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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  February 29, 2016 12:05am-1:07am EST

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all members of the academy who are eligible are invited to vote their nominations for best
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in most other categories, the nominations are decided by a vote of the members working in that specific category. then the entire membership chooses from those nominations the recipients of the oscars. and finally, the results of all the secret voting are known only to the independent accounting firm of pricewaterhousecoopers until the sealed envelopes are opened on the air. tt2watu#@m4 bt@qu)d tt2watu#@m4 "a@qe% tt2watu#@m4 bm@qn., tt4watu#@m4 " dztq ]:h tt4watu#@m4 " entq ->( tt4watu#@m4 " gzt& 49p tt4watu#@m4 " hnt& $7< tt4watu#@m4 " iztq n^d tt4watu#@m4 " jntq \.$
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impreza. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. (donkey sound) (elephant sound) there's a big difference between making noise, (tapping sound) and making sense. (elephant sound) (donkey sound) when it comes to social security, we need more than lip service. our next president needs a real plan to keep social security strong. (elephant noise) hey candidates. enough talk.
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two people behind bars in connection with the on kidnapping of this baby found in orlando after being taken from her south florida home at gunpoint. the disappearance triggered a statewide amber alert. we've been following this story since yesterday morning. >> we told you broward county deputies say two-month-old taraji kemp was kidnapped friday night after taken from a home in fort lauderdale. orange county deputies found her yesterday on long road and the rosemont area of orlando. not far from orange blossom trail. roy ramos has found out they have made to go arrest in the case. >> reporter: after a 17 hour ordeal the search for two-month- old was kidnapped has ended. taraji kemp taken from her home was found abandoned in orange miles away from home. investigators say the impotence disappearance came after an armed home invasion where two suspects stormed into a house and took the child lying next to her mother.
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broward county sheriff deputies arrested 34-year-old stephanie augustin. state troopers spotted her driving back to south florida after they said she fled to orange county where she has an apartment. also arrested august is cousin who investigators say were her accomplice. we learned augustine is the cousin of the infants -- infant's mother. a spokesperson tweeted the infant will be reunited with mom. we reached out to dcf who said they were now investigating the decisions were being made regarding the custody of the child. the department is working with law enforcement to ensure the child is safe and assess the family situation and circumstances that led to the events. roy ramos, channel 9 eyewitness news. she's being held in the brown county jail with no bond. facing several charges including aggravated child abuse, kidnapping and you can -- picture getting to them the delicacy of the money. 14-year-old in custody. we will take -- they are top of the story.
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website wftv.com and during eyewitness news is morning starting at 5:00. following breaking news right now, within the last hour we found the inmate who is a -- escape from daytona beach going to kentucky with his girlfriend is back in volusia county tonight. derek both junior and natasha quigley have been extradited and both being held a county jeb and detective said she helped bullet get out of work release after ditching his ankle monitor earlier this year. altamonte police not releasing details about the murder of a man near seminole state college. they found his body in the parking lot last night. investigators say he was shot and killed. if you have information about the crime called police. a brevard county youth basketball coach facing charges for child molestation. detectives caught 51-year-old david white at a hotel in the city bordering mexico. officials say hilla florida when the investigation started.
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league and he hosted sleepovers with one of the players. orange county concerns growing after middle school student was chased by a school resource officer. we brought it last week. we are hearing from the child's mother tonight and her attorney. ty russell avoids the mom wants orange county schools to prevent their students from being taste. >> reporter: -- being taste. >> one reason to stop she tells us her son has asthma and seeking treatment every day at 11 pick this is the first time we have covered a tasting incident at an orange county school in this mom hopes this time is the last. >> am disappointed and hurt. >> reporter: the first time, april neil opened up to us in the news conference with her attorney and relatives. emotional, she tells us it was her son who apopka police say they taste and arrested last week one day at wolf lake
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14-year-old a manual griffin stood by his mom. arrest report said he disappointed -- disobeyed commands. police went on to say the officer shocked the middle school student with a taser and the fight ended. a new fight started between the family and the school district of the controversial former force used in schools. >> where demanding the school board of orange county take a stand against the tasting of students. >> family's attorney hamilton tells eyewitness news there is low-quality video of the incident painting a different picture from a police wrote in the report. she says he was defending himself and was chased after he stopped fighting. the attorney will release videos as other children can be seen in it. she says she will hand it over to law enforcement. >> we sent an email message to orange county schools but have not gotten a reply the reached out to apopka police department
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tells a she will call us back and we are waiting for the call back. in orlando, ty russell, channel 9 eyewitness news. the story is getting attention on social media now. short to share it on facebook .com/ wftv. a memorial set up tonight in orlando for 23-year-old killed this morning in a car crash. cody garrick died one woman drove into his car after passing through a red light at the intersection of john young parkway and americana boulevard. orange county sheriff's deputies tried to pull over syndia saint cyr for speeding. she led them on a chase before hitting the car. she's charged with vehicular homicide and driving with a revoked license. 215-year-old charged with leading deputies on high-speed chase. deputies say they spotted the stolen pickup at a gas station in cocoa. he says the teenagers brothers and kimbrel sped off. the chase ended in rockledge without up a helicopter in cocoa rockledge police. an arrest warrant in the works for a woman member police
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in a movie theater. and employee found the package in a women's rescue at the premier oaks theater friday night. police say they got a tip that led them to 50 3:00 dawn laughlin. >> we received a call this morning from a person that positively identified the subject in the image as don laughlin -- dawn laughlin. >> she was spotted and pulled over in pinellas county the police say items found in the car later to the incident. deputies say she will be transported back to brevard county to face charges. winter park police are hoping you can help them catch a man they say maybe behind two recent robberies. one caused a busy park to be evacuated. look at these surveillance pictures from the mcdonald's on aloma avenue near st. andrews boulevard. you can see the robbers wearing a hoodie. police say he robbed the restaurant yesterday afternoon and hit a man wearing the same outfit robbed the current
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the day before. the battle for the white house is getting ugly on the campaign trail. top contenders getting personal. hurling insults at each other, most criticism coming after endorsement for gop from runoff donald trump. >> >> is a mastic -- nasty guy. >> donald trump is a first-rate con artist. >> this is my country, my country. >> front runner donald trump taking a tax from all sides including personal insults from his rifles rubio and cruz. >> i will never stop until -- >> trump responded with tweets today repeatedly calling rubio a lightweight and also getting into trouble, re-tweeting a quote by mussolini and refusing to disavow an endorsement from kkk grand wizard david duke during an interview on cnn's state of the union. took.
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supremacists and so you're asking me a question that i'm supposed to be talking about about. >> trump apparently forgot and friday. interview. nominates someone who refuses to condemn white supremacists and the ku klux klan. >> democrats did not waste time going after trump either. america's first black president cannot and will not be succeeded by a hatemonger who refuses to condemn the kkk. >> south carolina primary winner hillary clinton meanwhile campaigned in tennessee today and also criticize trump. calling the david duke support for the gop front runner pathetic. all of this comes today's out from super tuesday. this week the medical examiner's office will try to figure out what killed a boater whose body was found this weekend. that is located the body of 76- year-old william robel in lake auclair -- lake beauclair yesterday the deputies have been leading a search for him
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100 crews skimming the lake with sauna when they detected his body. officer shot and killed 1st down the job a graduate from emory middle aeronautical university. ashley glendon and two other officers responded to a domestic incident last night in virginia. officials say ronald hamilton shot them and did as soon as they arrived. a neighbor says he heard the gunshots. >> i saw the officer laying holding his leg after getting shot. >> a prosecutor says hamilton killed his wife before they came. the other officers were in the hospital and should make full recoveries. officer glendon has been rushed to the hospital but died of injuries. she had just been sworn in the day before she died. >> amaretto lisa cilli say they are saddened to hear of her death. they also said she served in the us marine corps reserve
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we watched as a falcon 9 attempted to launch for the third time. the failure could be a major step back for future spacex launches.. the happiest place on earth now comes with a price hike. disney's new plan aimed at spreading out when families visiting spot -- theme park the (phone ringing)
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by ignoring it. but that's how some presidential candidates seem to be dealing with social security. americans work hard, and pay into it. so our next president needs a real plan to keep it strong. (elephant noise) (donkey noise) hey candidates,
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try the grilled nuggets and new superfood side
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covering brevard county >> spacex scrubbing the launch before liftoff. the rocket was had to deliver communications satellite from here to cape canaveral air force base but mike manzoni reports this was the third failed attempt within the past week. >> -- >> reporter: everything was going well until spacex says a boat drifted into restricted waters just off the coast, that delay the launch by 30 minutes until something else was wrong. >> spacex falcon 9 rocket was less than 10 seconds from hurling into space when something went wrong. just minutes later, spacex made the call to cancel launch. >> launch abort. >> reporter: this is now the third time spacex scrub the launch within the past five days. this time the problem started when they said a boat traveled
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coast, that delay the first launch attempt just before 7:00. the rocket side, launchpad for about half hour and then finally try to launch what spacex aborted the launch with just seconds to go because it says the rocket liquid oxygen temperature got to hide while they waited for the boat to pass. spacex sent eyewitness news is a bit late tonight saying the vehicle and spacecraft remained healthy and will have a new launch date after the data review. spacex is not set another latte but says it may make a fourth attempt sometime tomorrow. at the cape canaveral air force station, brevard county, mike manzoni, channel 9 eyewitness news. the countdown is underway for nasa astronaut scott kelly to head back to earth over the past two years, he has spent 520 days in space on formations. expected to do return tuesday. he will have to go through several test to see how his
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in space it he says he's most decided to share a meal with his family. disney park goers will have seasonal prizes to consider when buying tickets. cost can vary by $27 depending on the park you visit and during which time of the year. this he says because of high demand it wants to spread out visitors. the pricing changes come as a major expansions are underway we reported on. spoke "toy story", star wars, avatar. passholders not affected by price adjustments. good morning. >> is it tuesday? >> if it feels different today it is because we are awake at 12:28 and it is great day. -- it is believed day.
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degrees early start 60 deltona and temperatures slowly moving down a few more degrees by daybreak, 50 the villages deland 48 in palm coast and we have 57 melbourne and palm bay. winds are fairly light out of the south southerly wind direction a component getting us back into the upper 70s to near 80. later today, throughout the morning hours, upper 40s and where your now, 51 leesburg, 53 orlando, and that is not too far from our seasonal average which is going to be slowly warming up day by day as we head toward the spring coming up in less than three weeks now. satellite picture shows high clouds the spelling of the gulf of mexico. radar returns will not be reaching the ground. we will keep a dry with a few increasing clouds, 69 at 10:00, 76 at 2 pm. if you love the weekend, you may want to warmer, you can to the right place. monday, gorgeous day brevard
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bay, cocoa, 76, cape canaveral 77. nice to seminole county today in the sable point of longwood and winter park in orange county, 79 orlando, 77 longwood and 78 partly cloudy, 79 very close to 80. we start spring training for the braves tuesday. we have a nice start to the week for a lot of activities it later today, scared -- fair skies flirted with the coast tuesday. mostly dry. the next cold front moves into the afternoon wednesday and most moisture and energy is weak of the last few start ship and further to the north. decaying line of sprinkles is the front approaches keeping rain will chances low at about 20 percent. typical dry season here as we approach march. five-day forecast, where the weekend is always in view. on this last day of february
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tomorrow, 82 on wednesday, isolated shower, vanessa, but overall the next cold front does not have a lot of bumps -- a lot to it. chamber of commerce did we can. >> firefighters trade into orange county apartment even though they were filled with asbestos. next eyewitness news, how the demolition of the building can benefit the community. getting you ready for monday morning, marina jurica, monday eyewitness news is morning, tracking warmer weather as the southerly flow starts to bring us into the 80s. that plus the latest news on eyewitness news is morning
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students beginning the standards assessment this week. they would take a writing section of the test monday later today, education department has fixed bugs and had students take practice exams. we will stay in touch with the district across central florida let you know if there are issues. the city of orlando expected to's cell a complex for firefighters where they were exposed to asbestos. the city selling the property
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a jacksonville development plans to replace it with low income housing and agencies to help with health care, child care and career services. the eighth annual food and wine festival wrapped up in a beautiful day to be in lake eola sampling 50 domestic and international wines and food for more than 30 restaurants. hundreds enjoying food, shopping and live entertainment. >> food looks good. >> tomorrow's a big day for the brand orlando city soccer stadium. let's take a look at the construction site from sky witness 9. some of the walls taking shape. tomorrow a ceremony to commemorate the walls. or the start of the installation of the steel infrastructure. anything for a party. the stadium should be finished in time for the 2017 season. tv 27, sister station, the home of the orlando city soccer matches. it open the new season one week from today. download our free wftv news app and check out the special
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to that under sports. the magic word that it -- back in action. >> if they gave away an oscar for the sports, the magic may have one for best offfensive performance. magic facing philly the second time in six days. going to the second quarter. the spotlight on victor only depo. 77 the first half led by 26 at the break. making a run in the second half but aaron gordon decides to slam the door in the fourth. career-high 22 magic win 130- 116. -- >> everybody was on. we were knocking them down. rising up to shoot with confidence. we have to do that consistently. >> elsewhere nascar make in the second stop of the season in atlanta for jimmie johnson
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cruise to victory but ryan newman spins out with a few laps to go. we needed overtime. on the restart. kyle bush tries to make a run on the inside but the 48 holds on for the victory 76 sprint -- sprint cup victory tying him with dale earnhardt the seventh most all-time. on the classic final round palm beach county, adam scott came in time for the lead with sergio garcia. at the park for 12, from the bunkers, scott you will like the way it looks. he tapped it in for a burden to take the shoot -- two shot lead. 18, sergio, the birdie putt within one, did he hit it hard enough? yes, he did. put pressure on scott. are they making the shore part but for the 12 went onto a. orlando city opener less than one week away. we want to see you to the
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orlando city prize pack. head to the contest page at icflorida.com for details. we want to get you ready for the openers or city season special airing friday night 6:30 in tv 27.
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temperatures in the upper 50s, briefly, cool back into the 70s. >> watch eyewitness news tomorrow morning 5 am to get weather and traffic information every 10 minutes.
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and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live after the oscars"! >> how do you think it went? what did you think of j-law's dress? which white people did you go after, bro?
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>> jimmy, jimmy kimmel, what are you doing out here? >> jimmy: my mom got me this camera, i figured i'd get a few shots. >> don't you have the "after the oscars" special tonight? >> jimmy: yeah, but -- did you get a gift basket? can i get some of that nourishing lotion? yo, chris. did leta rock it tonight? chris, who are you wearing? chris! i didn't find out who you're wearing! i need to know who you're wearing! >> dicky: from hollywood -- it's " jimmy kimmel live after the oscars" ! tonight - ben affleck, tracy morgan, henry cavill, jesse isenberg, j.k. simmons, will arnett, nathan lane, matthew broderick, mike tyson, and less. plus we go live to the governors
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presented by samsung. with cleto and the cletones. and now -- lights, camera, action - here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. i was not expecting it. thank you. i'm jimmy. thanks for watching. thanks for staying up. i know it's late for a sunday night but welcome to our 11th annual after the oscars special. the statues have been handed out, the speeches have been spoken, and once again i was not invited to any of the after parties so here we are together. [ cheers and applause ] making the best of it. it was a night of controversy.
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it was a night of a lot of uncomfortable famous white people trying to make sure they clapped when the cameras were on them. as you know there were no black nominees in the acting categories. tonight's oscar hopefuls were whiter than the line to buy t-shirts at a michael bolton concert. the only way a black or hispanic or asian octoberer was going to win an oscar was if they let steve harvey announce the winner and that didn't happen. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the show went mostly as expected, there weren't a ton of surprises. the biggest surprise was learning there's actually a movie called "the 100 year old man who climbed out the window and disappeared." it was an interesting show. the sound cut out on one of the guys who won best sound design. true. i think the person -- the kid who introduced best short was short. so that was good. and the woman who won best
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like this. >> this is the second oscar and tenth nomination for jenny bevin. the first oscar in this category -- >> jimmy: she looked like sammy hagar in sturgis. i guess she doesn't take her work home with her. "spotlight" won best picture. brie larson won best actress. [ cheers and applause ] leonardo dicaprio won best actor. leo had been nominated six types. until tonight he never won but everyone kept saying, this is his year. and it was. but you know, the man has had sex with a different victoria's secret model every night of -- every year of his year. from 1991 on has been his year. and it was a special night whether you're a fan of movies, movie stars, or the ryan seacrest men's wear collection. we still have many great moments in store yore rou. ben affleck is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bad man versus
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he's batman. yesterday was ben's 4-year-old son's birthday party and guess what costume his son made him wear to entertain the kids at the party. that's right. we'll find out how that went. it's not all glamorous, this hollywood stuff. one day you're on the red carpet, next day 15 preschoolers are beating you with pinata sticks. right now the stars are heading to the governors ball, the post-oscars party across the street. our man guillermo is there standing by live via our big cisco screen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll get go to him now, guillermo, what's it like, are there any big stars around? >>. >> yes, there's a lot of the big stars around here. beautiful women too. >> jimmy: why don't you have any of them? >> oh. they at the bar right now. >> jimmy: they're at the bar, all right. see who you can russell up for us and we'll check back in later. how many drinks have you had? >> about 40 shots of tequila. >> jimmy: okay, great. perfect. so he's ready to go. that's actually less than he
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thank you, guillermo. we'll check back in with you later at the governors ball. one of the most critically acclaimed movies of the year this year that was not nominated for best picture was "cred," the story of rocky balboa training the son of one of his greatals. stallone was nominated for an oscar. it would not be a movie without a sequel. the world premiere trailer for the much-anticipated followup to "creed." >> i will have a choice. this is my one shot. i was born to do this. can't nobody stop me! >> you got no business being here. >> the other fighters are fighting for their lives. look at you. eating a hero sandwich.
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>> get the hell out of my gym! >> look at this. your first fight with clubber. you got caught with a right uppercut. you're sounding like a dolphin with an itchy blow hole. hee hee! hee hee! hee hee! hee hee! hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! >> how do you know so much about that fight? >> that was my pops. >> junior. >> that's what marty povis told us. i need you to train me. >> train you to do what? >> what do you think i'm talking about, fool, to fight. >> you don't look like a fighter. >> i been fighting my whole life. the people who said i couldn't fight -- >> ha ha ha! >> fighting my demons. >> hey, baby. >> fighting that lady in the wendy's drive-through because she wouldn't give me extra dipping sauce. >> quheerls my dipping sauce?
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honey mustard! aahhh! >> i'll teach you to fight, kid. let's get some shorts on you because we got work to do. come on. >> all i asked for was extra honey bus mustard. >> come on! come on now! >> oohh! >> one. >> come on, chicken, come over here! >> boxing isn't just about strength and conditioning. it's about heart. brains. >> and fowls and wings! >> over, under, round and through. meet mr. bunny pull it through. you're not focusing. you've got to focus. beat that meat like you mean it! harder! harder!
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give it to him! what the hell are you doing? whoa, whoa, whoa! hey, hey, no! no! no! got it? you've got it. you've got it! [ cheers and applause ] >> it's the fight nobody thought would happen. >> this is a fight nobody thought should happen. this is a disgrace to the sport of boxing. but i can't wait to see it. >> this is our last round, you need this one. >> i keep thinking it's gum. >> focus, kid, you need your edge out there! >> rrrow! hey, get me some. honey mustard, you remembered! >> that's right. now go get him. >> that was clubber. >> i know, i know.
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love you so much. i got hair in my teeth. go get him! >> pop? >> quit your jibber jabber, fool! >> how am i doing? >> good. yeah. there will be a sequel. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have to take a break but it will be worth it, stay there. we have many stars and many surprises on the way. it's our biggest show of the year. our 11th annual " after the oscars" special - we'll be right [ cheers and applause ] with my phone? why can't my battery last
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scary woods? ugh. eh, probably fine though. [lightning strike] why can't my phone have enough memory to hold all a hundred and forty-five of my movies, like that one with the action and the martial arts. you seen that one? why can't my phone take high quality low light photos instead of this big, expensive camera? [police siren] why don't you come down from there sir? you got it! why doesn't my phone work after i pour this expensive champagne all over it? how am i 'sposed to show people how rich and carefree i am? why did i have to wait so long in this commercial to do a celebrity sports person cameo? [scoreboard buzzer] why don't i ever get asked to be the spokesperson in the commercial? ha, ha. good question. introducing the only water-resistant, fast, wireless-charging, best camera having, memory expandable, pay almost anywhere, samsung galaxy s7 edge. vr experience ended. man, i would have made a great spokesperson. [sigh]
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hi, i'd like to make a dep-- scanner: rescan item. rescan, rescan. rescan item. vo: it happens so often you almost get used to it. phone voice: main menu representative. representative. representative. vo: which is why being put first... relax, we got this. vo: ...takes some getting used to. join the nation. nationwide is on your side representative. so my kids don't have to forage,
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and i've also got a brain. life's short, talk is cheap. i'll be working while you sleep. still don't think i've got a brain? you think a resume's enough? who'll step up when things get tough? don't you want that kind of brain? a degree is a degree. you're gonna want someone like me.
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>> jimmy: hello and welcome back to our 11th annual " after the oscars" special. batman is on the way. first let's check in with guillermo on the wall of america at the governors ball happening across -- look at this, guillermo, you did it! i asked you to get us a big star, you got us a big star, sacha baron cohen, hello! [ cheers and applause ] >> hello, america. >> jimmy: hey, you had a pretty quick costume change there, i guess. >> i don't know what you're talking about that wasn't me. >> jimmy: oh, that's right. i forgot. >> the academy would never let somebody like ali g. come out. i went to the toilet, it was done. >> jimmy: is it true that sacha -- you were supposed to
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up filling in as a surprise? >> that is true. that is true. i was very displayed because i was getting ready -- nature called. i went into the bathroom. next thing i knew, i had been usurped by ali g. and made a fool of. >> jimmy: ali g. presented by olivia, did she know ali g. was coming out instead of you -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm real sorry. >> i'm not aware. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sacha, i apologize, there's some idiots in the back. >> yeah, there's a lot of complete pardon my french [ bleep ] walking around. >> jimmy: yeah, there are people jumping around in the back like -- >> they're just trying to get famous. a lot of people are here upset they didn't win tonight. >> jimmy: you know, this is really a shame that we put so
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ruin it like that. >> bad losers. >> jimmy: well, you know -- sacha, you have a movie "the brothers grimsby" coming out. >> that's right, that's right. march 11th. >> jimmy: and again, i apologize for what's going on here, very unprofessional. guillermo, you're the one that should be watching for what's going on. get the guy behind you out of the shot! >> who is -- >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> dim wit. >> jimmy: i'm so sorry. >> stay away, please. >> jimmy: there's no excuse for that. i apologize again. some people are just gross. but thank you very much. >> yeah. >> jimmy: sacha baron cohen! [ cheers and applause ] >> stay away. >> jimmy: thank you so much, guillermo. >> stay away next year. >> jimmy: thank you. keep rounding people up, will you, guillermo? no -- >> hey, jimmy -- >> jimmy: thank you very much. much. [ cheers and applause ]
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that's all. so back to the movies. this is the reason why we're watching television tonight. is on car night is a night to celebrate great films. if you're at all familiar with the movie "the producers" you know it is one of the best comedies ever. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the producers" is a classic, won an oscar for mel brooks, record-breaking 12 tony awards when mel made it into a broadway musical starring nathan lane and matthew broderick. it's been almost 15 years. now they're back with a diabolical new scheme to unleash their most spectacular disaster yet. >> they were a pair of political consultants on needed a break. >> that's it! we're finished, through, kaput! >> don't say that, max. >> let's face it, bloom, we haven't had a winning campaign in years. >> max, do you realize under the right circumstances it might be possible to make more money from a losing candidate than from a winner? >> what did you say? >> first we find a bad
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like crazy and promise all the donors ambassadorships to italy or sweden or armenia. then when the public figures out what a nut case our guy is he drops out of the race -- >> and we keep all the dough! oh, darling bloom, glorious bloom! you bloody genius you! >> max, don't. >> but wait, wait. this candidate. he's got to be the worst candidate in history. a real train wreck. schmuck, putt z, gold-plated nincompoop. where would we find a buffoon like that? >> and now a message from the board room. >> people have been asking about my desk and the fact that i have so many papers on my desk. it's actually very neat. but if you look around, i mean, there's a lot of stuff. i've noticed over the years -- people have a lot going on on their desk. >> hand me the phone! the phone! >> my desk is a very important
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>> yes, yes, yes. hello, hello, operator? >> -- that's a good thing -- >> get me the board room. you know which one. innocence thens they had a foolproof plan. >> there's a new horse in the race for the white house. his name, donald j. trump. can he beat the establishment? who will support him? fiscal conservatives? the religious right? or crazy old semi-racist white people? >> they're sure he can win? >> oh, mrs. comisky, donald trump is the very definition of a winner. >> just read the pin. >> oh. >> bless you, mrs. comisky, bless you. thank you. thank you. yes. i keep the checkie, thank you. thank you, mrs. comisky. yes, good-bye, mrs. comisky. here we go. that's a girl. oh, oh!
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we're going right out the door. all right, easy now. easy, we don't have time for that. easy. all right. don't worry, it's only six flights. bye! >> bye. >> thank god for citizens united. >> 22 ambassadors to france so far. >> and 25 million bucks, bloom. i have to tell you, running trump was smart. but your idea about building a wall across the mexican border? brilliant. >> not as brilliant as your idea about making the mexicans pay for it. >> he won't last the week! >> oh, look, max, this is it. >> i will build a great, great wall on our southern border and i will have mexico pay for that wall. mark my words. we're in the money we're in the money >> announcer: but they pick the wrong fool. >> good news for donald trump. the whole world has gone stark raving mad for him like these
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skulls, even in whack a doodle. >> you ready for someone who will let our warriors do their job and go kick isis' ass? >> he's still in the lead, max. >> how could this happen? >> well, i hear he's a proven businessman who knows how to get things done. >> yeah, he'll stand up to the mexicans. >> i can't believe this it's not possible. >> where did we go right? >> i don't know. >> wait a minute. wait a minute -- did he question john mccain's war heroism? >> yes. >> did he say we should kick out 11 million immigrants? >> yes. >> did he propose banning all 1 billion muslims from entering the u.s.? >> si! >> did he say heidi klum was no longer a 10? >> yes, yes! >> nothing is working, max, nothing. >> oh, no! no! >> announcer: just in time for the election, it's a story that
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really, really depressing. [ cheers and applause ] we needed a chump to put on the stump a frumpy grumpy named donald j. trump he's building a wall a thousand feet tall don't worry cause the mexicans will pay for it all >> announcer: from the producers of "the producers" comes a movie that will make america great again. nathan lane, matthew broderick, and cloris leachman star in -- you've been trumped >> maybe he won't be such a bad president. >> bing bing bong bong bing bing bong bong. >> whoa, what have we done? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a lot to come including we have tonight on the show never before seen footage

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