the president was very specific. he will dine here tonight. now, may i inspect the kitchen? tell me the truth. do you think i made a good impression? harold, why do you not try another line of work? this was my dad's idea. i wanted to be a chariot driver. harold, do not stir the salad. toss it.
roger, where did you get those people anyway, huh? i don't understand why you should ever-- the president prefers roquefort. i'm terribly sorry about the-- tony: i-- uh, sir, please, uh... can't i even mash the potatoes? now, remember our deal. you will not do anything all evening, and i will have a chariot race with you tomorrow. i can't wait. the last race i had was with ben-hur. who won? it's not who won. it's how you play the game. hi, uh, h--? how's everything coming, huh? oh, wonderfully, master. there, the potatoes are finished. the dessert is made. i will now just finish the garlic bread, and i will put the lamb in just before the president arrives. zachary taylor. what about him? oh, you will not have to worry about harold. oh, all right. now, i'm gonna go and take a shower and change clothes, huh? i wish i could stay and watch. bite your tongue. yes, master.
it was just an expression. just think, the president here for dinner. even your father will be impressed by that. except i have nothing to do with it. i mean, you're supposed to be training me. i tell you what, you can get the lamb out of the freezer. big deal. where is it? it is right here on top. i will go set the table. it's not here. jeannie! it-- she must have left it at the market. jeannie! what do i need her for? dad will be real proud of me. yeah, lamb. [sheep bleating] jeannie: master! huh? [sheep bleating] harold, do something. oh, i did. i'm afraid to do any more. i'll get 'em out one by one. [shrieks] oh, no.
[sheep bleating] [muttering] aagh! jeannie. jeannie, what have you done? what--? jeannie, what have you done? [doorbell rings] it's him. the president of the united states is right outside my door. you know that? master, does he like sheep? would you please get rid of these? i cannot. harold did it. well, harold, would you get rid of 'em? if the president liked fish, this never would have happened. master, master, they are gone. huh? oh. oh, sorry. thanks, jeannie. oh, it was not i. well, thanks, harold. i'm sor-- it was not i.
good night, mr. president. it was a delicious dinner, major. i'm glad you could make it. good night. good night. [chuckling] what can i say? [chuckles slyly] [chuckles] yeah. yeah. [clears throat] good night, major. frankly, i couldn't have been more surprised. well, i'm glad you had a good time, sir. "good"...
good night, major. [mumbles indistinctly] [sighs] [chuckles] oh, boy. it was a lovely party, master. [chuckles] you were here? oh, yes. and i saw everything, and you were wonderful. you should be the president. [both laugh] it was great-- har--? where's harold? oh, he has gone. for good? oh, for good. are you sure? i am sure, master. [both laugh] all right, let's celebrate. i'll open a bottle of champagne and-- [crash] [coughing]
beautiful, huh, roge? oh-- oh-- oh, beautiful. oh. i can't wait to get down on that beach with all those beautiful girls. yeah, we're here to do a little work too, you know. that's what i mean. let's go to work. we don't have to report until tomorrow. yeah, i wish i could have brought jeannie. and you brought jeannie? ho-ho. that's like the titanic bringing along its own iceberg. look at that view. is that something, huh? do you realize how high up we were? well, here's the beach. there's the girls. roger: you look at that. do you see that? tony: huh? i can't believe that. oh, yeah. oh, lookit. this is going to be a fun trip, i tell you. oh, what a hunting ground this is going to be. oh, i'm gonna take two of those, one of those, four of those, about five of those-- roger, sit down, will you? check your watch. i'll bet you in 60 seconds, we will have every one of these girls swarming around us like-- like a bunch of lemmings. uh, roger, i got work to do.
all right, 5 bucks. ah, you're on. five bucks. watch this. [clears throat, whistles] [sighs] just look at that moon! look at that moon. roger, will-- will you sit down? you take the dark side. i'll take the light. just the two of us are going to be going 100,000 miles into space, touching the stars. star-touching. do you think it's sunstroke? moonstroke. let's get out of here before he goes into orbit. hey, wait a minute. that's tony nelson, the astronaut. wait, it can't be. and me too. that is tony nelson. oh. hi, aren't you major nelson? oh, yes. yes. i've been dying to meet you. [chuckles] may i have your autograph? i don't have any paper, but you could write on my back. i won't wash. i'm eleanor, and i'm at the hotel. i'm free for dinner if you are. i'm free for breakfast. [laughs] well... my father owns most of it. yeah. well, i tell you, i-- this is the famous major nelson, and i'm the famous roger healey. oh, yes, this is roger healey. we're gonna be here a whole week.
to go around for everybody. just give us your addresses and your names. we can work out a schedule. it's getting awfully crowded around here. why don't we go inside? yeah, let's go. we'll all go inside. uh, look, i don't know if i can make it. maybe if you all would put your names down here, and i can-- i could have breakfast with you...
[chanting in foreign dialect] [gasps] ooh! the north pole?! mmm! say, i have a marvelous idea. [chuckles] so do i. we're going to dinner tonight, aren't we? mm-hm. tonight, tomorrow night... and the next-- no. no? well, uh, th-- the-- there's no sense in wasting any time. why don't you go into the, uh-- uh, restaurant, and make a reservation for the table tonight? i'm all full of oil. but tony-- i'll be waiting for you right here. all right. okay.
[clears throat] hi, jeannie. what are you doing here? i decided to come to the north pole so i could suffer with you. yea-- well, you see-- even though icy winds went through me at 100 miles an hour. yeah, well, a funny thing happened on the way to the north pole. and my ears fell off. now, i can explain that. you see, i-- jeannie. what do you think you're doing? i want to make sure you do not catch pneumonia, master. yeah, but-- wait a minute. this thing won't come off. i know. enjoy yourself, master. now, wait a minute... major nelson. oh, yes, sir. hi. that's a parka. it's either that or he's grown all that hair. [both laugh] good. would you mind explaining what you're doing in a parka on waikiki beach in july? yes.
well, it's a-- it's a-- well, i-- it's a new method of weight control, sir. uh, you see, the perspiration builds up to a certain level-- get out of that outfit now, major. you're making a spectacle of yourself. i'm trying here. it-- well...? i'd-- i'd better go up to my room. yes. do that. tell me, darling, wouldn't you call that abnormal behavior pattern? no. i think it's kooky. oh... hi. hi, jeannie. i like the north pole. i'm sorry, jeannie. i shouldn't have deceived you. oh. did you deceive me, master? yeah, and... i-- i'm sorry about that. i'll just face the court-martial. what court-martial? shh!
th-- they can only give me five or 10 years in prison. my secret mission-- no! i did not know you were on a secret mission. when i saw you with that girl, i thought that you-- well... i will never distrust you again, master. who is that girl? uh, that's the princess maja. oil. oil? uh-- yea-- oh, yes, her father controls all the oil in the middle east. that's why i have to have dinner with her tonight and tomorrow night... but i do not-- shh. see that dangerous-looking man she's talking to now? tony: that's ali mustafa. he's after the oil. he is? he and his men tried to kidnap her last night. jeannie: they tried to kidnap her? that's terrible. but i still do not understand why you have to take her-- sh. [screams] oh, i am sorry. did i hurt you? oh, no, i'm... i'm... uh... oh, you're don ho. yes, but never mind that.
oh, yes, i'm fine. i just saw your act the other night. you were marvelous. thank you. we're there every night for pretty girls like you. see the other man she's talking to now? yes. that's rubulkien the deadly. the deadly? jeannie, this place is a hotbed of intrigue. one false move and: i did not know. jeannie... i want you to do something for me. oh, anything, master. go home. oh, no! master? master, no. i love intrigue. i will stay and help you. yeah-- but-- i-- i-- i know that. but i really don't need any of your help. i have everything under control. you see, if i can see the princess tonight and tomorrow night and the next night, and-- everything will work out exactly the way i want it to. do you think i would leave you at the mercy of those kidnappers and rubulkien the deadly? yes, i know. but i don't-- you said you need oil? yes. then i will watch rubulkien for you,
[daughter] sometimes the hallways felt like a giant maze. [mother] jenny didn't feel like going to school, and she slept during the day and was up at night. she seemed irritable all the time. [daughter] it felt like there was a weight on my shoulders. and the weight was really hard to hold up. [mother] one day my daughter was crying, that's when jenny told us she thought about hurting herself. [daughter] then my parents got me treatment. that's when the bad feelings started to go away. hey dad! how 'bout this one?
t nice try. hey. try this one. and i think your dad will go for it. for more info, there's a rating search app. and you can set parental controls at home alright thanks. i'll check that out. let's see if you can beat your old man at this one. game on. let's do this! [female narrator] check the ratings. because some games are for kids. some aren't. visit esrb dot org. are you sure you're not gonna have a problem with jeannie? no. not only is she gonna allow me to go to dinner with eleanor, she's gonna insist upon it. well, you don't know jeannie. [chuckles] you keep forgetting i'm smarter than she is. master. uh-- yes. i have been following rubulkien. and you would not believe this... but he put a strange mask on his face, and took a spear and went under the water. [snaps] i was afraid of that. afraid of that? well, that's a snorkel. they use that when they go underwater-- yeah, you're right, roge. snorkel el hassan. that's his cousin.
a secret meeting place underwater? why would--? you're right again. i'm gonna have to have dinner with the princess tonight, but... how am i gonna keep an eye on rubulkien? rubulkien? the deadly. oh, that rubulkien. do not worry, master. i will keep an eye on him for you. would somebody mind telling me what's going on? well, he does not know why he is here? he does not know about the oil? and-- and-- and ali mustafa--? i told you, it's top-secret. nobody knows about it except me. [whispering] oh. i am sorry, master. yeah. me too. sorry i eavesdropped. i'm counting on you, jeannie. yes, master. [laughs] didn't i tell you i can handle it? yeah. that was good. yeah, you were good. uh, tony... hm? if i promise not to say anything, would--? would you mind telling me about our secret oil mission. [clears throat] this is an adorable place, isn't it? well, if you like adorable things, we'll get along fine. [laughs] would you care to order now?
[stomps foot] ooh! oh, i'm sorry. are you kidding? don't you recognize who--? roge. i'm sorry. wait. but you can't-- oh--! oh, yeah. let's eat. i'm hungry. what are you doing here? i am keeping an eye on mr. rubulkien. good. good. uh, what would you like to start with? oh, it really doesn't matter. tony, i was thinking, do you really have to leave sunday? oh, yeah. sunday, everything ought to be [mouthing] uh... uh... well, you know, s-settled. heh. uh-- uh, no, i-- i don't know. what do you mean by settled? [mouthing] uh-- well, i-- the-- that talk i'm gonna have with your father. oh, tony. no. not now. oh! not here. no. oh. oh. [clears throat] i must go now. heh. but i will be right back. [hawaiian music playing] [clears throat] uh, it's, uh-- the service is really not-- excuse me. yes? oh, yes, ma'am. aren't you major nelson, the astronaut? uh, yes. may i have your autograph?
"to natalie." where are you from, natalie? chicago. major healey? oh, yes. could i? oh, i'd love to. i just happen to have a pen right there. it's just, you know, i'll sign that-- thank you. yeah. that's the one. i-- my-- uh, maybe we can, uh-- yes? yes? major nelson, may i have your autograph? to frances. "to frances"? to frances. frances, my--? can i have my--? there you are, frances. --pen back? oh, thank you. ma'am. thank you. thank you. no. thank you, ma'am. thank you. thank you, thank you. thank you. thank you very much. uh-- well, maybe i could visit you in chicago. thank you. [chuckles] hey. let's-- let's get out of here. yeah, let's-- [drum roll] ladies and gentlemen, at this time we're very proud to present hawaii's favorite son: the wild, unpredictable mr. don ho. [all applaud] [band plays] thank you very much, everybody. if your pretty little girl leaves you hung up
she left you standing there with a pair of movie tickets tear up the tickets brother, don't complain 'cause it ain't 'cause it ain't no, it ain't no, it ain't all: ain't no big thing there you go. ain't no big thing. all: ain't no big thing, brother when things ain't looking up ain't no big thing when there ain't no coffee to fill the cup oh, the good times are coming let them roll let them roll now, if your ma-in-law starts getting huffy a-walking around your pad with a long face you just go out and you buy her a one-way passage and you tell her go join the astronauts in outer space 'cause it ain't 'cause it ain't no, it ain't no, it ain't all: ain't no big thing
ain't no big thing when there ain't no coffee to fill the cup oh, the good times are coming let them roll let them roll now well, now, there ain't no big thing, brother, when... [whispering] master? yes? they call rubulkien the deadly "don ho." yeah. that's his alias. his alias? his cover. oh. he does it very well. thank you. [song ends] [audience applauds] [mouths] thank you. [slow song begins]
in the days sing, child, sing of my youth the days of my youth [audience applauds] [inaudible words] thank you very much. uh, i-- i think we ought to be going. yes, i...think we ought to be going. okay. uh, waiter. uh, could i have the check, please? yeah. here's the check. oh. uh... cigars, cigarettes. cigars, cigarettes. where are you going? the princess wanted to leave. i better keep an eye on her. oh, very well. i will keep an eye on rubulkien. good. good. do you like my disguise, master? shh! shh! yeah. i don't think anybody would ever recognize you in a million years. yeah, well, i just finished getting dressed, okay? yeah, i'll be down in a minute.
where's major nels? out with the admiral's daughter. oh. he's out with the admiral-- with the princess. you mean the admiral's daughter. she is not a princess. not a full-fledged princess. that means there is no oil. there's a little oil. and there's-- ooh! i didn't say there was no-- my master has done it again! just-- now, relax. the admiral ordered him to take her out. oh-ho. oh. oh, oh, oh. hold on. hold on. sorry. yeah.
[inaudible words] band: ain't no big thing don ho: all together now all: ain't no big thing, brother when things ain't looking up ain't no big thing when there ain't no coffee to fill the cup no, the good times are coming let 'em roll let 'em roll, baby don ho: ain't no big thing, gang all: well, there ain't no big thing, brother when things ain't looking up ain't no big thing when there ain't no coffee to fill the cup no, the good times are coming let them roll
green acres is the place to be farm livin' is the life for me land spreadin' out so far and wide keep manhattan, just give me that countryside new york is where i'd rather stay i get allergic smelling hay i just adore a penthouse view darling, i love you, but give me park avenue the chores the stores fresh air times square you are my wife good-bye, city life green acres, we are there