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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  February 29, 2016 12:05am-1:07am EST

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all members of the academy who are eligible are invited to vote their nominations for best picture. in most other categories, the nominations are decided by a vote of the members working in that specific category. then the entire membership chooses from those nominations the recipients of the oscars. and finally, the results of all
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>> right now a police officer duty. >> my first reaction is shock. and just an incredible sense of loss. >> tonight the community is mourning the loss of officer ashley glyndon a graduate of
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>> a sinkhole opens up in new durham, swallowing a car. right now the road is shut down while crews make repairs. >> another mild day coming up and the threat of rain showers. when the rain arrives and tracking another mid week storm, coming up. >> and the academy has chosen the best films of the year. a recap of the top moments for hollywood's billingest night. a recap of the top moments for hollywood's biggest night. >> tonight granite staters are mourning the death of a police officer shot and killed during her first day on duty. 28-year-old officer ashley glyndon graduated from merrimack high school back in 2005. yesterday she responded to a domestic incident in virginia when the suspect opened fire. good evening, new hampshire. >> tonight an army staff sergeant is held on murder
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three officers. glyndon later died of her injuries at the hospital and the other officers are expected to recover. tonight she is remembered for her service. >> she clearly had a passion to serve others. in a way that went beyond herself. >> this affs sad day for everybody in this room. it's a sad day for law enforcement. but we are going to investigate pending. >> the suspect's wife 29-year-old crystal hamilton called 911 but was shot and killed before officers arrived. the alleged gunman, 32-year-old ronald hamilton, works at the pentagon. right now he is being held in jail facing two murder charges. the county prosecutor says he will likely seek the death penalty. >> the 28-year-old officer was a marine corps reservist who earned her masters degree in forensic science. tonight there was a candlelight vigil in her honor. people left flowers on her police cruiser. she was born in springfield,
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later moved to merrimack where she attended high school. wmur tells us how the community there is remembering her tonight. >> merrimack police officers were among the first to learn of ashley's death and the message board outside the department honors her as the community copes with the loss. the flag outside the merrimack police department has been lowered to half staff who grew up in town. she was shot. officers here brought the news to her family. >> a short time later we were called and notified that away. we responded back and stood by and have remained providing support for the family here based in new hampshire. >> she graduated from merrimack
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>> my first reaction is shock. and just an incredible sense of loss. >> principal ken johnson says guindon's death is felt by many at the high school. in the 2005 year book guindon left her classmates with a quote. "live for something rather than die for nothing." >> we have a motto. believe, go forward, and inspire. we like to believe that not only did ashley embrace that motto but she personified it as well. not only is this a personal story about a young woman who was on her first day but also a class that has experienced more than its share of loss. >> police say they'll support the family however they can. >> when a fellow officer is killed in the line of duty, it
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another throughout the country. and, you know, our hearts go out to the family. >> moments of silence will be held at merrimack high school on monday. the principal says they will also honor ashley at graduation this year. in merrimack, wmur, news 9. >> thank. the governor released a statement on officer guindon's death saying "the death of prince william officer ashley guindon is a solemn reminder that every day our first responders courageously put their lives on the line to protect others. whenever one of our law enforcement officers makes the ultimate sacrifice in the line of duty it cuts through the very fabric of our society. " loved ones, the prince william county community, and people across the country in mourning her trajectory ek loss. the two other injured officers are in the hospital tonight but should make full recoveries. we'll continue to follow the story with any new developments
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memorial service for officer guindon. >> another story of deep sadness and sorrow, a new hampshire state trooper died last night after battling cancer for a year. lieutenant james garrity of bedford was 53 years old, a 24-year veteran of the new hampshire state police and served eight years in the major crime unit. his colleagues say he was a model officer and humble man. they call him an amazing mentor and leader whose legacy will live on for many years. >> we don't have the access day in and day out to meet with lieutenant garrity and seek his counsel to brief him on a case or to share a laugh but day in and day out his legacy lives on here at state police headquarters and thrawout this state and throughout new england for all of the sacrifices he has made and for his dedication without compromise all of his years. >> lieutenant garrity is survived by his wife and four children. his services currently are being planned. senator kelly ayotte released a statement today.
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of lieutenant garrity's passing after his courageous battle with cancer. jim was a dear friend and fearless leader. i am very grateful for his incredible service to the state of new hampshire and our nation. my thoughts and prayers are with his family at this difficult time." >> right now a road is closed after a water main burst. it caused part of the road to collapse and the sinkhole opened up just a is a couple from alton was driving offer it. gregory ward and his wife were running errands around 12:20 sunday afternoon and driving on mary meeting lake road when the unexpected happened. >> we were heading out for lunch and stopped at the stop sign and the road fell out from under us. >> a large sinkhole opened up at the foot of mary meeting lake just as ward was driving over it. new hampshire department of transportation officials say one of the two main water mains that feeds the nearby fishing game fish hatchary broke,
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that left crews with a mess and damage to his car. >> just a big bang and blew out the tires on the car. managed to keep going enough to get it out of the hole and off to side of the road. that was it. we had to stop and change tires right there. >> neither ward nor his wife were hurt in the accident and he considers himself lucky. >> it could have been a lot worse but, hey. we're fine. >> mary meeting lake road is closed at the intersection of powder mill road while crews repair the sinkhole. officials say the road should be back open tomorrow morning. >> a new york woman is in custody tonight after allegedly buying gift cards in a bedford store with a stolen credit card. police say an off duty officer spotted 24-year-old tiffany buchanan at home goods buying several gift cards with a fake name and stolen bank information. officers pulled buchanan over and charged her with a fraudulent use of a credit card. she will be arraigned tomorrow and is being held on $10,000
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well, we hope you enjoyed the warm sunday outdoors. many people enjoyed the spring like temperatures in livingston park today. meteorologist lapointe tells us if the weather will stick around. >> it's incredible. temperatures today again were close to 60 degrees in some southern communities. we got to # 5 in nashua, 57 in manchester. about # 5 in concord. it's even a somewhat mild night, too, still in the 40's and 342 degrees in laconia. some 20's in plymouth and whitefield at this hour. you see the rain showers out by buffalo and toronto. that line a cold front eventually is going to sweep through and bring us rain showers for monday. look at the temperatures tomorrow again in the 50's. about 52 degrees in concord.
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showers coming through in the mid morning until about the midday hours. i'll show you the full hour by hour forecast coming up. >> thanks so much. despite worries about thin ice, officials say there were no safety issues during the great meredith rotary ice fishing derby in new hampshire this weekend. about 3400 people fished in this year's derby down one-third from last year. given the ice conditions organizers are pleased with the turnout. today a fisher caught the big fish that snagged the $15,000 grand prize. >> it's awesome. i was so scared they were going to cancel the derby and they pushed it back and the funny part was the original weekend of the derby we booked a weekend away up in moose head and weren't going to be able to fish derby and the date changed and here we are, 15 grand. holy cow. wow. >> the names of three grand prize winners were randomly drawn from the anglers who had the biggest catches of the weekend. >> a rhode island man is dead
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crash in lincoln. 29-year-old jordan desouza of warwick, rhode island was riding on the power line trail of bog pond yesterday afternoon when he struck a water bar across the trail, lost control of the snowmobile, and struck a tree along the side of the trail. conservation officers say they arrived just after 2:00, tried to revive him, but he seccumbed to his injuries. speed was allegedly a factor in that crash. >> lines were long today at the nashua public library for a special presentation on the tug key gee airmen, the first african-american military aviators in the united states armed forces. lieutenant colonel woodhouse ii, one of the original airmen, led the discussion. >> today is a very important day to me for two reasons. first, we're doing the 75th anniversary for the successful completion of world war ii and also it's always a pleasure to
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>> airmen from hanns com airforce base in boston also spoke about the history of the group. >> coming up on news 9 tonight at 11:00 spotlight takes home the academy award for best picture and we have highlights of the entire oscar ceremony from hollywood. >> plus you'll have a bit more time to see the new hampshire ice castles if you haven't seen them yet this winter. the organizer is announcing plans to extend the season. >> tomorrow mild air on the way rain showers. you see them on radar there about to move through. i'll have the full forecast coming up. >> and now to our you local hot shot. a bald eagle spotted on route 3 in stratford. a viewer says the eagle is looking for food in connecticut river. submit your pictures and video
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play and every win. change the way you experience tv with x1 from xfinity. >> after winning best actor academy award for his perform and the in revenant, leonardo dicaprio. here's a recap.
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category was full of hollywood heavy hitters with the oscar going to mark reiland. >> if you ever wonder about tom hanks the answer is clearly yes. >> best supporting actress --. >> thank you so much. >> madd max swept several awards. >> if they nominated host i wouldn't even get this job. >> oscar's host chris rock didn't pull any punches addressing the academy's diversity controversy. >> placing black actors in parody of several nominated films. >> you should get me. >> even calling hollywood racist. >> hollywood is sorority racist. it's like, we like you, rhonda, but you're not a cappa. >> best actress went to
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>> i want to start big because the thing about movie making i love is how many people it takes to make it. >> after five acting nominations finally leonardo dicaprio's year winning best actor for the revenant. amazing award. granted. granted. thank you so very much. >> and now it's on to the after ball. 1500 guests are celebrating here tonight with food, dancing, and more than a thousand bottles of wine. abc news, hollywood. >> that doesn't sound like a bad time. >> not at all. >> don't feel too story for the stars going home without an oscar tonight. >> right now they are grabbing their gift bags worth about $200,000 each. there is $300 worth of personalized m & m's and a $900 toilet paper dispenser. the most expensive gift is a 10-day all expense paid trip to israel.
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private fitness training sessions with abc stars and a year of unlimited audi car rentals from silver car. and today five remarkable women in new hampshire walked down the pink carpet in concord. >> the event was purposely held in conjunction with oscar sunday to raise awareness about breast cancer. the ladies, three of whom are battling the disease, posed and partied with the governor. the women selected their gowns earlier today and were also treated with gifts. >> to see all the winners of the academy awards head to our website wmur.com and see a list of all the nominees and who took home the gold statues or check the top of the wmur mobile app. it's available for apple and android devices. this weekend the documentary highlighting the market basket protests premiered locally. the music in portsmouth was completely sold out for saturday evening showings. it screened tonight at 7:00. we the people the market basket
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during the summer of 2014 when market basket fired its c.e.o., setting off a grass roots revolt. >> the new hampshire ice castles will be opened later this season. they were scheduled to close tomorrow but just announced plans to stay open until march 5. tickets are available monday and thursday from 5:00 to 9:00 and friday and saturday 5:00 to 10:00. the castles will be closed on tuesday and wednesday this week. you can buy tickets online. a representative with the ice castles says cold weather this week allowed them to stay open a few extra days. >> today was another beauty. we had a few high clouds moving through and that made the sky look a little bit milky white at times. but for the most part, it was dry. we had warm temperatures. you could get outside and enjoy it a little bit. a live look in portsmouth now. and we have some of the high clouds still overhead. but look at the temperatures
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close to 60 degrees in glasgow. 54 lebanon, meredith, and conway. even as far north as conway. temperatures were in the low 50's. here we are in late february. the temperatures have cooled off significantly as you would expect during the overnight hours. already we've fallen into the 20's in places like berlin, whitefield, and plymouth. about 32 degrees in laconia. 41 concord. now 44 degrees in manchester. here's the scoop on the satellite and radar. we still have this thin veil of clouds across the entire state here. this is what's basically just going to keep the temperatures a little bit more mild during the overnight hours. along with the winds still moving around a little bit at this point you see the snow showers and mixed showers well to the north of the state. tomorrow we'll have temperatures similar to our highs today so with this
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through it will be bring rain showers for us. no threat for any snow at least not until we get to the latter part of the day on monday and into tuesday. on future cast, overnight tonight and by tomorrow morning most of us falling into the 30's across the state. maybe a few 20's up north. by 8:00 a.m. the temperatures are going to start to go up. we'll already be in the 40's in places like concord, manchester, down into nashua. by 11:00 a.m. rain showers starting to move across the state and we will have a few of these lingering especially into the afternoon at places like rochester and into portsmouth. eventually the clouds will break apart and we'll all see some sunshine later in after the noon on monday. a secondary cold front is going to move through on monday night, though. this is 11:00. you can see a few snow showers across the central and northern areas of the state. little to no accumulation with those snow showers moving through. that signals a change as colder
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tuesday. here's what you can expect tonight. a few high clouds. not as cold. temperatures up north the coldest in the 20's. in southern areas of the state more like the low 40's for low temperatures. heading back to school all the new hampshire kids tomorrow morning or this morning, 38 degrees at the bus stop or for recess in the 50's. we'll have rain showers passing by around midday hours. then on to the next storm system which comes in late on tuesday and initially may start out as a little bit of snow or mix but eventually it would change over to rain on wednesday. surge on wednesday up close again to 50 degrees. that will mean even in the north points of the state. colder air returns on thursday and friday. no big snow makers. the snowmobilers, ice fishermen
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-- it doesn't look like it is happening until into march. >> we got another month. hopefully we'll get something. >> oh, stop it. get out of here. >> she's red carpet ready. look at her.
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the all new lexus rx and rx hybrid. what's all this nonsense about balls? pink balls, blue, yellow, red. it's hard to keep the whole thing straight. and all these so-called deals? well, they come with a lot of deal breakers. like when you leave the city the signal goes weak. u.s. cellular built a network to give you a stronger signal where the other guys don't. and as for deals? how's $300 back for every line you switch? $300! no ball nonsense. get $300 per line and a stronger signal,
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>> the bruins hosting a big game against tampa bay both
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bruins score first. kevin miller fires one through traffic his fifth of the season. bruins up front 1-0 but the lightning would tie it on the power play. a wrister pass, tuukka rask, tied up at 1-1. still in the first. falls down, loses the puck. ryan callaghan, they start the breakaway. callaghan gets the goal. easy. 2-1 tampa bay after one period. second period now. 3-1. steven stamkos gets behind the defense. brad marchand pulls him down from behind. a penalty shot. here it is. 4-1 lightning. no scoring in the third. tampa bay wins it, 4-1. boston will host calgary on tuesday. capitals and blackhawks this afternoon caps can't clear the puck. former unh wildcat keeps it in. a quick pass to patrick kane. pretty goal.
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van riemsdyk plus 2 for the game. blackhawks pick up a big win 3-2. >> they ended regular seasons with losses last night but both will play in the respective league tournaments. unh will hit the road and play a best 2-3 series at merrimack college beginning on thursday and friday night. game three if necessary will be sunday. all those games are 7:00 starts. as for dartmouth they will host a first-round ecac series against colgate. again, a 2-3-game series friday, saturday at 7:00, and if necessary back at thompson arena on sunday for game three, a 5:00 start. how about this finish to southern university in southern connecticut state? the top ranked team in the ne 10 quarterfinals? michael mallory with a bucket to put them up by three. but at the buzzer, well, about a second to go. that's rodney sanders. knocks down the three to tie the game. and southern new hampshire
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final of 107-104 in overtime. they advance to the semifinals. other quarterfinal games on the hill toms. anselm college hosting st. rose. hawks in the white yoon forms. in the first half some good ball movement by the home team. harrison taggart alone in the corner for three. he hits. he had four threes. 18 points on the afternoon. then cody ball the freshman will get it on the wing and knock down a three of his own. hawks up 11 at that point. ball had 13 off the bench. good look from chris braley underneath the basket out to taylor for thin. he knocks down a three. st. anselm shot the lights out 60% from the floor in the game. then in transition grant mckay ends up with it. he'll drive the lane for a left-handed finish. a career high 22 points. hawks win 102-90 and advance to the conference semifinals and host southern new hampshire university on wednesday night.
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quarterfinal game taking on new haven. she feeds it, has some room to move. his the short jumper. new haven led by two. andrews going to find her in the corner all alone for three. and she knocks it down. the hawks take a three-point lead. 41-38. finished with 15. but the chargers turned it on down the stretch. coast to coast for the transition lay-up. then new haven will miss the three. there's the offensive reboun and putback. she had a game thai 29 points, 14 rebounds for the double double. and new haven knocks off st. anselm, 71-52 on the women's side. still to come tonight we'll go sprint cup racing in georgia. who took the checkered flag in
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>> race number two of the sprint cup season is in the books, the folds of honor kwik trip 500 at atlanta motor speedway. very quiet race. jimmie johnson was racing toward victory when ryan newman blew a rear tire and brought out the caution flag with three laps to go. the second caution of the race. on the restart johnson able to
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four other cars involved in a wreck on the back stretch but the restart was official so jimmie johnson is the winner. his first of the season and his fifth at atlanta. dale earnhardt jr. was second followed by kyle bush, kurt bush, and karl edwards. kevin harvick led a race high 131 laps but finished sixth. >> gosh, hard to, just hoping i can win a race and keep a job for a few years and to have 76 and tie dale earnhardt sr. is something i'm very, very proud of. >> so 76 career wins for him as he said tied dale earnhardt. i think for seventh all time.
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thanks for b and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live after the oscars"! >> how do you think it went? what did you think of j-law's dress? which white people did you go after, bro? >> chris, over here, did you to us! >> jimmy, jimmy kimmel, what are you doing out here? >> jimmy: my mom got me this camera, i figured i'd get a few shots. >> don't you have the "after the
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>> jimmy: yeah, but -- did you get a gift basket? can i get some of that nourishing lotion? yo, chris. did leta rock it tonight? chris, who are you wearing? chris! i didn't find out who you're wearing! i need to know who you're wearing! >> dicky: from hollywood -- it's " jimmy kimmel live after the oscars" ! tonight - ben affleck, tracy morgan, henry cavill, jesse isenberg, j.k. simmons, will arnett, nathan lane, and less. plus we go live to the governors ball. presented by samsung. with cleto and the cletones. and now -- lights, camera, action -
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. i was not expecting it. thank you. i'm jimmy. thanks for watching. thanks for staying up. i know it's late for a sunday night but welcome to our 11th annual after the oscars special. the statues have been handed out, the speeches have been spoken, and once again i was not invited to any of the after parties so here we are together. [ cheers and applause ] making the best of it. it was a night of controversy. it was a night of awareness. it was a night of a lot of uncomfortable famous white people trying to make sure they clapped when the cameras were on them. as you know there were no black nominees in the acting categories. tonight's oscar hopefuls were whiter than the line to buy
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concert. the only way a black or hispanic or asian octoberer was going to win an oscar was if they let steve harvey announce the winner and that didn't happen. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the show went mostly as expected, there weren't a ton of surprises. the biggest surprise was learning there's actually a movie called "the 100 year old man who climbed out the window and disappeared." it was an interesting show. the sound cut out on one of the guys who won best sound design. true. i think the person -- the kid who introduced best short was short. so that was good. and the woman who won best costume design showed up dressed like this. >> this is the second oscar and tenth nomination for jenny bevin. the first oscar in this category -- >> jimmy: she looked like sammy
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i guess she doesn't take her work home with her. "spotlight" won best picture. brie larson won best actress. [ cheers and applause ] leonardo dicaprio won best actor. leo had been nominated six types. until tonight he never won but everyone kept saying, this is his year. and it was. but you know, the man has had sex with a different victoria's secret model every night of -- every year of his year. from 1991 on has been his year. and it was a special night whether you're a fan of movies, movie stars, or the ryan seacrest men's wear collection. we still have many great moments in store yore rou. ben affleck is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bad man versus superman." he's batman. yesterday was ben's 4-year-old son's birthday party and guess what costume his son made him wear to entertain the kids at the party. that's right. we'll find out how that went. it's not all glamorous, this
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one day you're on the red carpet, next day 15 preschoolers are beating you with pinata sticks. right now the stars are heading to the governors ball, the post-oscars party across the street. our man guillermo is there standing by live via our big cisco screen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll get go to him now, guillermo, what's it like, are there any big stars around? >>. >> yes, there's a lot of the big stars around here. beautiful women too. >> jimmy: why don't you have any of them? >> oh. they at the bar right now. >> jimmy: they're at the bar, all right. see who you can russell up for us and we'll check back in later. how many drinks have you had? >> about 40 shots of tequila. >> jimmy: okay, great. perfect. so he's ready to go. that's actually less than he typically has on a sunday night. thank you, guillermo. we'll check back in with you later at the governors ball. one of the most critically acclaimed movies of the year this year that was not nominated for best picture was "cred," the
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the son of one of his greatals. stallone was nominated for an oscar. it would not be a movie without a sequel. the world premiere trailer for the much-anticipated followup to "creed." >> i will have a choice. this is my one shot. i was born to do this. can't nobody stop me! >> you got no business being here. >> the other fighters are fighting for their lives. look at you. eating a hero sandwich. >> it's a hoagie! >> get the hell out of my gym! >> look at this. your first fight with clubber. you got caught with a right
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with an itchy blow hole. hee hee! hee hee! hee hee! hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! >> how do you know so much about >> that was my pops. >> junior. us. i need you to train me. >> train you to do what? >> what do you think i'm talking about, fool, to fight. >> you don't look like a fighter. life. the people who said i couldn't fight -- >> ha ha ha! >> fighting my demons. >> hey, baby. >> fighting that lady in the wendy's drive-through because she wouldn't give me extra dipping sauce. >> quheerls my dipping sauce? >> all i asked for was extra honey mustard! aahhh! >> i'll teach you to fight, kid. let's get some shorts on you because we got work to do. come on. >> all i asked for was extra
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mustard. >> come on! come on now! >> oohh! >> one. >> come on, chicken, come over here! >> boxing isn't just about strength and conditioning. it's about heart. brains. >> and fowls and wings! >> over, under, round and through. meet mr. bunny pull it through. you're not focusing. you've got to focus. beat that meat like you mean it! harder! harder! you've got to kill him! give it to him! what the hell are you doing? whoa, whoa, whoa! hey, hey, no! no! no!
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you've got it. you've got it! [ cheers and applause ] >> it's the fight nobody thought would happen. >> this is a fight nobody thought should happen. this is a disgrace to the sport of boxing. but i can't wait to see it. >> this is our last round, you need this one. >> i keep thinking it's gum. >> focus, kid, you need your edge out there! >> rrrow! hey, get me some. honey mustard, you remembered! >> that's right. now go get him. >> that was clubber. >> i know, i know. mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. love you so much. i got hair in my teeth. go get him! >> pop?
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fool! >> how am i doing? >> good. yeah. there will be a sequel. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have to take a break but it will be worth it, stay there. we have many stars and many surprises on the way. it's our biggest show of the year. our 11th annual " after the oscars" special - we'll be right [ cheers and applause ] shaved-meat sandwich why can't my battery last me through these ugh. eh, probably fine though. [lightning strike] why can't my phone have all a hundred and forty-five of my movies, like that one with the action and the martial arts. why can't my phone take high quality low light photos instead of this
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[police siren] why don't you come down from there sir? you got it! why doesn't my phone work after i pour this expensive champagne all over it? how am i 'sposed to show people how rich and carefree i am? why did i have to wait so long in this commercial to do a celebrity sports person cameo? [scoreboard buzzer] why don't i ever get asked to be the spokesperson in the commercial? ha, ha. good question. introducing the only water-resistant, fast, wireless-charging, best camera having, memory expandable, pay almost anywhere, samsung galaxy s7 edge. vr experience ended. a great spokesperson.
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hi, i'd like to make a dep-- scanner: rescan item. rescan, rescan. rescan item. vo: it happens so often you almost get used to it. phone voice: main menu representative. representative. representative. vo: which is why being put first... relax, we got this. vo: ...takes some getting used to. join the nation. nationwide is on your side representative. so my kids don't have to forage, got two jobs to pay a mortgage, and i've also got a brain. life's short, talk is cheap. i'll be working while you sleep. still don't think i've got a brain? you think a resume's enough? who'll step up when things get tough?
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kind of brain? a degree is a degree. you're gonna want someone like me.
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>> jimmy: hello and welcome back to our 11th annual "
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batman is on the way. first let's check in with guillermo on the wall of america at the governors ball happening across -- look at this, guillermo, you did it! i asked you to get us a big star, you got us a big star, sacha baron cohen, hello! [ cheers and applause ] >> hello, america. >> jimmy: hey, you had a pretty quick costume change there, i guess. >> i don't know what you're talking about that wasn't me. >> jimmy: oh, that's right. i forgot. >> the academy would never let somebody like ali g. come out. i went to the toilet, it was done. >> jimmy: is it true that sacha -- you were supposed to present and instead ali g. wound up filling in as a surprise? >> that is true. that is true. i was very displayed because i was getting ready -- nature called. i went into the bathroom. next thing i knew, i had been
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fool of. >> jimmy: ali g. presented by olivia, did she know ali g. was coming out instead of you -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm real sorry. >> i'm not aware. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sacha, i apologize, there's some idiots in the back. >> yeah, there's a lot of complete pardon my french [ bleep ] walking around. >> jimmy: yeah, there are people jumping around in the back like -- >> they're just trying to get famous. a lot of people are here upset they didn't win tonight. >> jimmy: you know, this is really a shame that we put so much work into the show and then people just show and up they ruin it like that. >> bad losers. >> jimmy: well, you know -- sacha, you have a movie "the brothers grimsby" coming out. >> that's right, that's right. march 11th.
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for what's going on here, very unprofessional. guillermo, you're the one that should be watching for what's going on. get the guy behind you out of the shot! >> who is -- >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> dim wit. >> jimmy: i'm so sorry. >> stay away, please. >> jimmy: there's no excuse for that. i apologize again. some people are just gross. but thank you very much. >> yeah. >> jimmy: sacha baron cohen! [ cheers and applause ] >> stay away. guillermo. >> stay away next year. >> jimmy: thank you. keep rounding people up, will you, guillermo? no -- >> hey, jimmy -- >> jimmy: thank you very much. much. [ cheers and applause ] it just really pisses me off, that's all. so back to the movies. this is the reason why we're watching television tonight. is on car night is a night to celebrate great films. if you're at all familiar with the movie "the producers" you know it is one of the best comedies ever. [ cheers and applause ]
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classic, won an oscar for mel brooks, record-breaking 12 tony awards when mel made it into a broadway musical starring nathan lane and matthew broderick. it's been almost 15 years. now they're back with a diabolical new scheme to unleash yet. >> they were a pair of political consultants on needed a break. >> that's it! we're finished, through, kaput! >> don't say that, max. >> let's face it, bloom, we haven't had a winning campaign in years. >> max, do you realize under the right circumstances it might be possible to make more money from a losing candidate than from a winner? >> what did you say? >> first we find a bad candidate, then we raise money like crazy and promise all the donors ambassadorships to italy or sweden or armenia. then when the public figures out what a nut case our guy is he drops out of the race -- >> and we keep all the dough!
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bloom! you bloody genius you! >> max, don't. >> but wait, wait. this candidate. he's got to be the worst candidate in history. schmuck, putt nincompoop. where would we find a buffoon like that? >> and now a message from the board room. >> people have been asking about my desk and the fact that i have so many papers on my desk. it's actually very neat. but if you look around, i mean, there's a lot of stuff. i've noticed over the years -- people have a lot going on on their desk. >> hand me the phone! the phone! >> my desk is a very important part of me -- >> yes, yes, yes. hello, hello, operator? >> -- that's a good thing -- >> get me the board room. you know which one. innocence thens they had a foolproof plan.
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race for the white house. his name, donald j. trump. can he beat the establishment? who will support him? fiscal conservatives? the religious right? or crazy old semi-racist white people? >> they're sure he can win? >> oh, mrs. comisky, donald trump is the very definition of a winner. >> just read the pin. >> oh. >> bless you, mrs. comisky, bless you. thank you. thank you. yes. i keep the checkie, thank you. thank you, mrs. comisky. yes, good-bye, mrs. comisky. here we go. that's a girl. oh, oh! beautiful, beautiful. we're going right out the door. all right, easy now. easy, we don't have time for that. easy. all right. don't worry, it's only six flights. bye! >> bye. >> thank god for citizens
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far. >> and 25 million bucks, bloom. trump was smart. but your idea about building a wall across the mexican border? brilliant. >> not as brilliant as your idea about making the mexicans pay for it. >> he won't last the week! >> oh, look, max, this is it. >> i will build a great, great wall on our southern border and wall. mark my words. we're in the money we're in the money >> announcer: but they pick the wrong fool. >> good news for donald trump. the whole world has gone stark raving mad for him like these two looney birds, these numb skulls, even in whack a doodle. >> you ready for someone who will let our warriors do their job and go kick isis' ass? >> he's still in the lead, max.
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>> well, i hear he's a proven businessman who knows how to get things done. >> yeah, he'll stand up to the mexicans. >> i can't believe this it's not possible. >> where did we go right? >> i don't know. >> wait a minute. wait a minute -- did he question john mccain's war heroism? >> yes. >> did he say we should kick out 11 million immigrants? >> yes. >> did he propose banning all 1 billion muslims from entering the u.s.? >> si! >> did he say heidi klum was no longer a 10? >> yes, yes! >> nothing is working, max, nothing. >> oh, no! no! >> announcer: just in time for the election, it's a story that starts off funny and then gets really, really depressing. [ cheers and applause ] we needed a chump to put on
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a frumpy grumpy named donald j. trump he's building a wall a thousand feet tall don't worry cause the mexicans will pay for it all >> announcer: from the producers of "the producers" comes a movie that will make america great again. nathan lane, matthew broderick, and cloris leachman star in -- you've been trumped >> maybe he won't be such a bad president. >> bing bing bong bong bing bing bong bong. >> whoa, what have we done? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a lot to come including we have tonight on the show never before seen footage from "batman versus superman." [ cheers and applause ] the "after oscars post show." we'll be right back with ben affleck! [ cheers and applause ]

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