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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  February 29, 2016 12:05am-1:07am EST

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tomorrow morning! all members of the academy who are eligible are invited to vote their nominations fobest picture. in most other categories, e nominations are decided by a vote of the members working g that specific category. then the entire membership chooses from those nominations the recipients of the oscars. and finally, the results of all the secret voting are known only to the independent accounting firm of pricewaterhousecoopers
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opened on the air.tt2watu#@m4 bt@q@qd tt2watu#@m4 "a@qe% tt2watu#@m4 bm@qn., tt4watu#@m4 " dztq ]:h tt4watu#@m4 " entq ->( ( tt4watu#@m4 " gzt& 49p tt4watu#@m4 " hnt& $7< tt4watu#@m4 " iztq n^d tt4watu#@m4 " jntq \.$ tt4watu#@m4 " lzt& dcx tt2watu#`s4 bt@qs1t tt2watu#`s4 "a@qc=0 tt2watu#`s4 bm@qh6< tt4watu#`s4 " dztq g4t tt4watu#`s4 " entq 704 tt4watu#`s4 " gzt& .7l tt4watu#`s4 " hnt& >9 tt4watu#`s4 " iztq tpx tt4watu#`s4 " jntq f 8 tt4watu#`s4 " lzt& ^md captions provided by: real-time closed captionong provided by u.s. captioning company. new details about a woman accused of kidnapping a two-month-old baby. the charges she's facing and who deputies think helped her out. the teenragedy after a group of friends plays with a gun. a 14-year old dead. his friend accused of pulling the trigger. you'll hear from the mother of that accused shooter. i have that exclusive interview. controversy on the campaign trail. donald trump endorsed
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days before super tuesday? life, the one and only local ten news starts right now. off the top. this woman behind bars, accused of kidnapping a baby girl. she had help from a family member. >> the baby she allegedly stole is doing just fine and back with her family in ft. lauderdale. the other suspect in this case is only a teeven ager. >> this was a family affair. locall ten news reporter is live in ft. lauderdale with the story. >>reporter: everyone involved in this story are all cousins. that frantic mom didn't realizeze it at the time when the armed intruders snatched that baby girl who is back home tonit. the baby is safe and back in her mother's arms. >> my baby is here. >>reporter: the two reuniting after a wild weekend that
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kidnapped during a home invasion. the baby's aunt said the armed intruders were the victim's own cousins. >> it hurt us very much. it's two people that are going to sit in jail for a very lon time. at the end of the day, that's our blood. >>reporter: she's in a jail cell, charged in connection with the incident that set off a state-wide amber alert to track down the girl. she orchestrated the plan, using her 14-year old cousin to break in to the home with the gun and pointing i right at the infant's mother. >> i'm not sure what h motives were, whyhy she reacted in a crazy way. i guess my other cousin was obsessed or something like that with myp little cousin's baby. >>reporter: hours psed until a trooper spotted her car on the turnpike on saturday. she was alone, but apparently told
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abandoned at a home outside of orlando. she was arrested along with her alleged ocomp lis, that 14-year old cousin. >> let me see her. >>reporter: a skair that mak this mother/daughter time more precious. >> she's safe. she's healthy. >>reporter: kidnapping and aggravated child abuse, some of the charges she is facing. she's being held without bond. the 14-year old is being held at a juvenile detention center. both are expected to appear before a judge first thing in the morning. local ten news. a teen tragedy in miami garden. a group of friends playing with a gun ends in one of their deaths. a teenager is charged and his mother is speaking out only to local ten news. michael? >>reporter: this is just an awful story. you've got two
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tragedy. o has a 14-year old son facing felony charges. the other is preparing to bury their son. e's the latest teenager to lose his life, falling victim to gunfire. family members came together as they prepared to bury their loved oneses the teen was killed saturday afternoon in miami gardens. he was at his grandmother's home playing with two friends, both 14 when the boy pulled out a loaded gun, accidedeally firing off a shot hitting and killing him. >> i spoke with the father. he's devastated. we have to come together. >>reporter: miami gardens' top cop weighing in, "another life gone too soon. we must protect, guide, train and love our future without limitations." >> do you have any reason to believe this 14-year old was trying to hurt his friend? >> absolutely not. 100 percent not.
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with local ten, the accused shooter's mother speaking out, teteing us her son is heartbroken. >> he's been crying. he's willing to do whatever, you know, to show he's hurt by that. >>reporter: police calling this an on-going investigatio no one said where the child got the gun. >> do you have a gun in your house? >> no, i don't. >>reporter: again that, teen is not facing charges. as far as the accused teenager who they are saying accidentally pulled the trigger, he is charged with manslaughter. live tonight in miami gardens, local ten news. a month-longng shutdown. starting monday afternoon drivers will be able to use the west bridge yet again. the stretch has been closed nine months for a $12 million renovation. the project
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reconstruction of the 730-foot bridge along with new entry roadways and lighting. a crash landing in a neighborhood a hangglider ends up in the backyard of a home. two peoplee were taken to the hospital. the home wasn't damaged and it's not clear what caused the glider to go down. trouble onthe water for two fishermen. their boat started taking on water when they were east of -- crews responded to this distress call. they were able to pull the man out. neither of the two were hurt. mechanicar failure is to blame. they were able to salvage the boat and tow it back. hillary clinton is (unintelligible)%she's set to visit south florida. >> her husband was already here. former president bill clinton hit the campaign trail today. meantime, there is more controversy on the r rublican side.
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dorsement from the kkk. here are the details. >>reporter: three of the presidential hopefuls, including the presumed frontrunner will be in south florida come tuesday. the campaigns are looking ahead at the florida primary, on march 15th. the mud-slinging and the race for president bordered on -- >> (unintelligible) >>reporter: donald trump spent part of the weekend fending off his rivals, ? >> i know nothing about david duke. i know nothing about white supremacists. you're asking me a question i'm supposed to be talking about people i know nothing about. >> we cannot be a party that nominating someone who refuses
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and thth cluks cluks - klu klux klan. >> i do believe america remains great. >>reporter: formir president bill clinton wasas in south florida on sunday. he rallied a crowd made of mostly african-americans, a group hillary won in south carolina and a group that could deliver her a big win on super tuesday. > 75 percent of them said "she's our girl." >> hillary clinton and marco rubio will be in miami tuesday night awaiting election results. donald trump will be with supporters. we'll havav the latest on the remaining kand datds in the field. life tonight in the newsroom, local ten news. another one and only exclusive. aa man charged with sex crimes against a family member. >> his victims date back decades. his wife stands by his wife.
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had a great weekend. it's almost time to head back to work and school. i'm betty davis. i'll have the weather forecast next. monday morning at 6:00. $7,850. spirit of the law is -- not to get other peoples' money. >> to avoid being a victim monday at 6:6: a.m. (phone ringing) you can't deal with something, by ignoring it. but that's how some presidential candidates seem to be dealing with social security. americans work hard, and pay into it. so our next presiden needs a real plan to keep it strong. (elephant noise) (donkey noise)
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he stands accused of horrrric sexual abuse involving a 12-year old family member and other allegations involving young girls dating back 50 years. one woman is standing in support of him tonight. his ex-wife, who is at the center of a courtroom battle. >> prosecutors believe -- they suspect she's privy to his
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video evidence of his crimes. >> >>reporter: lewis is charged with sex crimes against his own stepdaughter. >> (unintelligible) >> (inaudible) >> it's about power. it's about control. >>reporter: secretly recorded audiotapes, he made damming omissis. >> she had no idea that was going on. >>reporter: he called it an "addicicon." some victims 9 and 10 years old date back five decades. one woman still supports him, his ex-wife, who is living in his waterfront lighthouse point mansion while he awaits trial in jail.
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what they know. >>reporter:ros prosecutors want her to tell what she knows. >> this is a fishing exped igz of the state. >>reporter: lawyers argue she wasn't a material witness. when i tried to talk with her outside the courtroom she hid her face. >> witnesses say you have seen videotapes of child molestation. that's according to one of his other victims. >> my innocence was taken. >>reporter: nancy was a neighbor, who said he looured her in to his home, cloer fored her and sexually abused her at ten and continued seven years always with a video camera lling. >> i know that a witness has seen those videos and she told me what happened on those tapes. >> the witness, couple who olson said cam in the late 1980s and told her she found incriminating videotapes.
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i asked her what did he do? he has this fetish for the dead and he likes to pretend he can bring us back to life. he woulde slamming me and trying to give me cpr and shahang me and trying to revive me. >>reporter: olson said s she married -- always recognized someone else. >> to her surprise, she saw herself in those videos. he would drug her while she was already asleep because she had told him she didn't want to participate in that because it made her sick. she woke up in the morning morning in complete pain and didn't understand why. he ended up breaking a cup willel of her ribs. >>reporter: she said they spoke of going to the police, but he learned his wife had found the tas.
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her by her throat and threatened to kill her and her family if she did not return these tapes. out of fear, she handed them back to a pedophile. >>reporter: : was arrested for domestic violence in 1994. couple later waived prprecution. the long-time divorcee is living back in his mansion in a sworn statement she claims she had never been forced to submit to chloroform or sexual abuse and he wasn't a danger to the community. >> you know he did these things. he did it to us. >> why are you still with him? >>reporter: bob norman, local ten news. bob tells us he is expected to be deposed by prosecutors to determine what she will or won't disclose about his past actions. he's not been charged with any crimes related to
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and other alleged victims. today really does mark the final day of february. >> crazy. we could hang on to a day like this. we will soon have a new season upon us. are you thinking spring? the weekend was so great. probably the west weekend so far this month. maybe. we made it up to the low t to mid-70s for our high temperature sunday afternoon. we look outside tonight and just a few clouds across our skies. the temperature in miami at 65 degrees. it's an easy way to step in to the evening. or att least the overnight and get ready for a new day. winds are light to calm. calm over miami. an easterly component@ to the one drukz around ft. lauderdale, homestead, down thugh the keys as well. that is going to stay in place throughout the rest of our last day of february. by the way, we're getting that wind flow.
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high. it is an atlantic breeze that is going to carry the rest of the day. we are noting high clouds streaming in from the gulf of mexico. high pressure in control of our weatatr. not just for the overnight, but in to monday and tuesday as well. we're expting a seasonable day even on our tuesday. warmer temperatures in the forecast as a few clouds mix with sunshine. we're going to keep that easterly breezez going the next couple of days. if you're makakg today a beach day -- it is today; right? -- winds from the east 10 to 15 miles an hour. a slight risk of rip currents out there. if you're taking the boats out there are no advisories on the water. light chop onn the bays. seas running 2 to 3 feet off miami-dade and broward. here's other look at our forecast for the rest of the day. 65 degrees right now. by 9:00 in the morning we should be up to 70. we'll have afternoon highs
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for this time of the year. the normal morning low. low to mid-60s the normal high upper 70s. that is where we think we're going to be later today. intoi that. rain chance remaining low. that's monday. heersz here's a look at tuesday and wednesday. tuesday a high around 80 degrees and then on wednesday we get that chance for showers coming through. thursday high near 80 as well. as weheck out the weekend it's looking good as we look ahead. looks like the weather is going to be nice. >> all right. to another outstanding and long oscar night. >> all the big winners and shocki moments that will have people talking and tweeting about tomorrow. good evening, south florida. just a friendly reminder if you're traveling that bridge over to a1a. two
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will be on-going construction until mid-march. get yoir trafafc every weekday morning with me on local ten. giving crooks the open-door policy.
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tips on how to outsmart your and the oscar goes to "spotlight." this is anscar show people will be talking about. >> n only were the winners surprising, but so was the host, chris rock. >> the best supporting actor category was full of hollywood hitters with the oscar going to mike riland. >> alisha -- >> thank you so much. >>reporter: >> (unintelligible)
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puncs addressing the contrororsy. >> e even calling hollywood racist. >> hollywood is sorority racist. it's like, we likeyou, ronda, but you're not a kakap pa. best actress went to brae larson. >> the thing i love about -- is how many people it takes to make it. >>reporter: >> i thank you all for this amazing award tonight. l us not take this planet for granted. i do not take tonight for granted. thank you so much. >>reporter: now it's on to the after parties and the governor's ball. 1500 guests are celebrating with food,
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bottles of wine. abc news, hollywood. we might as well keephe theme going. the heat get a special performance in joe johnson's debut. the
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oscar fun -- next. your perfect cup of coffee has never been so dressed up. dunkin' donuts coffee. cheers to greatness inside and out.
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pass now local ten sports. it is oscar night i time for our yourly tradition of working all the best picture nominees in to one sports cast. when i say "the rev nant" you're going to hear a ding and see the names. joe johnson making his debut against t t knicks at madison square garden. there he is. wearing number two for the heat and starting. first shot off the heat -- this is the way to welcome to miami. gotta love
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later in the first quarter, have a magical connection. no one can get up the block this time. not even the martian. heat up 14. jososrichardson in control. johnson nice pass. 26 points to lead the way. he keeps working on his outside game. heat win. 98-81. we got a great group of guys. a great atmosphere and i'm looking forward to it. not getting much room. he left the game after taking an elbow to the head. ouch. heat
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lose 3-1 the final. the spotlight was on the canes as they hosted florida. he struck out 12. gators take the series they win 7-3 the final. of course, women's basketball the big short. visiting fsu. canes had a late lead. the seminoles finish on a huge rin. this was much easier win.n. wasn't it five nominees? >> that was the first thing i said. aughter) >> > it's going to be a great day. temperatures in the upper 70s. partly-sunny skies.
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night with us. >> always go to our website is that coffee? yea, it's nespresso. i want in. you're ready. get ready to experience a cup above.
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st text1 italics cc1 test messagege test text1 underline and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live after the oscars"! >> how do you think it went? what did you think of j-law's dress? which white people did you go after, bro? >> chris, overhere, did you to us! >> jimmy, jimmy kimmel, what are you doing out here? >> jimmy: my mom got me this camera, i figured i'd get a few shots. >> don't you have the "after the oscars" special tonight? >> jimmy: yeah, but -- did you get a gift basket? can i get some of that nourishing lotion? yo, chris. did leta rock itonight? chris, who are you wearing? chris! i didn't find out who you're
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wearing! >> dicky: from hollywood -- it's "jimmy kimmel live after the oscars"! tonight - ben affleck, tracy morgan, henry cavill, jesse isenberg, j.k. simmons, will arnett, nathan lane, matthew broderick, mike tyson, and less. plus we go live to the governors ball. presented by samsung. with cleto and the cletone and now -- lights, camera, action - here's jimmy kimmeme
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>> jimmy: thank you. i was not expecting it. thank you. i'm jimmy. thanks for watching. ththks for staying up. i know it's late for a sunday night but welcome to our 11th annual after the oscars special. the statues have been handed out, the speeches have been spoken,nd once again i was not invited to any of the after parties so here we are together. [ chrs and applause ] making the best of it. it was a night of controversy. it was a night of awareness. it was a night of a lot of uncomfortable famous white people trying to make sure they clapped when the cameras were on them. as y y know there were no black nominees in the acting categories. tonight's oscar hopefuls were whiter than the line to buy t-shirts at a michael bolton concert. the only way a black or hispanic or asian octoberer was going to win an oscar was if they let steve harvey announce the winner and that didn't happen. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the show went mostly as expected, there weren't a ton of surprises.
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learninghere's actually a movie called "the 100 year old man who climbed out t t window and disappeared." it was an interesting show. the sound cut out on one of the guys who won best sound design. true. i think the person -- the kid who introduced best short was shor so that was good. and the woman who won best costume design showed up dressed ke this. >> this is the secondscar and bevin. the first oscar in this category -- >> jimmy: she looked like sammy hagar in sturgis. i guess she doesn't take her work home with her. "spotlight" won best picture. brie larson won best actress. [ cheers and applause ] leonardo dicapri won best actor. leo had been nominated six type until tonight he never won but
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his year. and it was. but you know, the man has had sex with a different victoria's secret model every night of -- every year of his year. from 1991 on has s en his year. and it was a special night whether you'r'r a fan of movies, movie stars, or the ryan seacrest men's wear collection. we still have many great moments in store yore rou. ben affleck is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bad man versus superman." he's batman. yesterday was ben's 4-year-old son's birthday par and guess what costume his son made him wear to entertain the kids at the party. that's right. we'll find out how that went. it's not all glamorous, this hollywood stuff. one day you're on the red carpet, next day 15 preschoolers are beating you with pinata sticks. right now the starsre heading to the governors ball, the post-oscars party across the street. our man guillermo is there standing by live via our big cisco screen. [ cheers and applause ]
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now, guillermo, what's it like, are there any big starsaround? >>. >> yes, there's a lot of the big stars around here. beautiful women too. >> jimmy: why don't you have any of them? >> oh. they at the bar right now. >> jimmy: they're at the bar, all right. see who you can russell up for us and we'll check b bk in later. how many d dnks have you had? >> about 40 shots of tequila. >> jimmy: okay, great. perfect. so he's ready to go. that's actually less than he typically has on a sunday night. thank you, guillermo. we'll check back in with you later at the governors ball. one of the most critically acclaimed movies of the year this year that was not nominated for best picture was "cred," the story of rocky balboa training the son of one of his greatals. stallone was nominated for an oscar. it would not be a movie without a sequel. the world premiere trailer for the much-anticipated followup to "creed." >> i will have a choice.
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i was born to do this. can't nobody stop me! >> you got no business being here. >> the other fighters are fighting for their lives. look at you. eating a hero sandwich. >> it's a hoagie! >> get the hell out of my gym! >> look at this. your first fight with clubber. you got caught with a rigig uppercut. you're sounding like a dolphin with an itchy blow hole. hee hee! hee hee! hee hee! hee hee! hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! >> how do you knowl so much about that fight? >> that was my pops.
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>> that's what marty povis told us. i need you to train me. >> train you to do what? >> what do you think i'm talking about, fool, to fight. >> you don't look like a fighter. >> i been fighting my whole life. the people who said i couldn't fight -- >> ha ha ha! >> fighting my demons. >> hey, baby. >> fighting that lady in the wendy's drive-through because she wouldn't give me extra dipping sauce. >> quheerls my dipping sauce? >> all i asked for was extra honey mustard! aahhh! >> i'll teach you to fight, kid. let's get some shorts on you because we got work to do. come on. >> all i asked for was extra honey busmustard. >> come on! come on now! >> oohh!
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>> come on, chicken, come over here! >> boxing isn't just about strength and conditioning. it's about heart. brains. >> and fowls and wings! >> over, under, round and thriugh. meet mr. bunny pull it through. you' not focusing. you've got to focus. beat that meat like you an it! harder! harder! you've got to kill him! give it to him! what the hell are you doinin whoa, whoa, whoa! hey, hey, no! no! no! got it? you've got it. you've got it! [ cheers and applause ] >> it's the fight nobody thought would happen. >> this is a fight nobody thought should happen. this is a disgrace to the sport
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but i can't wait to see it. >> this is our last round, you need this one. >> i keep thinking it's gum. >> focus, kid, you need your edge out there! >> rrrow! hey, get me some. honey mustard, you remembered! >> that's righgh now go get him. >> that was clubber. >> i know, i know. mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. love you so much. i got hair in my teeth. go get him! >> pop? >> quit your jibber jabber, fool! >> how am i doing?
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there will be a sequel. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have to takak a break but it will be worth it, stay there. we have many stars and many surprises on the way. it's our biggest s sw of the year. our 11th annual "after the oscars" special - we'll be right back after this. [ cheers and applause ] why can't i buy this weird, shaved-meat sandwich with my phone? why can't my battery last long enough to navigate me through these scary woods? ugh. eh, probably fine though. [lightning strike] why can't my phone have enough memory to hd all a hundred and forty-five of my movies, like that one with the action and the martial arts. you seen that one? why can't my phone take high quality low light photos instead of this big, expensive camera? [police siren] why don't you come down from there sir? you got it! why doesn't my phone work after i pour this expensive champagne all over it? w am i 'sposed to show people how rich and carefree i am? why did i have to wait so long in this commerciaia to do a celebrity sports person cameo? [scoreboard buzzer]
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spokesperson in the commercial? ha, ha. good question. introducing the only water-resistant, fast, wireless-charging, best camera having, memory expandable, pay almost anywhere, samsung galaxy s7 edge. vr experience ended. man, i would have made a great spokesperson. [sigh] the new, do everything, galaxy s7#edge.
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scanner: rescan item. rescan, rescan. rescan item. vo: it happens so often you almost get used to it. phone voice: main menu representative. representative. representative. vo: which is why being put first... relax, we got this. vo: ...takes some getting used to. join the nation. nationwide is on your side representative. so my kids don't have to forage, got two jobs to pay a mortgage, and i've also got a brain. life's short, talk is cheap. i'll be working while you sleep. still don't think i've g a brain? you think a resume's enough? who'll steteup when things get tough? don't you want that kind of brain? a degree is a degree. you're gonna want someone like me.
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>> jimmy: hello and welcome back to our 11th annual "after the oscars" special. batman is on the way. first let's check in with guillermo on the wall of america at the governorsall happening across -- look at this, gugulermo, you did it! i asked you to get us a big star, you got us a big star
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[ cheers and applause ] >> hello, america. >> jimmy: hey, you had aretty quick costume change there, i guess. >> i don't know what you're talking about that wasn't me. >> jimmy: oh, that's right. i forgot. >> the academy would never let somebody like ali g. come out. i went to the toilet, it was done. >> jimmy: is it truruthat sacha -- you were supposed to present and instead ali g. wound up filling in as a surprise? >> that is true. that is true. i was very displayed because i was getting ready -- nature called. i went into the bathroom. next thing i knew, i had been usurped by ali g. and made a fool of. >> jimmy: ali g. presented by olivia, did she know ali g. was coming out instead of you -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry --
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>> i'm not aware. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sacha, i apologize, there's some idiots in the back. >> yeah, there's a lotf complete pardon my french [ bleep ] walking around. >> jimmy: yeah, tre are people jumping around in the back like -- >> they're just trying to get famous. a lot of people are here upset they didn't win tonight. >> jimmy: you knkn, this is really a shame that we put so much work into o e show and then people just show and up they ruin it like that. >> bad losers. >> jimmy: well, you know -- sacha, you have a movie "the brothers grimsby" coming out. >> that's right, that's right. march 11th. >> jimmy: and again, i apologize for what's going on here, very professional. guillermo, you're the one that should be watching for what's going on. gegethe guy behind you out of the shot! >> who is -- >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> dim wit. >> jimmy: i'm so sorry. >> stay away, please. >> jimmy: there's no excuse for that. i apologize again.
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but thank you very much. >> yeah. >> jimmy: sacha ron cohen! [ cheers and applause ] >> stay away. >> jimmy: thank you so much, guillermo. >> stay away next year. >> jimmy: thank you. keep rounding people up,ill you, guillermo? no -- >> hey, jimmy -- >> jimmy: thank you very much. much. [ cheers and applause ] it just really pisses me off, that's all. so back to the movies. this is the reason why we're watching television tonight. is on car night is a night to celebrbte great films. if you're at all familiar with the movie "the producers" you know it is one of the best comedies ever. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the producers" is a classic, won an oscar for mel brooks, record-breaking 12 tony awards when mel made it into a broadway musical starring nathan lanend matthew broderick. it's been almost 15 years. now they' back with a
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their most spectacular disaster yet. >> they were a pair of political consultants on needed a break. >>hat's it! we're finished, through, kaput! >> don't say that, max. >> let's face it, bloom, we haven't had a winning campaign in years. >> max, do you realize under the right circumstances it might be possible to make more money from a losing candidate than from a winner? >> what did you say? >> first we find a bad candidate, then we raise money like crazy and promise all the donors ambassadorships to italy or sweden or armenia. then when the public figures out what a nut case our guy is he drops out of the race -- >> and we keep all the dough! oh, darling bloom, glorious bloom! you bloody genius you! >> max, don't. >> but wait, wait. this candidate. he's got to be the worst candidate in history. a real train wreck. schmuck, puttz, gold-plated
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where would we find a buffoon like that? >> and now a message from the board room. >> people have been asking about my desk and the fact that i have so many papers on my desk. it's actually very neat. but if you look around, i mean, there's a lot of stuff. i've noticed over the years -- people have a lot going on on their desk. >> hand me the phone! the phone! >> my desk is a very important part of me -- >> yes, yes, yes. hello, hello, operator? >> -- that'ss a good thing -- >> get me the board room you know which one. innocence thens they had a foolproof plan. >> there's a new horse in the race for the white house. his name, donald j. trump. can he beat the establishment? who will support him? fiscal conservatives? the religious right? or crazy old semi-racist wte people?
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>> oh, mrs. comisky, donald trump i the very definition of a winner. >> just read the pin. >> oh. >> bless you, mrs. comisky, bless you. thank you. thank you. yes. i keep the checkie, thank you. thank you, mrs. comisky. yes, good-bye, mrs. comisky. here we go.. that's a girl. oh, oh! beautitil, beautiful. we're going right out the door. all right, easy now. easy, we don't have time for that. easy. all right. dodot worry, it's only six flights. bye! >> bye. >> thank god for citizens united. >> 22 ambassadors to france so far. >> and 25 million bucks, bloom. i have to tell you, running trump was smart. but your idea about building a wall across the mexican border? brilliant.t. >> not as brilliant as your idea about making the mexicans pay for it.
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>> oh, look, max, this is it. >> i will build a great, great wall on our southern border and i will have mexico pay for that wall. mark my words. we're in the money we're in the money >> announcer: but they pick the wrong fool. >> good news for donald trump. the whole world has gone stark raving mad for him like these two looney birds, these numb skulls, even in whack a doodle. >> you ready for someone who will let our warriors do their job and go kick isis' ass? >> he's still in the lead, max. >> how could this happen? >> well, i hear he's a proven businessman who knows how to get things done. >> yeah, he'll stand up to the mexicans. >> i can't believe this it's not possible. >> where did we go right? >> i don't know.
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wait a minute -- did he question john mccain's war heroism? >> yes. >> did he say we should kick out 11 million immigrants? >> yes. >> did he propose banning all 1 llion musli from entering the u.s.? >> si! >> did he say heidi klum was no longer a 10? >> yes, yes! >> nothing is working, max, nothing. >> oh, no! no! >> announcer: just in time for the election, it's a story that starts off funny and then gets really, r%ally depressing. [ cheers and applause ] we needed a chump to put on the stump a frumpy grumpy named donald j. trump he's building a wall a thousand feet tall don't worry cause the mexicans will pay for it all >> announcer: from the producers of "the producers" comes a movie that will make america great again.
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and cloris leachman star in -- you've been trumped >> maybi he won't be such a bad president. >> bing bing bong bong bing bing bong bong. >> whoa, what have we done? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a lot to come including we have tonight on the show never before seen footage from "batman versus superman." [ cheers and applause ] the "after oscars post show." we'll be right back wit ben affleck! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: jimmy kimmelfter the oscars is brought to you by samsung. go to to see guillermo nursed in a virtual world using a samsung v-r headset. [ panting ]


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