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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  March 22, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EDT

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how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. pope francis joins instagram over the weekend and set a new record for the fastest person to reach 1 million followers, as opposed to jesus who was the slowest person to reach 12. [ laughter ] and we're off. [ laughter ] a new study shows donald trump speaks with the poorest grammar of any presidential candidate. trump says, "it's actually the poorliest." [ laughter ] donald trump announced over the weekend that he will release a list of judges that he would consider appointing to the supreme court if he's elected president. though, you can get a speak peek at the list by checking out tv guide. [ laughter ] any one of them. democratic national committee head debbie wasserman schultz
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today denied accusations that she is taking sides in the primary election season. and said, quote, there is no shred of evidence to suggest i'm favoring hillary clinton over bernie socialist, i mean bernie sanders, my apologies. [ light laughter ] bernie sanders, this weekend, gave a speech at the mexican border. actually, he was in vermont, but they could hear him at the mexican border. bernie sanders campaign has confirmed that he will not speak at a major pro-israel lobbying group conference this week making him the only presidential candidate to skip it. and if any candidate can get away with that, it's bernie from brooklyn. look at him. if israel were a person, that's what it would look like. [ laughter ] a massachusetts man who dressed as waldo was escorted by police out of boston's south station on sunday for acting disorderly. he apparently wouldn't stop yelling, "i'm right here you
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look at me!" starbucks announced today that they are introducing a new caramelized honey frappuccino to their menu. and then your dentist announced he's buying a new boat. [ light laughter ] a new study has found that using a standing desk might not be any healthier than sitting at one. so now you're just an idiot standing at your desk, carl! [ laughter ] you are not better than the rest of us, carl. according to a new survey, 1 in 12 people would rather break one of their arms than do their taxes, but that would make it tough to play his guitar. [ laughter ] i'll do it. i thought i had a willie nelson impression. i realized i don't. [ laughter ] "i'll break my arm." nope. still no. let me find it. on the road again there we go.
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[ laughter ] now i don't have it. [ laughter and applause ] and finally -- and finally, apple today unveiled a new iphone model that they have called the most powerful four inch device ever. "i've heard that before," said women. ladies and gentlemen, we have -- [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: -- a great show for you tonight. he is a fantastic actor. he's currently starring in broadway's "blackbird." jeff daniels is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] the fantastic jeff daniels. she's the star of a great show on tvland, "younger." sutton foster joins us this evening. [ cheers and applause ] and the author of fantastic new novel "the nest," cynthia d'aprix sweeney joins us on "late night." [ cheers and applause ] so looking forward to all of that. before we move on though, throughout the course of a
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in theory. and it's an election year, which means republicans are once again calling for massive tax cuts that they say would spur economic growth. but how would those policies work in reality? well, over the last few years, we've gotten an answer in one state who's governor actually implemented those ideas. kansas. for more on how it turned out, it's time for "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] now, when you hear kansas, you probably think "wizard of oz," college basketball or the state that based on its shape, looked like someone nibbled on colorado. [ laughter ] but, in the last few years, kansas has also become something of a laboratory for conservative economic policies under its governor sam brownback, who cut taxes for the wealthy and completely eliminated income taxes for small businesses. a plan he boldly described this way. >> on taxes you need to get your overall rates down and you need to get your social manipulation out of it, in my estimation to create growth.
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and, you know, we'll see how it works. we'll have a real, live experiment. >> seth: real live experiment is a terrible sales pitch for something. those words usually only show up in shady, classified ads. [ laughter ] nonetheless, brownback got his tax cuts. which he said were designed to show the rest of the country that these policies could work on a national level. brownback told the "wall street journal" in 2013, "my focus is create a red state model that allows the republican ticket to say, 'see, we've got a different way and it works.'" and not only did brownback say it would work, but that it would work fast. or as he put it -- >> a small business accelerator where you take the tax totally off your sub s's or llcs and llcs. so you really get your acceleration, it's like shooting adrenaline into the heart of growing the economy. >> seth: "a shot of adrenaline into the heart of the economy." like in "pulp fiction" with kansas as uma thurman and brownback as john travolta. [ laughter ]
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okay. so, how did that shot of adrenaline -- the kansas city -- the kansas tax cut, work out? >> kansas is broke, extremely broke. >> seth: that's right, job growth in kansas lagged behind the rest of the country. and while supporters predicted the plan would generate $323 million in new revenue, it actually produced a $688 million loss. kansas' budget problems were so bad, in fact, that they were forced to raise tax money in 2014 using a somewhat novel strategy. >> profiting from porn. the state of kansas will soon earn money from selling sex. >> it's no secret that sex sells. and right now, hundreds of adult toys are sitting in a kansas city warehouse and are up for auction online. and while the company, equip-bid, will get a commission, most of the money from the sale of the items will end up in the hands of the kansas government. >> seth: that's right, they auctioned off sex toys from an adult store that owed back taxes. and it turned out to be an unusually popular auction. >> on average, the company,
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equip-bid has about 1,500 people looking at a specific auction online. but ever since the company made a special pick up for a special customer, that number has jumped to 5,000 people who want to know what's inside these boxes. >> seth: dildos. [ laughter ] that's what's inside of those boxes. dildos. just boxes and boxes of dildos. and now, here are the jokes we thought of for the kansas dildo auction. [ laughter ] nothing like selling fake dicks to solve a problem created by a real one. [ laughter and applause ] selling the dildo's didn't solve the whole budget problem, just the tip. [ laughter ] it's hard to sell dildo's to people that are already [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] and the worst one, "dildo, i don't think we're in kansas anymore." [ laughter ] so the budget situation in kansas was bad. but brownback argued that his policies just needed more time
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and kansas voters gave him that time, electing him to a second term in 2014. that's how nice the people of kansas are. he was like, "i know we are not where we want to be, but just give me some more time." and they were like, "okay." and surely things have gotten better in the years since. >> big budget woes for the state of kansas. the state faces a $279 million short fall for the budget-year which began in july and another $436 million gap for next fiscal year. >> seth: okay, so the experiment didn't work. it was worth a try. surely, now brownback raised taxes to cover the short fall. >> the governor wants to cut classroom funding for kansas schools by $127 million. >> balancing the budget on the backs of children. some say governor sam brownback's new budget hurts the youngest people in kansas. >> seth: by youngest people, surely you mean high schoolers, not younger than that, right? >> wednesday, governor sam brownback released plans to reduce $106 million in spending
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proposed moving $50 million from the children's initiative fund designed to pay for programs such as head start, preschool, childcare assistance. >> seth: things are so bad for preschoolers in kansas, they're out of focus. [ laughter ] and then there's the job growth brownback promised. he set a goal of creating 25,000 new jobs a year into his second term. but in 2015, the state gained just 9,400 private sector jobs. and most of those jobs were packing and shipping those dildos. [ laughter ] perhaps the most damning part is a lot of kansas' business owners don't even want the tax cuts they are getting. last week, the topeka capital journal reported that business owners urged the kansas state house committee to raise their own taxes. asking to have the state raise your taxes is unheard of. it's like asking your gluten free friend to, "tell me more about that." [ laughter ] "oh that very dense muffin is
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