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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  March 2, 2016 10:34pm-11:37pm MST

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[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests --
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rachel maddow, musical guest santigold, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 429! woo! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! hi, everybody! hello, welcome. [ cheers and applause ] hi, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone. welcome to "the tonight show." thank you for being here. [ cheers and applause ] great new york city crowd. hot crowd.
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good to see you guys. we're gonna have fun tonight. this is a good show. this is a great show to be at tonight. this is the one. this is the one to watch. >> audience: yes it is! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: well, here's what everyone's talking about. of course, yesterday was super tuesday. and it looks like it's gonna come down to donald trump versus hillary clinton for the presidency. even the alien and predator are like, "this is too scary to watch." [ laughter and applause ] that's right. donald trump won the most states of the republican candidates yesterday, but ted cruz also picked up enough delegates to keep the race close. that's right. experts say they're now necks and necks. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: that's a tight race. >> jimmy: yeah. and chris christie stood right behind trump at his victory speech last night. [ audience ohs ] and a lot of people noticed that christie didn't look too happy about it. check this -- check this out. look at this. >> the virginia win was just a
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a place that is just spectacular and a place that we have big investments in, as we have in florida. remember, we have thousands of employees in florida, all along miami, doral, mar-a-lago. >> jimmy: at this point, christie's face is basically america's face. it's like -- it's really happening? [ laughter and applause ] did you guys hear this? it was revealed recently that donald trump is pretty sensitive about the size of his hands. [ light laughter ] actually, it caused some of the candidates and media outlets to joke that he's got really small hands. and i think it's finally getting to him. and check out -- check him out after his speech last tonight. >> no country can sustain that kind of -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's odd. don't you think that's odd? that's a little odd, right? >> steve: it's a little weird. >> jimmy: and hillary clinton had a big night, picking up victories in seven states. [ cheers ] while speaking in miami last night hillary said, quote, "i believe what we need in america
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[ cheers and applause ] then she added, "and i will crush anyone who won't let me do it." [ laughter ] crush! [ applause ] actually, during her victory rally last night, one of the things hillary said was that she wants to build a ladder of opportunity. then people in mexico said, "great, we'll use it to climb wall." we'll get over the wall, build a ladder. this is pretty weird. when fox news projected that hillary clinton won the tennessee primary last night, they showed a very precise percentage for her vote total. take a look at this. yeah. [ laughter ] 66.6. when asked if that meant anything, hillary's like, "of course not!" i mean, "of course not, ha ha ha." [ applause ] but it's all -- it's not all good news for hillary. her last batch of her private server e-mails was released
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e-mails clinton complains about some trouble with her fax machine. hillary's exact words were, "this piece of crap isn't shredding anything." [ laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: not working. not working. fax machine's broke. meanwhile, bill clinton was campaigning for hillary at polling places in boston. and some said that he broke the rule that you can't campaign within 150 feet of people who are voting. then bill said, "trust me, there's a lot of people i'm not allowed to be within 150 feet of." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: polling. >> jimmy: but bernie sanders is still hanging in there. in fact he wound up winning four states last night. [ cheers and applause ] forward to bringing vermont values to the rest of the country. and americans said, "if you're think we can settle this right [ laughter and applause ] i mean, let's do it.
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ben carson is still in the race. [ light laughter ] he gave another electrifying speech last night. sometimes we like to count how often a politician blinks while giving a speech. but with carson, it's actually a lot more fun to count how many times he even opens his eyes. [ laughter ] we didn't do anything to the video. check this out. >> and we still have millions of americans who are saying on facebook you cannot leave us. we have to have a representative. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: four times. four times. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: carson's the first human to get 25 hours of sleep per day. [ light laughter ] he's the first human -- good for him. i feel bad making fun of carson, but it's not like he's gonna see it. [ laughter ] and finally, i saw that apple is expected to hold its new product event later this month
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iphone could be announced. and i guess they want to attract iphone users with smaller hands. then trump was like, "get me one of those tiny iphones." [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much! welcome, everybody. it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, pharrell williams and priyanka chopra will be here. [ cheers and applause ] then on friday gwyneth paltrow will be stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] plus youtube star tyler oakley and music from the who. >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's fiday. >> steve: man. >> jimmy: yeah, it's gonna be a a good, good, good show. but first joining us tonight is a prolific and incredibly talented writer and performer. she stars alongside margot robbie in a big new movie called "whiskey tango
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she is fantastic in the movie. the movie is action packed and it's funny, funny, funny 'cause it's tina fey. but she -- great performances. tina fey is here, ladies and gentlemen. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she rocks it. >> steve: she's excellent. >> jimmy: she destroys. she is so good in this movie. people are gonna flip out. and we always like to try new games with tina, because she's the best at everything. and tonight tina has agreed to try a fun new game called "know it all." so, stick around for that. it's gonna be fun. [ cheers and applause ] plus, fresh off her live all-night political coverage of super tuesday, rachel maddow is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] we're gonna talk to her about the latest on the big presidential campaign. and we have great music from santigold! [ cheers and applause ] santigold has a new record out. "99 cents."
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>> jimmy: yeah, the record itself, it costs probably $12.99. probably 15 -- depends. it varies. >> steve: where you buy it. >> jimmy: but the name of the album is "99 cents." but that is not the -- >> steve: price of the album. >> jimmy: price of the album. >> steve: that is only the name of the album. >> jimmy: i can see where you could be confused. >> steve: so, i went to the store and i bought it and i go, "this is 99 cents." the guy goes, "no, it's $14.95." i go -- >> jimmy: but it's -- it is "99 cents." >> steve: he was right. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: it was $14.95. but i shouldn't have burned down the store. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that was a mistake that you made, but that's on you, you know? >> steve: my bad. >> jimmy: that's my bad. that's on me, man. [ laughter ] oh, man. damn, daniel. >> steve: damn, daniel. [ laughter ] damn. >> jimmy: damn, daniel. [ laughter ] as we mentioned before, yesterday was super tuesday. and donald trump was the big winner on the republican side. he is now the solid front-runner to get the gop nomination. and after the results came in last night, trump spoke to the media and his supporters.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank me, thank me, thank me very much. this has been an amazing night. we've already won five states. and it looks like we could win six or seven or eight or nine. [ laughter ] maybe a million states by the time the night is over. now, i'll admit i didn't win every state. i only got 27% of the vote in texas. but remember, everything is bigger in texas. so 27% is actually more like 60%. so basically i won texas. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. and thank me. as for oklahoma, look at it. it looks like a trump wig that texas is wearing. so i basically won there, too. of course, i wanna thank governor chris christie for his unblinking support. [ laughter and applause ] i love this guy. he's fantastic. he's like my mini-me, except bigger. he's my mega-me.
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you can go home now, mega-me. good boy. good mega-me. now since this is a press conference, i'll take your questions and/or compliments. you, go ahead. >> you've been criticized for failing to distance yourself from the kkk and white supremacists like david duke. do you have any comment on that? >> jimmy: look, first of all, i love the kkk. kim, khloe, kourtney, they're fantastic people. [ laughter and applause ] i've known them a long time. as for david duke, i've already disavowed that. i disavowed it like five times. but everyone's still like, "damn, donald, back at it again with the white supremacists." [ laughter and applause ] next question. >> donald, what's next? what if you get an endorsement from the nazi party? >> jimmy: look, i support people who cannot see. i love stevie wonder, who's a a fantastic singer. maybe not for everybody, but i love him, okay? beautiful. >> marco rubio said he intends to stay in the race. how do you feel about that? >> jimmy: i don't get this guy. he keeps giving victory
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[ laughter ] he's like that guy who brags about being three numbers away from winning the powerball. i have more important things to focus on. i've got bigger fish to fry. speech. [ laughter and applause ] my real competition now is hillary clinton. and look, i called hillary earlier, i said, "here's the deal. in 2008 you lost to a black man. but in 2016 you're gonna lose to an orange man." that's right. orange is the new black. [ cheers and applause ] and we are gonna win, win, win. in fact, i don't wanna just win the presidency. i also wanna win the last season of "american idol." so text "trump" to 10112. together, we can make "american idol" great again. cue the music.
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>> jimmy: stick around, everybody. we'll be right back with tina fey. [ cheers and applause ] hi. hi... i love your pants. thanks. these pants are really speaking to me. can i look at the back? ooooooooooooooh! do you even know what you have back there? give me your pants. you should go to old navy. all pants are on sale up to 40% off. ahhhhhh! you guys! i'm gonna get those pants! [anthony] last year, i didn't go to h&r block. but this year, i can go to block and pay half, what i paid my other guy. so follow us, we're going to h&r block. [richard] switch to block andt pay half. inside the rack houses of jim beam,
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barrels lay silent. but that doesn't mean they lay idle. in fact, inside each and every jim beam barrel, the bourbon is aging, building a fuller, smoother flavor, that only comes from being aged four long years. at jim beam, our history is made from the inside. how will you make yours? folks, you can't make this stuff up. four bandits chose a prius as their getaway car. bravo-niner, in pursuit of a toyota prius. over. how hard is it to catch a prius? over. this thing is actually pretty fast. over. very funny.
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for the car. yeah! holly!
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[ cheers and applause ] we're joined right now by one of the best comedy writers and performers around. she's a best-selling author, a a multiple emmy and golden globe award winner, and this friday she's got a big new movie in theaters called "whiskey tango foxtrot," wtf. please welcome back to the show, our buddy, tina fey! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about right there. new york city loves you, tina fey. come on. >> i love it. >> jimmy: thanks for being here. you look gorgeous. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: thank you so much. please. come on, we love you, love you.
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>> yeah, at the lincoln center deal. >> jimmy: lincoln center. >> yes. >> jimmy: we were backstage. you and your husband threw this amazing party, amazing event for honoring lorne michaels. >> yes, lorne michaels was getting an award from lincoln center, and it was a fundraiser to raise money for stuff there. and, so yeah, my husband jeff and i got put in charge of making a show. and we just made everyone come sing. it was this great american songbook show. so people came and sang. what's the -- the what time gals? the -- >> jimmy: the ragtime gals. >> the ragtime gals here. you guys came and sang. >> jimmy: i sang barber shop quartet. >> a version of r. kelly's "ignition." >> jimmy: of course. yeah. [ cheers ] as one does. >> because that's -- when you think "american songbook," that's what you think of. >> jimmy: backstage it was some of the best comedians ever. maya rudolph. >> steve martin. >> jimmy: steve martin, martin short. >> it was such a fun show. and it was cool because it was not filmed or anything. and it was like an hour-long show for these people at lincoln center, all these comedians. and then finally, late in the show, i knew i had to have a a ringer for the lincoln center people. >> jimmy: yeah. >> something they really like, the classy people. so i was like, "ladies and
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audra mcdonald." and you could hear -- people in the audience were like, "oh, thank god." [ laughter ] they were like, "oh, thank god, these disgusting people are done." >> jimmy: the garbage people. >> she's so awesome. >> jimmy: oh, she's unbelievable. >> yeah. >> jimmy: she comes on the show, she doesn't even need a a microphone. >> she's super funny, too. >> jimmy: yeah. >> people don't know that. like, i e-mailed her, and i was like, "hey, do you want to do this thing? it's a -- it's for lorne michaels." and she was like, "what do you need me to do? strip like coco from 'fame' in his apartment? whatever you need me to do." [ laughter ] i was like, "oh, my god! audra mcdonald!" she's like, "nice coco. very pretty coco." >> jimmy: like coco from "fame." and fred armisen. i didn't -- i missed his bit, but gosh, he makes me laugh. >> oh, yes, fred armisen. so we had to give lorne an award at the end of the thing. and i was like, "he's got a lot of awards already. let's try to get a bit out of it." and so we had -- it was like, "now here to present the award is lorne's doorman of 28 years -- [ light laughter ] -- nelson abatte," and we just dressed fred up like a doorman. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was with him backstage. i don't know what the bit was. >> he was dressed like a a doorman all night. >> jimmy: yeah, we shared a a dressing room. like, "i don't know why you're dressed as a doorman." he was like, "i don't know what you're dressed like a a barbershop quartet guy." >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we didn't ask. >> showbiz, yeah. >> jimmy: we didn't even ask. >> it was not a surprise to see
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>> jimmy: we just had a normal conversation. didn't ask why each other were dressed like that. >> yeah. no, why would you? >> jimmy: it was the most fun thing. pal, i love you when you do the comedy, but i gosh, i loved you in this movie. >> oh, thank you, dude. >> jimmy: "whiskey tango foxtrot." you're fantastic in this. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: wtf. this is a code that they use. yeah. >> military slang. >> jimmy: military slang. >> you all know what we're talking about. >> jimmy: yeah. but man, it's crazy to see you -- well, you use an ak-47. >> ak-47. sure. >> jimmy: it's actua -- have you ever even -- why would you even come close to shooting? >> no, the closest i ever came was the thing on the boardwalk where you shoot the air rifle and it makes a little tiny guy play the piano. which i was really good at it as a kid. >> jimmy: i think you should only do war movies from now on. >> you think? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i think you're the next lee marvin. [ laughter ] i knew that'd make you laugh. [ laughter ] i knew it'd make you laugh. >> oh, i wanna be the next lee marvin. >> jimmy: but this is based on the book, right? >> yeah, there's this book, really great book called "the taliban shuffle."
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named kim barker who was a a journalist who got sent -- it was sort of like, we need -- when the war in afghanistan was getting outshadowed by the war in iraq, they needed -- they didn't have enough journalists to go over there. and they were like, "who doesn't have kids and isn't married and can go?" [ light laughter ] she was like, "i'll go." and she went thinking she was going to stay for three months, and she stayed for three years. and she writes about her experiences there. and things that i didn't know, like these people, these journalists are amazing, they're with the marines all day in all these dangerous situations. and then to cope with it, they party super hard. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> hard! and so it's kind of about getting addicted to this adrenaline lifestyle. >> jimmy: yeah, it's crazy. and it's good -- great co-stars. you have margot robbie who we >> ugh, what a -- what a -- margot robbie, ugh. what a dud. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: not a good-looking woman. but -- >> oh, god bless her. yeah. we can say that. [ light laughter ] >> thank god she's nice. >> jimmy: thank goodness, yeah. yeah, i mean -- [ laughter ] we have martin freeman on it -- >> jimmy: -- who plays your >> yeah. >> jimmy: why did you choose martin freeman for your love interest?
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the movie. >> jimmy: yeah, that's right. >> it was a long casting process. i brought a lot of dudes in. [ laughter ] i brought -- like ryan gosling came in like five times. he couldn't get it. [ laughter ] i brought all the hemsworths. >> jimmy: yeah! [ laughter ] >> liam, terry -- >> jimmy: yeah, liam, terry. >> jimmy: georgie. >> jimmy: georgie hemsworth. [ light laughter ] toucan. >> toucan hemsworth. [ laughter ] but i think, you know -- yeah. >> i was a fan of martin. really, truthfully, i was a fan of martin forever from the british "office" and "fargo." and so it's -- one thing when you're producing a movie, i'm like, "i want that guy to be in the movie." >> jimmy: you have a great chemistry. >> thank you. well, you know, i have a type. as you know, my type is -- travel-sized. [ laughter ] i don't know why. no one knows why. no one happened to hardwire your brain. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i like little dudes. >> jimmy: but man, oh, man, you were just -- i believed everything, and halfway through watching the movie -- and this is a a compliment -- i didn't even see you anymore.
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>> oh, that's awesome. what --? >> kim baker in the movie. >> jimmy: kim baker in the movie. kim barker is the author. >> we changed stuff, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, i realize but i just loved it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: did you change? because i think doing a movie like that, i love watching it, but acting in it seems like a a lot of work. [ laughter ] >> oh, we do it all day every day. no, i mean, i don't know, we just go and we try to play stuff honestly and see -- and we shot the whole movie in new mexico, which was pretty cool. >> jimmy: oh, is that where it was? >> they shot "lone survivor" -- and new mexico looks like afghanistan, weirdly. [ laughter ] but with like really good burgers with green chilis. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] they do put green chilis on everything. >> everything. they'll put it in your tea. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i saw you dedicated the movie to your dad. >> yeah. >> jimmy: the late don fey. >> yeah, my dad passed away. much. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: i'm so sorry, pal. i love the guy, and why -- i know, because he just passed, but also explain why your dad -- >> yeah, we dedicated the movie -- my dad served. he was -- oh, this movie's about the military. my dad served in korea, and he also was a journalist at the beginning of his career.
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back from korea, he went to philly! right? [ cheers ] temple university school of journalism, and he was a writer for "business week." and i think he would have liked this movie. i'm kind of relieved he doesn't have to see me, like, have sex with martin freeman, yes. [ laughter ] but other than that, i think he would have liked this movie. and so we dedicated the movie to him. and we also -- my family set up a scholarship in my dad's name at temple for -- weirdly, not related to this movie, but because he was a a vet, for returning vets who like a very specific -- [ applause ] -- scholarship. up. >> jimmy: yeah, please. >> and thank you. people to donate, and it was very generous, thank you. numerous times, you and him and your mom. >> yes. >> jimmy: so give my mom -- give your mom best, please. >> i will. >> jimmy: he's gotta be so proud of you. i want to show a clip here. tina fey in the new movie "whiskey tango foxtrot," in theaters -- oh, should we set it up? >> oh, yeah. this is -- so, i play this
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confronting all these weird things where she goes to interview this important guy attorney general of and he -- she asks him questions, and he won't answer her directly, only will talk to her male translator -- >> -- for a while, and then he bit. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] theaters this friday. check this out. >> kim baker. i returned to this country to save it. i am a friend of america. >> which is why you should let me interview you, so people can understand that. >> i like you, kim. i like your mouthiness. that is a word, yes? it reminds me of my time living in london. you make me feel like a young man again. but i do not know you. how can we get to know each other, kim? [ gunfire ]
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[ gunfire ] [ laughter ] put a turban on her, she'd make a very handsome boy. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: it's tons of jokes. but it's action-packed. i'm so proud, man. that was a great movie. tina fey. we're going to try a new game called "know it all" after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] that' s not fair, he should give you your rollerblades back. anddddd, she' s back. storm coming? a very dangerous cheese storm. so you have 20 more bags. mhm. my yoga instructor calls it the death spiral. i call it living the dream. american express presents the blue cash everyday card with no annual fee. cash back on purchases. see you tomorrow.
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[ cheers and applause ] i'm here with tina fey! [ cheers and applause ] "whiskey tango foxtrot" out this friday. we're about to play a new game called know it all. here we go. know it all know it all [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tina's going to need an opponent tonight. and we found a very good one for her. she's the host of "the
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please welcome rachel maddow! >> hello. energy. >> how are you? >> jimmy: this is going to be an exciting game right here. [ cheers and applause ] now, know it all is a game of knowledge and deception. here's how it works. each round you'll choose a a category things like fruits, countries, tv shows and you take turns naming something in that category. your clock counts down when it's your turn. whoever's clock runs out first loses that round. if you can't think of anything in the category, you can bluff and make something up, but if your opponent hits the challenge button and successfully calls your bluff, then they win the round. you can also challenge if the player repeats something you already said. let's take a look at tonight's categories. cocktails. famous bobs. [ light laughter ] dog breeds, cheeses, rappers, and spanish words. [ cheers ] rachel, why don't you pick the first category?
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>> jimmy: dog breeds. dog breeds according to the american kennel club. [ light laughter ] there are 20 seconds on your clock. [ laughter ] what's that? >> tina: what's happening to you? >> jimmy: i don't know. my voice -- >> the voice. >> jimmy: my voice changes a a little bit. [ light laughter ] rachel, when you're ready, you name your first dog breed, and then hit your button. go when you're ready. >> beagle. >> tina: poodle. >> labrador. >> tina: german shepherd. >> collie. >> tina: shih tzu. >> pomeranian. >> tina: yorkie. >> dachshund. >> tina: weimaraner. >> vizsla. >> tina: um -- >> jimmy: that's also a cheese. [ laughter ] >> tina: oh -- the wiener dog. [ light laughter ] [ horn ] >> jimmy: that's a challenge! that's a challenge sent to the judges. wiener dog, is that what you said? >> tina: yeah. a dachshund is the medical name. >> jimmy: that's another name for -- in medical terms. >> tina: its government name is a dachshund. >> jimmy: government name.
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correct. >> the big-government name. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: tina, why don't you pick our next category. >> tina: okay. rappers. >> oh, no. >> tina: why did i do that to myself? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: rappers. any rapper or hip-hop musician who has released a studio album. rappers. >> tina: i start? >> jimmy: yeah. >> tina: okay. jay-z. >> ice t. >> tina: eaves. >> easy e. >> tina: nicki minaj. >> too short. >> tina: snow. [ light laughter ] yeah. [ horn ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was a tricky one. that was incredible. judges, is snow a rapper? [ ding ] that's correct. [ cheers and applause ] >> tina: he's not a good rapper. >> jimmy: informer. >> tina: i didn't say a good rapper. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no. informer was something. yeah, informer. absolutely. that was a good one. okay, here we go.
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this is for the game. i will choose the category. >> tina: what kind of car do we get? [ laughter ] >> it's a pontiac. it's under your seat. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. it's a photo of a gray car. [ light laughter ] i'm going to choose cheeses. >> all right. >> jimmy: these are types of cheese according to cheese.com. [ laughter ] judges, is there such a thing as cheese.com? okay, just making sure. [ laughter ] this is cheeses, the type of cheese according to cheese.com. start us off, rachel, please. >> gouda. >> tina: alpine lace. why would i start there? i don't know. [ laughter ] >> pepper jack. >> tina: cheddar. >> parmesan. >> tina: gruyere. >> capezio. >> tina: drunken goat. >> chevre. >> tina: chevre is goat! [ buzzer ]
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judges? is that chevre, is that the same thing as goat? [ dings ] [ cheers and applause ] here's our winner! tina fey! [ applause ] everyone wins here on our show right there. our thanks to rachel maddow and tina fey. [ cheers and applause ] chevre is goat. more tonight show after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: our next guest is the host of "the rachel maddow" show. last night she co-anchored msnbc's live political coverage of super tuesday. so she's been up all night. here to tell us about it, please welcome the very smart, the very engaging rachel maddow! [ cheers and applause ]
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welcome back. you know we love you here. >> you can't fall asleep when you are jumping around. a medical fact. >> jimmy: medical fact, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you've been up all night. thank you for being here. >> kind of, yeah. >> jimmy: were you on tv at like 1:00, 2:00? >> like 2:00 in the morning, ish. >> jimmy: thank you so much for doing the show. >> oh, i'm happy to. this is like politics christmas. it's very exciting. there's no reason to sleep. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's interesting. were there any surprises last night on super tuesday? yeah. >> -- well, you know, there was a long while during the broadcast last night where it looked like the person who might win the republican primary in vermont was going to be john kasich. and i was like, okay, that's a a surprise. >> jimmy: no one saw that coming. >> like going to see a a basketball game and all these super tall guys then danny devito runs on the court and he can dunk! [ laughter ] whoa. i didn't see that coming. turns out he lost. he didn't end up winning. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> for a minute it felt like that was going to be a a surprise.
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because i -- trump and hillary. but there's rumors that ben carson may be dropping out, but he hasn't said it. >> he's kind of sort of dropping out of the race. >> jimmy: he might just be talking in his sleep. [ laughter ] [ mumbling ] i'm here. i'm here, what is it? >> he said technically he doesn't see a path forward, but he's not suspending yet. >> jimmy: but he's not going to be at the other debates. >> and he won't be at the other debates. i don't know, you know, ben carson has turned out to be hard to follow. in this race. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: but can people still hop in now? or is the deadline over? i don't know the rules. >> that's a really important question. i'm not sure anybody knows the real answer. if you were going to run as a a republican or a democrat at this point, it's pretty hard because there have been 15 states that have already gone on each side and you can't compete for those. but if you were going to run not as a democrat or a a republican, if you were going to run as an independent or some weird third party thing, nobody really knows if those people could still get in and actually contest it. we might find out in the coming
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freaking out so hard about donald trump that they drive themselves into some crazy plan like that. >> jimmy: yeah. because some people just -- they just love trump. and then some republicans are like, i don't know what to do. >> yeah. it seems like it is irretrievably cleaving the republican party. and the cleave, like the two sides, are all the people in washington, all the people in the beltway press, all the people in the republican establishment who are like, "trump? we can't give our party to trump! he's nuts!" then on the other side are all the voters -- [ laughter ] -- who want donald trump. >> jimmy: what are you gonna say? >> yeah. so you can split, but trump gets all the voters and you guys get yourselves. [ laughter ] and that's not enough. so i don't know what they're going to do. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's a little nutty. they're going to try to take it
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>> jimmy: what does that mean? >> eh -- it's not going to be pretty. if he keeps winning the way he is, he's going to keep winning by far the most states and by far the most delegates and their plan, and they're sort of talking about it openly now, is once you get to the end of this nominating process and he's done everything to win the nomination, at the end, when it comes time to say, okay, you're the nominee, they're instead going to be like, actually, it's going to be this guy. [ light laughter ] they're just going to pick somebody else even though he's basically won the process. and i cannot imagine how that's going to work out. how that's going to stand. but that's their plan right now. that's their plan, what they're going to try to do. >> jimmy: interesting. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't even know that was possible. >> i don't think it is. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> until they do it. then it's possible. >> jimmy: then it's possible. and then, mitt romney said that he's going to speak tomorrow. he's going to say something. he's announced that he's going to talk. any idea? any scoop? >> i mean, it's possible that i guess he could try to run? if it goes to the convention and they try to take it away from trump then, nobody knows who they would give it to instead. it doesn't have to be somebody who has already been running. they could pock anybody. they could pick mitt romney, they could pick you. they could pick anyone.
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>> jimmy: please no, please no. i don't want it. i don't want this job! i do not want this job! this is -- why would anyone want this job, president of the united states? it's the hardest job in the world. >> you get your own plane. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: no. i can't. i can't do it. i love taking the train. it's fantastic. [ light laughter ] >> you could probably get train force one or something? [ laughter ] president fallon demands a club car. >> jimmy: i'm in! i'm in if i get train force one. that would be awesome. [ light laughter ] how about if kasich drops out, then it's rubio or cruz. any -- >> crubio, truz. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: make up names. >> i mean, again, that sort of the beltway and the republican establishment has decided that it's definitely marco rubio. that he's definitely the best choice who is not donald trump. if people are given the choice to pick marco rubio, they will. marco rubio hasn't won one state out of 15 so far and it was the minnesota caucuses. all over the country he didn't just lose to donald trump, he came in third all over the
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he can't win anything to save his life. [ laughter ] and they've decided that he's the winner. and they're all going to side with him. i don't see how that goes. ted cruz has actually won some states but the republican party doesn't want him as badly as they don't want trump. so where does this end? >> jimmy: on the democratic side it's hillary, right? basically? >> bernie is still alive. bernie has one advantage. first of all, he's sort of doing what he expected to be doing. he wanted to win massachusetts last night and he didn't. but other than that, he's sort of on track to where he wanted to be. the big advantage that he's got is he's like crowd surfing on a a sea of money. he has so much money, you wouldn't recognize a socialist in the crowd. [ laughter ] he raised more money the day before yesterday than marco rubio raised in all of january. [ cheers and applause ] like he's got so much money. and it's not billionaires giving money to his super pac and then he can't control how that money gets spent. he doesn't have a super pac. that's people giving him honey that he wants. they're giving it to him in
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to them and ask for more. he has more money than anybody in the race democratic or republican. >> jimmy: wow. >> nobody knows how that works when that's the socialist. [ laughter ] so he's -- there's no reason to expect him, i think, to get out. it's just a question of how he and hillary clinton run and whether he can start turning his money into more states. >> jimmy: and then last question, when do we kind of find out who it is going to be? what do you have left? you have florida, is that the deciding thing? >> florida and ohio are both going to go on march 15th. so that's less than two weeks away now. and those will be pretty decisive. if trump wins florida and ohio, i even don't think they can try to steal it anymore. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i mean, at that point he's like earned it fair and square and taking it away would be even more crazy than what they're planning. but we'll have some stuff happen between then. there's some races this weekend, louisiana is voting this weekend. that will be fun because that's where david duke, the klansman, ran as the republican candidate for governor in the '90s and now he's endorsed donald trump and donald trump doesn't know what to make of it. that will be fun. [ laughter ]
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experience this weekend. >> jimmy: klan-didate experience. yeah. >> klan-didate experience. then michigan is on tuesday. that's going to be interesting. because everybody is waiting for republican governor of michigan to resign, which could happen any minute between now and that race on tuesday. and nobody knows how to deal with that. >> jimmy: sure, yeah. >> that's over the flint, michigan, lead poisoning thing. >> jimmy: disaster, yeah. >> so yeah, it's exciting. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: great job. thank you for schooling us as always. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: i love asking all these questions. >> any time. >> jimmy: you do such great work. we love you. we're big fans of yours. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much. rachel maddow, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "the rachel maddow show" airs weeknights at 9:00 p.m. on msnbc. we'll be right back for music from santigold! stick around. [ cheers and applause ] i have asthma... ...one of many pieces in my life. so when my asthma symptoms kept coming back on my long-term control medicine, i talked to my doctor and found a missing piece in my asthma treatment.
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breo is for adults with asthma not well controlled on a long-term asthma control medicine, like an inhaled corticosteroid. breo won't replace a rescue inhaler for sudden breathing problems. breo opens up airways to help improve breathing for a full 24 hours. breo contains a type of medicine that increases the risk of death from asthma problems and may increase the risk of hospitalization in children and adolescents. breo is not for people whose asthma is well controlled on a long-term asthma control medicine, like an inhaled corticosteroid. once your asthma is well controlled, your doctor will decide if you can stop breo and prescribe a different asthma control medicine, like an inhaled corticosteroid. do not take breo more than prescribed. see your doctor if your asthma does not improve or gets worse. ask your doctor if 24-hour breo could be a missing piece for you. see if you're eligible for
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trident. cherish your teeth. we got another one. i have an orc-o-gram for an "owen." that's me. you should hire stacy drew. she wants to change the world with you. she can program jet engines to talk and such. her biggest weakness is she cares too much. thank you. my friend really wants a job at ge. mine too. i'm a wise elf from a far off shire. and sanjay patel is who you should hire. thank you. seriously though, stacy went to a great school and she's really loyal. you should give her a shot. and uh... get 30% off every guest every ship in the caribbean but hurry, this offer won't come seek the royal book today at 1-800-royalcaribbean. my house, too! my bed, my squeaky toy... my goodness is that smokymeatytasty- bacon?? you like bacon? i do backflips for bacon! i make beelines for bacon! i'm gonna beat you to bacon!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest we love. she's out with her third album called "99 cents." and she has this really cool interactive video. like, mindblowing. questlove and i got to see it a a couple weeks ago or something like that, before it came out.
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you can check it out, it's on her website, santigold.com. and what -- it's called "can't get enough of myself." and basically if you're watching on your laptop, she's walking down the street, and then your face is on the posters on the street. and it's just so cool and rad. [ cheers ] and you're in a cup of coffee. it's just fun, fun, fun. no one is doing it like she's doing it. myself," please welcome santigold! [ cheers and applause ] oooh woah oh i can't get enough of myself if i wasn't me i can be sure i'd wanna be i'm pretty major and i'll say it out loud living my life in a fantasy living my life in my vanity hey mom maybe you'll see me now
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and if i judge well then so be to my neighbours i'm the best thing around in a fantasy living my life hey mom maybe you'll see me now all i wanna do is what i do well ain't a gambler but honey i'd put money on myself is bottle it to sell 'cause my brand does vainglorious much better for your health woah oooh oooh i can't get enough all i'm saying is true i can't get enough of myself woah oooh oooh i can't get enough i don't know about you but i can't get enough of myself ha ha funny me life of the party v.i.p. got so much flavor put me on the buffet look at them look at them liking me look at them
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it's so hard baby look at me now who now could it be calling the paparazzi baby fire away look at them liking me look at them look at what sight to see baby look at me now all i wanna do is what i do well i'd put money on myself all i wanna do is bottle it to sell 'cause my brand does vainglorious much better for your health woah oooh oooh i can't get enough all i'm saying is true i can't get enough of myself woah oooh oooh i can't get enough i don't know about you but i can't get enough of myself woah oooh oooh i can't get enough
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i can't get enough of myself woah oooh oooh i can't get enough i don't know about you but i can't get enough of myself got me a ticket i'm heating it up my life's a party i'm filling my cup it's in the woah it's in the oooh i'll tell you that i can't get enough oooh i'm on a roll i keep turning it up i'm my biggest fan and i can't get enough oooh oooh oooh oooh i can't get enough woah oooh oooh i can't get enough i can't get enough of myself woah oooh oooh i can't get enough i don't know about you but i can't get enough of myself woah oooh oooh i can't get enough all i'm saying is true i can't get
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woah oooh oooh i can't get enough i don't know about you but i can't get enough of myself woah oooh oooh woah oooh oooh [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much. thank you, thank you. santigold! [ cheers and applause ] catch her on tour starting this month. we'll be right back with more "tonight show", everybody.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to tina fey, rachel maddow, santigold! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- keri russell. from "broad city," comediennes ilana glazer and abbi jacobson. music from lp. featuring the 8g band with patrick carney. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen,

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