tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC February 2, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EST
in that case, let's get to the news. in the most shocking story of the week, a hollywood actor talked to a drug dealer. [ laughter ] it's bound to happen. mexican officials revealed sunday that fugitive drug lord, el chapo, nearly escaped by using a secret doorway hidden behind a mirror, which would have made it hard to capture him since mexico has no extradition agreement with narnia. [ laughter ] fit right in narnia. the golden globes were held last night in los angeles. the globes were held mostly by double-sided tape. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] what a night. what a night! for double-sided tape. leonardo dicaprio won the best actor award at last night's golden globes for his performance in the film "the
dicaprio said it was a real challenge because as someone who dates super models, he's never really had to deal with fur. [ laughter ] you're thinking about it. [ laughter ] some of you are thinking about it. donald trump in a new interview continued to question ted cruz's eligibility for president and said if you're born in canada, it's immediately a little e t of a problem. apparently trump believes that if you weren't born in the u.s., the highest office you can hope for is wife. [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] the white house revealed over the weekend that president obama privately met with bernie sanders and when she heard this, hillary clinton fake smiled so hard, her ears touched
[ laughter ] the world-famous playboy mansion is for sale. luckily, so is bleach. [ laughter ] you might think it's bad turning on a black light in there, but it's not. because it's so covered -- [ laughter ] rumors are swirling that apple may come out with a line of self-driving cars, which means that for some future birthday, dennis hoff, the owner of nevada's famous bunny ranch brothel has announced he will run for senate in 2016, even though the only experience he has with politicians is telling them to "come back soon!" [ laughter ] [ applause ] the village of whitesboro, new york, held a vote today over whether the town should change its seal after it's s lled racist for showing a white
american. [ laughter ] for real. said one native american, "while you're at it, we're not crazy about the name of the town either." [ laughter ] an indiana high school has started serving so-called sandwiches of shame to students with debt on their lunch accounts. great. "now we have to come up with a new slogan," said subway. [ audience ohs ] >> seth: what, did something happen? [ laughter ] a texas man was arrested for methamphetamine possession after the new year, while wearing a shirt with the phrase "don't meth with me." after proposing to his girlfriend in a local walmart, a michigan man was arrested last week for shoplifting a vibrator and edible thong from a nearby sex store. he's being charged with proposing to his girlfriend in a walmart. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] can't do that. the one place. and finally, the daily beast
article titled "when you fall in love with a stripper." said the subject of the story, when we met, i thought it was destiny. but it was actually crystal. destiny had the night off. [ laughter ] we -- [ cheers and applause ] you guys, i don't -- i'm not just saying this. we have a great show for you tonight. he is the host of "the daily show" on comedy central. trevor noah joins us tonight! [ cheers and applause ] how about that? also, he's a very funny man, a fantastic actor. he is in the third season of "todd margaret" on ifc. david cross is stopping by the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] huge fan of his. i'm looking forward to that. and we have music from the great new york rock band x ambassadors will be joining us this evening. [ cheers and applause ] but before we get to that, as i mentioned earlier, mexican officials captured notorious drug lord, joaquin guzman, also known as el chapo, friday night. while the details of the capture were fascinated, they were quickly dwarfed by the fact that
down with sean penn for a "rolling stone" interview. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." >> seth: you may know el chapo is one of mexico's most powerful drug king pins and one of the world's most wanted fugitives, but he's known as much for his role in mexico's drug war as he is for his creative ways of getting free. >> in 2001, he escaped from the mexican high-security prison puente grande by hiding in a laundry cart and most recently he escaped from the maximum security altiplano prison in july. prison video shows him casually crawling into a hole in a cell which led to a mile-long tunnel. >> seth: he is so good at escaping, he does it casually. [ light laughter ] he bursts out of jail the way other people wear khakis on a friday. last year he escaped through a mile-long tunnel with light ventilation and a rail system. how could el chapo's gang build such a sophisticated tunnel without being noticed? well apparently guards at the prison never bothered to
hammering and clanging sounds coming from el chapo's cell. [ laughter ] and before you judge anyone for ignoring mexican clanging, ask yourself what you did the last time a mariachi band played on your subway. i made eye contact with them. no, you didn't. [ laughter ] while el chapo was captured friday night after a firefight, and cnn was thrilled to bringing footage of the hotel authorities held him in. >> this hotel is located on the outskirts of the town. when you look at it, it's a perfect place for federal authorities to bring el chapo. look at this. this is a hotel room that has its own garage space. fairly standard room. got a toilet. it's got a shower. and it's got a sink and wash-up area. and it's located right by the highway. so there are a lot of things that make this room almost ideal for the job that they had. >> is he reporting on the hotel or advertising for it?
that's martin savidge, or as he's also known, the trivago guy. for reports like cnn's were soon a distant memory bececse on saturday, this photo surfaced. and the first question everyone asked was, "wait, which one is the fugitive?" [ laughter ] him? but both of them live in the jungle, right? no? okay. but the second question everyone asked was how did an actor get an interview with a wanted fugitive. the world hasn't seen anything like this since ellen pompeo's 2011 interview of osama bin laden for kosmo titled zero dark thirty sex moves he wished you secretly try. is aware of his own larger than life reputation and his huge ego is part of what led to his capture on friday. >> may have been hollywood dreams that put the most infamous drug lord back behind bars. >> the attorney general said guzman's desire to make a movie about himself and his interaction with producers and actors eventually led to his arrest.
to locate him, because his representatives were contacting producers and actresses. >> seth: so bad news. the el chapo movie is probably on hold. the good news, if you want to see what it would have looked like, you can just edit together scenes from "scarface" "shawshank redemption." and heratio sanz sketches. [ light laughter ] what did penn find out in his interview with el chapo? well he got him to acknowledge on the record the size and scope of his drug empire and told penn, quote, "i supply more heroin, methamphetamine, cocaine and marijuana than anybodydylse in the world. i have a fleet of submarines, airplanes, trucks and boats." and let me just say when you deal drugs, i'm not impressed that you have airplanes, trucks or boats. i'm impressed you have submarines. [ laughter ] i mean, my uncle has a boat. but if you're so good at dealing drugs you have multiple submarines, take a well-deserved bow. although maybe save some of that submarine money and buy a backup t-shirt. [ laughter ]
a fleet of trucks, i want a fleet of boats, one t-shirt. [ laughter ] speaking of men who proudly speak of their riches, penn and el chapo also discussed who else, donald trump. penn writes, "i mention trump, el chapo smiles ironically saying, "ah, mi amigo." [ laughter ] and i can't imagine the contradictions that quote created for trump. he's exactly the kind of mexican i promised to keep out, but he's also a rich businessman who likes me. i don't know how to feel. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i don't know. how. to feel -- now some have criticized "rolling stone" for their journalistic standards as penn promised el chapo he would be able to read the piece before it was published. the other criticism is with what many of described as penn's elaborate writing style. and there is no better example of that than this passage in which penn describes his final
quote, "chapo puts his arm over my shoulder and renews his request that i see him in eight days. i'll be saying goodbye now," he says. "at this moment, i expel a minor traveler's flatulence. we escape in subtle groom and i join my colleagues inside the bungalow." [ laughter ] that's not how you describe a fart in front of a drug lord. that's how you describe a fart at a wine-tasting. mm, that's playful with a subtle bloom. also, i travel a lot. there is no such thing as a minor traveler's flatulence. people either have no flatulence or they're trying to bring down the plane. [ laughter ] at the end of the day, i have to be impressed that penn managed to track him down. and i for one am l lking forward to the next time sean penn interviews el chapo after he escapes from prison again six months from now. this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night"!
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night," everybody. please give it up for the 8g band, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] also, very excited about this. sitting in with the great 8g band all week from one of my favorite bands, wilco, glenn kotche is here. glenn, thank you. >> nice to be here. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: "star wars," wilco's album released last year, not a tie-in, is nominated for a grammy in the best alternative album category. in the first week of february, you can catch glenn and the band at a series of sold out shows at brooklyn's kings theatre and also portchester's capitol theatre. thank you so much for being here, glenn. looking forward to the whole week. [ cheers and applause ] now, are you guys familiar with these dog-shaming websites? what it is, is people, what they'll do is take a picture of their dog looking guilty next to a little sign that says what the dog did. here's an example. i like to hide tennis balls around the house. pretty cutut right? nears another one. i ate my daddy's wooden furniture. adorable. but these are all minor offenses, after searching on the
featuring dogs that have done much, much worse things. we would like to show it to you now in a segment we call "extreme dog-shaming." [ applause ] >> seth: extreme, indeed. let's take a look at our first dog. aw, it's is a cute little guy. what could he have done. i stand kind of to the side at starbucks so you can't tell if i'm in line or not. [ laughter ] bad dog. who is next? oh, i like this guy. no way he was a bad boy. my e-mail signature is "live, laugh, love." [ laughter ] i don't even, ugh. who is next? aw, he couldn't have done anything too bad. when there are three urinals, i take the middle one. [ laughter ] and for the ladies in the house, that's a huge bummer. [ laughter ] who is next? oh, too cute. that's all anyone can say.
[ laughter ] oh, bad dog. who is next? oh, what an adorable puppers. i change my kid's diaper on restaurant tables. there is a whole station for that. [ light laughter ] bad dog. who is next? this guy is adorable. i watch porn on my ipad when i ride the subway. [ laughter ] bad dog! also, there is no signal down there. that means you download it in advance. who do we have next? oh, what a pretty pooch. what could she have done. my owner wouldn't let me go outside, so i took over a federal building in oregon. [ laughter ] what are you trying to prove? who is next? aw! that is all i can say. aw.
i hate movie-spoilers. that's actually not bad. oh, wait, there's more. like when a guy told me matt damon gets off mars. [ laughter ] come on! true story. earlier today, we were going to put a "star wars" spoiler on that, but we realized it was too big of a bummer and the audience would hate us. [ laughter ] but somebody died. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] could be anybody. could be anybody. but if you haven't seen it, and i figure there's only about six of you, just know when you're watching it, somebody gonna die. [ laughter ] maybe it's one of the new people. [ laughter ] who do we have next? aw! what could they have done? i'm going act distant until this bitch breaks up with me. [ laughter ] my gosh. who is the next pooch taking the
oh! what could this little guy have done? uck. [ cheers and applause ] who do we have next? oh, i like him. i'm working on el chapo's next escape tunnel. come on! [ cheers and applause ] he doesn't need your help. who is next? oh, wait a minute! this is my dog, frisbee. frisbee, what did you do? i go to sleep right at 12:34 a.m. [ laughter ] frisbee, i'm going win you over some day. that was "extreme dog-shaming." we'll be right back with more "late night."
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>> seth: our first guest is the new host of "the daily show" on comedy central. please welcome to "late night", trevor noah. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you? >> i'm great! thank you very much! >> seth: so happy you're here. >> thanks so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and extra thanks, because you, of course, you've done a show tonight. you just finished filming and you came over here. >> i'm not used to sitting on couches. i just realized this. >> seth: yeah, once you get on this -- once you sit in the chair -- >> you can't sit on a couch anymore. >> seth: those are terrible. >> this is not -- but this is nice. this is nice. thanks for having me. >> seth: thank you. thanks for opening with a criticism of our chairs. [ laughter ] >> well, i criticize couches in general. >> seth: exactly. how are you -- do you like the greeting of the guests and walking over? it took me a long time to figure out how to sit, when to sit. >> i didn't know you're not supposed to sit before the person sits. i didn't know that. >> seth: i didn't either. >> oh, did you also make that mistake? >> seth: i made that mistake as well.
like, "hey, african! [ laughter ] in this country, the guest sits first." and i was like, "in my country, we don't have chairs." [ laughter ] balanced it out. >> seth: that is a nice balance. i wanna talk -- i'm so glad we're talking about sitting and standing, because your first show after the new year, i noticed a change in your show. you've been standing a little more -- >> yes, yeah. >> seth: at the top of the show. >> yeah, i stood, which is weird. why do people look at these things? it's a very -- >> seth: well, i made the decision to start sitting down and it was the biggest news on earth. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, well, not the biggest. >> seth: not the biggest news on earth. >> it was big news. >> seth: it was big news. people paid more attention to it, certainly, than i had any expectations they would. >> well, you look good. i think that's what it was. people were just like, "wow, did you see his face?" [ light laughter ] that's what it was. >> seth: i get a very nice reflection off the cedar. >> no, i just decided to -- i was like, i can stand, i can sit. i mean, for 10, 11 years, i've been standing, telling people jokes. so, i mean, there's no reason i can't stand and do that on a show. and then people are like, "why did you stand?" >> seth: yeah. >> and i'm like, "because i can?"
but i mean, i like you sitting or standing. you look good either way. >> seth: thank you very much. >> you have nice legs. i have a nice face. >> seth: thank you. the middle. it's everything between my legs and face -- [ laughter ] is a car crash. >> i didn't want to say anything. >> seth: you mentioned you've been doing it 10, 11 years as a stand-up. >> yeah. >> seth: you are an incredibly successful stand-up. you've played huge rooms. i can not believe -- this is the first i heard of this today. your parents have never seen you perform, is this true? >> no, no. my parents refuse to watch me perform. not that i've tried to force them. no, my -- like my mom doesn't want to come, because she is just like, "i'll get jealous." she says, "i want private jokes." so one day -- because someone made me feel bad. they're like, "hey, why doesn't your mom come to your shows?" i i id, "because she doesn't want to come." and they're like, "that's a strange family. you need to talk to her." so i said, "hey, mom, why don't you come to my show?" my mom was like, "why?" [ laughter ] i said, "to watch me." and she said, "i can watch you at home." [ laughter ] i said, "but i tell jokes." she's like, "so then stop telling jokes at home." [ laughter ] she was like, "i want private jokes." i understood whahashe was
and then my dad, he's swiss-german, and he just thinks stand-up comedy is a lie. so -- [ light laughter ] no, he's really efficient. so he goes, "i don't like what you're doing." he goes, "you're lying." so i say, "what do you mean?" he says, "you weren't there last week." so i said, "well, that's just how we set up jokes. we say 'last week i was there.'" and he's like, "no, no, no. [ laughter ] you weren't there, you don't say it. that's lying." [ laughter ] i'm like, "okay." >> seth: i like that he wants you to say, "47 days ago, i was at a starbucks." >> yeah. so -- but it's not a big deal, you know? >> seth: you -- you are obviously interviewing people now. i had never done it before i started doing this. you had a radio show in south africa. so, you'd interview people there. was that helpful at all when you transitioned? >> well, i mean, you're very kind. i was on -- i was on a radio show at 3:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. on the weekend. [ laughter ] that's not having a radio show. that's being in a radio station when no one else is around. >> seth: yeah, on the weekend, especially. you're not like at the club and people are like, "let's put on some talk radio!" >> no, i literally knew -- some of my links were to tell people,
please stop driving right now. and i knew all my listeners by name. i was like, "let me take some calls." and then it would be like, "oh, hello, david." [ laughter ] "so, as i said yesterday" -- "yes, david, yes, yes." [ light laughter ] so, it was like, i didn't have a radio show. so, i had no guests. >> seth: got it. >> coming out here was the first time i had like -- especially a-list guests. because in south africa, i had a talk show, but then -- this was the craziest thing. we set up the show and we were like, "we should get everyone. let's get all the celebrities in the world." so, first we were like, we're going to get denzel washington. so we phone his people in america, and we're like, "we're getting denzel." and the people said, "yeah, we'd love to do your show." and we were like, "this is exciting." and then the week we're getting ready to do the show, i asked my guest booker, i was like, "okay, so when does denzel get in?" they phoned his people and then his people were like, "what do you mean when does he get in? get in where?" and we're like, "to south africa." and they're like, "whoa, we thought you were in l.a." [ light laughter ] and we were like, "why would an african show be in l.a.?" and they're like, "why are you doing shows in africa?" [ laughter ] and then we scratched all the guests off and then we just had, like, no guests. >> seth: you were calling your
"i'd like to meet you in person." >> "hey, dave." >> seth: this is a fun time to be doing the kind of shows we do. >> yes. >> seth: because it's an election season. this is your first election season. >> this is. this is. >> seth: how are you taking to it? >> this is fantastic. i mean, i thought it was going to be serious and a lot of analysis, and -- [ laughter ] i did. i did. that's what -- i thought i was like, oh, i'm getting ready. so i was like, okay, read up on this stuff, and what is a caucus and the house of representatives and then the bill -- and then it's just people going, "muslims, go home!" [ laughter ] and you're like, "oh, i understand that. that's simple." so it's a nice -- it's a beginner's guide to american politics. >> seth: right. >> i like that. >> seth: when you nail this -- well, there is no advanced guide to american politics. you have to go to another country, i think, to follow. >> yeah. >> seth: i want to ask, actually, because you mentioned about, like, boning up. do you feel -- when you have a week off from your show, when you have a hiatus, do you feel the relief of not having to follow the day-to-day news? or do you still feel -- because
pressure of like, am i just going to shut it down for a week? or am i going keep enough of a toe in the water to be able to come back on monday? >> i don't know. i don't -- i think i still follow the news. i don't think of it like that. i just don't think of what i think about the news on off days. >> seth: right. >> so when you're working, you're like, "this happened. how do i feel?" and then on another day, you're just like, "eh." [ light laughter ] >> seth: right. it's nice. on an off week it's really nice to be like, "oh, terrible things are happening and i don't have to say anything about it." >> absolutely nothing. i feel like an off-duty policeman. oh, look at that guy run. [ laughter ] >> seth: not my job. >> yeah. >> seth: so obviously -- do you have a favorite candidate so far? is there anybody you're drawn to? >> my favorite candidate is ben carson. >> seth: uh-huh. >> i mean, he's going to be out soon. did someone "woo" for real? [ laughter ] i thought someone wooed and then -- woo-ah, wrong place. wrong place. >> seth: aw, misread -- >> dammit! >> seth: misread the room! >> that's such a weird "woo." everybody! no, ben carson has been my favorite, just because of how --
him. trump is trump. weweet it. >> seth: yeah. >> but ben carson is layered. he's like a man of mystery. he's like -- you know, he's got a dangerous side that maybe didn't actually happen, which is even more dangerous. [ light laughter ] and then like you've got -- i just -- he just has -- and he's chilled. i like that. on top of everything, he's just like, "ah." [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. you really get the sense watching him, he doesn't really care. he might not -- he might forget to tell us he drops out. [ laughter ] >> i don't think he'll -- i think he won't drop out, but we won't know that he's still in the race. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> like he'll still be walking around going, "and my plan" -- [ laughter ] and people will be like, "yo, what do you want? just order the food." "oh, can i have" -- we won't even know that he's dropped out. >> seth: a very awkward moment in the inauguration for whoever it is, where you'll see, in the background, someone explaining to ben carson, it's over, it's not you. they went a different way. [ laughter ] >> then he'll be like, "oh, oh."
following jon stewart. on the show. because i know the staff, a lot of the staff is the same. >> seth: obviously same what was it like having him back >> it's -- wow. it's like jon stewart coming back was like -- it's like having your parents come to your house after you already moved out. like you feel like, "yeah, i'm grown up. i can do whatever i want!" and then you're like, "oh, mom's coming." and you're like, "oh, put that away. put that away." [ laughter ] and you're like just trying to tidy up. i don't know if that's supposed to be there. you just panic. jon stewart is coming. jon stewart is coming. and he's just chilled out. he was like, "oh, i like this here." >> seth: yeah. he's retired police officer. even better than off-duty. >> so it was fun, though. it was -- we always have a lot that's how we got into the show together. but the panic is still in the room. like, oh, i hope we're doing it right. and he's just like, "i don't care." [ laughter ]
i feel like -- i just want to say, you're doing a hell of a job, and they made a fantastic choice. >> thank you so much. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: trevor noah, everybody! new episodes of "the daily show" air monday through thursday night on comedy central. we'll be right back with david cross. [ cheers and applause ] lease a 2016 lincoln mkx for $399 a month only at your lincoln dealer. if you're trying to be a little better... things just got a whole lot better. introducing entrees loaded with flavor, not calories. applebee's grill & bar favorites made a little better for you. featuring new dishes,
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need an internet that can do more. we do more games, and more streaming. so we need more speed. that's why we switched to time warner cable. now we can connect more devices, at the same time. hi grandma and grandpa! ha, look at that! [laughs] time warner cable even has an internet plan for us. get the speed you need. internet plans start as low as $14.99 per month. call 1-855-want twc. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. our next guest is an
>> i learned tonight that he can't sit down until i sit. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you? >> i'm good, man. how you doing? >eth: it's been a while. i feel like i haven't seen you in a while. [ laughter ] >> it has been a while. yeah. >> do you mind if i -- what happens if i just do this? >> seth: you can do that, but i have to match it. >> all right. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] very good. yeah. >> seth: so "todd margaret." >> yeah. >> seth: back for season three. >> yep. >> seth "todd margaret", you shoot the show in the u.k. [ light laughter ] >> uh-huh. >> seth: how are tv shows different shooting in england versus here? >> um, the -- [ laughter ]
but it's not. and i'll explain what it is. but people don't work as hard over there. [ light laughter ] i should say, they're not used to working as hard as we do. where, you know, on a show here in the states, you work, you know, minimum 12 hours. if not 14, 15 hours. and when we first went over there and we're trying to work past 10 hours, people are like, "what?" you know. but having said that, they -- i can't say enough good things about the cast and crew. everybody -- nobody bitched about it. everybody got, oh, they're americans, they work hder. that's why their country is way more successful than ours. [ laughter ] and -- >> seth: but then they'll now want to put in the extra effort. >> i was inferring that. i guess i was inferring that. no, they will put in the extra effort. that's what i'm saying. they will and they do. but you can tell, they're just not used to it. >> seth: i wanna -- you really
[ laughter ] this is a great wig that you have this year. >> oh, thank you. >> seth: this is new. this is the season three look. because you did not look this way in the first couple seasons. >> this -- [ light laughter ] yeah, the wig is human hair. it's all human hair, very expensive chinese prison human hair. >> seth: gotcha. [ laughter ] now, i'm sorry, is the prisoner putting the wig together or -- >> no, it's their hair. >> seth: their hair. okay, gotcha. >> and this, goatee is all my own ass hair. >> seth: wow! [ laughter ] >> yeah. which isn't -- that's not something i wanted, but the cast wanted that. so -- >> seth: oh, wow. >> yeah. >> seth: that's great. so you were aware -- you were aware it was happening. how do they harvest it? [ light laughter ] >> well, i go under water. i go under water for ten days. >> seth: okay. >> which helps make it -- yeah, it's sea water, and it m mes it more luxurious and it gets nutrients. and i'm brushed along the barrier reef. i go this way and that way. [ laughter ] and it makes it more refined and
>> seth: well, it's worth it. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: it really paid off. >> it used up most of our budget, but yeah, i think it was worth it. >> seth: i'm very excited about this, because i knew you first from "mr. show", one of the great all-time sketch shows. but i've also seen you perform stand-up. and you're back doing stand-up again. you're on tour. >> yeah. >> seth: exciting? >> yeah, very exciting. yeah, about to go -- first tour in six years. and doing -- you know, usually when i've gone out before, it's kind of, you know, 25, 30 cities. but now i'm going to a lot of kind of smaller places. where people don't have to drive four or five hours to see me. i'll drive to them. and i'm -- and those are always really fun. >> seth: you -- you directed a film. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: that you raised the money on kickstarter. and talking about going to smaller places, you really, like, really showed up for peoplele >> yeah, yeah. well, we raised money to distribute it. >> seth: okay. >> i -- we got financing prior to that. but i just didn't want to send
indie movie, where it plays in new york and l.a. for a week and then it just goes on to netflix. and so we raised money to distribute it, and go to towns i had never even heard of, you know. and then i did some surprise guest -- >> seth: so like if you, basically donated money to the kickstarter, you would come and perform in people's house? >> this would not -- not for everybody. [ light laughter ] >> seth: but you did do that. >> i did do that. that was one of the prizes was i went to -- it happened that the guy who bid d s from edmonton, so i went to edmonton, which has no direct flight. [ laughter ] and it was awesome. it was really fun. and it was this guy and maybe 40 to 50 people in this punk band. and a bunch of folks. and then ted leo, i don't know if you know ted leo -- >> seth: yeah. >> was there.
and i read from "the vagina monologues" in this guy's house. [ laughter ] >> seth: wow. >> yeah. >> seth: so he just invited friends over to his house and said, "hey, david cross came to my house and he's going to read from 'the vagina monologues'?" [ laughter ] >> he didn't use past tense. he used present tense. [ light laughter ] >> seth: obviously, that would be -- >> it would be weird. see? see what happens when you don't use your right grammar? >> seth: yeah, exactly. well, i have to be honest, i'm focusing less on my grammar and more on the intense core workout it's taking to remain on this swivel chair. [ laughter and applause ] >> how you doing? >> seth: i'm good. i'm really good. [ cheers and applause ] >> would you like me to mix it up? >> seth: yeah, let's do one more. >> yeah, all right. [ laughter ] all right. >> seth: so, um -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
"mr. show." obviously, we mentioned it earlier. >> yep, yep. >> seth: and this year you returned to do a sketch show on netflix. >> yep. >> seth: 16 years? has it been 16 years? >> since the last "mr. show", yeah. >> seth: what have you -- what lessons -- what was different doing a sketch show 16 years later? >> well, we're all fatter. no. [ laughter ] we're all -- definitely wiser in how to write sketches, and don't -- are quicker to let stuff go. we're not as precious with our stuff anymore. but the main thing that we learned, specifically, bob and i, is we're producing. so all the sketches that we wrote when we were kids, seemingly, and going like -- "yeah, then a helicopter, uh, comes and picks them up by, you know, a crane." and they're like, "how are we going to do that?" "i don't know, you're the
you figure it out!" now we're on that side, so we're telling anybody like, "yeah, no, you can't have a helicopter." you know? [ laughter ] >> seth: also, do you think i'll ever lose my virginity? [ laughter ] >> um, which counselor do you like again? [ light laughter ] >> seth: everybody give it up for david cross! [ cheers and applause ] the last three episodes of "todd margaret" air this thursday on ifc. for information about david's stand-up tour, visit davidcrosstour2016.com. we'll be right back with music from x ambassadors. [ cheers and applause ] dear, why don't we switch to directv? now mother, we are settlers. i've settled for cable all my life. but directv has been number one in customer satisfaction over cable for 15 years. we find our satisfaction elsewhere. the boy has his stick and hoop. the girl - her faceless doll.
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