tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC February 16, 2016 11:34pm-12:37am EST
[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from stage one at universal studios hollywood, in los angeles, california, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- zach galifianakis, ronda rousey, musical guest, pitbull, featuring robin thicke, joe perry, travis barker and the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 418! woo! >> steve: and now, here he is,
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hey, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome. welcome to "the tonight show"! this is it! [ cheers and applause ] you're here! you're part of the show! aw, welcome everybody. you guys, it is -- [ cheers and applause ] it's all right -- it is our second day in los angeles. [ cheers and applause ] and good news, we just found a a parking spot. [ applause ] this is exciting. yeah. let's get to some news here, you guys. of course, last night was the grammy awards.
i've got to say congratulations to our very own tariq and questlove, who won a grammy. [ cheers and applause ] congrats, guys. they got the grammy for best musical theater album. it's amazing. and this is really cool. when the star and creator of "hamilton", lin-manuel miranda, accepted the award, he actually rapped his acceptance speech. yeah, sure, but when someone else tries to rap his speech, it's, "you're ruining my wedding, jimmy." [ laughter and applause ] the other big story from the grammys is when adele had technical issues during her performance and it made it seem like she was singing off key. yeah. off-key adele, otherwise known as "riding in the car with your mom." [ laughter ] hello from the other side! [ applause ]
performance -- i thought this was funny, adele tweeted that she treated herself to in-n-out burger. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. meanwhile, people at the drive-through kept pretending the speaker wasn't working just so they could hear adele say "hello" again. [ laughter ] one more time. hello [ light laughter ] still not getting it. hello [ light laughter ] just cutting out. are you still there? hello [ light laughter ] thank you. i saw that pharrell went to the grammys last night sporting blond hair and a tweed blazer. this explains that award he went home with, "best impression of hillary clinton." [ laughter ] >> steve: i didn't know you could win a grammy for that. >> jimmy: yeah, he deserves it. he deserves it. [ applause ] well, here's the latest on the election. apparently some prostitutes at a nevada brothel have launched a campaign for hillary clinton called "hookers for hillary." [ laughter ] yeah.
the clintons, or, as they call it, "giving back." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: nice, nice. heart of gold. >> jimmy: warms the heart. senator lindsey graham actually got to introduce both jeb and his brother george at rally in south carolina. and he was pretty excited. check this out. >> you're gonna hear not only from a president of the united states, you're gonna hear from the brother of the next president of the united states. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know about you, but i like bushes! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: lindsey. >> jimmy: then another guy said, "looks like we've found some common ground." [ laughter and applause ] actually, during his speech at
his brother jeb is the guy who can fix the problems that inflame our country's frustrations. or in other words, jeb is america's preparation h. [ laughter ] that's not good. that doesn't help the campaign. >> steve: i don't think so. >> jimmy: and marco rubio released a new campaign ad that depicts america waking up in the morning, but some of the footage used in the ad is actually not footage of america. [ light laughter ] take a look at the very first clip. this is real. >> it's morning again in america. >> jimmy: stop the clip there. that's vancouver, canada. [ laughter ] that is vancouver. yeah. it just got worse from there. take a look at this. >> it's morning again in america. [ light laughter ] today more men and women are out of work than ever before in our nation's history. >> jimmy: that's odd. [ cheers and applause ] that's odd. that's not eve an real place. we have a great show, ladies and gentlemen. give it up for the roots!
>> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] sounding great! looking great! oh, it's great to be here. oh, my gosh. welcome, everybody. thanks again. we have a big week of shows ahead. tomorrow night, the great jennifer lopez will be here with us. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: so be sure to tune in. jennifer and i going to be playing a game of "password", so be sure to tune in for that. plus, he'll be making his television debut with us. we have music from zayn. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is it. tv debut. >> steve: this is it. >> jimmy: then later this week, vince vaughn and bryan cranston will be joining us as well. [ cheers and applause ] and we have performances from dead & company and the weeknd. [ cheers and applause ] so this is a big week here in l.a. but first we love it when this guy comes to visit. his new comedy series,
the very funny, the very talented zach galifianakis is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] zach and i are going to talk about his new show and then we're going to test one another's acting skills in a a game of "true confessions", along with a surprise guest. [ cheers and applause ] plus, here she is on the cover of the big new "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue. ronda rousey is in the house! [ cheers and applause ] ronda rousey is in the housey. and we have great, great music. gosh, i love this guy. last night he won a grammy award himself. he deserves it. pitbull, featuring robin thicke, joe perry, and travis barker is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on!. >> jimmy: robin thicke, joe perry, travis barker. >> steve: get out of here. >> jimmy: come on. and pitbull. you can't beat that. this is great. guys, as you know, donald trump
front-runner for president. and now we're all used to seeing trump at the debates and on the campaign trail, but we rarely get a chance to see him at home. well, this week donald trump actually visited his childhood home to have a little heart-to-heart with his family. take a look. >> dad? dad? [ light laughter ] dad? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> donald, what's wrong, honey? >> i'm just sad. [ laughter ] >> sad? [ light laughter ] sweetie, why are you sad? >> look, i know i won in new hampshire, my numbers were huge. [ light laughter ] but i'm afraid that if i don't
will say i'm a loser. >> donald, i know winning is very important to you, but sometimes it's okay to lose. right, guys? [ cheers and applause ] >> danny's right, donald. i mean, look at me. sure, i lost on "star search," but that hasn't stopped me from doing impressions. right, bullwinkle? >> why, certainly, joseph. [ cheers ] >> look, the point is you made it farther than anyone thought, and no matter what happens you should be very proud of that. >> hey, watch the hair, huh? [ light laughter ] you guys are right. i have to stay in the race. otherwise a clinton will be in the white house again.
something from the '90s come back in 2016? [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> is everything okay in here? donald, what are you doing up at this hour? >> well, deej -- [ laughter ] i was trying to have a a heart-to-heart with my three dads until you guys interrupted me. how rude. >> hey, you stole my catchphrase. how rude! [ cheers and applause ] >> hola, trumperinos!
>> gibbler, how did you get in our house? >> well, the front door was locked, but luckily the kitchen window was wide open. [ light laughter ] >> kimmy, you can't just come into our house whenever you want. >> i know how we can keep her out. we need to build a giant wall. [ laughter ] . no more gibbler! [ cheers ] a ban on all gibblers until we figure out what's going on and we make her pay for it. [ laughter ] >> donald, i think i speak for everyone when i say, cut it out. [ cheers ] >> yeah, donald. just because kimmy isn't technically a part of the family doesn't mean that we shouldn't treat her like one. >> yeah. you know, even if she did once pierce my ears with an infected needle. we love her. >> oh, i love you guys. [ audience aws ] >> you see, donald, that's just it. i mean, if you really want to make america great again, you have to bring people together,
now, we may have our disagreements from time to time, but at the end of the day, we all love each other. that's what family's about. and gosh darn it, that's what america is about. [ cheers and applause ] >> that might be the most romantic thing you've ever said. [ cheers and applause ] >> have mercy. [ cheers and applause ] >> look, donald. we understand. you're used to winning all the time. and now that you might not you're scared and confused. >> you're right. i mean, whatever happened to predictability? [ light laughter ] the milkman? the paper boy? evening tv?
everywhere you go, there's a a heart. >> there's a heart. [ laughter ] >> there's a hand to hold on to. >> everywhere you look, everywhere you go. >> there's a face. of somebody who needs you. when you're lost out there and you're all alone a light is waiting to carry you home everywhere you look >> ba-do-be-do bop ba-da. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. just remember, donald, if you win and become president, that's great. but if you lose and don't become president, we'll be even prouder. [ cheers and applause ]
you got it, honey? >> you got it, dude. [ cheers ] >> good night, sweetheart. >> good night, donald. >> i love you. >> i love you. >> love you so much. >> good night, dad. [ cheers and applause ] >> good night, donald. good night, my son. i love you. >> good night, mom. good night, gibbler. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ladies and gentlemen, the cast of "fuller house"! it premieres on netflix february 26th. you killed it! you killed it! it was great!
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please welcome a talented and hardworking former. here's zach galifianakis, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: always good to see you, buddy. oh my gosh. thanks for coming on the show. i appreciate it. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: congrats on "baskets." i want to get to that. i also want to say congrats on "between two ferns," which is one of my favorite things we love with -- it's talk show you do on the web. >> the internet. some people call it the internet. >> jimmy: the internet yeah, yeah. cool young kids, they call it the web. >> yep. >> jimmy: i don't know if they do that anymore. and you have a good booking on that last show. you won a couple emmy awards
>> i didn't know we won an emmy but -- we have -- >> jimmy: yeah. i might have made that up. >> we had the president of the united states on. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we've had bradley pitt and -- >> jimmy: bradley pitt yeah, yeah, yeah. >> so it's hardly -- i think -- i kinda wanna -- i don't know if i'm going to do any more. they're kind of one note, you know. >> jimmy: no they are not they're great. but -- how can you top getting the president? that's a great get. >> i don't know. like who do you think -- who would you like to have as a a guest on that you haven't had on your show? >> jimmy: i mean, the pope? [ laughter ] you could have the pope on. >> which one? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the new pope yeah. >> the new pope. >> jimmy: yeah absolutely. >> he would be good. >> jimmy: he would be great. what would you ask the pope if the pope came on? >> why all the white? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a good question. yeah, a lot of people are wondering that. >> how about -- queen elizabeth?
i'd love to have the queen on. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, i'd probably play a game or something with her. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what would you ask the queen? >> i would ask her boxers or briefs? >> jimmy: yeah see, that's yeah, that's not going to happen. let's talk about "baskets." again, congratulations on this. >> why do you keep saying congratulations? >> jimmy: i don't know why. i just -- i'm happy for you and -- it's weird, even when you walked out, it sounded like i was giving you an award or something. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but i don't know why. i just felt like i haven't seen you in a while and i'm happy for you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i'm proud of you. >> congratulations on your tv show. >> jimmy: thank you. [ laughter ] no one ever says that. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> congratulations. >> jimmy: that's what i was trying to do the whole time. just pay me a compliment, zach! that's all i wanted! "baskets." >> "baskets." >> jimmy: let's talk about it. >> okay. >> jimmy: it's on fx? >> it is. >> jimmy: this is a show louis c.k. is creator of the show with you. c.k. calls you up and says, "zach, i want to do this show."
"are you interested in writing a tv show?" and i said, "f-you, c.k." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'm just kidding. >> jimmy: i'm sure. >> he called me. so we just -- we started chatting about -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's so good. >> chatting about the show. and it's about a bitter rodeo clown who studied clown theory in paris. >> jimmy: yeah. but he has to come home and work for a rodeo. >> yeah, he works as a rodeo clown in bakersfield, so he's kind of an angry guy. >> jimmy: but you play two characters. you play the twin brothers named chip and dale. [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: i'm sorry, dale and chip. >> i was hoping nobody picked up on that. [ laughter ] you ruined it. >> jimmy: no one has said that at all. dale and chip. >> you're the first person to bring that up. i've done 100 dumb interviews >> jimmy: yeah, yeah.
>> no one. congratulations again. [ laughter ] congratulations. >> jimmy: thank you. thank you. oh my goodness. thank you so much. thank you. >> i would like to congratulate show business in general. >> jimmy: let's give it up for show business. please. [ cheers and applause ] dale and chip -- chip is the character -- you base this off of -- this is a character you've done in the past. it's a very funny, very physical comedy, this show, "baskets." >> yeah. this show is kind of a a throwback of kind of the physical comedy -- >> jimmy: you're great at pratfalls. i never knew you were that great at it. >> well, when you don't have a a lot of talent you become good at pratfalls. >> jimmy: that's not true. >> it's fun to do the physical comedy and sometimes i play these two characters, twin brothers, and they kind of don't get along but they look alike and they hate each other
guys. if you haven't seen it, watch it. you'll enjoy it. i have a clip. here's zach galifianakis playing twin brothers chip and dale. [ laughter ] in his new fx series, and i'm so happy for him, congratulations, "baskets." >> congratulations. thank you. >> jimmy: take a look at this. congratulations. >> hello? >> put mother on, please. >> yeah, right. just put her on. >> dale, i don't know where she is. i'm busy. i'm eating a steak. i got to go. >> bull crap you're eating a a steak. you can't even afford a steak. listen, we got a lead on an antique hutch out in shafter. i need her to look after the girls. >> dale, just ask chip to do it. >> what? >> nicole said i should ask you to watch after the girls. i might as well just stick them in the refrigerator. >> i am a grown man. i can watch the kids. >> okay, what would you do in the case of an emergency then? >> i would call you. >> we're going to be knee deep in hutches. you ain't going to call us. >> dale, give me the phone. hi, chip.
up from school and make sure they get dinner. >> you're signing their death warrants by having him do this. >> jimmy: come on, our thanks to zach galifianakis. "baskets" airs thursdays at 10:00 p.m. on fx. zach and i are playing "true confessions" with a a special guest after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] what happens when lobster gets grilled, baked, and paired with even more lobster? you get hungry. and you count the seconds until red lobster's lobsterfest is back with the largest variety of lobster dishes of the year. like new dueling lobster tails with one tail stuffed with crab, and the other with langostino lobster mac-and-cheese, it's a party on a plate! and you know every bite of 'lobster lover's dream' lives up to its name. hey, eating is believing.
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now we're going to need another player to fill out this table, and we've got a good one. he's the host of "real time with bill maher," which airs fridays at 10:00 p.m. on hbo. please welcome bill maher! [ cheers and applause ] >> okay. thank you very much everyone. >> jimmy: thank you for joining us! bill maher! >> sure, sure, sure. great to see you. >> jimmy: good to see you. >> congratulations on your -- [ bleep ] joke, it was fantastic. >> jimmy: thank you. in front of each of us are two envelopes or envelopes containing confessions, or confeciones. [ light laughter ] one of the envelopes is something that actually happened to us in real life. in the second envelope is a a lie. once you read the confession, the two other players have 60 seconds to interrogate you. then they each have to guess whether you have been lying or telling the truth. you get one turn each, let's get started. zach, you'll go first. >> zach: okay. >> jimmy: bill, which envelope should zach open?
>> jimmy: obviously, two, yeah. oh, you nervous? >> zach: i'm a little nervous, yeah. i dragged him -- >> jimmy: no, no, that's okay. >> zach: can i have a drag of this? >> jimmy: that's a special effect. >> zach: oh, sorry. >> jimmy: to make it look like -- [ laughter ] >> zach: bill thought it was something else and got very excited. >> zach and i are -- we are very familiar with this picture. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, welcome to california, yeah. >> it got the roach clip right on it, there. >> jimmy: fantastic. [ cheers ] [ light laughter ] >> zach: very disappointing, very disappointing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, here we go. >> zach: really? ready? ready? in college, i once shared a a coke with mary j. blige at a a public access television station. [ light laughter ] >> what -- now we can go? >> jimmy: yeah. go. >> what year was this? >> zach: i just finished -- yeah.
'91. around '91. >> jimmy: what college did you go to? >> zach: north carolina state university, home of the fighting wolf pack. [ cheers ] >> you're shaking. >> zach: yeah. >> but where was mary j. blige in her career in 1991? i don't recall her being on the scene then. >> zach: i don't think she was known. i think her aunt worked at the public access station. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what did you guys do together? >> zach: we shared a coke. i already told you. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i know, but why would you share a coke together? >> zach: i was poor at the time. she had a coke. >> jimmy: no, no, i mean, why would you be in the same room? >> zach: i think she was visiting her aunt and -- >> jimmy: and what were you doing? i had a -- hold on. [ laughter ] i had -- i had a coke. [ buzzer ] time. >> zach: i don't know, i mean. >> that's really -- >> jimmy: unless he's acting. >> zach: i was teaching a a waltzing class at the public access station. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you were teaching a
>> zach: yeah. >> he's the worst liar since ted cruz. [ light laughter ] do a little donald trump. >> jimmy: i don't know, man, but maybe he's, maybe he's doing this to take us out, he's purposely doing this. >> yeah, right. >> jimmy: teaching a waltzing class, took a little bit. >> oh. >> jimmy: but that was past the time limit so that could easily be a lie. i don't know. i'm going to say not true. bill? >> yeah. i'm going to go with that, not true. zach? >> zach: i'm going to say it's true. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know you're going to say it, but -- is it true? >> it is true. >> jimmy: it is true! [ cheers and applause ] p you know how to waltz? >> zach: what? >> jimmy: do you know how to waltz? >> zach: that's not the point of the story. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no, i know. >> zach: it's about mary j. blige. >> look the at the way you hooked us in on that. >> jimmy: i know. >> he is a good liar. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. what envelope should i open, one or two? zach? >> zach: number one seems to be popular. one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: two people yelled out
popular, i don't know. i used to think pretzels were cigarettes. [ laughter ] >> is this post college, jimmy? >> jimmy: uh, uh -- no, i was probably around 10 years old. >> okay. >> jimmy: yeah, and like, yeah. >> zach: did you attempt to light the pretzel? [ light laughter ] did you ever try to light the pretzel? yeah, you did. >> it might explain something about this. >> jimmy: yeah, my parents smoked. >> zach: were they straight pretzels or like the curly kind of pretzels? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they were pretzel sticks. >> zach: pretzel sticks. >> jimmy: yeah. pretzel sticks. >> zach: what size pretzel sticks? they come in different sizes. >> and when you say you thought they were cigarettes or you were pretending like a kid does with candy cigarettes?
>> jimmy: no, i was pretending. yeah, i thought my parents smoked -- >> pretending. >> jimmy: and i was pretending that i smoked a pretzel. >> so this is not even a story. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> this is nothing. this is nothing. [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: so, what do you guys think? >> i think that's true. why not? >> zach: i don't think it's true because he didn't seem prepared for a lot of the answers. [ laughter ] whereas when i told my story i knew exactly -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's not true. you said did a waltzing -- you taught a waltzing class. >> zach: it took me a minute to remember what i was doing. nobody lights pretzels up and then has a talk show and talks about it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sadly, they do now. it did happen. i lit up a pretzel, and, yeah, i just thought i was -- i thought everything worked like that. i thought -- so, yeah, anyway. sadly true. >> i'm all for it, too. [ bleep ] me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no, it's not how i do the show. [ laughter ] hey, you can't say that. don't bring that in here!
>> jimmy: he spelled it. >> zach: oh he spelled it. you're allowed spell it, you can't say it. [ laughter ] let's take that again. >> we'll take that again. >> jimmy: you know the rules. you can spell it. so i'm going to say, i'm going to say go for number two. >> go for number two. all right. >> jimmy: go for number two, yeah, i wanna know this story. >> i once tried to ask a girl out and she wound up mistakenly thinking i was deaf so i went with it. [ laughter ] >> zach: was it on the phone? >> no. >> jimmy: on the phone, yeah, that would have been a a giveaway. >> that was a good question. no, it was in high school. >> jimmy: and why did she think -- >> well, here's the thing. when i was -- not high school, maybe when i was 12. i saw this movie on tv called "where the boys are." do you remember this? >> jimmy: no. >> it was the original movie about kids going on spring break. >> jimmy: oh yeah, i do remember this, yeah.
where george hamilton sits down next to a girl on the beach, doesn't say a word, just draws a question mark in the sand and the girl tells him her name and he wipes it out. he draws another question mark, and she tells him where she went to school. draws it again, she gives him all her information and never says a word. and i thought this is the coolest thing. so there was this girl that didn't know i existed. [ light laughter ] i wanted to do this, but we're not at the beach. there was no sand. so i went up to her at the locker with a question mark -- [ buzzer ] --and drew it on a piece of paper. >> jimmy: piece of paper, yeah. >> and she thought i was deaf. >> jimmy: yeah. >> zach: wow. i mean, i know, because it's almost -- >> jimmy: almost too prepared. >> zach: yes. really prepared. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] it's overly prepared. >> zach: yeah, too prepared. >> jimmy: but i kind of see -- i think you're like a hopeless romantic. i could see you doing this. >> zach: i say it's true. >> jimmy: i say it's true. >> [ bleep ] it's true. [ laughter and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: with 12 consecutive undefeated fights to her name, our next guest was the first ufc women's bantamweight champion of the world. she just scored the cover of the brand-new "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue. born in riverside county, right here in the great state of california, please welcome
>> jimmy: wow, great to see you. >> good to see you too. >> jimmy: thank you so much for coming on the show. i appreciate that. and i don't want to say it, but i have to say it, congratulations on getting the cover of the swimsuit issue. this is -- this is huge. this is a big deal. and i also should say the swimsuit you're wearing is not a swimsuit. >> no. >> jimmy: you're, you're, you're naked. >> i'm butt naked. >> jimmy: yeah. this is paint. someone painted you? >> yeah. joanne gair who does, she's world famous for that. actually that famous demi moore picture of her like, in the suit. >> jimmy: oh yeah. >> she did that. and that, i think, that was her most meticulous piece she's ever done. >> jimmy: did you know this was happening when you were about to model. did you go -- >> yeah. they didn't surprise me with it. >> jimmy: i don't know how it works. no one asks me to model swimsuits, and he goes, "jimmy, we're doing this one naked, buddy." and i go, no. >> i didn't walk in to expecting to see bikinis and saw buckets of paint.
>> jimmy: you knew what you were getting into. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how long did this process take? >> 14 hours, both times. i had to do it twice. and then fly all night the night before. >> jimmy: oh, geez. >> that's how i look like when i don't sleep for two days. >> jimmy: not too shabby. congratulations. [ light laughter ] yeah. you look great. here's your other, this is your other suit, i should say, as well. >> you know how hard it is to look that comfortable? >> jimmy: seriously. well done, pal. >> thanks. >> jimmy: i haven't seen you since you were on the show last. this is right before you went up to fight holly holm. am i saying her name right? >> it doesn't matter. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i hate to bring it up but is there going to be a a rematch? >> of course. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: scheduled rematch. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but there's like a a rule, like you're not allowed to fight anyone right now, right? >> i mean, i promised that i would film "roadhouse" after the last movie, i mean, after the last fight and so -- >> jimmy: you're filming "roadhouse"?
that's it. my word means something and i'm going to film "roadhouse" first, and then -- >> jimmy: re-doing the film "roadhouse," patrick swayze, classic? >> the swayze. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you patrick swayze? >> i'm the swayze. >> jimmy: you're patrick swayze in "road house"? that's the best idea i've ever heard, ever. that's fantastic. >> well, no man could ever be the swayze like he does. so you have to completely re-imagine it in order to redo it. >> jimmy: how great. are you shooting that right now? >> hopefully we'll start like, around may. we'll see. >> jimmy: oh man, that's gonna be fantastic. i got to say also, there's a a marine that asked you -- i guess people do this now. they asked you on twitter was it? or how did they ask you? >> i think it was a youtube video or something that he put out. >> jimmy: and he wanted you to go with and be his date for the >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you said yes. and then the fight happened. and it wasn't great. and people were going, well, maybe ronda, she can't do it, and people just like -- but, you actually did show up and you went to -- here's the picture of you and lance
[ cheers and applause ] that was nice of you to do that. >> yeah. it was awesome, he was a real sweetheart. >> jimmy: was it fun. >> actually it really was. and that was like, i think, the first time i smiled at all, like since, and it was good to get off the couch and not just be, like, crying, eating ice cream all day. [ light laughter ] yeah, we went to the ball and then we went to hooters. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: as one does. argument about myself. it was great. so this one, this one hooter's chick comes up to me and she was, like, oh, yeah, we have fights here all the time. she was, like, we love watching ronda rousey fights. and i was, like, oh, i hate her. she's the worst. she's such a bitch. i can't stand her. [ light laughter ] she got really offended. she was, like, no, she's awesome, okay? and we make lots of money in tips when she fights. and she went into this whole big argument about me, with me. and i was like -- >> jimmy: yeah. you're saving [ inaudible ] the hooters, the whole idea of the business model. that's fantastic. did you eventually let her off the hook?
she thought it was hilarious. wings. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the way to do it. we're rooting for you, pal. best of luck with the movie. ronda rousey, everybody, right here on the cover of the "sports illustrated" swimsuit. [ cheers and applause ] don't go anywhere. we have pitbull with robin thicke, joe perry and travis barker right after the break. it's going to be great! ronda rousey, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] so my kids don't have to forage, got two jobs to pay a mortgage, and i've also got a brain. life's short, talk is cheap. i'll be working while you sleep. still don't think i've got a brain? you think a resume's enough? who'll step up when things get tough? don't you want that kind of brain? a degree is a degree. you're gonna want someone like me.
folks, you can't make this stuff up. four bandits chose a prius as their getaway car. bravo-niner, in pursuit of a toyota prius. over. how hard is it to catch a prius? over. this thing is actually pretty fast. over. very funny. oh look, a farmer's market. we should get some flowers for the car. yeah! holly! toyota. let's go places. can you say i love it? oh love it? can you say hey? hey! that's the spirit! oooooh. ooh ooh wooh ooh sing sing, baby baby i love you. oh yes. ooooh oooh. every little thing. hey there, tiny... what beer we drinkin'? i don't know boss... what about that redd's apple ale? you're a genius, tiny! this apple sauce is the bee's knees. the cat's pajamas! hits ya right in the kisser! emm.
also in strawberry and green apple. sfx: cell phone vibrates. yeah? (sigh) you're okay... he's okay, he made it! jason.. what do you mean? we were very bad boys. alexa what's in the news? alexa: here's the news, "alecbaldwin and jason schwartzman were seen mooning paparazzi.baldwin threw his shoe at photographers before making arun for it". my poor cashmere socks... alexa, will you order another pair of brescianis. reordering bresciani socks. okay listen... can you send some lawyers or something? (moaning) ...alec?
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guys, what's that? oh, man. toyota. let's go places. [ screaming ] [ tires screech ] ahhhhh!!! [ horn honking ] [ panting ] i focused on being prepared. [ gasp ] i saved your life by bringing you here. i knew this day would come. [ alarm sounding ] it's not safe out there. [ scream ] [ gasp ] something's coming.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our musical guest tonight has a lot to celebrate, having won his first grammy award last night. congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] and announcing a las vegas residency next month. performing his new single, "bad man," featuring robin thicke, joe perry, and travis barker! give it up for pitbull! [ cheers and applause ] >> travis barker, joe perry, robin thicke! this is history in the making.
ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh say it with me ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a whoo ooh say it with me ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a say it with me ooh-a ooh-a whoo ooh they say he don't rap no more they say like lebron he don't got the heat no more they say he ain't street no more but like jay say how sick am i wish him health for sure but i'm cool with it act a fool with it went to one of my old neighborhoods and built a school in it it's crazy baby the way the '80s made me i thank god every day that music saved me i thank my mom for all the vision she gave me i thank miami for the way it raised me i'm a bad man in an evil world and you're my type of goody two shoe girl i'm a mad man in a woman's world come on over give me what i deserve >> put your hands in the air let's go! you ready for love come and get it girl ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh
get up out your seats get up our your seats so bad, baby so bad, baby i'm so bad let's go building a billion dollar business from an ounce not bad for a cuban that came from the south mami let's make like your bitties and bounce or we can make like a baby and head out i'm cool with it act a fool with it made my own playbook i got no rules in it i like the girls that's freaky wild yeah and crazy i like the girls that dirty dance i'm swayze i like the girls that hot fiery and blazing i like the girls that like the sex amazing i'm a bad man in an evil world that's right and you're my type of goodie two shoe girl baby i'm a bad man in a woman's world come on over give me what i deserve are you ready for love come and get it girl ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh that's all right come and get it girl
ooh-a ooh-a ooh he's so bad, baby we so bad, baby >> joe, break it down. i'm a bad man i know how to move in a room full of baby, i'm a bad man but i'm a good man good guy but don't get it confused baby i'm a bad man and i still fight everyday like i got nothing to lose that's right i'm a bad man in an evil world and you're my type of goodie two shoe girl baby, i'm a bad man in a woman's world come on over give me what i deserve are you ready for love come and get it girl ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh-a ooh
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to zach galifianakis, bill maher, ronda rousey, the "fuller house" cast! [ cheers and applause ] pitbull, robin thicke, joe perry, travis barker! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania, ladies and gentlemen. stay tuned for "late night with seth myers." thank you for watching. have a great night.
music from eleanor friedberger. featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night!" how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the grammys were held last night and included a performance from the hollywood vampires, consisting of alice cooper, joe perry and johnny depp. and while they might not look like your average rock band they definitely sounded like an average rock band. [ laughter ] marco rubio is being criticized for opening his new campaign ad with the slogan "it's morning again in america," but showing stock footage images of vancouver, canada. [ laughter ] of course, he's not the only candidate forcing people to take a closer look at canada. [ laughter ] several political experts --