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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  September 29, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EDT

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and featuring the legendary ots crew. >> questlove: 544! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hey! enjoy yourself. welcome. welcome. please, have a seat. enjoy yourself. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone to "the tonight show." this is it. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show. this is the one to be at tonight. hot show tonight. hot show! [ cheers and applause ]
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we'll get to the show. first, here's what everyone is talking about. of course, it is still the election. and i saw that hillary clinton actually went to her granddaughter's second birthday party instead of preparing for the first debate against trump. yeah. i guess she figured being around a bunch of screaming toddlers might help her even more. [ laughter and applause ] that's right, hillary went to her granddaughter's second birthday party. apparently she played her favorite party games -- duck, duck, question and pin the blame on the i.tgu [ laughter and applause ] i never heard those -- while speaking to the students at the university of new hampshire yesterday, hillary clinton said, quote, "isn't this one of the strangest elections you've ever seen?" and then college kids were like, "uh, we're 18. [ laughter and applause ] it is the only election we've ever seen." haven't seen that many. and get this. hillary said that when she was a young woman going to law school, she had to take out loans, because her dad couldn't
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because he'd already gone broke donating to her future presidential campaign. [ laughter and applause ] "another fundraising letter? ugh, all right." i read that just this past week, hillary clinton spent $12 million on campaign ads compared to donald trump who only spent $600,000. and you can really tell donald trump is doing campaign ads as cheaply as possible. take a look at this recent ad. ? >> our children watch everything we do. and the person we elect as president has the power to shape thli hillary has spent her entire career bringing folks together on behalf of our kids. >> wrong. >> hillary will be a president our kids can look up to. >> wrong. >> a president who believes in our kids and will fight for them every day. >> wrong. >> that's why i believe in -- >> donald trump! >> i hope you'll join me. >> i'm -- >> donald trump! >> and i approved this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i guess it gets the point across. >> steve: wrong. >> jimmy: actually, michelle obama is campaigning
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is the only person in this race who has any idea what being president is like. then trump said, "i heard that on thanksgiving, you get to fire a turkey." [ light laughter ] [ applause ] "that's what i'm hearing." and bernie sanders is also campaigning with hillary. yesterday he asked a crowd at one of her rallies, "is everybody here ready to transform america?" followed by his next question, "does anybody here remember where i parked?" "it's a '94 taurus. with the left blinker on." and get this, donald trump is reportedly angry that his advisers are saying that he struggled during the first debate. then his advisors were like, "oh, so you can hear us." [ laughter ] "it was as if there were a wall between us." check this out, you guys. e-sports has been getting really big lately and a lot of professional video game players are actually getting pretty famous.
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name of seagull finishing up and interview at a competition this week. and check out his cool handshake at the end. watch. >> excellent, man. thank you very much for your time. and we're gonna send it back to the desk right now. oh! [ laughter ] i'm not gonna leave you hanging. i'm not gonna leave you hanging. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: in case you missed it, let's get a closer look at that handshake. [ laughter ] i guesvi the hand-eye coordination, but not hand-hand coordination. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, here's a crazy story. this week, a woman in tennessee walked into her home and found two burglars having sex on her couch. when they tried to run away, she yelled, "at least steal the couch!" [ laughter and applause ] who needs it? we have a great show tonight, you guys.
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[ cheers and applause ] ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a giant show tonight. this saturday, she is hosting the season premier of "saturday night live" with musical guest, the weeknd. margot robbie is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] current vice president of the united states. we are delighted to have him here. vice president joe biden is on the show tonight! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] good show. >> jimmy: amazing. and then, i'm so excited for this. for the first time ever on "the tonight show," we have music from metallica! [ cheers and applause ] oh!
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metallica. i mean -- get ready. i mean, this is -- they don't do -- they don't do this type of stuff. they don't do tv. they don't do -- they always do travel with joe biden. >> steve: that's true. [ laughter ] that's one thing they do. >> jimmy: that's one thing, you know. but so -- a good. i'm just so happy they're here. what a great, giant show. thank you guys so much for being here tonight and watching. [ cheers and applause ] very exciting. first for you guys right now, it is time for "tonight show" hashtags. here we go. ? hashtags hashtags ? >> jimmy: here we go. you guys are on twitter, right? are you on twitter? [ cheers ] we use twitter on our show every single week. so if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since the first presidential debate was this week, and both candidates received plenty of advice from their campaign staff, i went on twitter and
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do you get it? >> steve: got it. [ light laughter ] i don't get it. >> jimmy: i don't have to describe -- we asked you guys to tweet out some funny, weird, or just plain bad advice that you've gotten. we got thousands of tweets. within 30 minutes it was a a trending topic in the u.s. [ cheers and applause ] so thank you so much for those tweets. now i thought i'd share some of my #badvice tweets from you guys. this one's from @micahwilliams24. he says, "guy at work tried to give me marriage advice and finished with, 'trust me, i've been m [ laughter and applause ] well, then -- "that's three times the experience." [ light laughter ] this one's from @2omarsc1. sounds like he's a robot or something. [ light laughter ] he says, "when someone had a a cold, my grandma used to tell them to drink tequila because, 'either you'll lose the cold or you'll forget about it.'" [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: that's good advice.
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this is good. this is from @shawnget. he says, "my grandpa once told me not to use my blinker when driving, because 'it's no one's business where you're going.'" [ laughter and applause ] hey, mind your own business. tell you where i'm goin'. >> steve: you take care of you. >> jimmy: i'm makin' a left right. this one's from @dumbdonald6. he said -- [ light laughter ] six. >> steve: dumb donald 6. i liked dumb donald 5. >> jimmy: he says, "i had a a crush on a girl and my dad said, 'you should climb in her window and leave a note on her pillow. it's romantic.'" [ laughter and applause ] "hey, dad, i'm calling from jail. this one's from @britbroadhouse. she says, "i was told to sprinkle baby powder on my sheets the freshen them up. i woke up looking like a a powdered doughnut." [ laughter and applause ] slept like a baby, literally. this one's from @chelseybunbun.
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that's a good one. she says, "my dad told me if you have a bad cough, take a a laxative -- then you'll be afraid to cough." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: what is he talking about? >> steve: that's why they call her bun bun. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this last one's from @kellygator. she says, "bought a car that smelled like cigarettes, was told vinegar would fix it. now my car just smells like pickled cigarettes." there you have it. those are our "tonight show" hashtags. to check out more of our favorites, go to stick around, we'll be back with margot robbie, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ? wild mustangs... i can't believe we live in the middle of all this. they're supposed to be one of the most gentle creatures in nature.
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state farm knows that for every one of those moments, there's one of these... wild mustangs?!? i can't believe we live in the middle of all this! they're supposed to be one of the most gentle creatures in nature. really? i don' know, i read that once... that's why more people save money by combining their home and auto with state farm. here to help life go right, state farm. she saw the boots and fell for fall all over again. was she expecting to find the perfect designer boots at such an amazing price? no. you never know what you're gonna find, but you know you're gonna love it. ? ?
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only at your lincoln dealer. [ 80's music ] can i get anyone a beer? make it a redd's apple ale! redd's apple ale.
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she stole the show this summer playing harley quinn in "suicide squad" and a few days from now she's hosting the 42nd season premiere of "saturday night live" with musical guest, the
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one of our favorites. here's margot robbie! ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: margot! hi. they love you. come on, they love you. are you so excited? >> i love coming here. it is such an ego boost. no, we love having you here. please, please, please. >> jimmy: i'm psyched to have you here, i'm psyched to have vice president joe biden and i'm psyched to have metallica all in one show. >> i know -- that is like -- >> jimmy: i'm very excited. i'm nervous. >> that's mind blowing. metallica. >> jimmy: isn't that great? >> i mean and the vice president, but like metallica. that's insane. >> jimmy: have you ever seen the vice president in concert? [ laughter ] metallica? have you seen those guys? >> i haven't seen them in concert. but i meant, i love them.
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into? >> i did. i had a real like heavy metal phase. when i was like 14. and i dyed my hair black and i literally cut with it a razor blade. and i would only wear band shirts and like only listen to like the heaviest of heavy metal. >> jimmy: and who were you into? >> i was a really weird phase. like silverstein and like bullet for my valentine. >> jimmy: really. >> slipknot. i went to a slipknot concert. it was actually to this day, probably the best concert i've ever gone to. >> jimmy: is that right? >> it was amazing. >> jimmy: slipknot. even if you don't like metal, i think you would appreciate the concert. because it's just like incredible to watch. i was on a soap at the time in australia called "neighbors." and, as you can imagine, those people that would generally watch "neighbors." you'd imagine it would be like families at dinner time or like young people. but at the slipknot concert i got more recognized at the slipknot concert than anywhere else i'd ever been whilst on "neighbors." it was so weird. and i was like well, this is one place no one is ever going
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and these huge guys with like, tattoos and like, piercings everywhere, would be like, is bridget's baby really dead? and i'll be like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: at the slipknot concert? >> yeah. and i was like you watch "neighbors?" are you serious? >> jimmy: they love it. you would never know. you never know anyone's story. >> they loved everyone. it was so random. >> jimmy: that's the coolest thing ever. i love hearing that. "asturday night live", i'm hearing the best things from everybody. they loved having you there all week. >> oh my god. it's so like -- it's an intense week. >> it's really fun, right? >> yeah. but it's like -- >> jimmy: what's weirding you out. what's making you -- what's your experience? >> it -- it's just like not -- i don't know if i'm going to be able to pull it off. and like so many times, we did the table read yesterday. and was just about to go to lorne's office and like -- just be like, you got the wrong girl for the job. i'm so sorry but i shouldn't do this. you should get someone else to come in and do it. and i hope it's not too late but i'm going to like not do it. >> jimmy: what do you mean? have you met with the writers and everything? they have great writers. >> yes, no.
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>> jimmy: you have the weekend performing as well. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you get to see him rehearse at all? >> i haven't seen him rehearse. we shot like, one quick promo. i didn't want to be like -- i didn't want to like stand out. it is so weird meeting people that you idolize. you don't want to be uncool. like, i met kate mckinnon. we did a promo. and i'm like such a huge fan of hers. i met her. and i was just like i didn't know what to say. it was so embarrassing. she came over here. she was like, a big fan. big fan. [ laughter ] and i was like no, i'm your fan. impression of kate mckinnon. that's unbelievable. >> she was like, big fan. i was like, no, i'm your -- you never say what you think you want to say when you meet someone like that. you just sound uncool. >> jimmy: did you give any tattoos to anyone this week? >> i haven't given a tattoo this week. >> jimmy: the last time we talked about this, and this is something you end up doing on the set. you actually, illegally, i should add -- >> is there a law against it? >> jimmy: i'm sure you have to be licensed.
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>> i've always wondered if it is like okay to do that. >> jimmy: you give tattoos to people on the set and they let you do it because you're so charming and nice. >> they make it seem like fun. then afterwards, why did i do it? >> jimmy: give me a drawing of what you would tattoo. >> yeah, last time i was here. >> jimmy: and you drew this. a little girl with a balloon. [ light laughter ] >> that's my specialty. like stick figurey. >> jimmy: i love that so much. seriously, i think that's one of the cutest drawings ever and i'm not ready to get a tattoo. >> maybe next . >> jimmy: but i was thinking, i had a rubber stamp made of the drawing. i thought maybe if you would like, you can give me my first tattoo. it is just -- it's kind of temporary. it will last the weekend. >> oh, my god! >> jimmy: i'm going to do it. >> that is so thoughtful, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] all right. >> on your bum cheek? >> jimmy: no, no. i think here is cool, right? >> we'll play it safe. >> jimmy: i do play it safe, yeah. >> next time we'll get it
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>> jimmy: i don't know. alright girl, here we go. ? oh, not bad. [ cheers and applause ] >> can i have one too? >> jimmy: yeah. you have the show. you have the show. >> you said that. >> jimmy: are you sure? >> i'll wash it off. these aren't permanent so it should be easy. >> jimmy: ok, ready pal. i'm so psyched to get it. >> oh my god, i love it! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that means you're you guys, do not miss margot robbie hosting the season premier of "saturday night live" this weekend! we love you! vice president joe biden joins us after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ? ?i will follow you,?
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narrator: over and over it's been their agenda: anything to defund planned parenthood. kelly ayotte and washington republicans voted 6 different times to defund planned parenthood. they're on a crusade to block services new hampshire women and families depend on: cancer screenings, birth control, basic women's healthcare. kelly ayotte and washington republicans have put defunding planned parenthood at the top of their agenda... and it's time for that to change. i'm maggie hassan
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are very honored to welcome our next guest to "the tonight show." he's the 47th vice president of the united states. everyone, please welcome vice president joe biden! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? welcome to the show. and thank you for being here. >> it's good to be here. >> jimmy: oh, please, it's my pleasure. >> just before we begin, i'm a a fan so go easy on me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you. me, too. i actually met you once before. we were at a time 100 event. >> that's right. >> jimmy: it was a beautiful event. i went up to you and i apologized for making all the
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[ light laughter ] >> and i didn't get a cut. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: didn't even get one little cut. but, we actually did some research. i've probably done 347 jokes about you while you were in office. [ light laughter ] >> shouldn't i get some royalty for that or something? >> jimmy: yeah, we can probably get -- you want some water? got a mug of water we can offer you that. >> i've not been gainfully employed since i've been 26. you know, i mean, i'm gonna need help when i get out of this job. >> jimmy: i remember when we were talking that night and i i have to do these jokes. and you were a great sport about it. you said, well, imagine if i ran for president. >> well, hell, your ratings would go way up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was bowing to you. please make that happen. yeah. i got to see you speak that night and i have to say i was so impressed. you were just such an amazing -- >> uh oh. >> jimmy: no, i'm serious. it was a moving speech. and it was great. it was right after the boston marathon attack.
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and beautifully about america and how, you know, we stand up to, you know, to these attacks and we don't let terror stop us. it just, it was fantastic. people were crying. when i say people, i was crying. [ light laughter ] you quoted an irish poem. and i think it was heaney or something. >> seamus heaney, yeah. >> jimmy: seamus heaney? >> "the cure of troy." there's a stanza in this poem that i think describes where we are now, he says, "history teaches us not to hope on this side of the grave, but then once in a a lifetime, that longed-for tidal wave of justice rises up and hope and history rhyme." i really think we're at that place in american history. if we just have the nerve to seize the moment. i -- the american people never bend, they never break, they're generous. and i wish we would stop talking about how, what trouble we're in. we are in a better position
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to own the 21st century. we really are. >> jimmy: that's right. >> we really are. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: anyway, i love that. now that i have you here we should talk to you about the debate. did you watch it? [ laughter and applause ] >> bless me father, for i'm about to sin. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what did you -- what did you think? what did you think of the debate? where were you watching it? did you have a debate party? >> well, actually -- [ laughter ] and for a while, i thought, i've never quite seen anything like that. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you haven't, right? you've never seen -- >> no, no, i haven't. and i've done, you know, i've done a couple debates. 71 people -- 71 million people watched me debate sarah palin, or sarah palin debate me. and then i had a second debate, but you know i -- >> jimmy: have you ever seen that many fact checking? it seemed like fact checking was a big thing. >> well, i can tell you what,
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ? it's not a joke! it's like, whoa. >> jimmy: the whole night was a a joke. were you going, oh, that was good for hillary or that was bad or -- >> well you know what you tend to do is when you've had to do it yourself and you know every word you say is being flyspecked by everybody else. >> jimmy: yeah. you're sitting on your couch going, i would have said that. i would have done that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know? >> jimmy: it's like when you play "jeopardy" at home. >> that's right. >> jimmy: yeah, you go, oh come on. you don't know final jeopardy? >> well, i'll tell you, this is real jeopardy. [ laughter ] we are in real jeopardy. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. anything surprise you at all? >> well, you know what surprised me? and i'll be serious for just a a second here. maybe that's dangerous to do on this show. >> jimmy: no, please. have you seen my monologue? >> your monologues are good.
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me about donald trump, and it's not -- he's probably a decent guy. but it's his lack of sensibilities. i mean, the way he talks about, you know, well, you know, i was rooting for the housing market to fail because that's business. that's not business. that's callous. i mean, that's not business. or i paid no taxes and that makes me smart. what does it make, the rest us suckers? i mean -- no, i really mean it. think about it. any president you've studied, read about or knew who would say anything like that? name me one president who would do that. it angers me quite frankly. >> jimmy: i didn't know you could choose to not pay your taxes. [ laughter ] >> well, you know -- >> jimmy: 'cause i'm like, i've seen people like willie nelson and wesley snipes get busted and you go, why is it those guys? and this guy just doesn't have to do it? >> you know look --
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the american people don't like being played for suckers. and you know, you've got somebody working the assembly line making $51,000 and his wife making $50,000 working as, you know, in another factory. and they're paying 15% of their income, they're trying to raise two kids. i mean, i just don't -- i can't imagine why somebody would say that. like that makes me smart. you know, my dad had an expression, for real. when somne joe, i pay too much in taxes. he said, look, it's a small price to pay to live in this country. i mean, just pay your fair share, for god's sake. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i do. >> i know you do. >> jimmy: and i live in new york. it's like wow! >> i know you live in new york and -- >> jimmy: wow, yeah, yeah, yeah. boy, oh, boy do i, yeah. are you -- are you -- are you shocked that the polls are this close or are they this close or they're just fake numbers? >> well, i don't know. i yield to the audience on this.
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every election, presidential election, the last four, people are taking longer and longer to make up their minds. my grandpop used to have an expression. he'd say, joey, folks don't decide how they're gonna vote until after the world series. i don't think it takes that long but i think people are really -- i think they're really uneasy. they're not -- they're not -- i don't think they've really made up their minds yet. and i think -- but it has surprised me, i must tell you, it has surprised me, that he did as well as he did in the republican primaries. and it surprised me that he's sort of still in the game. and again, i'm not talking about his character. i'm not attacking it. it just -- he just seems so -- i've never known of a candidate who knows as little about the world as this man does. [ light laughter ] no, no, really. [ applause ] look, look. i was in australia with the prime minister. not had to, i went down there because he wanted to talk about
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and i got a call from the president of latvia. would i come and speak to the baltic state president. i flew all the way there just to assure them that we, that republicans and democrats, thought the commitment in nato was a sacred commitment. we would defend them. because trump is saying, i'm not sure, man. have you paid up your dues, man? i mean, this guy -- i don't even think he understands how much damage he does, by he's already said. i mean, because europe, especially central and eastern europe is scared to death about what putin may or may not do. and this guy -- i mean, look, but there is hope. he found out crimea is part of ukraine. i mean, you know, maybe he'll -- [ laughter ] maybe he'll find out -- it' almost like the guy didn't really intend to do this. he thought that maybe this was a lark and it will go somewhere
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gary johnson at all in any interview? he couldn't name a world leader yesterday. he couldn't name a world leader. not one. it was very interesting. what do you say to people that are thinking about -- >> he thought aleppo was a dog food or something. i don't know. >> jimmy: he did, yeah. he didn't know. yeah. >> now, look, it just is, you know, i've traveled over a a million, 100,000 miles as vice president, for the president. and a lot of the audience may have traveled to a lot of other countries. like, going, what's going on? but, look. i just think hillary, you'd expect me to say this, okay? but hillary is one of the brightest people i've ever known. has an incredible amount of experience. and i feel -- and i think she's going to win and i think we'll be in good hands. look, nobody -- nobody's perfect.
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by the way, i learned how to become the ideal candidate. announce you're not running for president. [ laughter and applause ] oh! oh! that's amazing! >> jimmy: that's what i'm saying! more with the vice president after the break. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ? we've just been hearing so much about how you're a digital company, yet here you are building a jet engine. eanut butter and jelly. yeah. ham and cheese. cops and robbers. yeah. nachos and karate. ahh. not that one so much. the rest were really good. socks and shoes.
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we're here with the vice president of the united states, joe biden, everybody. thank you again for being here. i want to show everybody this thing that kind of went around. it was a memo that you sent to your staff and it kind of made the rounds. i don't know how it got public. but it's unbelievable. it says, to my wonderful staff, i want to take a moment and make something clear to everyone. i don't expect nor do i want any of you to you miss or sacrifice important family obligations for work. family obligations include but are not limited to family birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, and religious ceremonies such as first
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graduations, times of needs such as illness or loss of a a family. this is very important to me. in fact, i would go so far to say if i find out that you are working with me while missing important family responsibilities, it will disappoint me greatly. this has been an unwritten rule since my days in the senate. thank you all for your hard work. sincerely, joe. [ cheers and applause ] best thing i have ever read. and i loved it. >> well, you know, when i first got to the senate, i got ec before i turned 30, or just after i turned 30, i was down hiring staff. my wife and daughter were killed in an automobile accident. and my two boys were really badly injured. and i thought i was a decent father before then. but you realize that, you know, in my generation, it was about quality time instead of quantity time. there is no such thing as quality time. every important thing your child will say to you will be
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will be at a time when you don't expect it. and kids can hold an idea for maybe 12, 14 hours. but after that, it's gone, man. you lose it. and this idea of the way we all rationalize. you know? i had to take red eye to get home for a birthday. but you know, it really doesn't matter that much to my wife, her birthday. or if i just make this business trip, i'll miss his last football game but he'll understand. a bunch of malarkey. it's just not true. and i don't want anybody in my staff feeling an obligation to do something for me when there is something that matters in the family. and there is nothing noble about it. i do it. when i ran a second time, i was, i had missed 14% of the votes the first time. and i ran against a good guy. and he had a very effective ad. he said, would you hire someone who missed 14 days out of every hundred days?
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and i never missed a vote, they were decisive procedural votes. i went on the air and i said, look, elect me again. and i have a choice between a a procedural vote or going on a a parent-teacher meeting, i'm going to the parent-teacher meeting. and if i can hold myself to that -- [ applause ] by the way, it is a lot easier for me because i have a million employers. no, i really mean it. it is harder when you have a a boss. so i felt, if could i do that, i should not hold my staff to any er and by the way, i get more productivity out my staff than people get who are you know demanding. >> jimmy: i said to my staff, i love this idea if it doesn't interfere with work. [ laughter ] figure it out. we can talk. we can talk. don't even think about it. the cue card guys are already leaving. hey roman, nothing is happening this late at night. okay, no ballgames are on right now. >> anyway, >> jimmy: i want to tell you.
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a great message. i have 2 daughters and i think about it all the time. i go, i just wish -- >> hold them tight, man. it goes. it goes very quickly. >> jimmy: i want to talk about "it's on us" campaign. you have to be proud of this. >> well, i am. my dad, my dad was a graceful gentle man. he used to say that the greatest sin is the abuse of power, and the cardinal sin of all is for a man to raise his hand to a woman or a child. we can change the culture here. we can change the culture. and no means no. if a woman can't respond because she's inebriated or under the influence, then it's rape. it's real simple proposition. and i'm confident the vast majority -- you know, i had my staff, constantly survey when the effect has been, violent
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over 60%. but one thing i found out. that women between the ages of 18 and 24, nothing had changed. they were being as brutalized as they were before. and that's when we started this notion of, we asked, we went on one of these town hall meetings with thousands of people in colleges. and we said what can we do? and they said get men involved get men involved in this process. any man who takes a drunk woman up the stairs in a fraternity house is a damn coward, man. there is nothing manly about this. they should get knocked on their ass. and we have to change the way we think about this. and i'm convinced, i'm convinced the vast majority of men understand and it's about time we speak up and we intervene when we see it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's just amazing.
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i'm just too passionate about it. >> jimmy: i love all these things that you do and i want to get on a lighter note. another thing i enjoyed was this photo of you eating ice cream with sunglasses on. [ light laughter ] and it's just something, you're holding money. i don't know what's going on. [ light laughter ] i don't understand what this is about. but it really -- >> it was a payoff. >> jimmy: it made me laugh and i had to take th since you're vice president of the united states and you only have a few more weeks left. i was wondering if you would like to share an ice cream cone. >> i'm in, man. >> jimmy: you are? this is the tonight dough ice cream. ben and jerry's. and all the proceeds to go serious fund, which is paul newman's hole in the wall. it is. good have you had it before? you're forgetting the best
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>> you know, for my whole career, i've been listed as the poorest man in the senate. [ light laughter ] i've been wearing these since i was 16. they're coming back. >> jimmy: they are coming back. [ cheers and applause ] a pleasure to meet you. thank you for being here, mr. vice president. we'll be right back with the performance of metallica, everybody. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ? ? ? ? one smart choice leads to the next. ? the new 2017 ford fusion is here. it's the beauty of a well-made choice. ?
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's musical guest is one of the most influential rock bands in music history. [ cheers and applause ] and has sold 120 million albums worldwide! [ cheers and applause ] performing "moth into flame" off their upcoming album "hard wired to self-destruct," give it up for metallica! [ cheers and applause ] ?
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? ? ? blacked out pop queen amphetamine the screams crashed into silence tapped out ? ? doused in the gasoline the high times going timeless decadence death of the innocence ? ? the pathway starts to spiral infamy all for publicity destruction going viral ? ? light it up ah light it up another hit erases all the pain bulletproof ? ? ah kill the truth you're falling but you think you're flying high
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? ? sold your soul built a higher wall yesterday now you're thrown away ? ? same rise and fall who cares at all seduced by fame a moth into the flame ? ? ? twisted backstabbing wicked the delusion absolution perjurer ? ? fame is the murderer seduce you into ruin light it up ah light it up ? ? another hit erases all the pain bulletproof ah tell the truth ? ? you're falling but you think you're flying high
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? sold your soul built a higher wall yesterday now you're thrown away ? ? same rise and fall who cares at all seduced by fame a moth into the flame ? ? ? ? guarantee your name you go and kill yourself the vultures feast around you still ? ? overdose on shame and insecurity
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? ? ? ? ?
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? death scene black hearse the limousine a grave filled with seduction vaccine fame does the murdering ? ? she builds up for destruction so light it up ah light it up ? ? another hit erases all the pain bulletproof ah no excuse ? ? you're falling but you think you're flying high high again ? ? ? ? sold your soul built a higher wall yesterday now you're thrown away ? ? same rise and fall who cares at all seduced by fame a moth into the flame ?
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it. come on! that's it right there. metallica! there you go! hard wired! "hard wired to self-destruct" is out november 18th. we'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen! oh, my goodness!
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narrator: over and over it's been their agenda: anything to defund planned parenthood. kelly ayotte and washington republicans voted 6 different times to defund planned parenthood. they're on a crusade to block services new hampshire women and families depend on: cancer screenings, birth control, basic women's healthcare. kelly ayotte and washington republicans have put defunding planned parenthood at the top of their agenda... and it's time for that to change. i'm maggie hassan
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to margot robbie, vice president joe biden, metallica, once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] ? >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- justin theroux. from "son of zorn," actor tim meadows. comedian naomi ekperigin. featuring the 8g band with danny carey. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right. in that case let's get to the news. fox news anchor megan kelly argued with trump campaign manager kelley anne conway last night over whether donald trump has a history of making inappropriate comments to women. said trump during the argument,
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donald trump spoke at a rally yesterday and told supporters that hillary clinton's campaign is the most unserious campaign in american history. unserious? [ laughter ] this is the person you're calling unserious? [ laughter ] she always looks like you just told her you wrecked her car. [ laughter ] look at that face. she looks like the head mistress in a 1960s bbc series, where the unserious? [ light laughter ] what would that even look like? oh, yeah. there we go. [ laughter ] there we go. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] there it is. [ cheers and applause ] at his rally donald trump accused google of suppressing


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