tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 8, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST
p[ cheers and applause ] p p>> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the phost in case you've forgotten. pthank you for coming. pbefore we get started, did any pof you here in your studio paudience happen to see, what did pthey call that again? psuper bowl? pthe super bowl last night? p[ cheers and applause ] pi'm going to be honest, my pjacket doesn't fit after pyesterday. pi'm going to open it. pand really just relax. pdoes anyone here not know who pwon the game? pokay. pspoiler ar lert then, i want to pbe courteous. plast night an estimated 112 pmillion americans watched the pdenver broncos beat the carolina anthers. pit was the third most watched psuper bowl ever. pyou know what the most-watched psuper bowl ever was?
pthe game pitted the number one poffense against the number one pdefense. pthe defense prevailed. pthe broncos won despite the fact pthat puppymonkeybaby had more pyards passing than peyton pmanning. pwhat is the deal? pthree different commercials for pdie later, constipation, and ptoenail fung gus. penjoy your nachos and don't take poff your shoes. pthis is peyton manning's second psuper bowl title and his family pwas
there in a box cheering for phim, including brother eli who phas two super bowl rings himself pas quarterback for the new york pgiants. pwatch eli's reaction as the pbroncos scored a touchdown in pthe fourth quarter. p>> the manning family. p>> jimmy: that to me seemed like pthe look of someone who had pmoney on the panthers, didn't pit? p[ laughter ]
p>> jimmy: this is an interesting pcontrast. pthis is how tom brady celebrated pon the field after he won the psuper bowl last year. pby kissing his supermodel wife pgisele. pthere is how peyton manning pcelebrated last night. pby kissing papa john. p[ laughter ] p[ cheers and applause ] p>> jimmy: nice. phe must really love pizza. phow many free bread sticks can pone man eat? pdid you see
any -- oh, this was pa real interesting random pcelebrity sighting. pthis celebrity -- watch the man pwho passes by in the background phere. p>> past super bowl mvp who won pthe super bowl mvp award when pthe game was played in his phometown of san diego, c.j. pfelt. phe was trying to -- p>> jimmy: was that suge knight? pisn't he supposed to be in rison?
pour hands here. pwe had ve a real-life super bowl pchampion with us da, marcus ware pfrom the broncos. p[ cheers and applause ] palso tonight, from the movie p"room," the favorite to win the poscar for best actress this year pbrie larson is here with us. p[ cheers and applause ] pon top of all that it is mash-up pmonday where we mash two musical pacts to form one glorious pun, a un-hit wonder. ptonight we combine neon trees pand squeeze to form neon squeeze phere on the show. p[ cheers and applause ] phow many of you went to or phosted a super bowl party last pnight? pi hosted -- i'll tell you psomething. pfor me it's not a super bowl arty without two things. pa bowl of raisins and a pitcher pof water. pyou know? pis that just me? phere's a super bowl party that psounded interesting, a real ad pfrom craigslist in chicago.
pfree booze. pwe're having a super bowl party pand require a clown. pyou don't have to do anything pexcept get drunk and be a clown. pmaybe someone will have sex with pyou after. pno pay but you are encouraged to pget blackout drunk. pdon't worry, we won't do panything weird to you after you ass out. panyway, we did investigating. pyou know turns out whose party pthis is? pthis was? poprah's. poprah winfrey's super bowl arty. psince she stopped doing the show pshe's really cutting loose. p[ laughter ] p[ cheers and applause ] p>> jimmy: did any of you not pwatch the games last night? pokay. pa couple. pthere are 320 million people in pthe united states, they say 112 pmillion watched the super bowl. pwhich means more than 200 pmillion people do not watch the psuper bowl. pi don't know who these maniacs pare. pi very much hope the department pof homeland security is keeping pan eye on them. pthe super bowl is what most peveryone's talking about today. pso for those of you who missed pit i'm going to break down what phappened.
arty yesterday. pemoji. pjoin me and we'll break it all pdown. pall right. pso -- first of all, the broncos layed the panthers in super pbowl 50. pin san francisco. pmy cousin sal ran the super bowl ool at my house. psome of my friends had a lot of pmoney. pon the panthers. plady gaga sang the national panthem. pit was good. pbut it really lasted forever. pi made smoked chicken wings. pthe game was kind of boring puntil beyonce showed up. pat this point my friends who bet pon the panthers weren't just pbuzzed, they were hammered. pfinal score was broncos 24, anthers 10. pand after the game peyton pmanning said he would drink a
pand then he kissed papa john. pso there you go. pthere you have it, that's what phappened. p[ cheers and applause ] pthat was my house during the psuper bowl. pso this super bowl was -- p>> wait! p>> jimmy: what? p>> the super bowl was yesterday? p>> jimmy: yeah. p>> super bowl 50? p>> jimmy: yeah, super bowl 50, pwhy? p>> oh my god. pi was too late. pi traveled back too late! p>> jimmy: what do you mean you ptraveled back too late? p>> i'm a time traveler! pi'm from the year 2525! pall my training, all my years at pthe academy and i failed! pi failed again! p>> jimmy: don't say that, were pyou going to kill a murderer plike hitler or something like pthat? p>> no, nothing like that. p>> jimmy: were you going to make pa big bet and you'd be itch and pyour family would be rich pforever? p>> no! p>> jimmy: oh. pwhat were you going to do?
pbackup dancer for bruno mars! p[ cheers and applause ] p>> jimmy: i'm sorry. pbut just -- for my own pcuriosity, why bruno mars, why pnot beyonce? p>> i don't know who that is. p>> jimmy: you don't know who pbeyonce is? p>> oh about it bruno mars! p>> jimmy: wow. p>> since i was a boy in the pfuture i've dreamed of joining pbruno on stage at the super bowl pin the year 2016. pand together we will dance to p"uptown funk," the hottest hit pof 2014! p>> jimmy: sorry that didn't work pout, that's a bummer. pcan't you just get in your time pmachine and go back a day and a phalf? p>> no! pi destroyed it! p>> jimmy: why did you destroy pit? p>> i don't know! pi make bad decisions! p>> jimmy: oh. pwell, maybe -- would it make you pfeel better if you did the pbackup dancing for me? p[ cheers and applause ]
p[ cheers and applause ] p>> jimmy: just stand behind me pand you can do whatever dance pyou worked on for all that p>> just watch! p>> jimmy: yeah, all right. pso how many did you train for pthis? pten straight years! p>> jimmy: it's really -- i tell pyou, i only wish i could turn paround and see it. pwell, you're doing a great job. phey, we have to take a break. pwhen we come back we have a new pepisode of "the bachelor" to pexplore. pi'm tempted to let this go on pfor a while. p[ cheers and applause ] p>> jimmy: we'll go through the phottest moments ever from psaturday night. pwe'll be right back. pstick around. p[ cheers and applause ] p little boxes, in the foodp store little boxes filled with tickyntacky
p little boxes all the same. some have food dyes andp syrups and are made withr preservatives so we end up made of tickyp tacky and we all feel just thep same. but what if, the little p boxes were never made with any tickyntacky? n but fruits, nuts, and spices n only real food all the same. there's a green one and a bluenone a purple one and a yellow p one and they're only made withp real food, n only real food all the same. little boxes, in the foodp store, n little boxes we can change. p la
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p>> jimmy: still to come, pdemarcus ware and mashup monday. pmusic from neon squeeze is on pthe way. panother episode on "the pbachelor" tonight. pthis is week six, a special
pweek. pweek six, that means the pbachelor season has officially plasted longer than most botch plar relationships. pthis is where it really gets pspecial. pben and the ladies travel to the pbahamas this weekend. pmuch of the drama centered paround olivia. pthere's always a crazy one. pben had a very strong connection pwith olivia. pon the earth women do not like pher because, well, she's kind of pterrible. pand so olivia tonight got the ax pon the dreaded two on one date. pthe two on one date is always puncomfortable because one of the pwomen on the date is definitely pgoing home.
pbody language here. phowever this winds up going, pthose two are going to be pfriends fare friend ps for a very long time. pben, olivia and
emily went to a rivate island, olivia told ben pshe was in love women him, ben ptold her he was not. p>> what i thought ben wanted was peverything that i am. pbut -- i guess not. p>> jimmy: okay, that is my pfavorite thing they do on the pshow. pthe two on one dump. pthe bachelor tells one of the pwomen she's staying and then pleaves the other one all alone pin some desolate place. plast year the bachelor chris pleft ashley s. on a dirt pile pand flew off in a helicopter. pbeach. pso he rides off in the boat. pand i guess all olivia can do is phope they shoot "bachelor in
psomeone comes to save her. pat the road ceremony ben breaks panother woman's heart, he sent pthe kindergarten teacher lauren ph. on. phe did not desert her on an pisland, he walked her to her plimo. psomething i've not seen, pay pattention to the end of the clip phere. p>> i'm sorry. p>> good luck. p>> jimmy: all right, watch right phere. pshe get in the car. pand you see there's a sound guy pin the back seat. pyou never realize when they take pthese women away crying, not ponly is there a camera guy in pthe front seat, there's a sound pguy sitting right next to her in pthe back. pthis particular sound guy was in pthe shot for quite a while. p>> i don't really get it.
pwhat he wanted. pwhy is it so hard to fall in plove? pthey don't get me, they don't pwant me -- p>> i get you, i want you. p>> i was trying to fall in love pwith him. p>> i can make you happy. pi have a job. pi'm a sound guy on a very opular show. p>> jimmy: sometimes you find plove where you least expect it. p[ cheers and applause ] pspeaking of reality shows. pthe new hampshire primary is ptomorrow. pon saturday abc news hosted the peighth republican debate. pthe big moment as you probably phave seen is at the givening. pben carson didn't come out pbecause he couldn't hear his pname when he was introduced. phe messed up his entrance, that pmessed up everyone else's pentrances too. pwatch this, this is a pfive-carson pileup. pchris christie was the first
p>> new jersey governor chris pchristie. p>> jimmy: here he comes no bell. roblem. pafter that ben carson's name. pand oh -- oh, let me help out phere. pben! pben, they called your name, it's ptime to come on out! pben? pokay, ben's not -- you know pyou're not supposed to wake a psleepwalker. p>> ted cruz -- p>> no, no, ted -- ted, wait -- pted -- all right, ted. pso ben, you've got to -- it's ptime for you to come out now. ptell him to come -- the guy's ptelling -- all right. panyway. pben? phere comes donald trump. pdonald, you're -- no, no, not pmarco rubio! pguys, guys. pyou're supposed to -- you're psupposed to be out there now. punderstand? pdonald! p>> former florida governor -- p>>. p>> jimmy: no, it's not jeb!
pguys? pi don't know what's going on pheerl. phere. pyou're supposed to be on the -- pnow there's two spots empty. p>> see if he's standing there as pwell, dr. carson. p>> jimmy: no, there's two empty pspots. poh, now he's -- all right. pnow you've got to go out. pwait a minute. pwhat's he doing back here now? p>> welcome back to the main pstage, donald trump. p>> jimmy: donald, you -- donald pgoes out there and we're left pwith him. pwhat about him? pwho is this by the way? p>> we're going to introduce ohio pgovernor john kasich. p>> jimmy: oh, all right, it's pjohn kasich. pall right. pall right, now we can watch the pdebates again. pone of the greatest clips ever. pwe have a good show. p"mashup monday," music from neon psqueeze. pfrom the super bowl pchampion denver broncos, pdemarcus ware is here, and we'll
pso stick around! p[ cheers and applause ] p p>> announcer: portions of "jimmy pkimmel live" are brought to you pby mountain dew kick-start. pdew. pjuice. pcaffeine. [richard] a thousand people winp one thousand dollars. every day at h&r block. you can still win. get in on this. it's refund season. wassup? i'm hannibal
katz's deli pastrami sandwich. (katz's employees) hey!!! hey what's up? hey can i pay with my phone? you mean like apple pay? we don't got that. no like samsung pay. even on this he wants to pay with his phone. whadda ya want hannibal? i want to pay with my phone. don't look at the cameras mike. it doesn't work. boom! oh! samsung pay is here and pretty much everywhere else. p this is a script, not
for wall street because it's riggedt by wall street. and that's the problem. as long as washington is bought and paid for, we can't build an economy that works for people. sanders: i'm bernie sanders, and i approve this message. r one of the areas that r i've been particularlyt interested in ris the area of children. we intend to be sure thatr everybody
in this room and every child in this statet is somebody. no matter where they're born,pno matter to whom they are born. ri want to make sure that every child has a chance to live up to his or herr god-given potential. r i've spent my life fighting for children, and i'm not stopping now. i'm hillary clinton, tand i have always approved this message.
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pthank you for joining us
for the pvoting in dixville notch, new phampshire. pjennifer: let' s head right out pto ray brewer who is live in pdixville notch. p>> we are about to watch the pfirst ballot being cast. pin casting the first ballot was pjust stevens, who is the roduction manager supervisor pfor renovations here at the pbalsams. pthere are total of nine ballots pthat will be cast. p>> it has been moved and pseconded. pthose in favor say aye.
pconcluded here at dixville notch p. pit took less than a minute pthere. pthere are nine ballots, eight eople actually casting ballots phere at the hale house. pwhat will happen now is they pwill take the balance to the plibrary and then they will be pback here. pwe' re told the process will robably take two or three pminutes. ptom: ray brewer is in dixville pnotch and we are now waiting for pthe ballots to be
counted. pwe understood that perhaps pcandidate john kasich may try to pmake it up there for the vote phere he did he make it through pthe rough weather and is he pthere? pray: he hasn' t made it yet. pwe don' t know if you still pintending to make a showing here pare not. pwe don' t know if the snowstorm i phave impacted or changed his lans. pjennifer: obviously a crush of pmedia. pi' m curious what the discussion
pray: why the things is there pwondering how these nine people pcan have such an impact, but pthey have been gathering here. pwe' ve talked to people from pdenmark and other countries as pwell, international media. pinternational papers like the pnew york times also here as pwell, as some of the other media lays. pthey are just trying to get a pfeel for what dixville notch is pall about. ptom: all of these towns to pqualify for midnight voting in pnew hampshire. pthey can
get permission to open pthe polls at the stroke of pmidnight on primary day. pdixville notch has been doing it pfor the longest time. pnew this year is millsfield. pjennifer: and dixville exists as pa town just for voting purposes. pit took about 30 seconds for all
pthey are counting of the results pand we expect those to be preturned momentarily. ptom: they allow those towns to pvote early in the early days pbecause there were people in pjobs like railroads and other pthings and they wanted them to pbe available to vote early. plet' s listen in here. p>> here we go with the results. pwe have the results. pwe have for donald they -- pdonald trump, 2 two. pfor john kasich, we have three. pthat was all of the republican pvotes. pon the democratic side, we have p4 votes cast for bernie sanders.
pquick so there you have it, pthere are the results from pdixville notch the polls showed pa big lead for bernie sanders. pgovernor kasich has been talking pabout feeling the people coming pon come the strength of his pcampaign and momentum building. pdixville notch has now spoken. pjohn kasich eking out donald ptrump by one vote, 3-2. pnow i guess we will wait to hear pwhat the rest of new hampshire phas to say. ptom: take a look at the numbers, pjohn kasich governor of ohio pwith three votes, donald trump pwith 2, and bernie sanders with p4. pa total of nine votes cast ptonight in dixville notch. pjennifer: a tradition we look pforward to and it' s interesting pto see carried out.
pwmur.com. pyou can take a closer look at psome sample ballots and get peverything you need right on pwmur.com. p>> the new hampshire secretary pof state expecting high voter pturnout today. pand if you' re not registered to s not too late. pyou can register on site. pyou will have to show proof of pwhere you live. pundeclared voters will be pallowed to choose either a pdemocrat or a republican ballot. pbut if you are already pregistered as a democrat or prepublican, it is too late to pchange your affiliation. pand remember voter i.d. rules pare in effect for those already pregistered. pyou' ll find all the registration prules and information on polling psites. peverything you need to know is pat wmur.com. pthat' s it for this special new phampshire votes midnight pcoverage. pthe midnight vote from dixville pnotch. pnews 9 daybreak begins at 5:00 pa.m.
p[captioning performed by the pnational captionin talking about -- never pmind. pyou know what the odds in las pvegas are on your -- you winning pthe academy award? p>> i don't. pi didn't pay attention to that. pbut -- p>> jimmy: they're way better pthan the broncos' were pyesterday. p>> the broncos? p[ laughter ] p>> oh, thank you! pnow i don't have to be pembarrassed already. p>> jimmy: like we're playing p"password" here. p>> it's not a she that is coming pon the show? p>> jimmy: it's a man, yeah. pthey don't have any female layers on the team. pit's very sectionist. p>> they don't? pthat's super weird. cougars. pinteresting. pi watched the puppy bowl which pis pretty exciting. pi thought i was going to be on p>> jimmy: why? p>> because -- well, because i pmade a mistake. p>> jimmy: what was the mistake?
pof this celebrity football game. pand i was like, oh, it's before pthe football game, it's before pthe super bowl, they're not pgoing to actually have us play, pit's going to be us talking and pa camera going around, we're phere. pi didn't realize until i got pthere and they like handed me a pjersey, oh, no. p>> jimmy: when was this? p>> like three, four years ago. p>> jimmy: okay. p>> and i -- p>> jimmy: i know what this game pis. p>> eli manning was my coach. p>> jimmy: eli manning, okay, pyeah. p>> warren moon was also on the pteam. pand i immediately was like, i pgot to learn how to play pfootball, i guess. i pdidn't know who were the pcelebrities and who were the pfootball players. pwould you play ball with me? pwarren moon was like, sure. pi had no idea who he was. phe starts passing it back and pforth to me. pi'm trying to be okay with pcatching things. pthen we played like a live game. pand the whole time we'd do these plike huddles where you get real pclose. p>> jimmy: that's what they call pthem, yarchlts getting close ptogether and warren would keep
pweapon! pi was like, no, no. pno, no, that's not what's phappening right now. phe was like, i watched her on pthe field! pi was like, i just threw a pfootball for the first time, pthere's no way you thought i was pjoking. phe thought maybe i was joking to ptrip up the other team but i preally was that bad. pit wasn't a move. p>> jimmy: did he pass the ball pto you during the game? p>> the final -- we needed like pone more pass to win. pand i was open. pthat's the correct term? p>> jimmy: that's right, yeah. p>> i was open and he had this pmoment where he could, it's all pin slow motion for me because peverything's like a movie. phe could have had this moment, pshe could look and should i run pwith this? plook at me, throw it. phe ended up just running. pimmediately got tackled, we lost pthe game. phe was so sad the whole time. phe was like, i knew larson was pthe secret weapon, i screwed it pup. pi was like, whoo, yeah, you pscrewed that one up, i would phave gotten that one all the way phome for sure. pso i got to be the hero that pnever got to be the hero and i
p>> jimmy: in a way you weren't peven really the hero. pbut i think that's a positive pway of looking at it. p>> really i was the hero. p>> jimmy: your team lost, right? p>> but i was the hero. pyeah. pyeah. p>> i learned how to play pfootball, kind of. pthe i would love to find this pfootage. pi think the whole thing's live. pon the field, i don't know what pto do, i don't know what to do! phe's like, just go! pi don't know which way to run, pthat's a problem. pthat's a big issue. pif you don't know which pdirection you're supposed to go. p>> jimmy: you know what would be pgreat at the oscars when they pshow the clip of movie, instead pyou supply a clip of you playing pfootball from this event. p>> is that a good idea? p>> jimmy: it's a real good idea. p>> i'm all about pknow. p>> jimmy: you're the hero. pthing. p>> jimmy: yeah, just something pto think about. p>> i'll think about it. p>> jimmy: you're a big favorite. pand by the way, deservedly so, pmovie. p[ cheers and applause ] p>> yeah. p>> yeah.
pit's super weird and cool. p>> jimmy: it is super weird. pdo you want to stay out for the pfootball player from the team? pdo you remember what the team pwas? p>> the -- broncos. pi love the broncos. p>> you're more than welcome. por you can run. pxhnchts way p>> which way, though? pthat's the thing, i don't know, pi don't remember how i came in phere. p>> jimmy: we'll discuss it pduring the commercials. p"room" is in theaters right now, pbrie is on the oscars sunday, pfebruary 28th, 7:00 eastern, p4:00 pacific here on abc.
only at priceless.com. folks, you can't make this stuff up. four bandits chose a prius as their getaway car. bravo-niner, in pursuit of a toyota prius. over. how hard is it to catch a prius?v over. this thing is actuallyr pretty fast. over. t very funny. p oh look, a farmer's market. we should get some flowerst for the car. v yeah! vholly!
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life as spokesbox is great. people love me for saving them over half a grand when they switch to progressive. so i'm dabbling in new ventures. it was board-game night with the dalai lama. great guy. terrible player. go paperless don't stress, girl i got the discounts that you need it's a balancing act, but i got to give the people what they want -- more box. any words for the critics? what can i say? critties gonna neg. [ applause ] the what?!
p[ cheers and applause ] p>> jimmy: welcome back. pdemarcus ware and neon squeeze pare on the way. pyesterday during the game, pmountain dew kickstart pintroduced the world to uppymonkeybaby: an endearing pcreature that has changed the plives of millions, including pthat of our very own guillermo. p>> guillermo: hi i'm guillermo. pmy football party was boring. peveryone fell asleep. pbut then, puppymonkeybaby showed pup with mountain dew kickstart pand everybody started dancing plike crazy white people. p>> i'm guillermo's wife joelle. pnot only did puppymonkeybaby
plove because puppymonkeybaby is pvery sexy. pmucho sexo. p>> i'm guillermo's son, chunky. pi'm very happy puppymonkeybaby pis my new daddy. pi love puppymonkeybaby. p>> i love puppymonkeybaby. p>> guillermo: puppymonkeybaby p>> together: and can save yours p>> guillermo: and also steal pyour wife. p[ cheers and applause ] p>> announcer: like uppymonkeybaby mountain dew pkickstart is three awesome pthings combined: dew, juice, and pcaffeine. pnow in tasty new flavors like pmidnight grape. p>> jimmy: we'll be right back pwith demarcus ware! man, i might just chillvtonight. r r r puppymonkeybaby... r puppymonkeybaby...
...monkey... v...baby r r puppymonkeybaby... r r dew. juice. caffeine. p tarzan know where tarzan go! tarzan does not know wheret tarzan go. they, excuse me, t t no, me tarzan, tking of jungle. why don't you want to justt ask somebody? r p r r r on car
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lease welcome demarcus ware. p[ cheers and applause ] p p>> jimmy: well, first of all, pcongratulations. phow are you doing? p>> good, good, good. p>> jimmy: how much sleep did you pget last night? p>> maybe two hours of sleep. pcoming. p>> two hours' sleep, feel great, pawesome. p>> jimmy: what guess on after pyou win the super bowl? p>> a lot of partying, confetti, pand guys still have hennessey pbottles out right now. p>> jimmy: where does the party phappen? p>> actually, at the hotel. pit was like an after after party pdowntown. pi couldn't make that because i'm phere right now. pyou. pdo you think there are still pguys there? p>> they're still there right pground. p>> jimmy: did you hold it in one
phave the banquet facility? p>> the banquet facility. p>> jimmy: did peyton bring papa pjohn to the party? p>> maybe he kissed him while he pwas there. p>> jimmy: are you still happy? pdid you make fun of him for pkissing papa john? p>> i just seen that. pthat would be a good photoshop pgoing on when i get become to pthe locker room and put it in peverybody's locker. p[ cheers and applause ] p>> jimmy: the parade is tomorrow pmorning. p>> yes. p>> jimmy: are you excited about pthat? pthe parade? p>> i am. pit's so many denver fans, pthey've been wanting it so bad. pwe didn't do too well two years pago. p>> jimmy: this year was up and pdown. preally it's shocking how the pseason turned out. p>> we pulled it out. p>> jimmy: you got -- you have plegalized recreational pmarijuana. p>> that's a different story pright there. p>> jimmy: i hope people remember pto show up for the parade. pfolks? pi know we're celebrating but pthere's nothing sadder than a
pso please, remember to show up. p>> it will be a little slower, a plittle slower. p>> jimmy: brie didn't mention pshe's a big, big fan of yours pand the super bowl -- p>> love it! pcouldn't stop talking about it! p>> jimmy: every sunday she's pright there in front of -- p>> i mean, you know, i watch pmovies all the time. pand i said, it's just so awesome pto see her on "compton." pbam! pit is what it is. pit's good. pyou know, with "room" and the pnomination that you got is pto see that. p[ cheers and applause ] p>> i can't believe it. p>> jimmy: demarcus looks a plittle bit like the oscar. p>> just like it. p>> jimmy: he could be living on pyour shelf at home. pthis has nothing to do with pfootball. pyou tweeted something that i was pvery interested in. psaid something to the effect of pyou tweeted a picture of shelves pand said you're obsessed with pshelves. p>> you move into a new condo,
pgo to ikea. pyou go in there, i'm not going pto pay $300 and make them put it ptogether. pyou don't know it's an a to z pdeal that you have to put ptogether. p>> jimmy: right. p>> and i said, to hell with pthese shelves. pthat's what i said. pto be honest with you. p>> jimmy: you're anti-shelves? p>>ian anti-shelves. p>> jimmy: wow, this is a pdifferent thing, i didn't prealize. p>> you're pro-shelves just not pthe ones you have to make pyourself. p>> jimmy: it's a good thing you pget a ring, not a trophy. p>> exactly, exactly. p>> poor shelves. pworst thing ever. pcongrats on the super bowl, phere's your ikea shelves. p>> jimmy: that would be a
real pwin for ikea though. p>> right, right. p>> jimmy: is it fun? pcertainly in the super bowl when pyou sack the quarterback. pbut sacking a man, that seems to pme like it would be -- pachievements in athletics, that pwould be one of the best, isn't pit? p>> you know, it's for me -- i
pfor me, getting to the pquarterback, taking him down, pthat's my touchdown. p>> jimmy: yeah. p[ cheers and applause ] p>> jimmy: when you pounce on the pman and then you have him down pon the
ground -- p>> yes. p>> that's super weird. pas someone who does not know psuper bowl that sounds super pweird. p>> jimmy: it is weird. pthese men are chasing each other pall over the place. pwhen you tackle the guy, you're pfamiliar with this, of course. pwhen you tackle him, you have phim on the ground, do you speak pto him, say anything? p>> you know, actually, when i phit him, it's like oof! pit takes the brett breath away. p>> jimmy: the quarterback? p>> that's gratifying to me. pi know that i got it, yeah. p>> it sounds weirder as you go pon. p>> jimmy: it's sounding weird? p>> it's getting worse the more pyou talk about it. pmore interesting to watch than i ponce thought. p>> jimmy: do you ever hear a plittle yelp? pa whimper of any kind? p>> you know what --
pgo, agh! p>> a guy screeched one time. pi'm not going to call out the pquarterback's name. phe didn't see me, i hit him so phard, he was like, agh! p[ laughter ] p[ cheers and applause ] pthe first time i ever heard pthat. p>> jimmy: you won't mention that pguy? p>> jimmy: wow, all right. p>> jimmy: yeah. p>> no, i'm not going to do that. p>> jimmy: i'd love to know. pwas it tony romo? p>> no, it wasn't tony romo. pno, not -- no, no. p>> jimmy: it was not tony romo. p>> not tony. p>> jimmy: okay, because i've pheard him squeak a couple of ptimes. p>> it wasn't tony this time. p>> jimmy: okay, all right. pcan i go through all the pquarterbacks and we'll figure pout who it was? p>> no. p>> jimmy: all right, so you got pthe super bowl -- by the way, pdid you know what peyton pannounced, did you know that he pwas going to say that, that he pwas retiring at the parade? p>> when did you hear this? p>> jimmy: just like right pbefore --
p>> jimmy: i don't know, i'm pfishing, i'm making things up. pthat's what i do for a living, pyeah. pdo you think peyton is going to pretire after this? p>> you know, i don't know. pbut i just know that, him pwinning this game put him on ptop. pif he is going to do it, this is pa great time to do it. pif he wants to play a little bit pmore, i feel like he still has a plittle bit in the tank. p>> jimmy: was it peyton manning pwho made that noise when you psacked him? p>> no. p>> jimmy: it was not? p>> you're still fishing. pbut guess what. phe did have the same type of pjersey on, i'll give you that. p>> jimmy: oh, whoa! pwas it jake plummer? p>> no, you got to go back a plittle bit further. proyal blue. p>> jimmy: oh. p>> wait a second -- we're pgetting closer -- p>> jimmy: oh my god. phe wore an 18 also? p>> he wore 18. p>> jimmy: oh my god. pi should know this. pwho is it?
p>> jimmy: that's a restaurant. pyou can't tackle a restaurant. p>> that's what i thought you pwere talking about this whole ptime. izza place, ribs place? p>> jimmy: we're going to figure pit out. pcongratulations, it's great to psee you. p[ cheers and applause ] p>> jimmy: thank you for staying pout with us. pbrie larson and demarcus ware, peverybody. pthe super bowl champion. pwe'll be right back with neon psqueeze! p>> announcer: the jimmy kimmel plive concert series is presented
rin the middle of a time when senior poverty is increasing. p republicans and some democrats came up with a brilliant idea for cutting cost-of-livingpadjustments for social security. we said, "it will ber over our dead bodies p if you cut social security." as president,ri will do everything i can to extend the solvencytof social security i'm bernie sanders,
p>> announcer: the jimmy kimmel plive concert series is presented pby samsung. p>> jimmy: i'd like to thank pbrie larson, demarcus ware and papologize to matt damon we ran pout of time. p"nightline" is next but first pit's mash-up monday and here pwith the song "tempted" - neon psqueeze! p p i bought a toothbrush psome toothpaste pa flannel for my face p
pa hair brush pnew shoes and a case p i said to my reflection plet's get out of this place p passed the church and pthe steeple pthe laundry on the hill p billboards pand the buildings pmemories of it still pkeep calling p keep calling and calling p but forget it all pi know i will p tempted by the fruit pof another ptempted but the truth pis discovered p what's been going on pnow that you have gone p there's no other ptempted by the fruit pof another p
p i'm at the car park pthe airport pthe baggage carousel p the people keep on crying pand wishing i was well p i said it's no occasion pit's no story i could tell p at my bedside pempty pockets pa foot without a sock pi fumble for the clock p alarmed by the seduction p i wish pthat it would stop p tempted by the fruit pof another ptempted but the truth pis discovered p what's been going on pnow that you have gone
there's no other ptempted by the fruit pof another p tempted but the ptruth is discovered p i bought a novel psome perfume pa fortune all for you p but it's not pmy conscience pthat hates to be untrue p i asked of my reflection ptell me what is there to do
p tempted by the fruit pof another pis discovered p what's been going on pnow that you have gone p there's no other pof another tempted but the
p tempted by the fruit of panother p tempted but the ptruth is discovered p tempted but the ptruth is discovered p tempted by the fruit pof another p tempted yay p tempted but the ptruth is discovered p tempted i been tempted tempted pby the fruit of another p i been tempted by the fruit of panother p what's been going on now that