tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC November 29, 2016 11:35pm-12:35am EST
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's tonight, benedict cumberbatch, isla fisher, "this week in unnecessary censorship" and music from flatbush zombies. and now, moving right along -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ eers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: thyou. thank you. ve nice of you. hi, everybody. thank you. i'mm i'm e hostf the show. thank you for watcng. thanks to all of you for coming. wow, that'very nice. i'm glad you're with us. you know, we have a good one tonight.
[ cheers and applause ] stars in the new marvel movie >> jimmy: doctor strange" which if you don't know is the story of a former neurosurgeon that gets drawn into a strange world he kno nothing about. it's based on the life of dr. ben carson. to we still remember him how many of you watched the debate last night? [ cheers and applause ] how many oyou did not watch the debate last night? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: okay, good. we got some dummies in last night from las vegas, trump versus clinton threeand just like that we'rone step closer to never having to watch cable news again. it was the third most watched debate in history. more than 71 million people watched/screamed at their tv. there were a fewore catch phrases and guillermo got a new hat out of it. >> that's right. >> jimmy: i like that. are you selling those?
hombres. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: bad hombres was one of the more memorable sayings from trump. the problem is we pronounced it like this. >> we have bad aumbre here. >> jimmy: whi means what, gurmo? >> hungry. >> jimmy: donald trump is in trouble, we have bad ngries here. di ssh?erin >> aumbr? hombre. >> jimmy: there were a number of zingers last night. i thought this was a good one too. >> it is up to us to make that true now and in the future and particularly for our children and our grandchildren. tru? >> nobody has more respect for women than i do, nobody.
donald trump respects women more than even they respect emselves. that's important to remember. trump needed a strong performance in the debate. his poll numbers have been dropping, and after last night, he is only hope is michael j. fox shows up with time machine. ne seems to know the end is he refused to say whether orot he would accept the outcome of the elon. he said he'd look at it at the election and keep us in suspense. that's a controversial thing to say, so today people went nuts. he clarified today, an holl issue to bed. >> ladies and gentlemen, i want to ma joannouncement today. i would like to promise and pledge to all of my voters a supporters and to all of t people of the united states th i will totally accept the
historic presidential election if i win. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: i feel the same way. now he's just rewi with us, right? has to be a joke at this point. speaking of jokes, tonight this is interesting. clinton and trump are at a di the al smith dinner. he was the governor of new york '20s. the dinr is a charity event thrown annually by the diocese there, the catholic church. it's a tradition in the candidates to show up and tell jokes like aoast. in 2012 mitt romney and obama. they both joked around. 2008, obama and john main joked. tonight hillary and donald are one seat apart with a cardinal sitting between them like an unhappy couple hoping to g their marriage annulled.
a lot of people believe the reason he got into pitics is because president obama roasted him at the house correspondents' dinner. if the cardinal starts making fun of him, he might try to run for pope. [ laughter ] i want to say congratulationto the cleveland indians. who are headed to the world series. [ cheers and applause ] the fir. they will play the winner of the dodgers/cubs series. this is a big one. the cubs haven't won the world series since like 1425 or something. [ laughter ] like00 years. to capture the excitement in a tequila bottle, we sent our sports correspondent guillermo t dodger stadium to chat with the players in this exclusive on-field report. >> guillermo: who what are you going for halloween? >> i might be myself. >> guillermo: myself? why? >> it's a good costume. no one will expect it. >> guillermo: that's going to be very scary. when you plabaseba and y
do you think about sex? >> no, because then i'll get really excited. >> guillermo: what's your >> home base.? yeah. i like home base. >> guillermo: onof my favorite bases with girls. >> i got a girlfriend. >> guillermo: oh, you got girliend, oh. what's her favorite base? [ laughter ] >> guillermo: can you si m >> guillermo: here. >> a basketbl? why don't you have a baseball? >> guillermo: i couldn't find one. >> the ball looks like this, we'll be in good shape. >> a basketball? [ speaking spanish ] >> guillermo: i like how you hold the bl, my ball, i like ho. >> a basketball, not your ball. i'm holding a basketball right now. >> guillermo: last thing, can i
touch my moustache. g good luck tonight. >> yeah, let's go. >> guillermo: now you can touch myustache. >> oh! than mine. is a lot nic you do a better jonathan me. >> guillermo: okay, when you pitch you've got to follow through, okay? ok? you left, so you step like this and you go, and then. all right? >> just like that? >> guillermo: just like that. show me? that's it. it. ow mhoyodo it. >> i just step. yeah. >> guillermoyou have work more on that. >> i have to work on it? >> guillermo: yeah. >> okay. >> guiller: can give you a hug for good luck? >> thank you. i got to get ready. >> guillermo: okay. >> i got to give 115. >> guillermo: okay. two more seconds. >> i have to get rey. you want to come with me? >> guillermo: yeah, i'll come
back to you, jim. >> jimmy:racias, guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] game six of the nlcs is saturday on fs 1. and the world series starts tuesday on fox. it is thursday night which as you know means it's time to bleep and blur the tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in uncessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> good evening. let methe last person to welcome you to tonight's debate and also the last person to [ bleep ] you. >> what we want to do is to replenish. >>uch a nasty [ bleep ]. >> every morning i [ bleep ] once in the middle of the day and [ bleep ] at night. i like [ bleep ]. >> the dodgers playing is obvious. pitch kribryant and anthony riz i don't carefully and [ bleep ] everyone else. advice for donald?one word of >> [ bleep ].
i have very clean [ bleep ]. >> called brrnts bernie sanders a. [ bleep ] . did you? >> well, you know -- you know. ? >> we brokthe record? is it the biggest ever, grandpa? >> well, it's certainly the biggest [ bleep ] i've ever seen, and i've seen lots. >> dd trump is a man who sees a [ bleep ] and wants to [ bleep ] it. [ cheers and appe ] >> jimmy: when when we come back fr the break,hen we return our old friend and trump superfan jake bird was in las vegas for the dete. we send jake to all the g political events. this is what we got from him at the republican national convention. >> give the guy some air. give the guyome air. he's hilarious. i love this guy.
to vegas so stick arnd! to vegas so stick arnd! [ cheers and applause ] ? (laughs..) here it is. ? ? hey dad! ? wishes do come true. the lincoln wish list s event is on. lincoln family of luxury vehicles. sign and drive off in a new 2017 lincoln mkc with zero down and a complimentary first month's payment. r dark, we come...
they're everywhere. and as a marriewards mber, i can embrace them all. the new marriott portfolio of hotels now has 30 brands in over 110 countrie the so no matter whereolio you go, you are here. join or link accounts at members.marriott.com. remember 2007? smartphones? o m g hello moto. apjb on a speake put a 70" screen on a wall. get a 10x opticazoom. get excited world. hello moto. moto is here. the new moto z with motomods. save up to $400 when you trade in your old phone and switch to verizon. i had frequent heartburn,
cc1 test message cc1 test message >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. benedict cumberbatch, isla zombies is on the way. the third and final presidential debate was in las vegas yesterday. cameras were there, the lamestam media was there, also donald trump's number one supporterake bird. jake made a pilgrimage to vegas to file isy special port. >> good morning from las vegas. i'm staying at the trump hotel . unlimited shrimp.
? ? you take the high road and i'll take the low road ? ou ? i'll be in the white e wrg. wrong. can't read that. i'm from chino, california. can i tell youom when they go low, i get high. free billy bush! free billy bush! trump's case a locker room ald talk. let me tell you sothing, i know about locker room talk. i remember it from high school. everyone would say this like, wine coolers? how coach gives us why is coach taking a shower with us again? when i get over and have big boy hair i'm going to shave it into
it's locker room talk. full of nickels on donald trump to win the big debate. thde can wait. i'm going to go for a ride on a sex bike. i've seen larger. >> who areou convincg toow come to you and see you as a presidenal candidate? she's so pretty and i love her so much. >> she's a 2 at best. >> oh! >> she's noty first choice, this i can telyou. >> i would certainly say the news coverage has been stilted. i really don't know about rigging -- >> i'll tell you, the entire thing is rigged. okay? gu like us can't vote, wha because of public urination charges?
it couldn't happen not getting fooled again. ep forgetting. >> i'll be voting for donald trump based on the issue explained in this speech. >> exactly. this guy's got it all going on up here. everyone is getting on donald trump about attacking ladies and grabbing their baby caves. listen to what he wrote. crippled america. listen. >> that's okay respect that's okay -- >> page 27. you're going to like this. >> i'l talk to you after. you didn't read this. >> first class. the blonde wd on. irabbed her and gave her a goodhellacking with my tongue. then came the redhead. she reached arounde and started my verynipples. >> is that clinton who are you talking about, clinton? >> the stewardess wald and up said, warm nut yes, they are, i said. yes, they are. >> i'm sorry. donald trump is just the most dangerous person ever to run for the presidency of the united states. anentitled to it.
why doesn't dond trump like siegfried and roy? because their ssies grab them. >> a big issue right now is economic, safety, and health care. >> exactly. the fell femmecrats want to talk about transgenders using bathrooms. hillary clinn deleted 33, >> the debate is starting. i know the hottest place to watch it. come on. hot slots. bartender? i would like one shot of grownup liqu every time they say the "v" wo. >> grown-up liquor, okay. >> this guy's buying. >> if you become president ts country is going to be in some mess such a nty woman.
it has been a disaster, ani didn't even apogize to my wife. >> well, let's go geid. ld trump won. where are my nickels at? where are all my nickels at?>> just say? >> just locker room talk. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. >> t trump ship! trump ship! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. tonight on the show we have music from flatbush zombies, isla fisher is he 'lbe right back with benedi cumberbatch. the one for an adventurer. the one she's been eyeing all year. ?
things to different people? ?different ings to different people? [gasp] the gift they're waiting for is waiting on ay. ?that's what happiness is? new,nique, and everything in between. find it. add it. get it fast. during the ford end event, discover why ford ?i'm on top of the world, hey!? with theost 5-star ratings... award-winning value... d the highest owner loyalty... ng drivers what matters most. that's how you become america's be-selling brand. during the ford year end event get an extra thod dollar black friday bonus cash on top of all other great offers. to visit your ford deale nothing says "treat yourself" like red lst holiday seafood celebration. so try new dishes like the new grand seafood feast, and the new wild-caught lobster & shrimp trio, wi lobster mac-and-cheese ppedobster tail.
their album is called "3001: a laced odyssey" - flatbush zombies from the crown royal outdoor stage. next week we'll be visited by felicity jones, mario bata gordon ramsay, andrew garfield, miles teller, our pal science bl have music from jimmy eat worl conor oberst, alessia cara and on monday night, president barack obama will be here on t show. ch that seat. our fir guest tonight is an oscar-nominated actor and soon to be sorcerer supreme, he plays the master of mystical arts in marvel's "doctor strange." it opens in theaters and imax v cumberbatch! [ cheers and applause ] ?
>>hank you. thank you. >> jimmy: how's it going? thank you for coming. i know the "doctor strange" premiere is just acrs the street. they have just finished building. it'sxciting. >> jimmy: they clod down the whole block. iterting.c to get thug >> jimmy: we're used to it here. are you excited? >> it's the first time i get to see the film. >> jimmy: you've n seen it? >> no. there's uble trepidation. there's always a butterfly in the stomacen a premiere me. but when you're seeing it for the first time. >> jimmy: i love that i've seen it and you haven't. isn't that sometng? [ laughter ] i'not in the movie aas i >> iit okay? >> jimmy: it's great. it's really good, yeah. >> that's all right. >> jimmy: and i love doctor strange. that's one of my favorite reason. rs from the comics, it >> jimmy: there's something about when you're a little kid, you imagine having these powers. it's different from the other
there's a supernatural element that i like. i thyou dib. you'll be pleased, i think, when you see it. >> thank you. ll come back and tell you. >> jimmy: are you comfortable with watching yourself on screen? >> never. >> jimmy: yeah. >> never. that's why i wanted to do it in a worldwide premiere. ease me into it. no, it's weird, isn't it. i get what most people think when they hear themsels back on an answering machine.y? li>> jimmy: that's a gd point. >> that's like watching your work as an actor times a thousand. it's just very pecuar t it. when people hear their voice played back ty go, i don't sound like that. it's uncomfortable. >> i've never heard anyone say i sound great! >> jimmy: donald trump, i bet he thinks he sounds great [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: guaranteed. [ cheers and applause ] >> i wondering how you were going to jam the trump in. there he is. >> jimmy: ll, you know. >> i'd like to say it's the english examinatard,ion bo don't accept those results. i d not n, so i --
were they satisfactory? >> they were n the results i actually got. [ laughter ] thing s definitely fixed. >> jimmy: when you're in the theater and watching the movie for the first time, i would agine the people around you are gog to be very aware of your pnc >> yeah. that'soint. i hadn't thought of that, ah. >> jimmy: they can't text. >> that's the guy on the screen! >> jimmy: and if they do -- >>'ll growl at them if they text. >> jimmy: you absolutely should. >> i'll get english and middle class and tut loudly in the quiebits. >> jimmy: do you feel compelled to react and clap? >> oversupport my own place? yeah. no. now you're going to make me feel like i'm really se-conscious. i'moing g tt therwith a blank face. >> jimmy: if you're not self-conscious there -- >> a blank face. >> jimmy: e the movie? a locations? >> we did. >> jim: hong kong is one of the? >> hong kong, london. we rebuilt what we used of hong
complex scene in the fil we couldn't havehot it like people see iin the movie. we filmed in london, and in long cross. which was the udio. we killed in nepal and kathmandu, which was amazing. >> jimmy: d you been there before? >> i had been, yeah. very briefly. when i was a student after i got the "a" level results that don't count, i went on a trip to teach english as a foreign languagebe. but we took a week out the oth voluntrsnd to we had a fantasticime. we were only in kathmandu a day and a night to plan the trips. one of the plans didn't involve having a map -- well, we had a ma but not a guide for a walk into the himalayas. >> jimmy: wow. >> there were four of us. mountain sickness struck, and then three of us and then two of us? >> jimmy: they died? [ laughter >> no. >> jimmy: oh my god. >> that's the kind of ribbing i like to give. lk casually about two friends who passed away on a trip.
casual tunny funny story about e deatof dear frnds. >> jimmy: phillip and bob, we'll miss them. >> great air time on a talk show. no, seriously, they were fine, i and it was scary, but they lived to tell the tale th went back down the mountain. mountain towels. felt like a it was high enough to get mountain sickness. put it that way. we carried on ill advisedly without a guide. maps were very poor in those days, pre-gps. getting it rig when you get it wrong. i started to get the same mountain sickns, and you have to go fast down and we literally reached one of the metaphor forks in the road. we didn't know which would go was heavy mist. we went down the path and went down which is od in a way, but it just hit a dead end of bamboo and then rocks and cliff we were lost for a day and a half and a night. it was quite scary. >> jimmy: who found you?
this plateau outside of walking through -- god, we went through a river, we went thugh a bit of jungle at the ler part of the mountain, then broke onto this sort of pasture land that julie andrews didn't find us. m" [ laughter me kdly shepherd did, and we did the univsal sign for hunger. we'd literally been kind of -- >> jimmy: what is the universal sign for that? >> i think it's something like this. it's like baby sign lauage. h! >> jimmy: and they fed you? >> we had a delightful meal of greens a boiled eggs. noing to do with cooking, but i did get amoebic dysentery. jimmy: when we're in college, we go to daytona beach and lift up our shirts. it's an entirely different exence. we're going to take a break. wmb k, we'll see a clip from the new movie "doctor strange." benedict cumberbatch is here.
[ cheers applause ] we catch flo, e progressive girl, the supermarket buying cheese. scandal allis dairy?! woman: busted! [ laughter ] right afterwards we caught he riding shotgun with a mystery man. oh, yeah! indistinct shoutin] is this your chauffeur? what?! oh, yeah! no, i was just shong him how easy it is to save with snapshot from progressive. yojust plug it in and it gives you a rate based on your driving. does she have insurance for being boring? [ light laughter ]
side theack houses of jim beam, every barrel is aged four long yes, for a fuller, smoother flavor. our history is made from the inside. ll you make yours? we need a big tree. something for everyone to gather around. else i'm thinking? lights! some help. got it! and the ornaments might take little bit more time. what do you think bullseye? [ bark ] ok, let's do this! hey! hows this look? hmm? whoa! what do ya think? 's like you... ? ? it's like you read my mind! during the ford year e event, discover why ford is america's best-selling brand. ?i'm on top of the world, hey!? with the most 5-star ratings... award-winning value...
that's how you become america's best-selling brand. during the ford year end event ge black friday bonus cash top of all other great offers. it's aamazing time to visit your ford dealer. at ove garden, yourorite come togetheat, wi o new flavorfilled pairings. y our freshly filled pastas bursting with indulgenflperfpaie steak, shrimp or chicken. comfort and joy, happiness and cheer. sed and breadsticks you want. bring flavorfilled pairings and your family together this holiday...at . i just see a black screen. what are you looking at? i jucrazy uff, man.screen. you've gotta see this. what--what is this?
oh yai yai yai yai yai yai. look at the moon. wht. ? ? is that coffee? yea, it's nespresso. i want in. ? ? ? ? get ready to experience a cup above. is that coffee? nespresso. what else? whenever i try to grow out my, practically unbr r the o-v formula makes every inch stronger. so i can love my hair longer.
? >> jimmy: benedict cumberbatch! "doctor strange" opens in theaters and imax november 4th. wh you put on the doctor strange, do you call it a costume? is it appropriate to s ctume th >> should think so. yeah, definitely a costume. >> jimmy: the first time what happened when you put it on? for the first time? >> t firstime was with -- in a costume fitting, and we'd done a lot of t script, and i'm thrilled with how the character ed, and s place in the marvel cinematic universe and althe story beats. i put the idea i was playing a superhero on the back burner, and in the fitting i looked in the mirror, and started to smilke a giddy childaner we going yep, seethat look before. you're hg rhero moment, aren't you? [ ughter ] it's jt wonderful. >> jimmy: did alex design other
>> quite a few,yes. she wked on thor and i forgot all her credits, but yes, she's done qte a few of thfilms. that suited me. it meant literally that she was used to every kind of complaint about harnesses ripping delicate parts of your body to pieces. >> jimmy: because you're fing? >> yeah, that clip,hat was fun. so mad's kicking he and me flying backwards. mads mickelson. >> jimmy: i ruins it a little when you call t bad guy matt. >> mads. >> jimmy: mads? >> his name is mad with an "s." >> jimmy: sorry. now it's better. >> yeah. mads. >> jimmy: did you ever go anywhere publicly in the costume? >> well, yeah, i did.it waslighb circumstance. i'm not one for halloween -- it's my day job to get dressed
we were filming on fifth avenue in new york which was another pinch yourself moment. right in the shadow of the empire state building. some of the great comics originated there, and in this incredible costume, this red oak and blue costume, the red and blue being significant. i thought this is another superhero moment. and i thought, wow. there ara lot of crewsti in the wayf the and i realized they were paparazzi. a swarm of about 20 of them. there was nowhere to escape. even between shots, there's only so much you can do without knowing it's going to be turnnto a meme or a gif. annoy people. going to let's get a coffee. i was with my wifend a couple frnds. there was a great cafe around the corner. we'll go there. they can be hey, it' gsat to ha you back! she meant she worked theren a i walked in and went -- expecting a welce. these new yorker bless them. new yorkers do.
leut fihetheir conversations. i s news for a millisecond in this cafe, and i sat down and had an aold palmer. >> jimmyin this neighborhood people would probably give you a dollar for a photograph. [ laughter ] there are a l of superhees here, yocould blend. >> i've sn, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i don't want to say i had a negative experien with dr. strange. i did have a negative -- >> strange? >> jimmy: yes, yes, i hired doctor strangeo hee something. i think we have the video. >> i haven't sn this. what's this? >> jimmy: got to be kidding me. where is this guy? >> hi, i'm doctor steven strange, master of the mystic arts. soy i'm late but the traffic on the as central plwas unbeeva. >> jimmy: it's 3:30. you were supposed to be here at 3:00. i'm not paying for the last half
spenseith the all talk. show me the demons. >> jimmyl right. here they are. [ screaming ] >> i don't underst are they possessed? >> jimmy: basically. they ate, like, 50 cupcakes. [ screaming ] >> all right. i'll vanquish th. >> jimmy: no. what is it -- no. no vanquishing. just do tricks. pull a rabbit out of somewhere. do tricks. >> a rabbit? misunderstanding. i don't do tricks. >> jimmy: you don't do tricks? >> no. >> jimmy: this clearly says the mightiest macian ithe cosmos. >> everyone exaggerates their i mean, look at yours.t they? jimmy kimmel, america's favorite late nightt. >> jimmy: that's true, is it not true? >> is it? >> jimmy: that's a cute necklace.
agamoto! iot. >> jimmy: sorry. hey, i don't think this is working out. i think i'm going to hire a spongebob or sometng. thanks for coming. >> how much? >> jimmy: 50. >> wait. i have an idea. >> you suck! >> next? >> jimmy: happy birthday t you cus? >> marcus? oh, he went home. >> o crap. >> he disappeared him! do you want to go homwith rcus? >> no. >> be quiet. [ laughter ]
u. free at at well thank you. discover.com/creditscorecard, even if you're not a customer. remember 2007? smartphones? o g smartphones? ars later, nothing's really changed. it's time to snap out of it. hello . snap on a jbl speake put a 70" screen on a wall. get a 10tical zoom. get excited world. hello moto. save up to $0 when you trade in your d phone and switch to verizon. every day starts better with a healthy smile. start yours with philips sonicare, the no.1 choice of dentists. compared to oral-b000, philips sonicare flexcare platinum removes significantly mo plaque. this is the sound of son technology cleaning deep between teeth. hear the differenc
innovation and you. philips sonicare. save now when you buy philips sonicare. this week at kl's it's time to get moving with 25% off nike apparel shoes and accessories r thfamily. at kohl's, you'll save a little more with an exa 25% off nike and earn a little more with yes2you rewards so you can give a lile more this holiday. kohl's. just press "cleaand n" t roomba from irobot help with your everyday messes.
always clean. you and omba, from irobot. better. tother. our mission is to produce programs and onlincontent for african women as they try to build theibusinesses and careers. my name is yasmin belo-osa band i'm a co-fesat s lead. and careers. i definitely could not do my job withoutechnology. windows 10 device, the touchscreen allows you to kind of pinpoint what you're talking about. which makes communication much easier and faster
>> jimmyyou kn our next guest from "the great gatsby", "wedding crashers" and other films based on great works of literare. her new cody is called "keeping up with the joneses." please say hello to isla fisher. [ cheersnd applause ] ? good to see you. so, isla, you look gre. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: last nht gal gadot was here, your costar in this film. you, gal, jon hamm, zach lifianakis. she's gorgeous. >> miss israel. beautiful. >> jimmy: she'saller than i am, how tall is she?
jimmy: she could be playing professional baskeall. >> she's doing it right now. jimmy: she was very, very excid about her makeout scene with you. i mean very excited. >> well, well, well, my husband would like to hear that. yes, it was not the siest makeout session. >> jimmy: it wt? she seemed to have no proble with it. >> well, i needed a stdder. >> jimmy: right. >> and she's a bit like a victoria secret model and i'm like a hobbit from "lord of the rings." i crawl u >> jwere y really on a laer? >> no. a little box.x. >> jimmy: sashayour husband, is tall. >> that's righ so you think i should be used to -- >> jimmy: itmsike u shoulde use. >> yeah. 15 years, kissing different places. >> jimmy: i see. >> but no, it was actually really refreshing to kiss gal. also have makeout scenes with
he's my husband in the movie. he was less enthusiastic. >> jimmy: he was? wait a minute, why? really? that's interesting. >> i don't know. i've had to kiss people in movies before, and i've never had a problem, but he was incredibly reluctant. >> jimmy: maybe zach hasn't really had any love scenes i movies. now that i think about it he probably hasn't, really. maybe this was -- i don't know. >> i don't know, but away, it was like when you take a kid to get a ot at the doctor and it's like, come on it will jt an second, it will be over in a minute! i was and i remember right before i had to kiss he los at me seriously sa, penis has retreated to my lower instine. [ laughter ] i said, zach, you can't say that to an actress before the love e. and by the way -- even if you're not an actor, there's no woman on the planet that wants to hear someone's penis has retreate into their lower intestine. and then i was like, okay, we can do it.
take your shirt off. take ioff and relax. pretend we're not doing this. just do it. and he's standing right there. he has his shirt off. how's sasha?to kiss and he says, i'm like, again! tryi to make this movie. >> jimmy: how is sasha? did yoever answer that question? what's he up to? what's going on with him? >> sha jrthd. >> jimmy: how old is h>> 4 >> jimmy: okay, yeah, that's a etty big birthda >> and i felt so much pressure to do something amazing because i had a big birthday recently. king oit: more in >> that should have been -- where were you when i was planning the birthday? >> jimmy: i thought that s my birthday present. [ laug ] >> no, but he did the most amazing thing for my birthday. >> jimmy: what did he company? >> so i had a big birthday recently, 25. [ laughter ] i have to set the scene. upstairs in my bathroom, putting on mascara for my party.
i don't know if you have them, but they make your lashes goeous. i'm puing them on and he comes in and he's like oh, you like katy perry. i'm like, you know that, i love katy perry. i keep putting the lasheon. t abouit again. i'm on t dance floor and stuffing case in my moutand chatting to moms from my school, and i see thisiamond microphone. of course, i'm a little drunk. i'm australian. okay, i was very drunk. i shis sparkling microphone and katy perry in front of me, and sheerenades andings me i can't remember how many songs. it was so amazing because i love her so much. she sang these songs and i had to pretend, because she was staring at me, that i didn't know the lyrics. >>immy: your birthday entertainment was katy perry and he arranged it? >> yeah. sasharrangethat for me. >> jimmy: what did you get him? >> uh-oh. okay. i messed up bad. >> jimmy: it was bad? >> it is.
wanted to repay something magical, something amazingha can you buy sasha? he can buy himself anything. wean do what he wants. two kittens. >> jimmy: two kittens? >> he's a little bit allergic, but i forgot. [ laughter >> jimmy: what? you got him kittens? >> i did you should have seen his face.w. i was so excited. i forgot hwas allergic, and i'm holding the box. i'm excited. i remembered their and i hand it over and he openthe box anhe's like oh, babe, babe. d he just shut his eyes. and i felt so dumb. >> jimmy: what happened? do you still have them? >> we've got the kittens still. >>immy: you do? >> he's sneezing a lot. i feel really -- i couldn't get him katy perry. >> she wout do itwice. >> jmy: ah, yeah. two kittens? not one kitten?
gal, yeah. it's very go to see you. congratulatis on the movie. sorry about the kittens. put them up for adtion. isla fisher, everybody! "keeping up with the joneses" opens in theaters tomorrow. we'l back with flatbu zombies! [ cheers and applae ] ? >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series brought t you by new crown royal wh
test text1 italics >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is brght to you by crownoyal vanilla whisky. vanilla so good. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank benedict cumberbatch, isla fisher and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of ti "nightline" i next but this is their call bum called "3001, a laced odyssey." here with the song radeoff" withome help from rhythm roots all-stars, flatbush zombies!
? hey hey hey hey hey hey hey ? ? it's that work hard play hard make you quit that day job ? ? i smoked so mh this year we ? i plan to take a trip want the money how it's spent i just re-up ? ? plus i just paimy pne and up we going up you slowing up i never judge what ? ? you indulge in truth i never touchethis stuff ? ? one puff of tt fluffy stuff it hit me like a sucker punch side effects include ? ? mass paranoia plus the cotton my people ?another bottle with ?this was a movie we picts living bitter and i whatever ?m - whatever ? telling me different nothing is given without sacrificing something as close to peop ? ? ya chill with pray for the
? and lord willin' we all live to be 20 million outcome infinite dawg wh t ? cause five years ago we came to be without disappearing ? ? it's that work hard play hard make you quit that day job ? ? i ske mh this year we couldn't even take a day off ? ? i plan to take a trip want th money how it's spe i just re-up ? ? plus i just paid my phone and the rent ? i just got ad loaf smoke so much this year ? ? we couldn't even take a day off twenty something years i never had a had a day ? ? job ? ? nevskorruth it's what expected it's a trade-off ? ? real playa lit getting money bound to flip nonchalant like i am it man i told you how it gets ? ? it's th mixtape rap blunt rap up on the bum in a audi ? ? black tote straps looki for yack so i could go top speed with the blinkers on ? ? screaming "what you want" martin king is gone who am i who am i ? ?andsome guy might style on you brothas with a patch on my eye ?
? i preach for freaks we gon wi the outcome toke toke and choke ? we just need your vote float so this the future ain't what ya used to ? ? four years ago i was poorer than you are trappg in the lobby and the backf a u-haul ? ? it's that work hard play hard i just got a load off smoke so much this year ? ? we couldn etake a day off twenty something years i never had a had a day ? ? job ? ? neversk for truth it's what expected it's a trade-off ? ? it's at work hard play hard make you quit that day job ? ? i smoked so much this year we uldn't even take a day off ? money how it's spent i just -up ? ? plus i just paid my phone and the rent ? st in peace to trayvon ?ay hard ? did so much different drugs this year i'm feelinso ? lsdhepont dos smoke a then i take off two frea one meech that's an even trade-off ? ? rosemary's baby the hand that
had six exorcisms this ? ? year alone and i feel the same i'm high and sleep deprive having nightmares ? ? wle i'm still awa 40 oue sipper until my liver gi away i think i lost my mind and ? ? i'm willing to trade my soul if youan find it an even exchange i'm young and deranged ? ? all these drugs in my body ? ? rawer than the kilo und my granddaddy pillow ? ? work hard play hard ? ? work hard play hard ?
this is "nightline." >> tonight, miracle survivors. a jetliner carrying a soccer team to a champiop series tr ically slamsnto a mountainous area. the fuselage destroyed. 71 dead, but six people somehow survived. what we know p the husband speaks out. new details about the horrific trauma endured by this california mom rortedly abducted. her ptors potentially using psychological tortureechniques and even branding her wh a age. ?>> or tv. ourst dreams coming true. taylg brand to