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>> announcer: the following is a paid presentation for p90x3 brought to you by beachbody. [ bell tolls ] [ clock ticking ] [ dramatic music plays ] >> announcer: do you wonder what it would be like to be in amazing shape? [ pulsing ] do you look in the mirror and wish you had a six-pack? don't you want a body that can perform like this and look like this at least once in your life? [ air rushing ] well, now, you can get that body... faster than ever before. you don't need a gym membership or fancy equipment, and you don't need a lot of time. you start by doing what these people did -- you set a fitness goal with a deadline -- 90 days
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to get in the best shape of your life. and that deadline comes with this plan -- the all-new and shockingly effective 30 minute workouts of p90x3. this is accelerated fitness. >> [ breathes sharply ] >> quicker! >> [ grunts ] >> faster! [ dramatic music plays ] >> the days of working out for hours on end are over. >> it's just crazy -- what you can do in 30 minutes a day. >> don't tell me 30 minutes doesn't get done. what matters is the sequence. what matters is the pace. pick up the speed! what matters is the intensity. come on! one, two, three, four! that's what matters. >> look at me -- a mother of five. i never had any time, but i did have a half an hour. >> you are doing in 30 minutes what -- at the gym, it would take you an hour hour and a half to do. >> a p90x3 workout is only 30 minutes. [ beeps ] but that doesn't mean an x3 workout is half a workout.
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it's a whole workout in half the time. big difference. we're talking concentrated intensity here, folks. you don't get off easy. you just finish faster. [ beeps ] that's p90x3. [ beeps ] [ air rushing ] [ pulsing ] [ slow music plays ] >> announcer: it may seem crazy to you that 30 minute workouts can create extreme changes like these over the course of 90 days. but the latest scientific findings prove that the majority of benefits from a workout occur within the first 30 minutes. and after that, your body actually becomes less and less responsive to exercise. so, to reach your fitness goal in 90 days, you don't need to work out for an hour or more. you can take your results through the roof by following a proven plan, designed to get the most out of those first 30 minutes. p90x3 is that proven plan. the plan goes like this -- you work out at home, not the gym, because gym owners hate deadlines. think about what it would look like if everyone got ripped in
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90 days. [ crickets chirping ] you only work out for 30 minutes a day, 6 days a week, for 90 days. but you spend those 30 minutes giving it everything you've got -- building muscle, burning fat, challenging yourself to try new things, pushing past your boundaries, and hammering your core, because, this time, you're going to get that six-pack. and you're going to get it faster, because p90x3 pushes your body to change faster. here's how. people who join a gym often see physical changes in their first three weeks, but those changes gradually stop coming, no matter how hard they push through their routine. gym rats call this the plateau effect. p90x3 busts through those plateaus by using a system called "muscle acceleration," which changes routines every few weeks, before your body can adapt, using a potent blend of muscle building techniques cardio routines, core stability training, martial arts, and more that keeps your body guessing
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for the full 90 days, so that not only does your hard work turn into hard muscle every workout is only 30 minutes. >> you think, "30 minutes? can i do what i really want to do?" and to be honest with you, the -- the results blew my mind. it really comes down to their muscle acceleration program. your body's never given a chance to adapt to the program because it's changing it up all the time. throughout the whole 90 days you know, you're never gonna hit those plateaus. i've worked out at gyms, and i got into decent shape. but, again, with -- with x3, 30 minutes -- you know, i went from an average guy to body-builder-style ripped. i was 179 pounds, and i got down to 164 pounds. it's just crazy -- what you can do in 30 minutes a day. i mean, it's just like -- you know, you -- you got to bring it, but it's awesome. you guys want to see the reason why i get results like this, why i get this sweaty? you want to know the real secret?
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tony's watching me. >> announcer: this is tony horton, one of the nation's most passionate advocates for health and wellness. >> four... >> announcer: his unique approach to body transformation has revolutionized home fitness, making him one of the most successful and sought-after trainers in the world. >> people can do 30 minutes. we took the breaks out. i don't talk as much. whoo! [ laughs ] but we understand that there's all these folks out there who are trying to be better, who are trying to be fitter, who are trying to be happier, who are trying to lose the weight, and they just haven't found a method yet. p90x3 is gonna get them there. >> announcer: getting there doesn't mean getting in the car -- it means working out in the most convenient gym in the neighborhood -- your living room. >> people ask me how often i'm going to the gym. and i can just tell them "30 minutes in my living room -- p90x3." i never thought that 30 minutes a day would get me to where i am now. >> we've learned, in the last 10 years, you can make it happen in 30 minutes, and that's what
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we're doing here. and i think it's pretty obvious by the sweat on your faces. >> you are constantly switching things up. there's cross-training. there's pilates, agility weight training, and i was never bored. >> and it's all over in five four -- hang in there -- three two, and time. boom! >> for me, and probably for a lot of women, we have this -- this muffin top that wants to happen. we gain 5 pounds, and it all seems to be right here. and the one thing about x3 is that it attacks that area. every single time i pushed "play," i felt like my stomach was getting smaller and smaller and smaller. look. can you see? i have lost almost 25 pounds 18 inches all over. i can't believe that my stomach looks the way that it does. it just takes 30 minutes -- just 30 minutes for 90 days. >> announcer: once you decide to do p90x3 and then commit to the intensity, you will succeed.
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and we know this because, in multiple 90-day test groups, p90x3 users, on average, lost over 20 pounds and an incredible 35% of their body fat, all from just 30-minute workouts. >> so many people in this test group had such amazing results. we had, you know, a 95% success rate with p90x3. >> announcer: this is kevin, a graduating member of one of the p90x3 test groups. >> every day of x3, when i walked into the room, my goal was to give 3,000%. it's all about the intensity which is easier to do in a shorter period of time. 30 minutes. tony horton is a guru of knowledge and motivation. >> 30 minutes, done properly, in the right sequences, the right way, at the right speed gets it done. would you agree with that? >> all: yeah! >> being a kid, being 260 pounds, i was made fun of all the time. i couldn't play the games i
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wanted to. x3 is what made me get to that dream that i've always had as a kid. i weighed 207 pounds. >> 207. and what do you weigh now? >> i weigh 175. >> 175. >> that's 32 pounds. >> 32 pounds from working out a half an hour a day? so, how's all that make you feel right now, standing here? are you getting teared up right now? >> no, man. no, no, no, no, no. >> what is that in there? your eyes are all moist and stuff. >> get back in there. >> ha! [ pulsing ] [ mid-tempo music plays ] >> announcer: get stronger than ever. get sexier than ever. and get ripped faster than ever before if you call right now and get p90x3, the brand-new 30 minute extreme fitness boot camp, featuring more variety than any other fitness program from weightlifting to cardio plyometrics, pilates, martial arts, yoga, agility training and more, all designed to keep
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your body accelerating towards one goal -- to get in the best shape of your life in just 30 minutes a day. call now and also get the p90x3 fitness guide, a quick and easy nutrition plan, tony's trainer tips, the accelerator progress calendar, 24-7 online fitness support, and we'll include a pro-grade resistance band free when you call during this show. so you'll have everything you need to get started right away. get all of this for only three payments of $39.95, and we'll even upgrade your order to express delivery. [ tires screech, horn honks ] this is your chance to make the biggest change to your fitness in the shortest amount of time guaranteed or your money back, with no questions asked. call now. [ music continues ] >> hi. i'm jason. and this has been my gym for the
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last 90 days. about 13 years ago, i got a scholarship for college to wrestle and run track... [ crowd cheering ] ...and run decathlon and the 400 hurdles. [ men grunting ] i played rugby. i did jiujitsu. i did mma. you know, i worked out 4 to 6 hours a day to stay in great shape, to compete. but it took a toll on me. i was just burnt out, so i stopped. i felt out of shape, and i was lazy and just felt blah, really. i saw that tony horton came out with a new p90x3 program. and i was like, "what?" so, i watched it, and i saw it was only 30 minutes a day. i was like..."done." you're lifting weights. you're doing cardio. i mean, you're doing everything. i mean, i'm an athlete, and those are all the things that it takes to be an athlete. you have to lift weights. you have to do cardio. you have to stretch. you have to take care of your body. and p90x3 has it all. >> form, function, and
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precision -- this is how athletes move. >> put it in. you start working out, even if you're tired. and the next thing you know, it's halfway over. and it's go, go, go. and that's the kind of program that i really like. i like to get after it. >> pick up the speed. we got 15 seconds. >> my goals, when i started p90x3 -- i wanted to lose like 10 pounds, you know? and i lost 30 pounds in 90 days. i was just amazed at what happened in 30 minutes of exercise, eating right. the best reaction i've had was from my father-in-law. he said, "hi, jason. how are you? where's the rest of you?" [ chuckles ] so i was like, "oh, i left myself back home in my basement." i decided. i committed. i succeeded with p90x3. [ pulsing ] >> you figure, the more time you work out in one session, the more results you're going to get. turns out it doesn't work that way. this is how your body responds to prolonged exercise. you see, it's in that first
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30 minutes that almost all of your fitness gains occur. but that sweet spot won't do you any good unless you've got a program that takes full advantage of that 30 minute window of change. that's where x3 kicks in. [ beeps ] [ clock ticking ] 3...2...1... bam! and you're done! >> you do not need to work out for an hour. it's not necessary. you don't need to put yourself through that struggle. before i started p90x3, i did think you needed about an hour to work out. >> come on, victor! that's the way to work. you don't think we're getting it done in 30 minutes? are you kidding me?! this is real. this is this. how much fun you having right now? >> [ laughs ] >> in the first 30 minutes of your workout, that's when your body is able to change the most. after that, your body just starts working less efficiently. so, as long as your workout is intense and you're giving 100% for 30 minutes, there's no need to work out for an hour. you don't have to go to the gym. you need very minimal equipment,
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and you can do it in your house. you can do it in a hotel room. you have no excuses. in 90 days of p90x3, i lost 27 pounds. i didn't know it was possible to get such great results in 30 minutes a day. but i would have never imagined that, in 3 months, i would lose almost 30 pounds. that's pretty crazy. >> now show us your abs. [ laughter ] [ pulsing ] >> because of how fast these workouts are, we've designed all of the moves to hit more than just one muscle group, whether you're lifting, jumping, or striking. but the one area that gets worked the most is right here. every x3 routine is an ab routine. six-packs are what we build here. show america your abs, 'cause we -- we might have... you should see the "before" picture -- didn't look like that. >> you don't see the results when you go to the gym honestly. in the gym, i would wait for a machine or see what someone else was doing and walk around. i would spend two uneventful
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hours. >> don't tell me you got to spend an hour and a half in the gym, moving weights around. look at the pump that we got. >> one thing i found out, by being in this test group, is you don't need time. with 30 minutes a day, i started seeing results, really, in two weeks. i've lost 20 pounds in 90 days. i knew where it came from. [ laughs ] >> this is what happens when you show up. this is what happens when you don't quit. this is what happens when you make the best of your 30 minutes. boom! >> announcer: if you've been at your gym for more than 90 days and you don't have results like these, you're in the wrong gym. you need this one. it's called "p90x3," a brand-new 30 minute extreme fitness boot camp that features almost every exercise class you could find at your old gym, from weight training to jump training, martial arts, cardio, yoga pilates, and more. and every workout, start to finish, is only 30 minutes. the muscle acceleration system
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in p90x3 is designed to constantly introduce new moves and routines, keeping you engaged with more variety and intensity than any other workout, so that your body quickly sheds fat and builds lean muscle at an accelerated rate. and the results are extreme. all you need is 6 square feet of space, a set of dumbbells, and a pull-up bar. or to make things even easier, you can do the whole program with a pro-grade variable resistance band, and that's it. then, just spend 30 minutes a day with 16 of the most transforming workouts ever created. there are six muscle-building resistance routines, including eccentric, synergistic, and classic weightlifting... three cross-training power workouts for explosive athletic performance, featuring plyometrics, agility training, and more... three fat-scorching cardio routines, including martial arts, speed drills, and weighted cardio... two advanced flexibility workouts, featuring dynamix stretching and extreme yoga. plus, two special ab-ripping
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core routines that rewrites the book on how to get flat, defined six-pack abs. if you're willing to work out hard for 30 minutes, these 16 workouts are guaranteed to get you ripped. they also come with 6 free bonus gifts -- the p90x3 nutrition guide, which makes it simple to know what to eat, when to eat it, and what to avoid, so you get fitter even faster... the p90x3 fitness guide, where every move is laid out in specific detail, so even if you don't have the dvds, you still have the program... the p90x3 accelerator calendar so you can chart each half-hour routine and stay right on track for the full 90 days... and you'll have tony right there with you with 24-7 online fitness and nutrition support, live chats, and the entire p90x3 community. this $180 value is yours free. just think -- you'd pay for only one week of personal training with tony. but with this full 90-day body-transformation system you're done in 30 minutes a day, and you won't pay $1,000... not $500...
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or even $200. call in the next 18 minutes, and you'll get the entire accelerated p90x3 training system for only 3 payments of $39.95. and we're not done! you'll also get tony's special "how to accelerate" training tips program, giving you techniques and insight tony has learned from decades of training, so you have all the answers before you even have the questions. and when you call during this show, we'll also include a pro-grade resistance band and door attachment free with your order, so you can do the entire program without any extra equipment -- it'll all be there, a complete gym right in the box! want to get bragging rights? only x3 graduates get to wear this "crushed it!" t-shirt. but if you send us your result photos, we'll send you this exclusive t-shirt free of charge. you crushed it! and to make this a complete no-brainer, we'll even triple our money-back guarantee, from 30 days to the full 90 days. that means you can do the entire program, and if it doesn't live up to the hype, return it and
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get your money back. and right now is the best time to call, because we'll even upgrade your order to express delivery. [ horn honks ] that's a $15 value, free, so you won't have to wait 2 to 3 weeks to get x3. you'll have it in 2 to 5 business days. and if you're interested in athletic performance, ask your operator about p90x3's elite fitness training block featuring workouts specifically designed for professional athletes. your new body is waiting inside this program. operators are standing by. [ beeping ] [ dramatic music plays ] [ crickets chirping ] 4 our of every 5 gym memberships go unused. the main reason people stop going to the gym is because they stop seeing results. it makes sense. if you're using the same machines and doing the same routine, your body will adapt and you will experience the
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plateau effect. the muscle acceleration system in p90x3 hits your muscles with a complex system of moves and techniques so that your body is forced to keep changing throughout the entire 90 days. and because we've packed it all into 30 minutes, staying committed to a 90-day deadline is that much easier. >> when a workout's shorter, mentally, that's gonna push you. >> let's go, boys. you got three minutes left. come on. come on. come on. >> whoo! >> there was a ton of variety. i mean, there's yoga, pilates, kickboxing, strength, total-body workout, cardio, strength and cardio in one workout, and it keeps your body guessing because your body's like, "what is going on? there's so much!" usually, you're going to the gym, and you're going to the elliptical or the treadmill, and you're sitting there, pumping it out. and your body gets used to that. it's the same motion over and over again. or, you know, you're lifting and you're doing the same routine. and there's no change because your body mastered it. well, p90x3 takes it to a whole new level, where it keeps
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throwing things at your body and your body keeps adapting and that's how you see results climb, and that's how you get results, really. this program isn't just a workout program -- it's a nutrition guide, as well, and talks all about nutrition. there's no counting calories or carbs. it's just counting portion sizes, based on the size of your hand. like, it's kind of crazy. and to think that that would work -- it actually did. i got shredded in 90 days. i lost 10 pounds, but gained muscles. i gained muscle and lost body fat -- same time. and that's very hard to do. i achieved a physique that i never thought i would reach. and to do that in only 30 minutes a day was absolutely insane. [ pulsing ] >> i couldn't work out for more than 5 minutes at a time. i was so out of shape. and i was really upset at myself, but i just remember telling myself, "if i push
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like, every single day, i can do it, and i will lose this weight." being in a gym made me feel self-conscious because i always felt like people were looking at me and like, "oh. she's not doing that right," or, "oh, why is she working out?" being at home makes me feel comfortable. i can try new things and know that nobody is judging me. >> if this speed and pace is too fast for you, then slow it down. do your own. >> every single day, it got so much easier. i was lifting weights. i was using my own body weight. i was doing yoga. i was doing pilates. i was doing everything, and in 30 minutes, i got it done. >> why not work the whole body? that's what p90x3 is about. you start from the top of your head to your toenails. my toenails are so fit right now... >> [ laughs ] >> ...it is crazy. there are muscles on my toenails. >> i lost 32 pounds, and i lost 20 inches all over. so i just shrunk everywhere, and the fat just melted off of me. everybody should try p90x3. it works.
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i'm not being paid to say this. i -- >> [ laughs ] >> [ laughs ] i didn't think it was gonna work for me, but if you stick to the plan, you will lose the weight and you will be happy. >> the "x" in "p90x3" stands for "extreme" -- not extreme commitment, but extreme results. that means you can turn around years of neglect and lose up to 60 pounds or more in just 90 days because x3 is so efficient at keeping your body challenged. [ beeping ] this is ed, one of the heaviest members of the p90x3 test groups. >> 240. >> 240. oh, my god. i always knew in the back of my head that, like, "oh, i should really make a big change in my life. i should really do something." >> that way. now go back. >> 30-minute workouts -- they really work for me because, in my head, it's not such a big task. and once you do it, you realize, "oh, wow, 10 minutes are left," just like that. and as you're going through it it just goes by so quick. in these 30 minutes, it's so intense that i definitely feel like i'm getting a better workout.
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it's crazy -- exercise after exercise after exercise. here's your break -- 30 seconds, then right back at it. so you're just fitting so much more into those 30 minutes. i have lost almost 43 pounds 23 inches off of my body 9 inches off my waist. [ laughs ] oh, i even have six abs peeking through, so it's kind of nice. yes, i'm gonna do another -- another round of p90x3. so, i am here to look at my final photos after two rounds of x3. take a look? oh, gosh. [ laughs ] good gosh. x3 experience has been just transformational, inside and out, just having gone from, you know, as being this fat, kind of out-of-shape guy to being the guy who always wants to do, you know, an extra mile on a hike. this is all due to x3. >> announcer: 20- and 30-year-olds call this "shredding." 40- and 50-year-olds call it "turning back the clock."
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across the country, people are looking for a physique they never thought possible. and with p90x3's 30-minute workouts, they're finding it staring right back at them from the mirror -- young, young at heart, even those folks who didn't think they'd ever look good in a birthday suit again. >> you know, a lot of people have been left behind. a lot of folks have been left at the bottom of the mountain, and they just assume that that's what their body is supposed to look like. they assume that they're gonna be overweight. they assume, "because my parents look that way, i'm supposed to look that way." but the program is set up so it's doable. it's doable. a half an hour -- doable. and so all these folks who have struggled in the past, not gotten the results they wanted thought that they had these body types that weren't gonna change -- those beliefs shattered. [ thud echoes ] with p90x3, they're not at the bottom of the mountain -- they're up here with me. >> announcer: getting into the best shape of your life is no longer a dream. there's a clear path ahead that will get you there faster than any other fitness program, and it all starts at this moment. [ beeps ] you decide to do p90x3, you
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commit to the 30-minute workouts, and in 90 days, we guarantee you'll succeed, or your money back. all you need is 6 square feet of space, a set of dumbbells, and a pull-up bar. or to make things even easier, you can do the whole program with a pro-grade variable resistance band, and that's it. then, just spend 30 minutes a day with 16 of the most transforming workouts ever created. there are six muscle-building resistance routines, including eccentric, synergistic, and classic weightlifting... three cross-training power workouts for explosive athletic performance, featuring plyometrics, agility training, and more... three fat-scorching cardio routines, including martial arts, speed drills, and weighted cardio... two advanced flexibility workouts, featuring dynamix stretching and extreme yoga. plus, two special ab-ripping core routines that rewrites the book on how to get flat, defined six-pack abs. if you're willing to work out hard for 30 minutes, these
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16 workouts are guaranteed to get you ripped. they also come with 6 free bonus gifts -- the p90x3 nutrition guide, which makes it simple to know what to eat, when to eat it, and what to avoid, so you get fitter even faster... the p90x3 fitness guide, where every move is laid out in specific detail, so even if you don't have the dvds, you still have the program... the p90x3 accelerator calendar so you can chart each half-hour routine and stay right on track for the full 90 days... and you'll have tony right there with you with 24-7 online fitness and nutrition support, live chats, and the entire p90x3 community. this $180 value is yours free. just think -- you'd pay $1,000 for only one week of personal training with tony. but with this full 90-day body-transformation system you're done in 30 minutes a day, and you won't pay $1,000... not $500... or even $200. call in the next 3 minutes, and you'll get the entire accelerated p90x3 training
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system for only 3 payments of $39.95. and we're not done! you'll also get tony's special "how to accelerate" training tips program, giving you techniques and insight tony has learned from decades of training, so you have all the answers before you even have the questions. and when you call during this show, we'll also include a pro-grade resistance band and door attachment free with your order, so you can do the entire program without any extra equipment -- it'll all be there, a complete gym right in the box! want to get bragging rights? only x3 graduates get to wear this "crushed it!" t-shirt. but if you send us your result photos, we'll send you this exclusive t-shirt free of charge. you crushed it! and to make this a complete no-brainer, we'll even triple our money-back guarantee, from 30 days to the full 90 days. that means you can do the entire program, and if it doesn't live up to the hype, return it and get your money back. and right now is the best time to call, because we'll even upgrade your order to express
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delivery. [ horn honks ] that's a $15 value, free, so you won't have to wait 2 to 3 weeks to get x3. you'll have it in 2 to 5 business days. and if you're interested in athletic performance, ask your operator about p90x3's elite fitness training block featuring workouts specifically designed for professional athletes. your new body is waiting inside this program. operators are standing by. [ beeping ] [ dramatic music plays ] the preceding was a paid presentation for p90x3, brought to you by beachbody.
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>> announcer: the following is a paid presentation for "rowan & martin's laugh-in" brought to you by george schlatter productions introducing "the laugh-in producer's collectors edition." set your time machine for 1968. it was the age of aquarius... vietnam... sit-ins... love-ins... and america's favorite... >> "rowan & martin's..." >> "...laugh-in!" >> announcer: from 1968 to 1973, monday nights at 8:00 p.m. were where it's at, man. and everyone -- young and old, and hip or square -- tuned in to watch the comedy show that dared to step out of the box. >> i got a surprise for you. >> announcer: now 45 years after the first broadcast,
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"laugh-in's" maverick producer george schlatter has assembled the ultimate "laugh-in collectors series." >> [ laughs ] >> announcer: if you want to laugh yourself silly, get set to rewind through time. >> sock it to me, honey! >> sock it to me! >> sock it to me! >> if they sock it to her once more, i'll scream. >> announcer: "laugh-in" -- the hip, zany, sexy, irreverent comic phenomenon with more jokes in a minute than there are seconds. [ rim shot ] and did we mention it was sexy? >> hit it, maestro! >> announcer: get set to laugh your pants off, because in the next half hour, you'll hear the true, wild story of "rowan & martin's laugh-in" from the show's maverick producer and creator george schlatter. >> judy sometimes forgot to wear her underwear, and that would cause great, great commotion in the joke wall. so things went better when we put judy on the floor. >> you know what?
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the trouble with getting the asian flu is that an hour later, you're well again. >> announcer: and of course, you'll revisit all your "laugh-in" favorites, like lily tomlin and goldie hawn -- part of a cast so endearingly funny, they kept us laughing while they captured our hearts. >> [ laughs ] >> poo-poo. >> and that's the truth. >> announcer: winner of four emmy awards, it was the highest-rated ensemble comedy show in history. "laugh-in" was so in, every star in hollywood wanted a guest spot. >> hello, i'm peter sellers. >> veery eenteresting. >> would you believe sony and cher? >> announcer: you never knew who would show up next. >> how's that grab you, dimple lovers? >> announcer: and sometimes, the surprise guest seemed surprised himself. >> "sock it to me? sock it -- what do you mean 'sock it to me'?" >> announcer: for one hour each week, "laugh-in" brought us together. and now it's doing it again. introducing the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition." >> sock it to yourself. >> announcer: the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition" is a digitally remastered
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collection of the producer's favorite moments and is not available anywhere but right here. >> you're putting me on. >> announcer: no, we're turning you on, whether you want to re-live the wild times and fond memories or discover for the first time the show that inspired a new generation of television -- from "saturday night live" to mtv... >> that's easy for you to say, honey. >> announcer: stay tuned for details on how you can own this collectible comedy treasure, along with many other "laugh-in" extras, and see how you can be watching it tonight. it's all coming up on ""rowan & martin's laugh-in" and the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition." >> from its sumptuous studio towering almost three feet above sea level in beautiful downtown burbank, nbc opens a window and airs "rowan & martin's laugh-in!" >> and now, folks, here they are, the stars of "laugh-in" -- two of the nicest guys i've ever had the pleasure of working with -- dan rowan and the beautiful...dick martin -- i can't read it on air 'cause it's not true. i don't even know who they are. >> roman and the -- what?
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roman and mountie. rowan and martin. >> dan rowan and dick doo-doo. >> rowan & martin were one of the funniest nightclub acts that ever existed, and that act was gold. anybody who ever saw rowan & martin on the stage would remember it as one of the funniest experiences they'd ever had. >> i wonder if you'd mind if i left a little early tonight. >> well, certainly i'd mind. >> well, a friend of mine is laid up, and i promised to stop by -- that's all. >> oh, really? what's the matter with him? >> him? >> i don't want to hear about it. >> i'm supposed to change the bandages. >> oh, it sounds serious. >> [chuckles] yeah, she got a chest cold. >> i never heard of anybody bandaging a chest cold. >> neither did she. [laughs] it's billy barty for you. >> every pressure on "laugh-in" was to take it into the area that was normal. that's what they were used to. and, so, we deliberately set out to break every rule we could break, and that's what made the show. >> jugs. melons.
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>> we put sick censors in the home. >> nuts. >> oui, oui. >> i prefer dick. >> who's dick? >> big dick here. >> [ laughing ] that's a no-no but it's funny. >> tonight's program will be shown to our fighting forces in the nbc legal department. >> i'd like to see if you can interest me in an old car. >> well, step right in. i'll do my best. >> aha! [ laughs ] are you sure this isn't naughty? [ both laugh ] >> hi! hi, kids. [ sing-song voice ] this is your uncle al, the kiddie's pal. hello, little friends, hello! [ normal voice ] well, kids... oh, uncle al had a lot of medicine last night. >> announcer: the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition"
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delivers all your best-loved memories from the show that broke all the rules and kept us laughing so we forgot our troubles. all the wacky cast members you loved then, now you can see them again -- like lily tomlin in classics like the phone company's cheeky operator ernestine. >> one ring-a-ding-ding. two ring-a-ding-ding. oh, gracious, good afternoon. is this the sinatra residence? i'm calling mr. sinatra about an unpaid bill, and i was wondering what you're going to dooby-dooby-doo about it. >> "i couldn't come up with a poem this week" by henry gibson. >> do you believe in the hereafter? >> of course, i do. >> [chuckles] then you know what i'm here after. >> [ gasps ] >> operator, give me los angeles, crestview, 51193.
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>> you'll have to speak up miss. >> okay. los angeles -- i want los angeles. >> my name is edith ann, and i don't have to say nothing if i don't want because i'm gonna have a baby. you know how you could get a baby? first, you could get real fat. then you could eat a lot of pickles. then your daddy puts a lot of clothes in the car and gets real nervous and can't find the keys. and then the policeman gives you a ticket. and you take the ticket to the hospital. and they give you a little baby boy. and that's the truth. >> you know, i hired this fantastic housekeeper. she cooks, she cleans. hey... she's here now. >> i often wish i'd had a camera around behind that joke wall. what went on behind the joke wall was as funny as anything on stage.
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>> i knew -- i knew -- i knew -- i knew a really -- >> ooh! ooh! ooh! >> ...a gorgeous nurse who ate an apple a day. and it didn't keep the doctor away. >> what? [ laughs ] oh, oh, really? i have a quarter. >> how 'bout right after the show? >> no, i got a date. >> oh, you're going out to eat with her? [ laughs ] >> that's close. >> all: ♪ hallelu-u-u-jah ♪ [ up-tempo music plays ] >> the "laugh-in collection" has some of the favorite moments of dan, dick, goldie, and ruth, and arte -- moments that they look back on as having the most fun and many of them as having given the censors the most trouble. >> announcer: it became the number-one show in america after only eight broadcasts -- the highest-rated ensemble comedy
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show in tv history --mmy award-winning sensation that seduced a nation. >> "rowan & martin's... >> "...laugh-in!" >> announcer: now 45 years after the first broadcast, maverick producer george schlatter has hand-picked the best and the funniest -- the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition," available here in dvd or direct download for only $29.95. >> ♪ if your lawyer's sleeping better give him a nudge ♪ ♪ everybody look alive, 'cause here comes the judge ♪ >> announcer: you'll love re-living your favorite "laugh-in" memories. and while you're laughing, you'll fall in love once again with all your favorite cast members. they were the goofiest gang to ever hit primetime. >> i've never been bald before. >> are you sure this isn't naughty? [ both laugh ] >> announcer: imagine owning all these classic celebrity appearances, including sonny and cher, johnny carson, john wayne, sally field, ringo starr, raquel welch, frank sinatra, peter sellers
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tiny tim, and dozens more. >> i just love alan's suits! >> announcer: you'll get this extremely rare collectible footage and more than a few surprises in the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition." call now or log on to own the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition," available on dvd and direct download. >> ow! >> announcer: you'll receive two complete compilation dvds of uncut, uncensored hilarity -- over 100 minutes of rare television history meticulously restored and digitally remastered, all for only $29.95 plus shipping and processing. >> ow. >> announcer: and listen to this! if you order in the next 20 minutes, we'll send you a third dvd -- the "producer's collectors love and romance valentine's special." that's right -- completely free. download it now, and you'll be laughing with your whole family tonight. >> would you give us a demonstration of your hungarian goat-calling prowess? >> [ clears throat ] >> hey, you hungarian goats, i'm calling you! >> announcer: this legendary
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collection can be yours for just $29.95. a lifetime of laughter for your whole family for just $29.95 plus shipping and processing, if you order the dvd set. or you can download it tonight and save. but wait! if you order in the next 20 minutes, we'll also send you a third dvd, and george will personally autograph the first 1,000 orders. that's over three hours of the funniest, most lovable laughable characters ever assembled on television. this legendary show is a true collectible item and something no "laugh-in" lover can afford to be without. so order now and get the three-disc set, plus george's autograph, for the low price of $29.95 plus shipping and processing, or go ahead and log on for a direct download and save. neil armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon, the beatles' "abbey road" hit number one, and while the nation was still divided over the vietnam war, everyone agreed on the number-one tv show in
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america -- "rowan & martin's laugh-in." >> that one is for the invasion of france. that was is for korea. that one is for vietnam. and that one is for cambodia. oh, i'm sorry. that's not until next year. >> the vietnam war had the country torn apart, and we came in with humor about it. and we were torn apart religiously and politically, and into that, we brought humor, which was "oh, my gosh. they're making fun of the president and the pentagon and the oil companies," and all the things we should be making fun of today. [ laughs ] >> i'm talking about the middle east situation. a lot of commie, weirdo, bleeding hearts are saying we shouldn't send arms to israel and egypt. and i say, "balderdash!" now if we send tanks and planes and guns and bombs and napalm and all the other things our productive society has to offer, then they the arabs and the jews will be able to settle their
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differences like true christians. >> all right, men, be careful. it's a minefield. it's a minefield. >> okay, it's a "you-field." it's a "you-field." >> now, chelsea, just remember the game starts with the white men moving first. >> that figures. >> "the sky," by john wayne. "the sky is blue. the grass is green. get off your butt and join the marines." >> remember, make war, not love. >> announcer: now you can bring back the best of the '60s and '70s with the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition." imagine re-living your favorite moments from the breakthrough series that defined an era and redefined television. all the hilarious humor and outrageous gags with all your favorite bits, like the flying fickle finger of fate the farkle family, and side-splittingly funny
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"laugh-in looks at the news." >> ♪ want the news across the nation? ♪ ♪ we have got the information ♪ >> whoo-hoo! ha! ha! >> ♪ ladies and gents ♪ >> ♪ laugh-in looks at the news ♪ >> here's...dickie! >> representatives of the national rifle association said today that anyone who would sell guns to minors and unstable people should be shot. >> years from now, burbank california -- >> no, no, goldie. i do that. >> oh! well, if dick does the present news and then you do the future news, what am i supposed to do? >> tell them that i'm going to do the future news. >> well, you just told them,ie -- ding-dong. oh! [ laughs ] i mean "dan." that was an honest mistake. >> dublin, 1988. with marriage in the church recently sanctioned, the archbishop and his lovely bride, sister mary catherine, said,
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"this time, it's for keeps." >> ♪ da-da, dee-da ♪ ♪ da-da, dee-da ♪ >> da-da, dee-da, ladies and gents. laugh-in looked at the news. >> announcer: "laugh-in" just wouldn't be "laugh-in" without those memorable celebrity guests. and with the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition," you'll treasure seeing your favorite stars of the stage and screen on dvd and direct download any time you want. >> yes? now, uh, according to the internal revenue, we can deduct $600 for everybody we support. well, now, this year, i'm listing the government of south vietnam. >> i would just stop people in the hall, and i said to lorne greene or douglas fairbanks jr., "would you just say 'sock it to me'?" and he'd say, "sock it to me? sock it -- what do you mean 'sock it to me'?" and then we'd run that. >> sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me. >> sock it to me. >> sock it to me, honey!
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>> hey, i got a great idea. why not sock it to joey? >> a pink marine is a happy marine. >> and see-through blouses, huh? >> mm-hmm. well, you see, it's a safety device. no fashion-conscious enemy would shoot and ruin and nifty number like this. >> well [clears throat] as an ex-marine, i think i know what the boys want. >> hmm. you were a marine, huh? did you, uh, see any action? >> you better believe it. >> well, it's been a few years john smith, since they had your head on the chopping block. how have you been getting along? >> real fine, dan. real fine here at the reservation, you know. as a matter of fact, the indians even have a little name for me now. >> oh, really? >> yeah, they call me "running chicken." >> [ laughs ] when did you get that name? >> uh, right after they put my head on that chopping block. >> and, pocahontas... >> yes, i do. >> mr. garner, i admire you very much, and i would like to shake
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your hand. >> why, certainly. >> [ german accent ] wolfgang, go you to your dum-dum. >> [ german accent ] what's a dum-dum? >> the fuhrer is alive and living in kate smith. >> mr. garner, i admire you very much, and i -- >> you wouldn't dare. [ bell rings ] >> announcer: it was so controversial, we couldn't resist tuning in. so wild and fun, we couldn't turn it off. so playful and sexy, we fell in love with... >> "...laugh-in!" >> announcer: now 45 years after the first broadcast, you can own the amazing "laugh-in producer's collectors edition" digitally restored and remastered and available for the very first time on dvd and direct download. >> every christmas, i waited for you.
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>> announcer: call now and own the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition" and receive three dvd compilations of the best "laugh-in" shows ever or visit getlaughin.com for direct download. >> mucho interesante. >> announcer: you'll get over 180 minutes of classic "laugh-in" digitally restored and remastered, all for only $29.95. >> ooh-cha-cha! >> now there goes a gay caballero. >> hi, when we came out with "the best of laugh-in" version number one, it was so successful, we immediately got greedy and popped out with version number 2. now these are both selling on the internet for $149 each. that's a pretty good deal. >> [ laughs ] >> you girls must eat very little food. >> well, we have to eat very little food. big food gets stuck. >> i bet my sweet bippy and lost it. >> this is "the best of laugh-in," the funniest of the funny. i am certain they're selling this a little bit cheap. come on, guys. >> veery eenteresting. >> announcer: "laugh-in" is not sold in stores, and this offer
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is limited, so hurry and act now. own this collectible piece of history. share the laughter and joy with your friends and family for years to come. call now and sock it to us. it was 1971. "the sonny and cher show" made its television debut. gene hackman won best actor for "the french connection." and "rowan & martin's laugh-in" was still making america fall out of its seat laughing. >> and now continuing with our travelogue, we come to that exciting chapter entitled "the year truman capote was abroad." moving along musically now... >> ♪ looks like we made it through the sexy '60s ♪ >> ♪ through the see-through '60s ♪ >> ♪ through the top-and-bottomless '60s ♪ >> [ singing indistinctly ] ♪ with the tulips, with me ♪
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♪ lady ♪ [ both singing indistinctly ] >> say, man, you jews really got rhythm. >> well, if my breath bothers you, the engagement's off. [ scoffs ] >> oh... listen, honey. [ laughing ] my husband once said... >> if my breath bothers you, the engagement's off. [ both laugh ]ired all the outtakes. and that feeling of accident that feeling of danger, and you felt a participant in a
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happening. >> oh, listen, honey. [ laughs ] [ both laugh ] >> if my breath bothers you, the engagement's off. oh, listen, honey. my husband once said that i had breath that would melt mount rushmore. you know what i did? huh? you know what i did? >> so, what'll it be? >> could -- could i please have a black russian? >> once black russian coming up! >> i'll have a frozen daiquiri. >> announcer: "laugh-in" -- winner of four emmy awards, the highest-rated ensemble comedy show in history, and inducted into the broadcast hall of fame. >> we were proud of the success, sure. but we were also proud of the impact it had. we were proud of the fact that we introduced new subject matter and that we opened up areas for
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discussion that hadn't been opened before. >> well, the toy manufacturers have done it again. they have a new war game called "vietnam." it's an adult game played by young people, the rules are impossible to understand, and nobody can win. >> all the kids in my school are really proud of the astronauts. imagine to stay that high for that long. >> the family that watches "laugh-in" together really needs to pray together. >> pray that back to me, sister. >> meanwhile back at the program... >> hi, i'm fanny farkle. this is my husband frank farkle. our children -- mark, sparkle farkle fritz and fred farkle, and the twins, simon and gar farkle, and her... >> hi! >> ...flicker farkle. that's the whole bunch. >> why have you finally consented to appear on our show? >> because your producer wrote
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me an irresistible letter. >> oh, he's an irresistible fella. what did he say? >> well, to begin with, he promised to fly me out in an airplane with two right wings. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> lily tomlin? >> uh, yes, i -- what i -- tonight, i did want to, uh -- i wanted to have a -- i wanted to confr-- because my topic is communication of idea -- because i think, mr. buckley, in a time like this when there's a general -- when the chao-- when the peop-- there's a general conf-- when people don't really -- i think it's a kind -- >> i agree. >> yes. and really, absolutely. >> i've been saying that for years. >> i think so. that's exactly why i wanted -- because, uh, i mean, the word -- the copious verborum -- and i thank you for you views. >> you're very welcome. [ piano music plays ] >> [ laughing musically ]
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>> announcer: now 45 years after the first broadcast, maverick producer george schlatter has hand-picked the best, the funniest -- the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition," available now on dvd for only $29.95 plus shipping and processing or log on right now at getlaughin.com to download and save. you love re-living your favorite "laugh-in" memories. and while you're laughing, you'll fall in love once again with all your favorite cast members. they were the goofiest gang to ever hit primetime. >> mother was wrong. >> announcer: call now to get the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition" and receive all three "laugh-in" compilation shows for only $29.95 plus shipping and processing or log on to getlaughin.com for direct download. >> [ screams ] >> announcer: you'll get over 180 minutes of classic "laugh-in" digitally restored and remastered, all for only $29.95. >> [ ululating ]
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>> aah! >> announcer: but wait! if you're one of the first 1,000 callers, you'll receive george schlatter's personally autographed set of three dvds, all for only $29.95 plus shipping and processing. so hurry and call now. >> i don't get it. >> announcer: sure, you do. if you order in the next 20 minutes, we'll send you a third dvd absolutely free. that's right. you'll get the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition" of the love and romance special, or download it now, and you'll be laughing with your whole family tonight. >> take it away, goldie. >> [ laughs ] >> announcer: "laugh-in producer's collectors edition" is not sold in stores, and this offer is limited. so hurry and act now. you must hurry to own this collectible piece of history. share the laughter and joy with your friends and family for years to come. call now and sock it to us. you'll receive three complete compilation dvds of uncut, uncensored hilarity -- over 180 minutes of jokes, gags, and rare television history meticulously restored and digitally remastered, all for only $29.95.
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for more information on how you can purchase these and other "laugh-in" collectibles, go to getlaughin.com. that's right, getlaughin.com and get laughin' now. >> the "laugh-in" collection are some of our favorite moments. we've taken into consideration what was arte's favorite, what was goldie's favorite, and tried to pick the best of the best. >> ♪ this is a groovy life ♪ >> ♪ this a lot of fun ♪ >> ♪ i may be black and blue before the season's done ♪ >> ♪ in spite of chicken jokes we're telling everyone ♪ >> ♪ that it's a "sock it to me" ♪ >> ♪ verry eenteresting ♪ >> ♪ cuckoo "laugh-in" world ♪ >> dum! [ boing! ] >> oh! >> ♪ we never get uptight ♪ >> ♪ we never hold a grudge ♪ >> ♪ if worry's in the way ♪ >> ♪ we give a little nudge ♪ >> ♪ we let it all hang out ♪ >> ♪ and yell...♪ >> here comes the judge! ♪ if your lawyer's sleeping better give him a nudge ♪ ♪ everybody look alive, 'cause here comes the judge ♪
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>> ♪ 'cause it's a "sock it to me" ♪ >> ♪ verry eenteresting ♪ >> ♪ cuckoo "laugh-in" world ♪ >> i just want to swing. >> ♪ the elevators work but never up and down ♪ >> ♪ we're wearing roller skates beneath a velvet gown ♪ >> ♪ we think that charles de gaulle ♪ ♪ is really quite a clown ♪ >> ♪ 'cause it's a...♪ >> sock it to me! >> very interesting. >> ♪ cuckoo "laugh-in" world ♪ >> and now the moment that we've all been waiting for. >> announcer: now is your last chance to bring back all your great memories with the "laugh-in producer's collectors edition." go to the phone right now and call the number on your screen to order this amazing collection or simply log on to getlaughin.com. remember, you'll get the three-dvd compilation set, plus george schlatter's personal autograph all for the very low price of $29.95 plus shipping and processing. >> ♪ cuckoo "laugh-in" world ♪ >> ♪ it's a "sock it to me ♪ >> sock it to me. >> sock it to me.
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>> ♪ sock it to me ♪ ♪ sock it to me ♪ >> verry eenteresting. >> ♪ cuckoo ♪ >> ♪ "laugh-in" world ♪ >> goodnight, dick. >> goodnight, dick. >> goodnight, dick. >> goodnight, dick. >> say "goodnight, dick." >> goodnight, dick. you mean they actually get laughs with this kind of stuff? >> announcer: this has been a paid presentation for ""rowan & martin's laugh-in" brought to you by george schlatter productions "the laugh-in producer's collectors edition."
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>> welcome to gospel truth with andrew wommack. a teaching ministry that focuses on god's unconditional love and grace. celebrating 20 years of discipling others through charis bible college worldwide, >> and now, here's andrew. welcome to our wednesday's broadcast

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