tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS January 18, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST
>> stephen: thank you very much. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thanks, everybody. offfully nice-- awfully nice, welcome to the slate late show. thanks, everybody. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you so much. welcome to the late show. i'm stephen colbert. happy martin luther king day, everybody. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: did you get me anything? get me anything, jon? >> jon: what's that? >> stephen: did you get me anything for martin luther king. i checked under my martin luther king day tree this morning and there was nothing there. >> jon: i tweeted. >> stephen: you tweeted? did you tweet for martin luther king day. >> jon: yeah, i was. >> stephen: what did y >> jon: i was like, thank you dr. king. >> stephen: that's good. keep it simple. >> jon: right, straight to the point. >> stephen: yeah, just like king himself.
>> stephen: you know, speaking of martin luther king, super (laughter) i had no transition, i had no proper way to transition from this conversation to that, what is written in there. as we get closer to super bowl 50, every sports fan out there is asking the same question. what's going on with wisconsin high school basketball? (laughter) interscholastic athletic association has now banned high-school students in the stands from chanting things like air ball! or anything meant to taunt the other team. i think this is crazy. watching basketball without chanting is like watching baseball without napping. (laughter) jon, you have played basketball. you were on the national championship high school team, >> jon: yes. >> stephen: you got a ring? >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: what were some of the-- did you get air ball. >> jon: yeah, air ball was
>> stephen: uh-huhs-- uh-huh. >> brick, when are you at the free throw line they would chant miss it, miss it, miss it. >> stephen: did it really affect snu. >> jon: if you prad, then you just put it right in the net. >> stephen: so no are you in favor of ending the chanting or keeping the chanting. >> jon: i think you got to keep the chants. it's just part of the game. >> stephen: all right. i agree. that is a national high school champion. (applause) and let's face it, high school is a saffage cult and kids will chantd. (laughter) so i want to give high schoolers some phrases that sound good as chants but are not insulting. so instead of air ball! try this. >> earl gray. >> stephen: perfect. now are you just celebrating a delicious breakfast tea, you can't get in trouble for that. but wisconsin also banned this chant.
so kids, just replace that with this similar sounding one. >> fon teu cheese melts. >> stephen: nothing says wisconsin sports like dippable cheese. (laughter) but the wiaa didn't stop there. they also followed up with this tweet. we would like to clarify that we do not think chantingu sa is unsportsman like when it is intended to be the united states of america. however it has come to our attention that this abbreviation has also been used to disguise the phrase "you suck ass." (laughter). >> stephen: which would be deemed unsportsman like. (cheers and applause) i don't know about you, i don't know about you but here in the teen-- hearing the teenagers are using that phrase actually makes me proud. (laughter) i believe that is why our founders named it theu sa in the first place, to tell king george, you suck ass. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: but you know-- you
ass? tonight's show. (cheers and applause) that is a transition. >> jon: right. >> stephen: that is how you do it. >> jon: right. >> stephen: tobt i will be joined by emmy-winner patricia heaton. she stars in the hit sitcom "the middle" which is a great show even if you never watched "the binning." and then i will talk with legendary music producer quincy jones, ladies and gentlemen. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: huge. of course, quincy jones produced michael jackson's "thriller" and can i not wait to hear what he has to say. and also what he has to mama say mama sa mama coosa. and then i will talk to black lives matter activist deray mckesson about the legacy of martin luther king. about the legacy of martin luther king.
be surprised that it goes beyond mattress sales. we'll also have a musical performance from the singer "grace" who will be singing a classic quincy jones song. and i hope she asked permission first or this could get awkward. oh, that fine sound is from national basketball champion jon batiste and stay human. say hello, everybody. (cheers and applause) they're about to kick things off, but before they do, one more thing, wall part has plans plans to close 269 stores and this time they're wal-mart stores. >> tonight stephen welcomes patricia heaton.
black lives matter activist deray mckesson. and a musical perform ans by grace. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now it's time for the late show with stephen colbert! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: hello, everybody. hey, hey, jon! hey cowboy. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: thanks, everybody. man, i don't know about you, but i could-- i tell you, folks, i don't know about y'all but i could watch those opening credits over and over again.
>> stephen: i had a great one because for a lot of it i was just ass-deep in robitussin. and i managed to forget that there was another presidential debate on sunday night. and this time it was the democrats. hillary clinton, bernie sanders and, i want to say morton o'muttley? (laughter) millton o'mangle. munchme muf letter-- no, i was so close this weekend to remaining blissfully unaware of this debate. but they got me at the last secretary. when i was flipping channels between downtown abbey and "billions" because like bernie sanders i love watching rich people suffer. and i'm not the only one who wasn't aware of it. because this whole election democrats have been hiding. but this was the worst. >> this time we have a sunday night on a holiday weekend. their nfl football play offers
on twitter, downtown abbey on tonight. >> it's going to get downtown abbey, a new episode. >> why sunday night, sunday night is downtown abbey might, madame detective night. >> stephen: yes, last night, america would rather have watched madame detective, a tv show that, for the record, does not exist. (laughter) still, it sounds pretty good. i would watch "madame detective." i believe they're going to show the next democratic debate after the closing credits of the fantastic four. so since you couldn't see it through the romulan cloaking device they threw over the debate, let me sum it up for. bernie accused hillary of popping champagne with a wall street buddies in the hot tub of the tears of poofer people. hillary said bernie record on guns means he has innocent blood on his handses that no amount of that hippie dr. bronner's soap can wash off. but the biggest revelation about these candidates did not come
in an interview with time magazine bernie sanders dropped a bombshell about his past that will shake up this entire race. >> as president you have to preside over estate dinners, you have to host the white house correspondent dinner. >> let mee go on record, you ready for this, you got a scoop, ready for a scoop? here it is. i do not own a tuxedo. never have i worn a tuxedo. >> stephen: that's right, never has bernie sanders worn a tuxedo. ever. possibly, cuz they don't make (laughter) even, even at bernie's own wedding, he wore a blue suit with a red tie. he looked like he is running for president of his own marriage. (laughter) i think i know what truly is going on here. when senator sanders said he has never worn a tuxedo, what he secretly wants to share with the american people, is that he never got to go sto prom. i mean he would have worn a tuxedo if he had been to prom.
who is more obsessed with inequality than an unpopular high-school student? >> 90% of the dates in the school will go to the top 1% of the basketball team. making out under the bleamps with the cheerleader should be a rite, not a privilege. especially if you just got your braces off. we need to regular late our locker manufacturers so that when nonathletic students get shofd inside the locker, they can be opened from the inside. it is a national shame. they there needs to be equal redistribution. there must be redriks of cafeteria seats so that everyone has someone to sit with at lunch as well as equal time for discussing nonsports conversation topics such as the visionary science fiction of arthur c clarke. (laughter) so america, i think there is only one thing for us to do here. to get bernie into a tux and to give him the closure he needs from high school, we have to ask bernie sanders to the prom.
image available on our website. for you to photo shop yourself into, of you on a prom date with senator sand ires. the theme of the prom, of course, enchantment under our unfair financial system. (laughter) so download the image at colbert late show.com and upload your version to twitter with the hashtag bernieprom-posal. and together as a nation we can prom. if the night goes well, you won't just be feeling the bern, the bern mielt be feeling you. (laughter) we'll be right back with palt rich-- patricia heaton. (applause)
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companies are ripping us off. bernie tells the truth, and he's been consistent. he understands and he's the only one who can bring real change. i'm bernie sanders,
>> it was expensive. >> i'm not eating highway pizza. >> it might not be on the highwayment it may still be in the parking lot. >> fingers crossed because parking lot pizza is so much better. >> it might still be in the box. >> this is insane. we are not having that conversation. >> what if it is not in the box but still faceup. >> we're not doing this. >> frankie, you wouldn't throw 24 dollars out the window and not go back for it. >> this is the family we are now, we eat food off the road. we do this we are losing the one thing that separates frus possu m, is this how low we've sunk. >> i feel like we've sunk lower. >> nothing comes to mind, but i know we have. >> stephen: please welcome patricia heaton. (applause) >> hi. >> stephen: now that scene has the ring of truth to it. >> yes. >> stephen: you are a mom of
>> stephen: have you ever sunk pizza. >> i have not sunk that low, no. have i had to clean up poop poolside at the four seasons. >> stephen: oh, wow, that is very glamorous. >> yeah. >> stephen: you are a tv star. >> i know. well, they didn't have-- you know, the four seasons, they anything. everything was linen, in the pool side bathroom. >> stephen: it's not your problem, it's the four seasons problem. believe me f i had to clean up poop poolside i'm asking for silk. i'm trying to class the moment up as much as can i. >> yeah, yeah. >> stephen: well, lovely to meet you. >> thank you. >> stephen: i, one of the things i like about you is that you're a catholic in hollywood. i'm not in hollywood but i'm a catholic. >> you are. >> stephen: i mean, i. >> you are more-- who is more catholic than-- . >> stephen: are you challenge me to a catholic throwdown?
look at your bona fides out there. this is a picture, hold on. of your family. (laughter) where are you in this? where are you? >> i'm right there. >> stephen: okay. >> that's me, right there. >> stephen. >> on my mom's lap. >> stephen: does she even know your name? you, the one with the hair. >> right. >> stephen: and the teeth and the fingers. >> because my little brother is there, that is my cousin, my sister, this sister sharon is now a dominican nu n. in full habit. >> stephen: damn, hold on. i can't compete with that. >> well, you come from a very big family. >> stephen: i come from 11 kids in my family. >> my mom was one of 15. >> stephen: okay, but that is one generation back. you don't. >> right. you guys were modern with the 11 kids. >> stephen: 11, exactly. -- z an they're like bib i will kal names. >> of course. >> stephen: you have to have a saint name in there. there is no st. patricia.
>> stephen: exactly. you had to switch it over. patrick, patrick had to go into transition for you. no, it's good. >> it is good. >> stephen: he got rid of the snake. >> that's right. no, but we-- you know, (cheers and applause). >> stephen: it's all part of the story. part of the story. >> that's really good. >> stephen: so you want to youth catholic me, girl. >> okay, well, let's see, i have a dominican nu n sister. >> stephen: but do you want to quiz knee. >> yeah, let's see. how many places did mary appear, name them. >> stephen: what do you mean how many places did mary appear? a lot of places. >> nine. >> stephen: nine? >> since her death. >> stephen: since her death. >> name three, come on. >> stephen: i hate to till, kiddo, but mary was assumed bodily into heaven and did not die a more tal death, boom. called the feast of the
>> in the after she died, after she assumptioned. >> stephen: now queen of heaven. >> but then she came back and appeared to-- . >> stephen: i know she did lordes, at fatima, at metrogoria. >> yes. >> stephen: bob's big boy. (laughter) to juan diego, gawd lupe. >> and a couple are french but then there is one will you never guess cuz i didn't know this either. >> jon: i grilled-- . >> stephen: a grilled cheese sandwich in georgia, at the bob's big boy. >> nock. >> i did not know that. >> stephen: i knew that. >> she appeared to a bunch of people in france, kind of all around the same time. i have a feeling there were a bunch of french women with nothing to do. >> stephen: right. >> started saying they were-- . >> stephen: and some villages that needed some income. i will show you, five france monday seur. very beautiful, go to imagine she is standing there but it was
yes. >> stephen: huh? >> how as a catholic, how do you sell your house faster? >> stephen: you bury st. joseph, statute of lawn. you do. and i will tell you a story, true story, my mom, the most catholic person i ever knew, she wanted to sell her house, this was during the recession in the 90s. she couldn't sell her house, she kontd move the damn thing some of she heard about this thing from her marion friends like you know, put joe upside down. and she goes i wouldn't do that to st. joseph. so she got a statute put it in the garden and the house didn't sell. so the statue, she eventually went back out, dug a hole and put it upside down and the household. and she says i feel terrible. i said mom, clearly joe only understands the rough stuff. true story, true story. wow. so what is the thing called with
host the host in that has a class thing and you carry it around. >> demonstrine. >> stephen: you're really good. >> fill in the blank. who soafer wear this blank shall never endure the fires of hell. >> stephen: scapu lar. wow. don't you come into my house and strie to stop me with a scapu lar. we have not said jack about your tv show. do you enjoy it. >> i enjoy it. i have a great group of people. >> stephen: i heard rich dom works ano be that show. >> he is wonderful. >> stephen: he is the loveliest fellow. >> did he like working on the show. >> stephen: yes, i'm going to say, he says you are wonderful. well, "the middle" is on wednesdays at 8:00 on abc. patricia heaton, everybody.
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>> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my guest next started his career in the b-bop era, took center stage in the 1960s and has remained at the center of pop culture an civil rights ever since. please welcome quincy jones. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: now mr. jones, lovely to see you again. >> what's up? (laughter).
up with you? >> what's not down. >> stephen: now because i met you once before, i feel entitled to call you q. may i call you q. >> absolutely. >> stephen: how did you get started in mus snik. >> well, i was raised in chicago, i was born in chicago. (applause) >> second city. but in the 30see, boy, it was no joke. no joke at all. my mother was taken away in i straight jacket when i was 7, so we were like street rat ntion chicago. and my father was a carpenter building homes for the jones boys, probably the most notorious-- in the history of america. i'm doing a movie on it every day i saw dead bobbies, tommy guns, piles of money, liquor, you know, it was unbelievable in the 30see. >> stephen: and how does that get to the music again? fascinating story but how does that get to the movie.
>> stephen: okay. anything better than this? >> right, because what happened is in 1941, they made about 120 million dollars, equivalent to a billion dollars back then. >> stephen: this gang did. >> it was a black gain, most notorious gangsters in the history of america. i'm doing a movie on it i am,. >> stephen: i believe you. i would never challenge you on that. never challenge you on that. >> jones boys. they are unbelievable. and i remember i cut his daughter's hair when i was seven years old, she was five, she asked me to give her a haircut, i cut all her hair off. he said you know who her father s they looked like sister, unbelievable. >> stephen: back to the music again. cuz i have heard a lot of color, a lot of local color. >> it was gradual. and so-- . >> stephen: like what was your first instrument. >> so they made-- all that money and capone, al capone ran them out of chicago and sent them through mexico. >> stephen: really?
that gang still there? >> yeah, i talked to the granddaughters last week. >> stephen: wow. >> they're beautiful, man, beautiful, elegant people. >> stephen: uh-huh. >> you but he ran them to mexico and my father's best friend was one of the most notorious, took five sawed off shot guns to kill hmmmm. they were tough. is. >> stephen: and. >> you think it is bad now. >> stephen: yeah, okay. so was it a piano? or-- . >> these guys were getting to-- . >> stephen: a trum pet. >> what happened was we went out there and we wanted to be baby gangsters. >> stephen: so you wanted to like be made men of your own. >> gang sters. we went in an armory and we heard there was some lemon mer eng pie, we knew everything. >> stephen: that sounds like gangster work, my frind. >> that's right, 11 years old. >> stephen: going for the lemon pie, were you. >> 11:35, right on the dot, ate up all the pie and ice cream, had pie fights.
individually and broke in all the offices, right. >> stephen: yeah. >> we from gangsters, man. >> stephen: it sounds like it. it does not sound like you are musicians yet. >> i haven't gotten there yet. >> stephen: i want to warn our long. >> after we ate up all the pie everything, we went individually into offices. i went into the supervisor's the corner. >> stephen: piano. >> and i almost-- well, it was amazing. i when over, i closed the door and something said idiot, go back in that room and check that piano out. and i didn't know human beings played instruments, i really didn't. so i went over to that piano slowly an i touched it. and every cell in my body said this is what you are going to do the rest of your life. >> stephen: wow. >> so the next day i started to
baritone, french horn, trom boan, in much marching band so you can be next the the majorettes. >> stephen: so you made all kinds of music. and now you've actually got away, i want to get this out here. this is actually a way for all of us to hear mus nuk a new way. you have this thing, called the akgn-90. this is the q, this is the quincy jones headphone. and. >> my daughter designed these. >> stephen: okay. now these headphones go for 1500 dollars a piece. now-- i understand that they are personalized. i only can hear out of one ear, can i get these for 750? (laughter) >> we have another line coming out. >> stephen: another line coming out. >> we will accommodate. >> stephen: all right. are these available now? >> very shortly. i this think they are available now, yeah. >> stephen: you i've got one here in my hands, one assumes if
uh-huh, and are you listening to these yourself. >> yes t makes my soul melt. >> stephen: really. >> no, it's nice. we put a lot of work into this, you know. what you want to hear. after all this time, you know, you really are fussy about how you listen stuff. but you have edm and disco and hip-hop in one strata, jazz and classical another one. all you have to do is just decide, do like that. click it on. >> stephen: to change the settings. >> and the thing is not what your ear likes. >> stephen: it has an eq in it. >> it is-- nothing like it on the street. you know. >> thank you. >> stephen: you know what, there's also nothing like quincy jones on the street. ladies and gentlemen, the great quincy jones. we'll be right back.
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mckesson. plawtion plaws-- (applause) 7. >> goods to be here. >> stephen: as i said before, you are one of the leaders of the black lives matter movement. though you have moved on to focus on something called campaign zero right now. >> yes, a conference platform to end police violence. the movement is bigger than any one organization. there are so many people pushing to end police violence and this is one of the central platforms. >> stephen: you helped organize the protest in ferguson and baltimore. were you named for tune magazine's 2015 greatest world leaders list and one of ten people beyonce follows on twitter. that's a lot of pressure. that's a
lot of pressure. >> beyonce is great and more woke than people give her credit for. >> stephen: more what? >> woke. >> stephen: what does woke mean, honest to god, evidently i'm not woke. >> you wore the bracelet one day, you were woke that day. >> stephen: somebody in my office asked me if i would wear a black lives matter bracelet. so i put it on.
people got very mad about it. why do you think people get so mad about the idea of
black lives matter? >> cuz it's an idea as much as a movement. >> yeah, i think that people are uncomfortable talking about the racist history of this country and what we need to do to undo the impact of racism. and people are just like to act like we don't have a legacy of racism here. so i think people get really uncomfortable with it. but we know that we can't change it unless we address it, right. >> stephen: well, some people both republicans and democrats-- (applause) some republican candidates and martin o'malley at first also said all lives matter, in response. >> yeah. >> stephen: what is your reaction to that reaction. >> you know, it's such a distraction. we know if all lives matter were true we wouldn't have to be be out in the street. the police have killed 26 people just in 2016. so we have so much work to do. and that is just the way to avoid talking about the issue of police brutality by getting people to talk about this notion of all lives matter. it's just not true.
police brutality, some people's reaction would be this isn't all policeman. you were talking about bad apples, or are you saying that there is a systemic history of violence against the african-american community or poor communities in general, that doesn't on vee eight the fact that it is only a view people doing this. >> it's not just bad apples trk is like a bad batch, right. what we have seen is that across the country these issues around police violence in communities of color are popping up. >> stephen: sometimes it's african-american officers involved with these. does that change your feeling at all. >> no, because there is the blue coat of silence. when they become police officer there is something about the culture itself that is dangerous in communities across the country. we see it tamara rice-- tamir rice, mike brown, across the country it is so similar, it is not these isolated events t is a systemic problem. >> stephen: will you admit that being a police man is a
there is a tragedy perpetrated by police, it is in anyway obviated by the fact they put their livers on the line for the rest of are with us thrns are many dangerous jobs in the country. police have the power to kill people. that means they have a different responsibility and account ability that is not present. they kill people and they aren't accountable for that. we haven't seen many indictments or convictions across the country and that is not okay. >> stephen: this is a day that we celebrate martin luther king, the greatest hero-of-the civil rights movement, my lifetime. how do you think the civil rights movement as it exists today is different than it was in his time? because it's often looked at as a golden age it was taken from its world still as a young man and is now sort of a person in amber, like it's unchangeable figure. and the tactics of the 1960s, what king did is unquestionable for that reason. does the civil rights movement
>> i think today's interesting because people misremember king today. they remember the safe king, not the radical revolutionary king. >> stephen: what is the radical revolutionary king. >> he talked about redistribution of wealth and economic justice. he was much more aggressive than the dream that people remember. when you think about, you know, what is different about the civil rights movement now is really about technology, right. the issues that are the same. and we didn't invent resistance. we didn't discover injustice. the technology has allowed us to amplify these messages in ways we couldn't before and acceleratedded pace of organizing in ways that are really powerful. >> stephen: what is campaign zero. >> so campaign zero is a platform toand police violence. we cover things like police union contracts, use of force, bobby cameras. and it is we used with hillary, bernie, loretta lynch. >> stephen: were you at the debate. >> i was in charleston. >> stephen: how did you feel st went? do you think that the candidates up there addressed any of the issues that you were hoping for? >> yeah, i think there was
race that we have had at the debate so far, we have an acknowledgment of the issues at systemic issues. now we have to figure out what they plan to do. we heard hillary acknowledge white prif lige which she has never done before. bernie continued to talk about systemic injustice. and o'malley, you know, still got some work to do. >> stephen: now i might be, you can tell me, i might be the whitest person you've ever met. henry louis gaits the head of african-american studies at harvard after he took my dna. he had my dna sequenced and he said are you white, baby, you are the whitest man i've ever met. so i might have the most privilege of any white person you have ever met. how do i identify that in my own life? because if i have a white privilege i want to be able to identify it. give me some hints as to my white privilege. >> you have a show, you have a lot of money. >> stephen: that's true. >> a lot of access. >> stephen: yeah. >> that is true. have i a show, i have a lot of money. >> you do.
sitting here and are you sitting there is part of that white privilege. >> it's about role and about access. and what you can do is extend that privilege so you can dismantle it, right. you can create opportunity for peevment you can amplify issues in ways other people can't. and you can use your resources to create space for people. (applause) (cheers and applause). >> stephen: so deray, anything you would like to ask me about being white. >> yeah, i would love to know what you plan to do now that you understand your whiteness a little better to dismant tell. >> stephen: what am i going to do to dismantle white privilege. >> now what that you understand it, what are you going to do-- . >> stephen: i don't know if i do understand it i can dismantle drk dsh acknowledge it. >> let's dialogue. let's think about it. >> you have a lot of money, you have a show. >> stephen: you can't have my money. (laughter) >> what you can do.
my show. >> why do you think people are uncomfortable talking about race, why are white people uncomfortable talking about race. >> stephen: i can't speak for other white people. okay, i feel-- i feel guilty for anyone who does not have the things i have. and that includes, you know, black people or anyone because i am so blessed that i think there is always the fear it will be taken from you. >> and what can you do to manage that guilt? like what have you fowrchedz-- . >> stephen: i drink a fair amount. >> i drink-- (laughter) >> you're great. >> stephen: i mean-- i don't know, i'm shooting from the hip here, shooting from the hip here. hi you on the show, does that help at all. >> baby steps, you got to start somewhere. got to create space for the conversation. we can't address what we don't talk about. >> stephen: i was at the march on washington, does that help? >> you were at the march on washington. >> stephen: i was, my mom was there and she was pregnant with me. >> nice. i love it. i love it. i love it. >> stephen: baby steps. >> literal, literal baby steps.
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hello, nice to meet you. i'm john. we invited you here today about this new car. we removed all the badging and logos. so, what do you think it is? i would say lexus. maybe acura. let's look at the interior. reminds me of the inside of my friend's lexus. apple carplay siri, open maps. nice. wow. she gets me. someone really took their time laying this out. yeah. this car also has teen driver technology. it even mutes the radio until the seatbelts are buckled. wow. my husband could use that. i'm very curious what it is. what price range would you put this car in? fifty to sixty-five. the eighty-thousand dollar bracket. well, what if i told you this is the 2016 chevy malibu? this is a malibu? yeah, let's go check it out. no way, it's a chevy! oh, wow. and it sells for? it starts at twenty-two five. \ gasp! what? oh wow. p i'm very impressed.
i mean with all this technology? that's a game changer, really. i want one. i'll take the house, too. johnson's believes that bath time is more than cleansing. your loving touch stimulates his senses and nurtures his mind. the johnson's scent, lather, and bubbles help enhance the experience. so why just clean your baby, when you can give him so much more? other wireless carriers make families share data. not t-mobile! switch now and get four lines with up to six gigs each. and no sharing.
can't go with other boys don't tell me what to do and don't tell me what to say and, please, when i go out with you don't put me on display 'cause, you don't own me don't try to change me in any way you don't own me don't tie me down 'cause i'll never stay don't tell me what to do just let me be myself that's all i ask of you i'm young and i love to be
to all, and provide universal college education. will they like me? will they begin to play by the rules if i'm president? you better believe it. i'm bernie sanders and i approve this message. >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, thanks so much. before we go, i have a special announcement about babies. so if you don't know how babies are made, leave the room now. it's going to get graphic. i am proud to announce that we have three brand new additions
first when we were in produce production on the late show we were also in reproduction. cuz samuel buckly born to michael buckly and my multitalented producer nicole sevini. i have to say samuel is the greatest thing nicole has ever produced. daniel craig was able to do the whole scene while holding his head upright, get to work. >> and a few weeks ago we were joined by decker charles mathison, son of rebecca and andrew mathison, seen here planning a jewelry heist, evidently. (laughter) andrew is one of our crack editors here at the late show, so decker, with andrew as your dad, your home movies will be good enough to air on cbs's procedurals there are plenty of crimes that babies can solve. after all, what is peek a boo but an ongoing missing person's case. and we also welcomed mirastar
katherine clark and my writer aron cohen, aron is an incredible writer, in fact, he is the one in charge of writing all my adjectives, without him here on staff, i feel-- i done know what word to use. that was his job. luckily, we've hired an add jekive temp and i think it will work out just lumpy. of course you will notice that all these children were conceived before we started work on the show. that's not a koins dense. that
was the last time anyone here was able to make physical contact with the loved one. so to all the new col-babies, i would like to offer a piece of advice when you begin your lives, when the ball goes behind the couch, don't worry, it still exists. that's it for the late show, everyone. tune in tomorrow when my guests will be from "it's always sunny in philadelphia" charlie day, from life in pieces colin hanks and a musical performance by margo price. now stick around for my friend james corden.