tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC January 4, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am EST
>> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- kobe bryant. khloe kardashian. and music from prophets of rage. and now, and furthermore, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice, thank you. very kind. hi, everyone. sit, sit, it's embarrassing. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for
thank you for coming and standing. very nice, i appreciate -- you're just happy you're not on the east coast, is that what it is? [ laughter ] it's freezing in a lot of the country. it is colder than melania's side of the bed on the east coast right now. [ laughter ] there is a winter storm the likes of which have not been seen since the last episode of "game of thrones" happening right now. thousands of flights were canceled today. thousands of homes are without power. all because of a phenomenon called bombogenesis, which happens to be my favorite phil collins cover laband. [ laughter ] "must be some misunderstanding," they really kill it. i don't know how we've gone all this time without hearing bombogenesis, i think meteorologists are making words up to see if we notice. parts of new england are said for colder than materials the planet. boston is expected to get 18 inches of snow. the schools there were closed
but football practice wasn't. this is what the new england patriots, for real, had to endure this afternoon. that's new england patriots practice today. >> no days off! no days off! no days off! >> jimmy: no days off? how about one day off? i mean, come on. [ laughter ] they're not even playing sunday, they have a bye week. if they went people would be like, that's why they won. really it's like, that's why damarius got pneumonia, no days off. the worst job to have this time of year is local news reporter. because unless you're in the studio they stick you in a blizzard to show everybody how cold it is. in new york tracy strahan was none too happy about it. >> a lot of places decided to close up. county courts closed today. a lot of the usual convenience stores and restaurants where people would be right now for their morning commute, they are sh
not a soul to be seen. we do see somebody in front of our favorite coffee store that i won't name. are you going to open today or what? we've been waiting since 5:00 in the morning! you don't? well, get somebody that does. he doesn't work there but he says he's going to be on it for us. >> jimmy: all right, all right, get tracy a cup of coffee and a sandwich. [ cheers and applause ] one of the things that happens in that kind of weather is people go outside with a cup of water and throw the water in the air and watch it freeze. like this. >> oh ho ho, wow! >> jimmy: that one's in slow motion. it's fun and it's kind of beautiful, really. but we don't get to do that here ever because it isn't freezing. it was 72 degrees here in l.a. today. and i was starting to feel kind of cheated. so this afternoon i sent my cousin sal out to the front of our building to throw some cups of wate
wouldn't you know it, while he was throwing the water, members of our staff happened, just happened to be walking out the door. >> sal: come on, freeze! come on freeze, water! it's not freezing, i know, it's upsetting to me too. and, freeze! >> [ bleep ]. >> sal: i'm sorry. >> what the [ bleep ]? sorry, i didn't mean to cuss. >> sal: it's not freezing. this water sucks. and, freeze! oh, it's not freezing. oh, sorry, garrick. sorry, stop, this is your bank! freeze, water. that's not how it's supposed to play. >> jimmy: well done, sal, and
sarah too. [ cheers and applause ] we have a top-notch show. the great lake of kobe bryant is here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and boos ] >> jimmy: like most of the lakers, kobe isn't playing this season. [ laughter ] but both his jersey numbers retired. 8 and 24. which is also the lakers' record right now. [ laughter ] also tonight, khloe kardashian is here. [ cheers and applause ] she is the third installment in the kardashian trilogy. music from prophets of rage. whose rage cannot match that of donald trump right now. thanks to -- i don't know if you know about this new book. it's called "fire and fury." it is highlighted by serious accusations made by his former senior adviser steve bannon. in the book bannon says trump's son don jr. was treasonous and unpatriotic, he implies trump's son-in-law jared is a money launderer, and says his daughter ivanka is dumb as a brick. which of course disple
president. so yesterday he fired back and then his lawyers sent bannon a cease and desist letter. bannon tried to do some damage control on his radio show. he called the president a great man. here's how that went over this morning. >> thank you all very much. thank you. [ shouted questions from reporterepor reporters ] >> thank you very much. i don't know, he called me a great man last night, he obviously changed his tune pretty quick. thank you all very much. thank you. i don't talk to him. i don't talk to him. that's just a misnomer. thank you. >> jimmy: look at that face. he is like an orangutan sucking on a lemon. [ laughter ] but this is quite a battle, bannon versus trump. it's bringing back some of the ghosts of trump's mispast. none other than anthony scaramucci has been making the rounds to try unsuccessfully to kind of draw a happy face on this whole thing. >> there are many different factions inside the republican party. some of us have different ph
personal views towards each other. but let's subordinate all that nonsense and work for the president and knock it off. >> anthony, you said six months ago that you think steve bannon tries to suck his own penis. now you're saying he should get on board, get on the team? >> so let's talk about that. because you want to bring that up. it's nbc, my favorite network -- >> jimmy: well, don't take it personally, she asks every guest that question. [ laughter ] he's the gift that keeps on mooching. trump's lawyers also sent a cease and desist to the author and publisher of the book. the letter that accuses michael wolff of defamation by libel, defamation by libel per se, false light invasion of privacy, to toretious interference, breach of contract, which are legal terms for wah, wah, stop saying mean things about me. trump was angry a-level stars didn't come to his inauguration. he repeats the
and over, sometime in the span of ten minutes. he had three tv screens installed in his bedroom so he could sit there and eat cheeseburgers in bed and watch tv. it says jarred and ivanka made a deal she would run for president after his father. almost everyone trump hired called him stupid. rex tillerson called him a mo n moron. h.r. mcmaster called him a hopeless idiot. this was posted by katy tour from nbc. this is from the book. trump liked to say one of the things that made life living was getting your friends' wives into bed. in pursuing a friend's wife he'd try to persuade the wife her husband was not what he thought, ask the secretary to ask the friend in his office, once the friend would arrive he would engage in what was for him more or less constant sexual banter. do you like having sex with your wife? how often? you must have a better f than your wife, tell me about it, i have girls coming in from l.a.
all the while trump would have his friend's wife on the speakerphone listening in to this, like "fifty shades of orange" or something. these are his friends. no wonder his only friends "fox and friends." who does that to their friends? the white house is saying none of this is true, it's a fabrication by a tabloid writer. here's the thing, they let this writer, michael wolff, into the white house, he was there all the time. he claims he conducted over 200 interviews. one of the last things he wrote, rupert murdoch ripped to shreds. why did these idiots let him in the white house in the first place? that alone indicates poor decision-making. the publisher is moving the publication date up to tomorrow because of the cease and detest. if you don't want people to read a book about you, why would you take legal action to try to stop people from reading the book about you? i wasn't going to buy the book, i was just going to read the excerpts in magazines and move on. but now that trump's lawyers are going all-out to try to stop it from being published,
20 copies. [ laughter ] i can't buy enough of the books. [ cheers and applause ] i'll buy for my parents, my in-laws, my cousins. i'm going to walk up and down my block stuffing books into my neighbors' mail boxes. threatening the writer with legal action is literally the dumbest move you can make if you want to keep on it the downlow. the book went from 48,000 on amazon straight to number one. [ laughter ] which is crazy. unless, stay with me on this, unless, maybe, donald trump really is the great businessman he says he is and he's getting a cut of the book. maybe he's the ghost. maybe he helped write "fire and fury." or more likely he's just dumb and everyone around him is dumb. [ laughter ] this book claims trump is losing it and a group of lawmakers brought a psychiatrist in to discuss his mental capacity. they say he can't even recognize old friends. i have to say i have noticed that trump does sometimes have trouble finding his friends. >> where's harry? where's harry?
harry! where's richard? where's kip? where's brock? there's nick? where's ben? where's chris? where's jack? where's mike? where's ray? where's pat? where's dan? where's mickey? where's chris? where's matt? where's lou? where's susie? where's jessica? where's steve? where's aaron? where's john? where's billy? vice president, great job. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here's another coincidence i find interesting. it's girl scout cookie season. every year three days after we resolve to lose weight, girl scout cookie season comes. stay with me on this. the attorney general jeff sessions today announced he has rescinded something called the cole memo, policy from the obama administration that discouraged federal prosecutors from pursuing charges against the sale of marijuana in states where the stale of marijuana is legal. the states make it legal, the fbi leaves them
that now. so the feds will be prosecuting in states where marijuana is legal again. and no one can figure out why he's doing this. with all that's going on, this is like locking someone up for retransmitting baseball games without the consent of major league baseball. it's very minor. but something about it seemed fishy and i want to connect the dots for you to tell you what's really going on here. okay? follow me over here. all right. now up on the wall. fact. jeff sessions, the attorney general, wants to jail marijuana users. what do people get when they smoke marijuana? the munchies. what is the best snack when you have the munchies? cookies. now, who makes the best cookies? the girl scouts. and when does girl scout cookie season start? january. which based on my research is the same month we're in right now. so jeff sessions wants to stop people from smoking pot in
which would result in fewer people eating thin mints, tag-a-longs, do-si-dos, which hurts profits and who profits from hurting the girl scouts? big cookie companies like keebler. why would jeff sessions want to hurt the girl scouts and help keebler? because jeff sessions is a dirty little keebler elf! that's why. [ cheers and applause ] jeff, if you're listening with those pointy little ears from that hollowed-out free you live in, know this. we are on to you and we will smoke you out of that tree if we have to. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. we have a good show tonight. tonight on the show music from prophets of rage, khloe kardashian is here. and we'll be right back with kobe bryant. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: welcome back to our show. tonight, she has a show on e! it is her 117th show on e! it's called "revenge body with khloe kardashian." she's here and she's pregnant, so i'll be asking questions for two. then, this is their self-titled album, prophets of rage from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. tomorrow night we have a new show with armie hammer, jason clarke and music from they. so please join us then. last month at staples center, our first guest was honored by his team with not one but two retired numbers. he is a playmaker turned filmmaker with a new
from your los angeles lakers, please welcome five-time nba champion, #8 and #24, kobe bryant. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> all right. >> jimmy: wow. >> well. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, i have to say, i don't know what's going on but you've really let yourself go, i mean, you're a mess. look at you. how are you doing? how's retirement going? >> it's good, i'm enjoying it. >> jimmy: you don't get bored or anything like that? >> no, i don't get bored at all. it's fun now to be able to control your own schedule in a sense. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> be home for christmas. >> jimmy: you don't miss showering with the other guys? [ laughter ] >> yeah, no. not so much. would you? >> jimmy: i don't know, never really had that experience.
[ laughter ] guillermo, we should try it sometime after the show. >> guillermo: sure, yeah, whatever you say. >> jimmy: are you still -- i remember you used to fly your helicopter from home to the staple centers. >> i still fly it, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: are you flying it by yourself now? >> dude, no. [ laughter ] >> no, i don't trust myself behind the wheel of a car let alone a helicopter. that's hollywood as i get. i don't come to l.a. if i don't have the mamba chopper. 405 and me don't get along. >> jimmy: that's interesting. do you take the kids to school in the helicopter? >> yeah, no. [ laughter ] no, yeah i drop them at school every morning, though. >> jimmy: did you enjoy your retirement ceremony or was it weird for you? >> it was awesome. you know, i got a chance to see a bunch of the players that i played with before. >> jimmy: guys came out. >> guys came out. >> jimmy: said some very nice things also. >> it was pretty cool, man. having my kids there, having my wife there, baby bianca, who was asleep when
pushing her in the stroller. for her to be in that environment, not that she'll ever remember any of it. but the fact that she got a chance to kind of participate in that is pretty sweet. >> jimmy: it would be a little bit strange if you looked back on that stuff and she wasn't in it, as a teenager. how about your older daughters? are they impressed -- were they impressed by all the love and admiration that rained down on you there? >> i think so. they'll never let me know it. >> jimmy: they don't ac knowled acknowledge it, yeah. >> thinking about what i'm going to say. >> jimmy: right. >> i figured at this moment in time is when i have their undivided attention, speaking of my two daughters, 14 and 11. if i'm at home and talking to them, they're not going to listen to a word i have to say. now in front of thousands of people, they have to pay attention. >> jimmy: sure. >> so therefore i'm going to talk to them about hard work. and they can't just roll their eyes at me, right? so i have their undivided attention. so i stole that moment to teach them something. but they could care less. adam levine, kendrick lamar, they're like, this night is awesome.
celebrities they admire come up to you and speak to you? >> god, yeah. >> jimmy: who's the best one, the one that was most impressive to them? >> taylor swift. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, right. >> vin diesel. >> jimmy: really, the kids like vin diesel? >> "the fast and the furious." >> jimmy: really, wow. >> so that was pretty awesome. >> jimmy: yeah, that's pretty good. >> i got major cool points for a good two months off of that. beyonce is the best one. >> jimmy: beyonce? >> hands down. >> jimmy: did she say anything to the kids? >> yeah, well -- like i'm always trying to teach lessons to the kids. again, they never listen to me. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> we went to go see beyonce in concert, went backstage, said hello to her in stuff. i said, amazing, still killing it. she said, yeah, i learned from you. i looked at the kids like, dude. mamba mentality, dude, come on. >> jimmy: if that doesn't make an impression, what's going to? >> like now you have to listen to me. >> jimmy: your idol growing up was magic johnson, a
then you get to know magic as an owner of the team. magic said, and shaquille o'neal with whom you've had an up and down relationship said, that you are the greatest laker of all-time. do you agree with that? and what does that mean to you? >> well, i'll never disagree with my elders. [ laughter ] no, i'm kidding. kidding. i grew up watching magic. i've had, you know -- i've learned so much from him. i can't sit her and be like, i'm the greatest laker ever. to me he is. >> jimmy: you're the greatest laker. >> to keep it real with you, i've stolen so much from him that my game wouldn't be complete without him. >> jimmy: i was thinking about this today. your numbers, 8 and 24, which first of all -- i wonder, i know in basketball, no single team has ever retired two numbers. but i wonder if it's happened in any sport at all. do you have any idea? >> i have no idea. >> jimmy: i don't think it has. i looked it up and tried to figure it
number, 32, is that a coincidence? >> wow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, i think probably it is based on your reaction. this is the first you're hearing it. >> i'm just marveling at the depth. of the observation. >> jimmy: right, see, one of the great things about me is i can add. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> who knew? >> jimmy: i didn't know. >> congratulations. >> jimmy: it just popped in my head. do you have friends? do you have like guys you hang out with? >> do i have friends? no, i have no friends at all. >> jimmy: is that true? >> no, zero. i hate people. >> jimmy: is michael jordan a friend of yours? >> he's a good mentor, like a big brother. >> he is, okay. how regularly will you speak to michael snrchgts i don't know, every once in a while. >> jimmy: every once in a while. will smith was here a few weeks ago. he was talking about michael, how he constantly wants to compete when it comes to everything. >> all the time. >> jimmy: literally everything. does he do that with you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: he does. >> he tries, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what things does h
>> i don't know. the last time we had dinner, he was talking about, you know, my year in 1991 versus your peak year, i would have kicked your ass. i said, mike, come on now, please. enjoy the salad. [ laughter ] we both know that's not going to happen. >> jimmy: when you and michael went to dinner who picked up the check at the end? >> he does, big brother. big brother always picks it up. >> jimmy: is that how it works? >> that's how it works. >> jimmy: company you talk to any of the young guys on the league? do you follow them? >> i follow them, rob is a close family friend, he and i talk all the time. i follow the young guys. >> jimmy: do you ever pick up the phone and call any of those guys? >> kuzma i'll speak to every now and then. they've got a bright future. you've got to be patient. last thing you want to do is break the team up, then four, five years from now look back and see how great they are someplace else. >> j
impatient because we're used to having great players like you, shalk, magic, kareem, all these guys, one after the other, den we can't understand it when they're suddenly low. >> we didn't come out winning championships. we were horrible. we were getting swept by the jazz, swept by the spurs, we stunk. >> jimmy: do you tell that to the players when you go into the locker room? >> i do, i tell them it's a process. ultimately you've got to go through it. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break, come back. you made this beautiful animated film that could potentially, i don't know, you might wind up with an oscar on your crowded shelf. kobe bryant is here. the movie called "dear basketball." we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ you are a city city wall, city wall ♪ ♪ ♪ she could be dancing down a hall, dancing down a hall ♪ ♪ we're turning heads, we're turning heads, ♪
♪ from the moment i started rolling my dad's tube socks, shooting imaginary game-winning starts in the great western forum, i knew one thing was real. i fell in love with you. >> jimmy: that is kobe bryant's "dear basketball." it is on verizon go 90. now -- first of all, the artwork is phenomenal. who did the artwork? >> glen keane, one of the greatest animators of all-time. he's done
"little mermaid" to "the lion king." >> jimmy: how did you hook up with glen? >> when i had the idea of turning this into an animated short, i called him. i was a big fan, i called him. >> jimmy: you liked his work from the movies he'd done. >> exactly. i knew i wanted it to be hand drawn. i wanted it to have that texture, that hand-drawn quality. >> jimmy: there's no substitute for that. it really does look hand-drawn. you can see that it is. >> he's an absolute genius. >> jimmy: and the soundtrack was done by john williams. >> yeah. >> jimmy: who is -- john is the most, really, famous composer in the movies. and how did you get john williams? >> i've known john since 2008. >> jimmy: you have. >> i have. we've had a relationship for a while. and i called him about the project. and he was just talking about how he's busy doing "star wars." >> jimmy: yeah. >> that thing, you know? >> jimmy: he carved a little time out of "star wars" for you? >> he said, i could take like two weeks. i'm like, yeah, tha
>> jimmy: you wrote this movie, it's about your love of -- is it about your love of the sport of basketball? or of basketballs themselves? [ laughter ] >> yeah. i think a little bit of both. >> jimmy: a little bit of both. >> one goes hand in hand with the other. so -- i used to sleep with my basketball. i used to lay down in bed. now i sound like a total geek. laugh live you first get a ball. it smells brand-new. >> jimmy: yeah. >> right, it's that moment. i used to lay in bed kind of like. >> jimmy: sleep with your basketball. i can understand that, that makes sense. >> it doesn't make sense, but i appreciate you, thank you. >> jimmy: you get to really -- you feel it. you understand. do you play ever anymore? >> i shoot around with my daughter quite a bit. >> jimmy: that's the extent? >> not actually playing, though. >> jimmy: do you coach your daughter, your daughter's teams. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what kind of coach are you when coaching kids? >> i'm yelling at them all the time. [ laughter ] no i'm very patient and calm. i take a lot after
i'm not -- i'm not bringing the sage to the game. >> jimmy: have any exteammates seen you coach your daughters? >> no. >> jimmy: i bet they'd get a good laugh. >> probably. i sent phil a couple of videos of the kids running the triangle offense. >> jimmy: really? running the triangle offense? >> they run the triangle offense. i sent it to phil and phil was like, oh my god, they're running it! yeah, i had a good teacher. >> jimmy: is there a lot of pressure on the kids to win? >> no. >> jimmy: what is your feeling on participation trophies? >> i hate them. [ laughter ] it's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard. >> jimmy: are they allowed in the house? >> the team that i coached last year played in a tournament. we played up. and we came in fifth place. and so, you know, it's okay, we did all right, we'll do better next time sort of thing. we're getting ready to leave, the tournament supervisor says, you have to stay, you guys get trophies. trophies for fifth place? what the hell is this? so he hands us the trophies. and the kids are all standing there with the trophies, comp
completely. i asked one of the kids, what are you going to do with that trophy? i'm going to break it! all right, everybody, bring it in, parents too, bring it in. i said, listen, none of us want this trophy, i get it. but don't break it. take it home. put it right there on your mantel in your room. every day look at that trophy and remind yourself what you'll never win again and use it that way. >> jimmy: remind yourself what was a loser you are. [ laughter ] >> that is exactly right. do i suck today? i will not suck tomorrow. >> jimmy: kobe bryant, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "dear basketball" is available now on verizon go ninety. we'll be right back with khloé kardashian. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you doing your taxes? oh... yeah. trying to sneak them in between set ups. why are you using turbotax? hm? well h&r block more zero lets you file online for free even if you itemize deductions. turbotax doesn't do that. oh man... at this point, it kind of just seems like you hate money.
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>> jimmy: how are you doing? you look great. how are you feeling? >> i feel good. >> jimmy: congratulations on the baby. >> thank you. >> jimmy: who do you call first when you find out you're pregnant, ryan seacrest? [ laughter ] >> he's my second call. first it was tristan. he kept saying, you're pregnant. and i was like, be quiet, i'm not pregnant. he kept -- i was nauseous, not feeling well. then he had to leave the country and i took a pregnancy test. and i was like, oh. i was like, screaming. it's so weird. so surreal. >> jimmy: how do you get a pregnancy test, go on amazon? i imagine people were following you everywhere. if you were in a drugstore getting a pregnancy test, we'd know something was going on. >> i had my trusty assistant do it. alexa, my assistant, tristan and i, we were the only ones who
knew, for a few weeks until i was able to tell my family. >> jimmy: you didn't tell your sisters? >> he was out of the country and we wanted to tell everyone together. it's all caught on "keeping up" which i'm excited about. they get to see the stuff i was going through without them knowing. >> jimmy: there were cameras present in your personal life to capture this? >> isn't that crazy. >> jimmy: i know you did it for the show. but it is kind of great to have that. because you do want to -- most people will set up their phone and tape it. but you have a full crew. the crew knew you were pregnant before your sister knew. >> yes. but i've known the crew since 2007. we've had pretty much the same crew. they've been involved in so much of the best and the worst. >> jimmy: and they keep quiet? >> they keep quiet. >> jimmy: your family now -- are you getting all kinds of advice from sisters and mom and all that stuff? >> yeah, and a lot of it is unwanted. >> jimmy: right, sure. who gives the worst and most annoying advice? >> i don't know if it's the worst. but k
advice. and i think it's so sweet. but i don't want to do some of that stuff. and it's like either you have to be like -- you can never have a plastic toy, ever! i'm like, if someone buys blo s [ bleep ] blocks i'm allowed to have blocks. let me experience things. it's either her way or no way. i'm trying to -- it's not what you say, it's how you say it. we've been fighting a lot lately. we never fight. >> jimmy: why is she against plastic in general? she doesn't want the kid touching plastic? >> touching, anything. she got pissed because i wanted to put the tv in the nursery. i haven't decorated the nursery, i only thing i wanted was a tv, i'm the worst person to want a tv. >> jimmy: you guys are on tv, you have to have a tv. >> when you're breastfeeding and whatever, i don't know. >> jimmy: you must have a television when you're breast-feeding. she doesn't have a television. >> she's crazy. >> jimmy: what would she do, sit there and stare at the wall? >> she thinks she's better than i because
much tv. but i like tv shows. >> jimmy: to watch television, yeah. you're going to need to keep busy. do you know where you'll have the baby? >> in cleveland. >> jimmy: in cleveland? >> yeah. >> jimmy: because tristan is there. have you guys figured out? he plays for the cavaliers. have you figured out, if he's got a game that night, will he miss the game? >> i don't know when i'm having the baby. it just kind of happens from what i hear. >> jimmy: have you said, you better be in that room when the baby comes, no matter what's going on? >> i haven't -- >> jimmy: is it up in the air? >> i haven't said that, i kind of assumed that was known. you have to say that? >> jimmy: yeah, a lot of athletes will not be there -- >> hell no. no, he has to be there. i already know my mom and everyone, which is great. i've been in the delivery room for all of their babies. >> jimmy: you have, all of them? >> all of them, i even witnessed kylie being born from my mom. so i was there. >> jimmy: how old were you at that time? >> i want to say 14 or 15. >> jimmy: wow, was that horrifying? >> horrifying. >> jimmy: for a teenager? >> as a teenager, i don't kno
kylie's born, my mom's holding this baby, and i was like, what the [ bleep ] is happening? there's another thing! no one tells a teenager there's -- you know. >> jimmy: even if you know the placenta's coming out, it's still a surprise. [ laughter ] >> oh, yeah, it's traumatizing. >> jimmy: not in a good way, yeah. >> no. i was like, okay. >> jimmy: will they all be in the room with you? >> you know, i think i have to talk to tris san about this. i know it's overwhelming. >> jimmy: we got to figure this out. who's first, mom? is she number one? >> yeah, mom. >> jimmy: and then? >> whoever won't annoy me. >> jimmy: whoever will annoy you the least? >> the least, yeah. whoever's the calmest i can deal with? they're all going to come to cleveland to be there at a moment's notice? >> watch out, ohio. >> jimmy: oh my god. all right, we're going to take a break, come back. khloe kardashian, a new show called "revenge body." we'll be right back.
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laying here so traffic can safely navigate around this broken-down rv. really? a road flare? it's my new year's resolution. now i'm all about safety and stuff. you're not even going to try to catch something on fire? no...no i'm not. i'm going to miss you, man. yeah. i'm going to miss me too. ♪ un poquito mas rapido, no? [instrumental music plays] [wheel squeaking] beautiful bike, just beautiful. ha,ha,ha. [pumping of bike tire] [pumping of hospital ventilator] [rain falling] [wheel squeaking] carlos! carlos! dr. brad needs to see you in room 3. [wheel squeaking] [heart monitor beeping] tell cardio right away i need a...
are pregnant and you have this show called "revenge body." what is the idea behind "revenge body"? >> i know the title can sound aggressive but it's a play, everyone would say to me, your best revenge is a good body. for me i was, okay, let me play with this. >> jimmy: i thought happiness was the best form of revenge. >> it's a good body. it's a good body. revenge body is all mind, body and soul. i work on people from the inside out and try to just put their lives back on track. some of the episodes are deep, some of these people have been either abused or whatever, they can't get out of this rut that they're in. i really just give them the tools to find the way. within their own environment. it's very realistic for them. >> jimmy: you bring in trainers, you bring in diet, all that kind of stuff? >> within their own lifestyles. they still have to go to work, live in their own house. i give them the training wheels and they have to do it on their own. >> jimmy: what percentage succeed? >> so far everyone has exceeded, excelled.
after the show. >> jimmy: do they go to their ex, look at my revenge body? >> that's exactly what they do, there's a reveal at the end, they all look really great and hot. >> jimmy: what does the ex do after they see, do they try to get back together with them or go, okay, i'm married now. [ laughter ] i don't know what you want from me. >> some of them try to get together but these people are so strong emotionally now that they don't take them back. so just getting their closure. some have been married, but the person that was seeking the revenge wanted to show them they could actually get out of this situation. >> jimmy: i see. so yeah, it's cathartic in a way. >> yes. >> jimmy: now that you're going to have a baby. in cleveland. will you -- have you gone shopping? did you register for baby stuff? or do you have it all? >> i haven't registered yet. no i don't have it all. i don't have -- there's so much crap to buy. >> jimmy: there's a lot of crap you have to have. don't get any plastic. if your child touches plastic! >> i know. >> jimmy: your child will disintegrate. >> i know. >> jimmy: i heard you
you wrote a poem about costco. >> i love costco. >> jimmy: do you love cost co? because i really love costco. [ cheers and applause ] how often do you go to costco? >> i don't get to go that often right now. my mom and i go together. we're like the first ones there at 6:00 a.m. when the doors open. we have our big trolley that we go -- >> jimmy: you have an executive membership? >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah, that's good -- >> don't talk to me about the executive membership. >> jimmy: what do you buy at costco? >> crap that none of us need. bulk cereal. i'm really there for the free tasters. >> jimmy: for the samples. >> yeah, i am. >> jimmy: you can get a lot of baby stuff there now too. >> i know. >> jimmy: diapers. >> i haven't gone since my situation. so i might -- >> jimmy: is that how you're referring to it, you're situation? >> my situation. since my situation. so -- i might go a little crazy in there. but it's the best store. >> jimmy: do you ever look at the costco sign and wish it started with a "k"? [ laughter ]
jenner, you never know when that will happen. >> jimmy: i wish you the best with the baby, you and tristan. the show is called "revenge body with khloe kardashian," airs sunday night at 10:00 on the e slam network. khloe kardashian! be right back with the prophets of rage. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to kobe and khloe, apologies to matt day money, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first this is their self-titled album. here with the song "legalize me," prophets of rage! ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ they smoke in colorado they smoke in cali too i smoked all night but that's alright ♪ ♪ i'll still fight back tomorrow if you come down to so-cal roll one maybe two ♪ ♪ fly to the bay come back to l.a we can medicate tomorrow ♪ ♪ get free get free come on legalize me get free get free yeah legalize me ♪ ♪ get free get free ah le
legalize me legalize me get free ♪ ♪ they smoke up in toronto they smoke in portland too they smoke all night and that's all right we'll fight for tomorrow ♪ ♪ get free get freedom on ♪ legalize me ♪ get free get free yeah legalize me get free get free ah legalize me ♪ ♪ legalize me legalize me get free alright alright alright ♪ ♪ alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright ♪ ♪ alright alright alright alright alright ♪ ♪ alright alright alright alright alright alright alright ♪ ♪ yo where those candles lit teenagers blown to bits i'm filling radio with hits prime nights at the ritz ♪ ♪ lawyers w
spinning ice balding tires silver spoons chicken pox ♪ ♪ at midnight we turn back the clocks feel the burn burn the fire ♪ ♪ make the moon realize it open eyes to land and skies with violence it's authorized turn tables apple pie ♪ ♪ uncrustables kentucky fried kill the lights out on the tide ♪ ♪ need no break legalize get free get free hey legalize me ♪ ♪ get free get free come on legalize me get free get free yeah legalize me ♪ ♪ legalize me legalize me get free get free get free legalize ♪ ♪ get free get free legalize ♪ ♪ get free get free legalize get free get free get free
get free get free get free ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ we want you to get up for this, come on! dance! ♪ ♪ ♪ living on the 110 four sharing one tent can't afford no rent ♪ ♪ forgotten by the government feels like a lifetime stuck and struck down ♪ ♪ waiting for the right time running out of luck now and it's damn shame ♪ ♪ see it from the fast lane living in the jungle tent city struggle ♪
the family camped out by the underpass ♪ ♪ you got your blinders on you want to hit the gas living on the 110 ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, inside waco. a fanatical leader with dozens of followers. >> he started purchasing huge amounts of weaponry, ammunition. >> in a 51-day standoff with federal agents. >> david, it is time to submit and surrender to the proper authorities. >> new details from inside the deadly siege. >> where are the kids, where are the kids? >> the kids should be the underground bus. the fbi said, we tear gassed that bus. >> authorities on the scene reliving the nightmare 25 years later. plus "molly's game." >> athletes, billionaires, that's the t