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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  March 18, 2016 12:35am-1:37am EDT

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if you're on the road and you can't check your news 6 weather app. we have you covered there too. you can get updates on one of our three partnering radio stations ment tom and troy bridges is pinpointing your weather. still ahead, an incredible story of survival, a dog lost at sea and thought to be dead has been found alive. where this german shepard was hanging for more than a month. plus a clerk grabbed the customer's baby right out of her arms. tonight, why people are calling her actions heroic. and here are tonight's winning lottery numbers.
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make today smile with 6 dunkin' donuts for $4.49, powdered with sugar, layered with frosting, filled with jelly, or topped with sprinkles. share some smiles with 6 donuts for $4.49 today.
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refresh yourself on the outside and inside with a revitalizing iced tea from dunkin' donuts. sip in any size iced tea for 99 cents today. america runs on dunkin'. caught on camera, a clerk jumping into action to help save a baby girl when her mom collapsed. rebecca was working behind the counter at a colorado convenience store. the mom grab ed the soft drink and proceeded to check out. >> she had a glazed look on her face. i knew something was wrong.
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started swaying and she decided to reach for the baby. at the same time she was trying to talk to the mom but the woman wouldn't say anything. then the woman collapsed. she was having a seize. she was now fine and so is her baby. thanks to that lady a. homeowner's controversial sign is raising eyebrows. the man that put it up says he's trying to send a political message of monkeying around in politics. a monkey in handcuffs with the words hillary 2016, hanging from a tree with a confederate flag. the man that put it up says it's just his displeasure for clinton. and now a dog that's back with its owner at sea. >> they found lube nah 80 miles off the coast of california. the 18 month old blue eyed german shepard was welcomed home
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it was five weeks ago while she disappeared on her owner's fishing boat. she vanished two miles off the naval facility. the owner looked for her about two days. he reported her missing to the navy and the coast guard began their search. >> we looked ways to for her and we did not find her. i think she was just down on the beach. and the coloring blends perfectly. five weeks later, the pup spotted on the main road on the island. she was flown to the air base, hungry, but otherwise healthy. and now the tail of how she survived will remain a mystery. if she had a go proon her color. >> that would be bondful. >> that is a beautiful dog. gorgeous dog. i love german shepards. they're tough dogs. >> they are. >> we had a terrific day.
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the first round a adam scott continues to play well.
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wendy hates dirty lawn furniture. that' s why she uses scotts outdoor cleaner plus oxi-clean. it cleans all of wendy' s lawn furniture without damaging any of wendy' s lawn. scotts. it' s good out here. (vo) making the most out of every mile. that's why i got a subaru impreza. love. it's what makes a subaru,
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i think maybe it's because of proximity, but rory caught what i have when it comes to golf. >> yeah, he didn't do so well. now importantly tom, not going to be a wash out this weekend. you might have to dodge some sprinkles. >> there'll be showers at times but they should be able to play. good. day one of the arnold palmer invitational in the books. it's already shaping up to be a really good weekend. the big names at the top of the leader board, except for rory
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want in the golf tournament. jason bay last year's winner at the championship ted off this afternoon, and he was well worth the follow today. bernie takes the lead at six under. adam scott, winner at his last two events continues to play well. he went off in the morning and set the early pace. scott fire it is 67. he's at five you were. now onto 18, jason day with a one shot lead. he got into some trouble on that hole. but umm, he ended up in the rough, he was able to save a car thanks to strong putting. he is the early leader at the arnold palmer invitation. ping caught up with day after his round. >> look at this golf course. but the conditions like this can get around like that, you had going. >> this golf course is usually pretty tough and, i mean, 600 is not a crazy load, i i'm glad i got that round in front of me. i wouldn't say i'm going to coast. i have to make sure i stay aggressive to our lines and make
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>> thats the name of the game. five including adam scott and hen rick sten son. ten more are at four under. biggest surprise of the day, was rory mcilroy. he was plus three today. he's tied for 100 seventh guys. he was ahead of just ten other players. so how are your ncaa tournament brackets today? there's a college kid in connecticut, there's five presidents -- 230 road scholars and 0 ncaa tournament wins until
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>> stephen: welcome to the late show! (cheers and applause) happy st. patrick's day, everyone. thank you so much! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: thank you, gentlemen. these fine gentlemen are the pipes and drums of the nypd emerald society. aren't they grand! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: thank you, gentlemen, thank you, gentlemen. honored to have you here. it with be a pleasure to be arrested by any of you. thank you so much. thank you, gentlemen.
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(cheers and applause) >> stephen: you guys, isn't that amazing. >> jon: i like that. >> stephen: you guys got to get a jazz bag pipe, that would be hot. >> jon: that would be nice, we could do amazing grace on it. >> stephen: that would be amazing. >> jon: yeah. (laughter). >> stephen: you know, st. patrick's day always makes me think of one of my favorite irish folksongs, danny boy. it's about a dying father saying good-bye to his son leaving home. you know, cuz-- please v a seat.
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the pipes are calling, from glen to glen and down the mountain side. summer's gone and all the roses dying. tis you, tis you must leave and i must bied that is truly the most upbeat section of the the entire song. that is the party in theu sa part of that song. because from there it gets really depressing. it goes, but come ye back and all the flowers are dying. and i am dead as dead i well may be. you come and find the place where i am lying and kneel and say an ave there for me. the father is telling his son, when you return home, i'm going to be dead. so please find my grave and pray because again, i'm going to be dead. but i don't understand why does the song have to be so sad. haven't the irish been through enough? the famine, wars, liam neeson's daughter repeatedly taken. so tonight in honor of
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world renowned irish tenor karl skully to perform a new version of danny boy. karl, please. (cheers and applause) karl skully, everybody. karl, thank you for being here. now and now ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, danny boy with a happy ending. o danny boy the pipes the pipes are calling from glen to glen and down the mountainside the summer's gone and all the roses falling
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must go and i must bide but come ye back and all the flowers are dying cryogenically frozeen my head will be you'llome and find that place where i am lying and just hit the button that will unfreeze me (cheers and applause) it's just a head so i will
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a young strong body if you find one 'twould be nice and if why i i would like a lady's body i' often wondered what a lady's body would be like and then i hope inside my female body a little baby will grow inside of me i hopee'll be a
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and when he's born i'll name the boy danny (cheers and applause). >> stephen: happy st. patrick's day, everybody. >> tonight, stephen welcomes william h. macy. actress melissa raush. and fashion designer icek
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featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now it's time for the late show with stephen colbert! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: thank you very much. unbelievable. thank you so much. please, thanks so much. oh my gosh, how beautiful was that song? was that not-- it can be a happy ending, can't it? >> i really had chills. >> stephen: yeah. at the end, you don't see that coming.
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i got a little-- i got a little teary at the end there, when there is a whole new danny coming. >> but i realize that guy could read a chili's menu and sing it and i would cry. >> stephen: absolutely. >> the song was beautiful. >> stephen: obviously the lyrics, a lot of it was in the lyrics. >> yeah. >> stephen: so beautiful. the irish, man, are you irish? >> i'm a quarter irish, yeah. >> stephen: which quarter? >> like the part that gave me acne for a long time. >> stephen: i'm 100% irish. well, you guys, how about the election, huh? it keeps getting weirder. looks like the gop is headed toward a brokered convention where the party bosses pick somebody other than trump or cruz. but who could it be?
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yeah, yeah, i know. but who could it be? jeb bush's name has been mentioned. followed by loud sobbing and the words leave me alone coming from the vicinity of florida. and you have to find a good compromise candidate. and there is an experienced party elder that everyone respects. it's john boehner. who thinks we should make paul ryan do it. (laughter) in fact, yesterday boehner said we don't have a nominee who can win a first ballot. i'm for none of the above. i'm for paul ryan to be our nominee. oh john boehner. paul ryan already got out of one sticky situation by agreeing to succeed you as speak are of the house when no one else wanted the job. paul ryan is your go to flunky for everything. >> sorry to cancel on your dinner party, you know who is great at eating food, paul ryan. hey, listen, buddy, hey, listen,
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look, buddy, i know i promised to help you move that water bed to your sixth floor walkup but it turns out i don't want to. you know, paul ryan will do it. but here's the deal, paul ryan doesn't want to be the candidate because he, quote, believes the nominee should be someone who ran this year. okay. so that narrows it down to these people. but you can't-- you cannot blame speaker ryan for being hesitant. running for president is a gauntlet of personal attacks and media hit jobs. i mean it's bloody business. it's like the hunger games. no, it's worse. it is-- the hunger for power games. welcome!
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welcome to the hungry for power games. tributes, assemble. oh so few remain. they're like the beatles but there are six of them and they are all ringo. excuse me. i'm a bit under the weather. i'm so under the weather i can't say weather. andro, (laughter) don't be afraid. don't be afraid. friends, this is my tongueless man boy andro. good evening, and ro. snuff box. yes, oh, yes, here we go. nothing gets my blood pumping like the crushed dreams of failed candidates. oh, let's have a gram of lindsay graham. whooo! the south shall rise again! massachippisippi. hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm. hmmmm.
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here we go. (laughter) my snuff box say little fuller today. because on tuesday we lost another brave tribute. >> after getting crushinged in his home state marco rubio suspended his campaign. >> after tonight it is clear that while we are on the right side, this year we will not be on the winning side z. >> stephen: yes, florida senator and boy whose birthday party your parents made you attend marco rub why has joined the ranks of the fallen. and when he dropped out, he was gracious in defeat. >> i'm so grateful for all the help that you guys have given us. i just want to you know there is nothing more could you have done. >> stephen: well, you could have voted for him. but besides that, no. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: and tribute marco leaves us after a string of
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but was blind sided by tuesday's shocking secretary place defeat in florida. so for the record, florida votes yes on jimmy buffett. yes on releasing pythons into toilets, on marco rubio, no thanks. loyal citizens, this is a major turning point in our game. for rubio is the last tribute fighting on behalf of the establishment of capital stivment he was supposed to become the jeb bush people liked. instead he became the jeb bush. ha, ha, ha. please clap, please clap. and now, with tribute trump marching toward capital city, i would just like to say everything's going to be fine. we game makers are still in full control of the games. andro, prime the escape pod to the forbidden zone.
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remember rubio's shining moment of oratory. >> donald is not going to make america. he's going to make america orange. he doesn't sweat because his bother pos are clogged from the spray tan. he likes to sue people, he should sue whoever did that to his face. have you seen his hands, and you know what they say about men with small hands. >> stephen: they win florida? (applause) and now let us bid fairwell-- fair well to the fallen.
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marco. unless you end up getting the nomination because really anything's possible at this point. we'll be right back.
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>> stephen: welcome back, everybody. our first guest tonight is a beloved actor familiar to audiences from countless films am is he now in season six of show time's "shameless." please welcome william h. macy. >> stephen: happy st. patrick's day. >> and to you too. >> stephen: irish, macy? >> i got a bit of it, more scots than irish. >> jon: all right, we can make it work. >> no, i am married to a scots, we make it work. i'm so happy to finally meet you because i'm a big fan of you and your wife. >> yeah.
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the greatest couple name of all time. fill yam h mufman. >> pretty goods. >> stephen: you have a good happy marriage even though are you famous celebrity, got your stars on the walk of fame and everything. how do you make it work? >> i have no idea. >> stephen: what is the secret. >> marry felicity huffman, everything else will work out, that is all i know. >> stephen: how about married to william h. macy. is he a treat to be married to. >> i hear he's rough. >> stephen: he looks a little rough. >> look at the characters he plays. >> stephen: i know, you have played, first of all, amazing performances in magnolia, boogie knights, obviously fargo which is how a lot of people first got to know you. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: and now in shameless. a lot of people who might be described as losers. >> yeah. >> stephen: but do you see them as losers? >> no, i mean when i watch the film, yes. i think when i act them, i try not to do that. >> stephen: i guess nobody really thinks of themselves as a loser. >> no.
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somebody who hasn't won yet. >> yeah. it's sort of a trick that i have developed over the years, how to make someone who is either a loser or some what dispictable still compelling in some way. it's a good trick am you can have two homes if you can pull it off well. >> stephen: yes. speaking of which, speaking of which, you have pulled it off well enough that you actually have given your wife like the ultimate gift. you are a restoring her childhood home. >> yes. >> stephen: you bought the property and are you restoring the house she grew up in. >> that was good boyfriend behavior. i got to tell you. >> stephen: that is. that is one way to make the marriage work. >> that's-- that worked out very well for me. >> stephen: and where is the house. >> it is in aspen, colorado. >> stephen: okay, i understand. >> somebody has to grow up there. it is just for you, honey. i will buy a house in aspen. look, a mountain. >> stephen: is it literally the house she grew up in? >> st. and we are rebuilding it now and going through all of that stuff.
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you have to make a lot of decisions. we're actually building it from scratch, but build the same house back again. >> stephen: so the house was going. >> yeah, it wasn't worth trying to save. but it does come down to a thousand decisions am i do love to build houses. i'm a bit of a carpenter. >> stephen: i noticed. you are a bit of a cover boy. this is, i saw you on the cover of wood turning basics. (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> i'm proud of that. >> stephen: i would be too. >> yeah. >> stephen: i would be too. i like this down here. it says william h. macy hooked on turning. what does that mean? >> i smoke a lot of dope. >> stephen: okay, all right. and you're making a bowl to hold this pipe. >> i made that bowl. that is a bowl right there. >> stephen: to hold your pot right there or something. >> yeah, why not. >> stephen: what can you turn? can you turn bowls. you mean like a lathe.
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lathe. you can turn bowls or you can colume there. >> stephen: uh-huh. >> on a big lathe. spinedels, baseball bats. >> stephen: yeah. really exciting as a boy i wanted a lathe because it is really exciting to grind your way through a log or something like that. >> it's pretty fun. >> stephen: you also ride motorcycles, sort of manly. >> i did this motser cycle movie called wild hogs and i have been hooked on them ever since. >> stephen: but now you're going to season six of "shameless." >> yeah. your character frank gal a letter kind of rep robait drunk dad, makes a lot of wrong moral choices. >> yeah. >> stephen: are they wrong moral choices or his moral choices. >> oh, nobody's perfect. on the other hand, i think he's funny. i think he's hardworking. he's entrepreneurial. he represents what is best about
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i like the guy, personally, yeah. i like him too. >> yeah. >> stephen: i like him too. how much-- how close is he to you? >> i'm his best friend, i would say. >> stephen: do you ever feel like when you're playing a character with a questionable moral exas, is it ever in anyway a confession for you? like the way you would like to be able to live? >> well, that's well put. i mean it's refreshing to get to be so wrong on such a regular basis. i mean we did one-- i stole this little girl's leg, her prosthetic leg. and i mean she had no leg. and i-- . >> stephen: yeah, yeah. >> i don't know where they cast this young girl, and she has got it and pulling it saying give me my leg, miss ter. and i am pulling it and dragging her across the floor. that was fun. that was fun. >> stephen: well, we have a clip here.
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frank living in an, ashram. and is he becoming intimate spirit allly and physically with some of the women there. >> oh yeah, yeah, it's a come meun. >> stephen: here say clip of them just having commu need. >> you are insatiable. >> my turn, after the way he handles himself with the pit, i want to taste this fresh meat. hands-off, harmon. >> frank. >> you will always be my moon but you must allow another to be my sun. (laughter) (cheers and applause). >> stephen: it turns out frank gal a ger is sort of a sexy character to the women. i don't get it and also-- . >> stephen: they love a bad boy. >> they do.
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but i-- at age 50 i started taking off my clothes and doing these scenes. it's so bizarre. you haven't lived until you have been running around buck naked in front of a bunch of teamsters. >> stephen: well, the night is young and it is st. patricks. we'll be right back with more
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in 1934, steak 'n shake decided the world didn't need another hamburger. it needed a steakburger. so they used 100 percent beef. quick seared to seal in the flavor ... ... you'll only get from a steakburger. steak 'n shake, home of the original steakburger. >> stephen: welcome back. we're back with our friend william h. macy, everybody. now i disn know this, you actually, did you grow up in the south? >> i did. born in florida, raised in georgia. >> stephen: where in george ga? >> macon, decater, i'm going to atlanta on monday. i'm going to direct a film there
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>> stephen: people don't think of you as southern. you don't have a southern accent. >> i was about ten years old when i moved to the north and it was long enough ago that it was a novel tee. here. and they take me and say mom, listen to this. say something. and you get in the fear and you lose it pretty quickly. interesting i do a southern accent now, i've got to study. >> stephen: i do the same thing. i sound like somebody from john like that. i say to you general beauregard. >> i do love a good southern accent, especially that deep olive oil smooth accent. >> stephen: uh-huh, uh-huh, do you miss having one. do you wish you still had it? >> no. well, people think of you as being from the midwest now because so many people know from you fargo, that original, that movie kind of catapulted you. did you know that movie was going to start? make make you such a star? >> i knew it was going to be a great movie.
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directed it, i knew i was born to play the role and that everyone in the industry would see it i flatter myself that i'm pretty good at reading scripts and i knew it was going to be good, yeah. >> stephen: did they know, did you have to scramble for this part? >> oh, lord, yes. i went in for a small part. they asked if i wanted to read jerry. i said yeah, went out in the hall, sea said do you want to come back tomorrow, i said yeah, every aker in l.a. came to my house to drill me all night about how to get that script down. and then i found out they were still auditioning in new york, so i got my jolly jolly lutheran ass on an airplane and i crashed the audition. in new york. >> i said this is my role, don't you give it to anybody elsement i don't recommend that but it worked in this case. congratulations. >> yeah. >> stephen: that is another character that you have played and your very wonderful talent to express to the audience not
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behavior, sometimes just a certain stillness in your face that there is an inner heartbreak that you cannot express, you cannot tell the other, the person are you talking to. and i would love to be able to do that. i was hoping i could try to do that with you. try to express inner heartbreak in some way. how do you do it? what's the secret? >> well, techically speaking, there's-- there's standi ds slawssky, what you call an effective mm ree. you think of the time your dog got killed by a car and you think of that memory and you bring it to the stage. there is-- that says basically you do the motions in the actions and the emotion will follow. and then there is my technique which is, i just fake it. and if you can fake it well enough, people buy it. >> all right. well, i would like to try to fake it with you right now, okay. go. ladies and gentlemen, this is
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william h. macy. again, you an i each have inner sadnesses that are too deep to ever express as a human being. so instead we're just going to say the most money dain things we possibly can and convey our heartbreak. >> hey there is cake on the secretary floor conference room because it's farber's birthday. >> this is my 12th time seeing injuriesy boys. -- jersey boys. grab lightning in a bottle with a ginseng taste of mountain dew voltage. no, only the pillow shams are on sale.
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regular price. (applause) >> i got the tickets for $200 cheaper but there is a two hour layover in phoenix. >> as i get older, i feel like a the carbonation and seltzer burns my throat. >> you can use muffin tins to freeze individual soup portions. >> one for "zootopia," please. >> "shameless" is on suns at 9 p.m. on showtime. william h. macy everybody.
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>> stephen: welcome back, everybody, my next guest stars in the binge bang theater and is a cowriter and star of the new
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please welcome melissa raush. nice to meet you, thanks for being here. me. i'm so excited to be here. >> obviously everybody knows you congratulation. cheer plaws. but now you have got a complete departure. you've got the new movie the bronze which i understand you cowrote with your husband, right? i did. we're very excited about it it's been a real passion project, as they say. >> and not only, you cowrote it but are you in it and i understand that you were encouraged to hold out to star in it by none other than sylvester stallone, right there. >> he was a bit of an inspiration. so when we first wrote the script we started sending it out to producers we had some interest but there was a discussion of we like the script and would want to do it but we could get more money for it if we put an actress in it who has box office success, history.
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>> stephen: you said what is melissa raush, chopped liver? >> and they said yes, chopped liver. so yeah, we held on to it and just decided to do it for a supersmall budget. >> stephen: stallone was the perfect inspiration. >> he was. because he held on to rocky. so we kept on saying we're going to rocky this and sylvester stallone it. and i saw him at a party recently and i am normally the type that will hide in the corner very awkwardly and i decided i am going to go and tell him what an inoperation-- inspiration he was. so i circled him for awhile. and he just had this air of champion. he just smells like a champion. >> yeah. >> you just smell it from a distance. >> right. >> and i was taken by, he has this beautiful neck that looks like the base of a sequ oia tree. >> stephen: he sat here a couple of weeks ago. >> it is incredible. so once i was over my neck gazing, i went up to him and i told him how he held on to the movie for myself, because of him
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and he was like hey, hey, it's a good thing you did that. you would have regretted it your whole life. your whole life. feels good, don't it feels good. >> yes, sylvester, it does. >> he's a great inspiration because this is another sports movie, okay. for the people who don't know it. the movie is about a gymnast who >> yes. >> stephen: who had won the years ago. >> about ten years ago. >> stephen: and is still a big celebrity in her hometown. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: but now she's afraid she might be eclipsed, why. >> there say gymnast in town who is a rising star and she is faced with a decision, does she train her or sabotage her to preserve her own legacy. and it's sort of her coming of age in this new phase in her life. >> stephen: and she's not a good person. >> not a good person. >> stephen: no, so she is sort of undermining this other gymnast. >> yes. >> stephen: an in this next scene that we have here where she is taking her through her die tear regimen if you were
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>> there you go. thank you. this is a joke, right? michael phelps eats 12,000 calories a day. who say better role model. the guy with 22 medals or a chubby-- taking a dirt. >> but aren't guy swimmers different than girl gymnasts? >> anthony told us that men and women are equal. >> you mean susan b anthony, right? >> both of them. >> maggie, you trust me, you will eat this food open your mouth and put it in. >> stephen: now did you too-- why did you two-- why did you choose gymnastics? it seems particularly competitive? >> well, it's also i am under
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many athletes i could play. >> stephen: there is a pretty graphic sex scene in this movie. >> there is. >> stephen: and again, you wrote this film with your husband. >> i did. >> stephen: the sexiness could only be described as gymnastic. whose idea was this scene? >> it was mutual. we just draw from life experience when we're writing. yeah, we were just sitting across from each other and we knew these two characters were going to get together at that point in the story and we just look at each other, of course this is who they would do. two world class gymnasts. >> stephen: they're using the rings and everything. >> oh, yeah, there is some pommel horse bodies going on. >> stephen: have your parns seen this? >> they have not, they are seeing in in about an hour for the first time. >> stephen: are you going to watch it with them. >> i'm going be to sitting next to them. i'm almost thinking of putting a camera on the seat in front of them to see their reaction.
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>> exactly. my mom was very sweet. when i called her for sundance when the movie premiered and all this press about the sex scene, and i thought oh no, my parents are reading this thinking i'm doing porn. so i called her. i'm so sorry, just so you know that is not the only thing that this movie is about,but yes, there is a sex scene. she said it's okay, sex sells. >> stephen: this is your good for mom. >> yeah! >> stephen: good for mom. well "the bronze" is in theaters nation wide tomorrow, melissa raush, everybody, thanks so much for being here.
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