tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC February 26, 2016 11:34pm-12:37am EST
enjoy yourself. welcome, everybody. enjoy yourself. relax. welcome to "the tonight show." you made it. you made it. this is the big time right here. the big time. here's what everyone is talking to me about, of course, last night was the tenth republican debate which featured all five of the remaining candidates. they all had a lot of interesting things to say. at least i think they did. see if you can tell. >> donald playing -- [ talking over each other ] donald? donald, i understand rules are very hard for you. >> donald? >> thank you for the book. [ talking over each other ] >> people are sadly watching this debate. [ talking over each other ] >> hold on. let me get my answer in. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: even the girls on "the bachelor" were like "this is way too much drama." [ laughter ] this is too much. [ applause ] it got crazy. and during the debate, people noticed there was a woman that kept screaming in the audience. [ light laughter ] yeah. and then hillary was like, "i'm sorry, i just love how this is
[ applause ] aahh! whoo! at one point during the debate when donald trump repeated himself, marco rubio -- who was also mocked for repeating himself called trump out on it. take a look at this. >> you have many different plans. you'll have so many different plans. they're going to have many, many different plans. >> now he's repeating himself. >> no. no. [ cheers and applause ] no. i don't repeat myself. i never repeat myself. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: i repeat, i don't repeat myself. [ light laughter ] of course, everyone was vying for speaking time. part of the problem was that if by another candidate, moderators didn't call on you to respond. too happy about this. check it out. >> our policy -- >> one at a time. >> governor kasich, you have >> i have a response. you all have a response, but i promised governor kasich he could respond.
[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is good. then cnn said, "hey who turned ben's mic on?" [ laughter ] come on. turn that thing off. it's not supposed to be on. and like always before the debate, the moderator went over the rules. normally candidates are cut off by a bell when the time is up. but last night was a little different. take a look. >> and as the candidates requested, a bell will sound like this. >> damn, daniel. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's what it is. down, daniel. down, daniel. so the former president george h.w. bush and his wife barbara were in attendance for the debate. or as jeb put it, first debate i'm not in is the one you show up to? [ laughter ] thanks a lot, dad. [ applause ]
and my graduation! [ light laughter ] and my wedding. [ light laughter ] this made me laugh. this is really funny last night. lindsey graham, did you see this? he was talking about the republican primary last night. and now that he's been out of the race for a couple months, he's really letting loose. check it out. >> the nice guy is ben carson. he tried to kill his cousin. [ laughter ] and he hit his mother in the head with the hammer. how did i lose to these guys? [ laughter ] my party is going bat[ bleep ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the good news is, even if lindsey isn't going to be president, at least he can be the best man at every wedding reception. [ laughter ] [ applause ] where is larry? there he is. crazy tech news. i saw that a company in boston built a 5'9" robot that can open doors and can actually get punched. [ light laughter ]
being punched, well, it's boston. [ laughter ] so i mean --pplause ] not so tough, are you terminator? [ light laughter ]ton dynamics has built a new robot that can walk just like a a person and can even get back look at this. laughter ] kind of scary, right? [ light laughter ] there's actually some more footage of where he even has a a voice. you can tell what it is thinking. watch this. pick up this box and place it on the shelf.
i will now pick up this box. -- dammit, carl. [ laughter ] why did you do that?up the box. seriously, carl? [ laughter ]more fooling around. just let me pick up the box. thank you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and a [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, roots.
week.brikell, margot robbie, tina fey. [ cheers and applause ] pharrell williams and gwynyeth paltrow will all be then we'll have music from santigold and this band who we've been trying to get on. have on that we never had on? the who will be here next week. >> steve: oh! and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. our studio is going to break. they're going to break it in half. yeah. they're very loud. but first, you guys, from fx's "the people versus o.j simpson."is show. it's on fx. "the people versus o.j simpson: american crime story," the one and only nathan lane is here tonight.nd applause ] he's fantastic. >> steve: brilliant. >> jimmy: he plays at in the show. also here to talk about the new americans," the
[ cheers and applause ] we love keri russell! nathan, keri and i are going to . yeah. i can't wait. that will be fun. plus, you know her as chloe from "24." i mean, come on. really great. we love her. we have standup comedy from gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] we don't have time for this -- guys today is friday. when i catch up on personal stuff. i check my inbox, return some e-mails and of course i send k you notes. [ cheers and applause ] i was running a bit behind.guys wouldn't mind, i'd like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool? [ cheers and applause ] thank you. thank you. james, can i have some thank you note writing music, please? [ light laughter ] wow. >> steve: it looks weary.like -- not real. wax. wax figure? >> steve: wax james. >> jimmy: all right..
>> steve: or mr. tussaud. k you, president obama, for closing the prison at gitmo because it costs the government $85 million a year. like they say, gitmo money, gitmo problems. [ laughter ]pplause ] ald trump, for calling hillary clinton a a marshmallow. [ light laughter ] which is pretty tough talk who is the same color as a circus peanut. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] just saying. saying thank you.'s it. it's a thank you note. >> jimmy: i was only saying thank you that's all. >> steve: just saying that's his hue is orange. [ light laughter ] k you, the woman in london who is demanding a a lifetime supply of kit-kats after buying some that lacked waffers.laughter ] or as the maker of kit-kat put it, give me a break. [ laughter ]
come on. me off a a piece of that kit-kat bar. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light prison guards, for allegedly finding boston mobster whitey bulger masturbating in his jail cell ncing him to 30 days of solitary confinement. [ laughter ] if there is one way to punish o do that kind of thing is to give him 30 days all by himself. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'll teach you to -- bulger. >> steve: bulger.light laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, coming home from vacation, being the you actually get to know what your house truly smells like. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] when did we have fish? [ light laughter ] lacrosse players for being really
[ cheers and applause ] steve: damn, daniel. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] tough sport.s. >> jimmy: have you ever played that? >> steve: no. i'm a fat person. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: i played it once goofing around. rubber ball is hard. >> jimmy: i had someone jab me with a stick or something. >> steve: chasing you and then hurling it. >> jimmy: that's why i stick to quiddich. >> steve: yeah, really? i'll play the radio. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, people who os for basically saying, you know what would be fun? if i decorated my walls with dead strangers.laughter ] [ applause ] there they are.
damn, daniel. [ light laughter ]to damn daniel, right? >> i did. >> jimmy: to make a broadway musical? >> huge broadway musical. >> jimmy: congratulations. that's big, but you had nothing to do with those two surfer >> steve: no. no. but once they hear about me selling the rights to it -- >> damn daniel!'s right. thank you, sea urchins for being the guy fieri of the ocean. [ laughter ] there you go.e my thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ]
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i'm your host steve higgins. are playing with tonight? >> jimmy: you are -- you are in a great mood today buddy. >> steve: thanks man. damn daniel. >> jimmy: he stars in the new fx series "the people versus o.j. simpson: american crime story." please welcome nathan lane! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: wow!s your partner tariq? >> tariq: well, she's the star of the fx drama, "the americans" which returns for march 16th. please welcome keri russell!
[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: okay. you will each be picking a a category and then you'll try to get your partner to guess as many words or phrases in that you can in 30 seconds. the team with the highest score after four rounds is the winner. any questions? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: great. >> jimmy: you said t: here are our categories tonight. [ laughter ] we have -- mixed messages, x-factormatata." [ laughter ] >> got it. >> steve: feli-city. [ laughter ] jimmy, why don't you pick the first category? >> oh nice. >> sorry. i'm sorry.ady. were you holding back? >> i was a little nervous. i was holding on. go right ahead there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my god. >> steve pick? >> jimmy: i'm going to pick -- >> hakuna matata. >> jimmy: hakuna matata. yeah. >> steve: there we go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how do i not -- why would i even think about that. this is '90s movies catch phrases.
'90s movie catch phrases.ovie catch phrases. >> steve: you have 30 seconds >> jimmy: okay. are you ready? >> jimmy: jenny. [ laughter ] i can't say the name of the movie. gump.nny says -- >> "forrest gump." >> jimmy: like she says, "go, go." >> yeah., pass. [ laughter ] titanic. titanic. no. >> jimmy: no, yeah. something like that but you'd think it be that. >> no. no. >> jimmy: titanic. >> titanic. the titanic. [ laughter ]ing on the end of the titanic. >> yeah. yeah. yeah. cause he says the catch phrase. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. you're great at this. >> it's a catch phrase. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh. oh, boy. >> oh not -- not since nick jonas. [ laughter ]- has played this game so well. >> steve: all right, tariq. >> the catch phrase t me on the raft." >> jimmy: no, no. it wasn't -- it wasn't --
"i'm the king of the world!" >> i'm the king of the world," yes. >> steve: "king of the world," h, i blocked that out. >> steve: and "run, forest, run." >> jimmy: and "run, forest, run." >> steve: not "life is like a a box of chocolates." "run, forest, run." >> well that clue that took an hour. [ laughter ] not the clue. i didn't -- that wasn't the problem. >> all right. >> steve: all right, tariq. >> we got this. >> jimmy: "hakuna matata." >> i'm sorry. >> tariq: we got this.o college. [ laughter ] >> tariq: okay. >> steve: tariq are you ready? >> yeah. >> tariq: i am ready. >> steve: pick a category my friend. >> we got this. yeah.ategory -- okay. >> what are we doing? >> tariq: john doe. >> oh crap. >> steve: john doe. these are famous people named john. to you? >> i don't know. is this what the answers on? >> steve: famous people named john. 30 seconds on the clock, >> tariq: okay. ohn. okay. >> tariq: "imagine." >> john lennon. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] >> tariq: okay. the other one who's named -- rhymes with -- twos. >> john hughes.: yes. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] >> tariq: okay. "grease lightning." >> oh, travolta. john travolta. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] did -- did an album with the
"glory." >> john -- >> tariq: "glory." "glory." oscar award winning.know. [ buzzer ] >> tariq: oh, dear. >> but we still -- we still did better. >> tariq: yeah, we did okay. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: john legend. itude. >> steve: john legend. >> jimmy: that's the attitude, we still did better. >> steve: all right, nathan? >> that's what i'm saying. >> steve: nathan. >> can we switch to "the match game?" [ laughter ] >> can we do the thing where you put on the big hands and just hit me? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we did that last night. >> all right.t last night. >> steve: all right, nathan. >> all right. >> steve: pick a category. >> so i'm going to pick a a category now. >> jimmy: have you ever done -- it's "the pyramid." you understand.ber. >> jimmy: have you ever done a a pyramid? >> i was excited in the '80s, they would write dick clark. i remember it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> sure. we're all worried about the iran-contra hearings. yes. [ laughter ] let's see.ld you like me to pick? >> jimmy: oh, stop. really? >> all right, mixed messages? >> jimmy: yeah.eeling.
[ cheers and applause ]le. unbelievable. >> steve: always an entertainer. these are ways to send a a message. to send a a message. you have 30 seconds on the >> jimmy: got you. >> steve: and go. >> jimmy: text, text, e-mail. a guy shows up in a tuxedo and says -- >> jimmy: a singing gram. >> you're right. [ ding ] we're sinking. >> the ship is -- >> jimmy: the -- morse code. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] telephone, you're writing to i'll meet in 30 minutes. >> jimmy: oh that's one -- that's stop -- oh ,texting. >> yes. [ ding ] [ cheers ] you get in a plane and the plane is -- >> jimmy: sky writing! >> yes. [ ding ]e ] an indian would -- >> jimmy: smoke signal! >> yes! [ ding ] [ buzzer ] >> steve: oh!e ] wow! >> all right. >> steve: wow!ood. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: that was good. we did good. >> sure did. feels good. >> steve: six to three. >> jimmy: you found your calling.. man, you got a professional
>> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: you're good at giving not good at receiving. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> damn daniel.! >> jimmy: you know what i meant. >> i say f. lee bailey.hat i meant. i know it's f. lee bailey. >> steve: all right, keri. >> yes. >> tariq: you got this, keri. >> okay. >> steve: are you ready? >> f. lee bailey. >> steve: f. lee bailey. i don't like lee bailey. >> jimmy: f. lee bailey, yes. >> let's do this. >> which is ironic because my porn name used to be f. me daily. >> jimmy: that was years ago. that was years ago. >> jimmy: no, we don't talk like that. we don't talk like that. >> steve: definitely. >> something for -- it's a a story for another show.ow. another time. >> another time. >> jimmy: neither here -- >> we'll tell that. >> jimmy: not the time nor the place. >> that's a tale. >> steve: all right. ready, keri? >> what should i -- >> steve: which category are you gonna pick? >> what should i choose? what should i choose? wait, so we did mixed messages. >> steve: yep. >> tariq: okay.hree left. hey, what's feli-city? >> steve: you gotta pick that one. >> like i have to, right? okay.
>> i'm going. i'm going.major u.s. cities. >> okay. >> steve: for the win. get three and you tie, four and you win. >> okay. oh, god. >> steve: 30 seconds on the clock. >> okay. we got this. we got this. >> steve: and go. >> okay. the blank heat. >> tariq: miami. >> yes. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] >> city of brotherly love. >> tariq [ ding ] >> got it. [ cheers and applause ] the city we are in. >> tariq: new york city. >> there we go. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what kind of category is this? [ laughter ] "what are we s." [ laughter ] >> west of us and big, big town. big -- >> tariq: chicago. >> yep. [ ding ] >> steve: woah! [ cheers and applause ] for the win! >> jimmy: what kind of category is that? i have "show me the money." i have, like, "run, forest, run." you get what city are you in? [ laughter ]just came out of a coma? [ laughter ] my thanks to nathan lane and keri russell. tariq! >> thank you. >> jimmy: more tonight show after the break, everybody. i apologize for that.
53 state wins, and t-mobile... whoa, whoa, whoa. listen, folks. i have to apologize, again. look, those were last years numbers. it says right here on the card.re lte coverage in the last year. and with more lte towers than verizon,veryone they do. i'm not taking responsibility on this one...t wrong... yes! not me!
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[ cheers and applause ]rst guest is an emmy and tony award winning actor. you can currently see him in "the people versus o.j. simpson: american crime 10:00 p.m. on fx. it is fantastic. ladies and gentlemen, please ome nathan lane! cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nathan lane. oh, it's great to have you back. >> thank you.so much for being here. thank you for playing pyramid. >> oh, it was my pleasure. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back. >> thank you, well, not really. but, no, it was a pleasuving me back.
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. we'll have more for you.here because i do a lot of talk shows. but the way you pretend to care when i talk is -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, well sure. >> -- what keeps me coming back.at everyone here is so nice. everyone. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. [ cheers ] >> yes. >> jimmy: nice.d meet one new intern who seemed kind of sad. i think his name was jeb bush. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> oh, no. his mother was following him around telling everybody what a a good intern he was going to make. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. we love that guy. >> aw, it was sweet.e sorry to lose him, yeah. are you excited about oscar weekend? this is oscar weekend. >> i know, the caucasian awards. >> jimmy: yes. [ laughter ] >> of course, the annual caucasians are upon us. >> jimmy: very exciting. yeah. >> you know, obviously there's a diversity problem at the oscars this year. to comment on it than a couple of white guys. >> jimmy: yeah. perfect, yeah. [ laughter ] that's what we're here to talk about. >> plus, we could -- we could do a whole show about the lack of diversity in hollywood, but color, every actor is the same on the inside.
[ laughter ] are on sunday and right about now they're starting to apply ryan seacrest's makeup. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, that's right. [ laughter ] oh, yeah.r and watch that freak show. >> you know, to give him that not quite human look. yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. are you gonna have a big party? >> yes, every year i have a big oscar party.ned. they asked last year about the cash bar. but -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you didn learned my lesson. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and this year i'm accepting credit cards. [ laughter ] little advice for those ridiculous red carpet interviews. nobody cares who you're wearing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> ask who you're screwing and go through the roof. [ cheers and applause ]e movie of the year, of course, was jennifer lawrence in "joy." >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> it's a very intense film. it's all about selling mops.
and i have to say, the olsen ndous as the mops. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that wasn't the -- that wasn't the olsen -- >> that wasn't the olsen twins? >> jimmy: no, you gotta -- >> i think so. you better check their imdb.ay for the credits? >> i did. >> jimmy: no, you did not. >> the whole thing. you're my -- you know, you're u, my entertainment industry yoda. i have a question. [ light laughter ]aid to say it. it's been haunting me. the puppy monkey baby. >> jimmy: yeah? >> do you -- do you think it's real? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. generated, 'cause i think it's real. >> jimmy: no i think it's -- >> 'cause i was so disturbed i -- i spit up my beluga caviar. [ laughter ]were eating that during the super bowl? a very high end super bowl party. [ laughter ] the puppy monkey baby. sport. [ laughter ] but it gave me -- it gave me an >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> because, you know, come next november, i think we can make e should elect the hillary-marco-bernie. >> jimmy: yeah, this is very
who -- >> jimmy: yeah. this is -- it's a good idea. [ cheers and applause ] >> who has -- it's the head of , the body of hillary clinton and the legs of >> jimmy: yeah. >> and the guys put this together in a lab.l thing. >> i think we could make america great again one body part at a time. you're very smart. thank you, nathan lane. >> sure. >> jimmy: i wanna tell you that i love, and i already told you this, but i really love "the people versus o.j. simpson." >> i know. we had an interesting conversation backstage. tell me again why you think o.j. was innocent? i'm kidding. i'm kidding. yeah. jimmy: yeah, yeah. that's all right. yeah. >> yeah. boy, you wouldn't stop once you got going. >> jimmy: no. i got on my high horse.had a point to make. i'm loving it. >> yeah, it's great. >> jimmy: i'm loving every second of it.racter that comes in. >> great. >> jimmy: john travolta -- >> tremendous. >> jimmy: -- is unbelievable.
>> jimmy: he's got the -- he's got the eyebrows. oh, yeah, yeah. no, a tremendous production. that is the only distraction was john travolta's eyebrows. >> jimmy: yeah. 'cause it's like exactly -- >> yeah.don't get me wrong. it's a brilliant performance. and he's the literally the nicest guy in the world to work with. and the eyebrows look exactly like robert shapiro.piro's, yeah. >> but they were big. they were jurassic. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the eyebrows, they were, you know, i believe they were on loan from the groucho marx estate. [ laughter ] two chipmunks had climbed up on his forehead and quietly died. [ laughter ] one day, during lunch, i'm pretty sure i heard one of them bark. it was scary.ladies and gentlemen. and, look, and he -- look, i'm so happy for the success of the show.t helps america to learn more about the kardashian's is all right with me. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: an's what it's all about, right? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they love it. >> they're all in it. you know, khloe, kourtney, kim, hemp. [ laughter ]
yes. shemp. the little known shemp kardashian. >> jimmy: i never liked -- i never liked that kardashian. >> and kanye west is ranting about me on twitter. in 3, 2, 1.serve it. but you guys have to watch this. it's phenomenal. and you are great in everything. >> thank you. >> jimmy: but you were just great in thifantastic. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: please check it out. "the people versus o.j. simpson: american crime story" airs tuesdays at 10:00 p.m. on fx. [ cheers and applause ]oins us next. stick around. shopping for an suv? and your ford dealer is the place, to get 0% financing for 60 months on a ford suv. that's right. just announced..escape... are available with 0% financing for 60 months. ford suvs. designed to help you be unstoppable.s america's best
hey. >> hello. >> jimmy: keri. >> hello. >> jimmy: you look beautiful. you look stunning. thank you so much for being on the show. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: please. >> that's very nice of you. >> jimmy: thank you for playing pyramid, i guess.wrong. >> jimmy: dude, i totally did. [ laughter ] >> i was -- i didn't know what to do. i didn't know if i could say this. i don't wanna get into it. >> you chose wrong. . i chose -- i didn't choose the teams. is that what you mean? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't choose the teams. no, i wanna be your teammate. [ laughter ] you know, we're always -- we're every time you come on. >> we are, we are. but i was also the kid, you know, the annoying kid at tee-ball who was like playing nd was like, "she's not gonna catch that at first base. i better get over there." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's how competitive you were. >> yeah.were like all the way over there. >> i'm like, "i'm gonna go catch that!" >> jimmy: yeah. nathan lane, you guys have met. i go, "do you guys know each other?" >> yeah., oh, do you guys know each other? and turns out you almost did a a movie with him. >> we just like to take vacations together.
explain this. it's a good story.pposed to do some independent and it was shooting in london. we were staying at this fancy hotel in london and then -- >> jimmy: they send you to london to do the movie? >> right.ir money kind of fell out. and they're like, "oh, just hang tight." so it was like nathan and i going around london having wonderful dinners. and then for a few weeks doing nothing.i woke up one morning and had slipped this beautiful like short story book under my bed -- under my bed? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nathan.hat? you know, i was young. >> jimmy: and here we are, nine months later and -- [ laughter ] [ laughter ] under your door. under your door.der your door. >> under my door. >> jimmy: door, yeah. what was the note? >> and he's like i one out at home. >> jimmy: yeah, he left. he split london, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i wanna say congratulations to you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're expecting your third baby? >> it's true. >> jimmy: tht is! >> jimmy: congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so happy for you. >> thank you.
>> they are very excited. river and willa are very excited.y come up with really funny names. >> jimmy: what are the names? >> willa -- willa the 4-year-old. >> jimmy: yeah.lready decided, she instantly said yoga. we were like, um. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yoga? >> so, that's kind of what we go with, but she also says necklace, jewel necklace would as well. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: jewel necklace. yeah. >> yeah, it's an option. >> jimmy: yoga or jewel necklace. hey, they're options. they're all ly names. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] whatever the child is named. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we're happy with yoga, whatever. now you're currently shooting " right now. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and how are they working this into the plot? are they? or no? it or what? >> i know a lot of people think pregnant ladies are scary. and they can be as you must know. >> jimmy: sure, absolutely, yeah. >> but, no, they sort of hide it.ter coat wearing, even in the bedroom. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's freezing in here. yeah, yeah. >> i'm so cold. on.
excuses and raised counter tops. >> jimmy: yeah. so, you don't see ly -- >> no, it's not part of the show. i'm just carrying lots of giant salad bowels and things like that. [ laughter ], a lot of people said that i look like your co-star in "the americans." >> yeah. yeah. here's a clip. a picture that somebody sent in.m. >> jimmy: i think -- [ laughter ] and so i didn't know if that was true or not.got side by side. we got a wig and redid it. [ laughter ] and that's not bad, right? >> yeah.pplause ] well, i think we modeled that guy after you. >> jimmy: you really did. that's the character? >> yeah. >> jimmy: is that the jimmy fallon wig? >> yeah.ou like to wear a lot of guy liner, too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i really do. >> yeah. >> jimmy: can you tell us what's happening on "the americans" this season? now the kid knows. the oldest girl, the teenager, our daughter knows that we're spies. a good show. >> yeah, it's a fun show.
more -- it's less about nd more about the emotional kind of human cost of, you know, family dynamics and it's really -- it's a good show.: well, you're knocking it out of the park and i appreciate you coming back on >> thank you. thanks for having me. >> jimmy: next time i wanna talk about yoga when you come back. we love you. >> jimmy: keri russell, [ cheers and applause ] season four of "the americans" premieres march 16th at 10:00 p.m. on fx. we'll be right back with stand-up comedy from stick around! [electronic sound effects] yourself... the first ever gsf is here.
v8 engine... differential... and brembo brakes. it's the next expression of f performance, from lexus. when laquinta.com sends craig wilson a ready for you alert the second his room is ready, ya know what he becomes? great proposal! let's talk more over golf. great. tennis? even better. a game changer! the ready for you alert, only at lq.com. i got a job! i'll be programming at ge. oh i got a job too, at zazzies. (friends gasp) the app wherals? i love that! guys, i'll be writing code that helps machines communicate. (interrupting) i just zazzied you. (phone vibrates) look at it! i can do dogs, hamsters, guinea pigs... you name it. i'm going to transform the way the world works. (proudly)
my house. my house, too! my bed, my squeaky toy... my goodness is that smokymeatytasty- bacon?? you like bacon? i do backflips for bacon!bacon! i'm gonna beat you to bacon! (vo) what makes dogs do the crazy things they do? beggin' because, bacon! e to forage, got two jobs to pay a mortgage, and i've also got a brain. life's short, talk is cheap.you sleep. still don't think i've got a brain? you think a resume's enough? when things get tough? don't you want that kind of brain? a degree is a degree. someone like me.
it makes me so happy. yeah! [ cheers and applause ] i love it here.anded last night and i just feel the energy of the city. i see the lights. and i'm a world away from my husband and my kid and then -- [ cheers ]like i'm miley cyrus. [ laughter ] i'm just like, let's do it. the shirt comes off. it never comes back on. [ laughter ] i mean i put it on for now, here, for you guys.lynn rajskub and -- thank you. a lot of people still recognize me from the hit television show "24."e ] thank you. the thing is it's not really a a funny show. [ laughter ]played a computer genius who can save the world using her computer. i can't really do that. [ laughter ] -- i don't -- i don't even really know how to type.
i mean every once in a while i will type something on the show.ould just be a positive affirmation to myself. [ laughter ] on it. you look really pretty today mary."er and applause ] i'm going as fast as i can. you're doing a really good job acting. [ laughter ]od work. emmys are right around the corner. [ laughter ] the other characters would come he hacked in government files. they would just see, you are a a devine child of god. [ laughter ] love and life surround you always. [ laughter ]cted to waze. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. oh, i love it. and just relinquish control. [ laughter ] tell me where to go, waze.
a strong black man. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]love naps. i'm not talking about oh, i took a nap for 20 minutes, i'm refreshed.talking about when you can take like a three, four hour just chunk out of the day. [ cheers and applause ] you know you're doing something right in life when you can hat in the middle of the day. or maybe there is some depression. [ laughter ] i like it. i had a blackout nap the other day.t pretty good. i looked around and then i thought, my house is beautiful.i had fallen asleep in ikea. [ laughter ] in their example bed in their fake room. [ laughter ]idn't get it. i just went into the kitchen and tried to get a snack. no snacks. [ laughter ] but it really didn't sink in
a row of bathrooms. none of them were real. [ laughter ] i kind of freaked out.his happening to me? i'm an international superstar.self. [ laughter ] my husband had to calm me down. he took me to get some meatballs. i am married.obbled that together. i'm pretty proud of myself. [ laughter ] thanks. [ cheers and applause ] need to applause. it's a pretty normal thing that people do. i'm proud of myself mostly because my husband was a total rebound. [ laughter ] i -- and also he picked me up which doesn't happen to me. didn't happen -- i mean i know it's hard to believe because i d everything. [ laughter ] but guys don't pick up on me. i don't even make the right faces in life.ces where people are like, "hey, why
[ laughter ]ked me up, it was on, right? and three months into dating i was totally pregnant. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]u know what's more scary than being pregnant? having the baby. so i tried to have a natural birth but my son's head was so big.g old skull. he's a genius. [ laughter ] i mean he's like the real deal. he's not going to just pretend to be one on tv like his mom. [ laughter ]head was so big and my body was so tiny. so i had to have an emergency c section.ave that, like you're totally out of it, right? i'm on drugs. someone else is holding the baby. so i had this dramatic moment of realization. the baby? that's it? oh, i don't like it." [ laughter ] don't. is there a receipt or something?
this?? [ laughter ] oh, keep it? you just keep it. okay. we kept him. thank you. he's doing great. [ laughter ] we live in los angeles and, of course, we have no winter there. he pushed me in the pool. yeah. i went right inside. i got on my laptop and just wiped out his 529 college savings plan. [ laughter ] to get the money out. but i was so cold and wet and angry that i didn't give a a damn. i went right to the first, most site i could think of which was mercedes.com and i just bought a travel mug. [ laughter ] that's all the money i had in his savings account. you guys are looking at me like, mary lynn, you're a huge tv star. didn't you mach a lodid. and i spent that money. [ laughter ]
it's money.my son, he's cowering in the corner. i go, what are you doing? he goes, are you going try to push me in the pool? i was like, no, you'll get it. later. when you try to go to college. [ laughter ] don't touch mommy's coffee mug. that's special. thanks a lot you guys. e ] >> jimmy: mary lynn rajskub.nd applause ] catch her at the comedy zone in jacksonville, florida march 3rd through the 5th. everybody.
[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] 30 rockefeller plaza in seth meyers." john oliver, from "saturday night live", cooking cheeseburgers with chef april bloomfield, g the 8g band with jaleel bunton. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers!nd applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight?pplause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the new hampshire primary was today and in dixville notch, thewn to complete voting, republican candidate john kasich