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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  March 19, 2016 12:35am-1:37am EDT

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know that he was being recorded yet there are fbi notes saying, quote, knew being taped all sides and an obvious camera in play. hulk knew. a typically boisterous hogan didn't have anything to say about the are jury's decision. that's because they'll be back in court monday, considering whether to punish gawker with punitive damages, potentially more money for hogan. we are following some breaking news now in russia where a passenger plane has reportedly crashed. authorities say the plane from dubai crashed while trying to land at an airport south of moscow. russian news reports claimed around 60 people were on board. we will stay on top of this overnight and will bring you any new details on the morning news at 5:00. the president of france says he wants the suspected mastermind of the paris attacks extradited to face trial. [ sound of gunfire ]
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ended today in belgium. authorities captured salaam during a gun fight in brussels. prosecutors say a due salaam did not surrender oro by a ortdz. police were led to him after they discovered his fingerprints during a raid on tuesday. oz. >> the cooperation between france and belgium since these attempts, but even before these attempts, has always been intense and important. >> at least four others were arrested during a raid that included members of a family that helped hide a due salaam. tonight we learn trey walker has died, one day after being critically hurt in a dirt bike crash in miami. he collided with a ford escape thursday night. police say walker's bike did not have headlights and he was wearing dark clothing at the time. police say the driver of the accident stayed on scene and
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several ravens' players took to social media to express their condolences. a mother lost her son today and a family lost their brother. we are family. he was the fourth round pick of the ravens in 2015. apple is set to unveil a new line of iphones on monday. the headliner is expected to be a smaller version of the iphone followed by a smaller version of the ipad pro. the lefnt take place at apple's cupertino campus, a moaftd venue that holds fewer reporters and guests than other poplar apple event locations. starts at 10:00 a.m. pacific time. >> seeps like the devices are getting bigger and bigger. >> bigger and bigger, exactly. bigger? >> i don't have the big device, so i don't know. >> i like the big ole' screen. chief meteorologist tom sorrells joins us now.
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here's radar right now. >> into the gulf of mexico, that's where the big moisture is funneling our way from here. all this stuff sliding in here. but that front comes a little farther down to the south. that's where we get walloped with a bigger punch of the rain. during the overnight, some of you to the north will hear the roaring of the rain. right now in daytona beach, 61 is our current reading. %. 73 in melbourne and ocala tonight, you're holding at 66,
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that rain. >> satellite and radar together. i like this shot a lot because you can tell what's happening. the front is kind of here the. >> i wouldn't call it dead but it is stationery. -- stationary. 24 hours is when we get our biggest slap of the rain. not a whole lot happening. during overnight we get a roar of rain for a while and during the day tomorrow, by noon, we have heavy scattered showers in tampa all the way into the osceola county area. we're all gonna be out there at runaway country between about 5:00 and 8:00 tomorrow night. we would really like for it to dry out before we get there. looks like maybe it will. here's 5:00 from kissimmee to orlando the big punch of the moisture should be east of the area into southern brevard county by that time.
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for you between about 1:00 p.m. to 5:00, 6:00, maybe even 7:00, some of those showers linger. as a matter of fact, hit or miss shower activity continues from 5:00, 6:00, 7:00, 8:00 until 10:00 tomorrow night in a large part of the area. the front is here and the atmosphere is really unstable. it won't be super severe, not gonna go wild and crazy but there will be scattered showers throughout the entire afternoon tomorrow and some linger right into sunday. this is what radar looks like sunday afternoon at 6:00 p.m. still raining in brevard county. let's talk about overnight lows where you live tonight. in daytona beach we're dropping to an overnight low of 64. the same in deland. in ovito tonight, 65. we're going to go to 64 in the villages to ocala. 66 in leesburg and over on the coast. eventually before the sun rises tomorrow morning, we hit 67 in titusville. overnight in orlando will be 67,
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here is tomorrow. >> by noon tomorrow, 78, but bear in mind sometime after the noon hour, the rain really begins from orlando down to the south. daytime high will be 84 tomorrow if we can get there before that rain tags oia. come sunday, what a difference, huh. 75 degrees for a daytime high on sunday. monday is our really cool day. i don't mean cool like fonzi, i mean cool, like it's chilly, like a high of 70. an overnight low monday night of 48, that may be the last hurrah for the 40s for a long time to come. >> three suspects lead police on a high-speed chase near three cities in dallas. >> how officers were able to catch up with them, plus jewelry store heist. a robbery right in the middle of the day. it's all on camera and you do not want to miss it.
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. police in the atlanta area released this video of thursday's robbery. it shows the suspects threatening people inside the store with a gun, shattering the glass of jewelry case. the suspects removed some jewelry from the case before then booking it.
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no one was hurt in the robbery. also caught on camera, a wild chase in the dallas area. it started as a report of a possible stolen car after reaching some really high speeds on interstates. the chase proved to be just too much for the female driver and her two male passengers. they pulled over after snaking through parts of downtown dallas and then surrendered. no one was hurt in that either. prepare yourselves, a cuteness alert is now in affect. >> take a look at this. these are five cheetah cubs now under the watchful eye of caretakers at the cincinnati zoo after they were born prematurely. the little premies, their mom, 5-year-old willow gave birth to them on march 8th. the cubs will be in the nursery for 8 to 12 weeks for round the clock care and willow is expected to make a full recovery. look at those tiny little bottles. >> warm and fuzzy inside right now. that's a beautiful thing. jamie say is here.
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is my bracket. all the number 1 seeds are still alive. if you went with the number ones, you know, you're doing good. >> if you've been watching march madness all day, you missed a lot of stuff. a busy day for sports. lebron james was in town tonight, and orlando city soccer played on the road at one of the most famous ballparks in the world. yankees stadium lines up their own joltin' joe and watch this dunk from aaron gordon. wow and then jason day, mastering the c make today smile with 6 dunkin' donuts for $4.49, powdered with sugar, layered with frosting, filled with jelly, or topped with sprinkles. share some smiles with 6 donuts for $4.49 today.
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refresh yourself
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with a revitalizing iced tea from dunkin' donuts. sip in any size iced tea for 99 cents today. america runs on dunkin'. with a ton of stuff going on tonight for central florida. orlando city puts its first check mark in the win column for scent 2016. they played at yankees stadium and likely pitched a 6 game shut-out tonight in the bronx, too. orlando really earned this one. laying there for the header and a 1-nil lead.
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orlando city got him in the off-season. . meanwhile, lebron james was in town tonight with the cavaliers. they faced the magic at the amway center but victor was the man to watch. he went for over 40 points tonight. >> scored 24 in the first half and ignites for 15 in the third
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>> if you are planning to go to the early invitational tomorrow, go early. it will wrap up early. the last two days watching the field, he's gotta appreciate what jason day is doing at his course. day began the second round with a 1 shot lead. look at that birdie. dave fires a 7 under today to move to 13 under. adam scott was one shot back, but two bogeys and a double bogey today, he's now 9 shots off the lead. what's great about this tournament is the family atmosphere. nice to see mom and dad bringing the kids to the course, isn't it? very sweet.
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looking up at jason day who has a two-shot lead. he actually had some good advice from eight-time winner tiger woods. >> i had a sex from tiger last night. he said stay aggressive but be patient. i tried do the exact same as i did and it worked out. >> two shot lead over henry stenson. rhori mcaroy shoots a 5 under today and gets up 65 places to make the cut. remember, get there early tomorrow. orlando solar bear is trying to set a new attendance record at the amway center against an ron dak. game time is at 7:00. big upset today in college basketball obviously. michigan state going down, tom and i picked michigan state. >> all right, thank you, jamie. >> thanks for joining us. >> morning news starts bright
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>> stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( band playing "late show" theme ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! welcome to "the late show," everybody. thank you so much. everybody up there, down there, everybody out there, out there, out there.
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stephen. >> stephen: trying to wake them up! wake up! >> stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: whooo! ( cheers and applause ) welc--( laughs ) show time! hey, jon, how are you? >> jon: right here, right here. >> stephen: good to see you, my friend! how you doing? >> jon: good, good, solid. >> stephen: how are your hamstrings? how are your hamstrings, jon? >> jon: yeah, they're nice. >> stephen: hamstrings feeling okay? >> jon: yeah, they're nice and stretched. >> stephen: i've got to stretch mine out before i do anything rough tonight. welcome, welcome to "the late show," everybody. i'm stephen colbert. you know, life is good, isn't it? life is good. ( cheers and applause ) more life is better. it's not all bad news out there. some of it is absolutely fantastic. for instance, it's getting warmer. spring training right now, down in florida. i just saw this heartwarming story of a baseball bat flying at a child's head. ( laughter
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did you guys see this today? danny ortiz of the pittsburg pirates is up to bat, down in florida for spring training, takes a chop at it, the bat flies out of his hands-- apparently they had not gotten to the part of spring training where they are trained to hold onto the bat-- and it goes straight for the skull of an eight-year-old boy in the stands. and check out how his father protected him with his forearm. look at that! ( applause ) that dad-- that dad-- there's your season m.v.p., and the season hasn't even started. the dad's name is sean cunningham, and his eight-year- old son is landon. and that photo is all over social media today, and believe it or not, some jerks out there have criticized the boy for not paying attention because he's looking at his phone, in the photo. which is totally unfair. it's not the boy's fault that baseball is so boring. ( laughter )
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) he's just looking-- and here's the thing-- i am feeling a little inadequate as a and i think a lot of fathers are. and not just because of what the dad did, but check out his laughter ) it's like seeing the bat next to the tree it was carved from. i can't compete with that. here, let's trade, let's trade. ( cheers and applause ) you take this. okay. okay. this is-- i want to show you my forearm, okay? okay, here's my forearm. okay? here's my forearm, ready? here's a regulation-sized bat. my forearm. now you see it. cheers and applause ) now you see it, now you don't. ( applause ) can we please go back to
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) it's really-- it's really depressing. anyway, we've got a great show for you tonight. i will be talking to oscar- winning actress, the lovely dame helen mirren is here, ladies and gentlemen. ( cheers and applause ) then i'll be talking to the director of "star trek" and "star wars", sir j.j. abrams will be sitting down with us tonight. ( cheers and applause ) sir j.j., why not. and, we will have music from dma's! ( band playing ) and, oh, hey! that right there, over there in left field, that's jon batiste and stay human, everybody. say hi, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) they are about to gun the "late
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jazz canyon, but before they do, one more thing: a new study says binge-watching tv can cause depression. which explains the new phrase, "netflix and weep into a pint of ice cream." >> tonight, stephen welcomes helen mirren. j.j. abrams. and a musical performance by dma's. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now it's time for "the late show with stephen colbert!" (
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) >> stephen: here you go! mmm! mmm! ( cheers and applause ) i'll tell you one of the things, one of the reasons that story of the kid almost getting hit in the head with the bat really resonates for me, is that, when throw the bat after i hit the ball. possibly-- i'm not sure where i learned it, but possibly because i had seven brothers, and i was to bat from them, and they were always showing off in the backyard. so if they hit the ball in our backyard, they would hit and just kind of let it fly, like a sword after he decapitated his opponent. and so as a kid i used to always hit the ball and let the ball fly-- let the bat fly. it would just go off look a
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stands. and my coach would always say, "don't do that! don't throw the bat!" and then one day i was playing sandlot baseball at my school in james island, south carolina, and i got up to bat-- ( cheers and applause ) seriously, james island, south carolina, fans? all right, there are some good people out there from james island. and they know it's all just sand out there if you dig down more than an inch because it's just an old beach with trees on it. and i got a nice hit, i got a nice hit, and i let the bat go and it starts flying away and i almost take the first base and then i remember, "oh, yeah, coach says, don't throw the bat." and i turned around in time to see the bat, still in air, still just whipping around, and make perfect contact with a kid my age, like fourth grade, right there, sweet spot, right to sweet spot. and to my dying day, i will never forget the image of the kid just going bop,
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starfish and falling over backwards like a duck at an amusement park shooting gallery. and i didn't know what to do until, of course, the crowd started yelling, "run! take your base!" and by the time i got on to second, and by the time i got back to home, i think they had dragged him off by his ankles. i'm sure he was fine. so i'd like to say i'm sorry to whoever that was, if you ever recovered. ( laughter ) hey, i'd like to do a quick check-in with the audience right now. i do this every so often. it's a quick poll about presidential candidates. is anybody here feeling the bern? ( cheers and applause ) thank you, thank you, that's fine. thank you. i have my sample size. thank you very much. well, brace yourself. i've got some shocking news because yesterday during a rally in michigan, senator sanders
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burning down. >> i've done marijuana twice in my life when i was very young-- ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: whooo! whooo! whooo! wha! why are we cheering? because he smoked pot? he only smoked twice! i don't think this admission is on brand for bernie. senator, you do know who your supporters are? i will tell you this much, they have smoked marijuana twice... since i started this sentence. ( laughter ) i for one-- ( cheers and applause ) i for one am shocked by bernie's admission. remember when he dropped this track on us? as i went walking that ribbon of highway
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that endless skyway i saw below me >> stephen: he recorded a reggae cover of a socialist anthem and expects us to believe he only smoked pot twice? was one of those times for ten years, senator? the only reason i can think of that the senator from the people's republic of vermont has only sparked up twice is that maybe bernie thought it clashed as bernie ) "if we pass the dutchie upon the left hand side, the bottom 10% of people to the right are getting 80% less dutchie than the elite 1% on dee left hand side. i promise in my administration there will be equal redistribution of dee dutchie." cheers and applause ) laughter ) of course, these days, you can get medical marijuana if you suffer from things like anxiety, nausea, and depression. and you know who could use a
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every voter in america, because this campaign season has been brutal. as the candidates fight and then the candidates fall, everybody just thirsts for their blood. it's terrible. it's like "the hunger games." no, it's worse than that. it's "the hungry for power cheers and applause ) welcome! ha, ha, ha, yas! welcome to "the hungry for power games!" tributes, assemble! no, oh, so few remain. you can barely count them on one ( laughter ) and last week, yet another tribute fell, as retired neurosurgeon and ambien-american ben carson announced he was leaving the race. >> now that i am leaving the
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>> no! >> you know, there are a lot of people who love me. they just won't vote for me. >> stephen: oh, well, oh, well. you know the old saying, "love means never having to say you're sorry you voted for ben carson." but his fall was not unexpected. no, he failed to win a single state on super tuesday-- or on average wednesday-- and carson told supporters he sees "no path forward." doctor, with your eyes closed, you can't see anything forward. ( cheers and applause ) oh, oh! my champagne is going flat! where's my voiceless eunuch!? this is andro. this is andro, my mute man-boy. andro, make happy bubble more now. (
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) good! more! more! yes, good. ( laughter ) shhh! shhhh! shhh! no need to thank me. no need to thank me. back in the pit. back in the pit, andro. ( cheers and applause ) mmm, mmm. ah, yes. mmm, yes. now that has all the sparkle that ben carson lacked. now, where was i? where was i? yes, yes, yes, yes! oh, yes! when the brave doctor announced his campaign, he immediately set the tone with a rousing battle cry: >> i'm not a politician. i don't want to be a politician. >> stephen: wish granted! poof! ( cheers and applause )
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some in capitol city were surprised he didn't put up more of a fight, given this inspiring story of a childhood knife fight. >> i had a large camping knife, and i tried to stab him in the abdomen, and fortunately he had on a large metal belt buckle on under his clothing, and the knife blade struck with such force that it broke, and he fled in terror. ( laughter ) >> stephen: sadly, voters just don't trust someone who is bad at murder. so, let us bid farewell to the fallen. ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause )
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prince, good night-- that is, assuming you were ever awake in the first place. we'll be right back with helen mirren. ( band playing ) mom, who is that? hello! who? these dresses are fantastic. they're old navy. thanks. old navy?! all dresses are on sale up to 40% off. oh i have to go, to old navy right now. [engines revving] you can't have a hero, if you don't have a villain. the world needs villains [tires screeching] and villains need cars. what body aches? what knee pain? what sore elbow? advil liqui-gels make pain a
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my first guest tonight is an oscar-winning actress, whose new film is "eye in the sky." >> so the plan is to put a hellfire through the roof of that house. i need legal clearance, right now. >> a missile from the repo? >> yes. >> so this is no longer a capture situation? >> no, we have two suicide vests with explosives inside that house, so can you clear me to a higher c.d.e.? harold, this is a very time- sensitive target. do i have authority to strike? >> the rules of engagement you're operating under only allow for a low collateral damage estimate. >> yes, yes, and my weapons only invoke a low c.d.e. it's the explosives inside that house that bring it to a potentially high c.d.e. >> and since you know the explosives are in there, it is incumbent upon you to take them into account. i can see a potential legal objection. >> we have got two suicide bombers and three very high- value individuals inside that house. >> and you want them off your
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rules of engagement you're operating under envisaged a capture, not a kill scenario. >> stephen: please welcome dame helen mirren. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) ( applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> if i didn't do it then, i'd never get to do it, so you know. i have been dreaming of doing that for about, you know, 15 years. so-- i just grabbed my chance. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. >> stephen: i suddenly can't
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that is one of the nicest greetings any guest has ever given me. >> your lips are very soft. >> stephen: wow. you know what you're doing. ( laughter ) you know what you're doing. you really know what you're doing. thank you so much for being here! ( laughter ) can you imagine the number of people who are jealous of me right now? >> including me when i watch it. i'll be going, "oooh! why didn't i do more?" ( laughter ) >> stephen: oh! well, i'll tell you what, the night is young, dame helen. ( laughter ) you are absolutely a fantastic actress, a captivating woman, and on a level i never imagined before. ( laughter ) and-- and you're a dame. >> i am. >> stephen: okay, i have interviewed some sirs-- they never kissed me. ( laughter ) >> not even ian mckellan? >> stephen: not even ian mckellan. that would have been lovely. that would have been lovely, oh my god, sure.
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sandwich? ah! does it come with anything cool, being a dame? >> it comes with a very nice, very glittery big star that you can wear at certain functions. you know, on the invitation it says-- i think, what's it say, worn-- which means you can wear your thing. very special event it says you can wear the thing. >> yes, you can wear the thing, exactly. >> stephen: that's very nice. we don't have that over here. there's nothing special we get to wear over here. >> you should. because so many americans do such incredible things. >> stephen: they do. >> for their country, for their community, for all kinds of reasons and there really should be some form of recognition. >> stephen: but then we would need a monarchy and we're at least nine months away from that. ( cheers and applause ) don't you think? don't you think? >> i would prefer it to be a monarchy. i don't think it would be a monarchy. i think it would be a dictatorship, which is a very different thing. >> stephen: it could be, it
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we'll see. now you know a little thing or two about monarchy because you played a queen of some part, something like seven or eight times, right? >> possibly, yes. i haven't counted. >> stephen: you played elizabeth ii twice. you have played queen charlotte. you played elizabeth i. >> yes, yes. queen margaret. >> stephen: queen margaret, okay. >> cleopatra. >> stephen: cleopatra, oh yeah! did you go all the way through to putting the asp on your breast and all that dying and everything? >> of course! absolutely. we had a real one that escaped into the theater. ( laughs ) >> stephen: no, seriously? >> it's probably still there. >> stephen: you had a real asp on stage? >> we did, yes, absolutely. i mean, obviously, it wasn't a poisonous one. ( laughs ) well, we don't know. >> stephen: don't break the illusion. don't break the illusion. >> but yeah, it came out of the box all like this, you know, and everyone went, "oooh!" and then it escaped one night. and it's probably still in the bowels of the theater somewhere, i don't know. >> stephen: well, did you learn anything from playing a queen? do you have any sympathy for them? >> i'm not a monarchist. you know, i-- i really appreciate and respect our
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know, elizabeth windsor. i think she's done an incredible, you know, long, dedicated, dutiful job for her country, i think it's really amazing what she's done. but i'm-- i'm not a monarchist, particularly. >> stephen: for those who don't understand the monarchy, what do they do? ( laughter ) because i don't really mean to belittle, but i just don't understand necessarily what they do. to americans they're, like, fascinating. we love the royalty, maybe more than you all do. >> i know! what do they do? i mean, they just have to be incredibly nice to people all day long, every day. ( laughter ) and then, of course, people are very nice to them all day long, every day. >> stephen: until they're not. until they're not. >> yes, and i think-- >> stephen: until they get savaged in the press. >> and when they get savaged in the press. and when that first started, i think that must have been a real shock to the system for them, you know, because they really weren't used to that. but, you know, you watch the queen at work, and it's just extraordinary, just endlessly shaking hands, smiling at
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"where do you come from?" that's what she always asks, "and where do you come from?" and then really doesn't listen ( laughter ) >> stephen: that's the easy part of the job. >> i'm from mars and i live-- i live in mars, and, yes, i am an alien. >> stephen: "how delightful." >> "how very interesting. anyway... on to the next." >> stephen: well, your majesty, can you hang out for a second? we have to take a little commercial, but we'd love to come back and-- and if you deign to give us your presence some more, we would be very honored. we'll be back with more helen mirren. ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause
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>> stephen: but-- but as-- as the queen of all our hearts, i thought perhaps it would be nice if we had a little bit of tea, right now. and how-- >> oh, how gorgeous! look at that! >> stephen: and how do you take it? how do you take it? >> is it bags, or is it tea? >> stephen: no, it says brewed tea. it's english breakfast tea. >> okay, go ahead then. >> stephen: would you like? >> that's lovely. and it's hot! >> stephen: okay, so tell me about the movie. is that too much? >> it's perfect, no, it's perfect, thank you. >> stephen: sorry, i didn't know. do you take cream? >> a little milk here. >> stephen: a little milk, is that right? just say when. so, in the movie, you play a colonel-- >> i do. >> stephen: who is using drones to spy on terrorists. >> not to spy on-- >> stephen: not spy on? >> to attack. >> stephen: okay, but doesn't she have to spy, first? >> yes, yes. >> stephen: what, do you need something? do you need a spoon? >> no, i just want more tea, that's all. >> stephen: more tea? more tea, okay, you told me to stop-- i was pouring and you told me to stop. >> yeah, i know, and then i put the milk in, and then there was too much milk and now i have to put a bit more tea in to make it right. >> stephen: i don't think i'm getting another kiss at the end of this one. i've really blown it. ( laughter ) the movie is, you know-- she's having-- there's conflict within the chain of command as to whether you can kill someone and have collateral damage--
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>> stephen: and whether there is a distance between the military action which is lethal, and the drone operator. and as the-- this woman, who is the commander, who is very hawkish, is sort of a surprising figure because we don't think of this in america-- >> well-- >> stephen: we don't think of female military figures as being sort of hawkish and ready to kill. >> well, i'm sorry, anyone who is in the military, by nature is a hawk, aren't they? i mean, that's their job. >> stephen: i suppose so. >> you don't want a dove, do you, at the head of your--? ( laughs ) >> stephen: i guess not, guess not. >> at least the head of the military. >> stephen: when you were working on the character, is there something different for a-- the idea of a woman being a hawk as opposed to a man? >> i don't think so. i think that, obviously-- it was originally written for a man, incidentally. >> stephen: really? >> and it was changed to a woman. >> stephen: they said, "helen mirren is available, let's--" >> yes, yes! ( cheers and applause ) but it wasn't just-- the
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it-- it doesn't just become a man-- a bloke's movie about war. it gives it a broader, human sort of perspective, really. but yes, it's about-- it's-- you know, i think it's a kind of a court drama with the audience as the jury. i'm really hoping that it doesn't cause any divorces, because it's the kind of movie that when you come out of, people will have very fierce opinions about the issues, about what's right, what's wrong, what would do you in that position, what you wouldn't do in that position? >> stephen: is the technology in the movie accurate? because they have these little drones-- little beetles, tiny little things. >> it is. >> stephen: smaller than a hummingbird, smaller than a beetle, flying into people's houses and spying on them. >> that's real. the technology is at that point and it's going to go much further beyond that point in the next ten or 15 years. that's what's so extraordinary.
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secret in a sense-- >> stephen: not anymore. ( laughter ) >> not anymore. >> stephen: thanks a lot, helen mirren. >> have we done something, oh my god! ( laughs ) >> stephen: can i ask what is that-- that tattoo? >> my tattoo? >> stephen: is that okay to ask what that is? >> yes, what it means, or--? >> stephen: yes, what does it mean? >> it means-- >> stephen: it's sort of two "v"s inverted against each other. >> it is. it kind of means, equal and opposite, so something can be as different from you as you can possibly imagine but have equal value to yourself. that's the sort of overall idea of it. i used to tell people i got it in prison before my sex change. ( laughter ) >> stephen: well, they did a very, very good job, let me just say. >> yes, it was very expensive. no, but, i got my tattoo when only hell's angels and criminals had tattoos. >> stephen: back in the 1970s? >> yes, yes, in the '70s, exactly right, in the '70s. i got it done here in america. >> stephen: really? >> yes, with a safety pin. >> stephen: when-- when you were-- ( laughter ) with a
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and, like, a bottle of ink or something? >> yes, a bottle of ink. >> stephen: you're fascinating. were you-- i understand you actually were something of a carnival barker when you were younger? there's a different name for it in england. >> well, when i was at school-- i mean, i was at the convent school, so i was a good girl-- >> stephen: you were at a convent school? >> yes, i had to go to a convent school, yes. with nuns. >> stephen: oh, really? did you ever think about taking the orders? >> you know, i did. when i was about 11 or 12. something very-- >> stephen: oh, you would be such trouble on those young boys you were teaching. it would have been so hard on them. >> no, it was all girls, it was an all girls' school. but anyway, it was a sort of saturday job. yes, i worked as a barker in the local-- because i grew up in the sort of the british equivalent of coney island. so it was a sort of seaside resort sort of place with carnivals and rides and stuff like that. a while. >> stephen: so what would you do? sort of like, "step up! step up! she walks, she talks, she crawls on her bell as a reptile. gorilla, gorilla! come inside!" >> i did what was known as
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i was trying to explain that, darts stall. >> stephen: exactly, like-- like a carnival where you throw the darts that hit balloons and stuff like that. >> so i had to get people to the stall, my stall, as opposed to any other stall. balloons and win a doll, or something? >> yes. >> stephen: was it a total rip- off? >> yes, completely. >> stephen: so you were a con >> yes, yeah, and i blag, i blag-- >> stephen: you were a tattooed con man who spent her time at a convent school. >> i didn't have my tattoo then. that was later. >> stephen: you didn't have your tattoo then? >> but i blagged. i'd go, "excuse me, sir, excuse me, excuse me, yes, you, did you park at the gate? did you? i'm sorry, did you? i don't think you did? could you come here a second? could you just come here a second, i just want to ask you something. did you park in at the gate? did you? >> jon: yes, i did. okay, yeah, okay. >> you did, oh, good! i'm very happy to hear it! now, we've got a very good stall you know, ( laughter ) >> jon: yeah, over there. >> stephen: she got you. jon, helen. helen, jon. applause cheers and applause )
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>> that's blagging. >> stephen: how much different is that from acting? >> it's exactly the same! ( laughter ) you're so right. >> stephen: yeah. >> that was when my career began. i never thought of that. >> stephen: well, helen mirren, thank you so much for being here. it was an absolute pleasure to cheers and applause band playing ) "eye in the sky" opens this friday. we'll be right back. to those who don't run from mud...but through it. who know it wasn't a day at the beach... unless someone got buried. to the fullbacks... gearheads... and those with green thumbs. to the sticky... the stinky... even those who get a little icky. to all the beautiful mess
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! welcome back, everybody. my next guest is good at tv and even better at films. his new good film is "10 cloverfield lane." please welcome our friend j.j. abrams! ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) j.j.! >> thank you. wow. wow.
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>> great to see you, sir. >> stephen: it's always a pleasure to be with you. you know why i think people like you, other than the fact that you're a damn nice guy? >> what's that, sir? >> stephen: people love hearing stories, and you're like the consummate storyteller. >> that is incredibly kind, and now i'm on the spot. >> stephen: no, you don't have to-- you don't have to tell a story. >> thank you, thank you. >> stephen: i wouldn't mind knowing and i'm sure people philosophy how you tell stories, though? like, is there somewhere you want to start? do you start with a question? do you start with a mystery? where do you start? >> not really. honestly, every story is a different thing and all you try to do is tell a story that will engage people emotionally. and i think in movies at least, there's a tendency to sometimes go for a visual effects sort of crutch, to sort of rely on spectacle. and i think that-- >> stephen: well, you're very good at that. you're very good at that. a lot of things. >> thank you. >> stephen: not the crutch part-- not the crutch part, but the spectacle, certainly. >> thanks. but anyway... ( laughter ) i think-- oh, my god. what i think is happening-- >> stephen: you like the visual effects? >> it's an amazing place. exactly.
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to tell a story that is as emotionally engaging as possible, despite all the spectacle. >> stephen: now, i understand that-- we spoke about this once before, in front of a live audience for a benefit once, you said that your wife told you to laughter your wife, katie, said, "that's enough with the lens flares." ( laughter ) >> stephen: but this time you listened. >> but lens flares, i was like, okay, i'll stop. she was right. there was one scene in "star trek: into darkness" that you literally couldn't see what was going on. and it was a very important emotional scene. and alice eve, the actress, was somewhere behind this crazy lens flare glaring, and katie just looked at me and said, "okay, i think this is it. i think, at this point you have to absolutely stop doing that." >> stephen: it's like putting on jewelry. put on everything you want before you go out, look in the mirror, and take off one lens flare. >> is that what you do? >> stephen: that's what you do. that's what i do. okay, let's talk about the new movie "10 cloverfield lane." >> yes, sir.


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