tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC September 13, 2016 10:34pm-11:37pm CDT
and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 532! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! thank you very much! welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. [ cheers and applause ] you're here. this is the show. got a great show for you tonight. but first, here's what people
premier of "dancing with the stars" and at one point, two protesters rushed the stage as olympic ryan lochte got his scores. security stopped them within about ten seconds. or as lochte put it, "they kidnapped me, put a gun to my head and dropped me off at the grand canyon." [ laughter and applause ] of course the big story in politics continues to be hillary clinton's recovery from pneumonia, and yesterday, hillary tweeted to her supporters that like anyone she's just anxious to get back out there. [ light laughter ] and those people said, "no, we're pretty happy just staying home and watching netflix. [ laughter and applause ] we don't want to get back out there." meanwhile, sources say that hillary has a tendency to get dehydrated, and her aides have a hard time getting her to drink more water. or as the trump campaign put it, "hillary has a drinking
sad!" everyone just wants hillary to rest and get better. in fact, yesterday, joe biden told some of hillary's campaign workers that he's also had pneumonia before, and that if the doctor tells you to take three days off, you should actually take six days off. [ light laughter ] of course, that advice only really works if your job is vice president. [ laughter and applause ] because six days off of work -- yesterday, joe biden tried to defend hillary clinton by noting that he had pneumonia before, too. and several other clinton supporters did the same, revealing what medical problems they've dealt with. for instance, president obama said, "one time i had a stomach bug that sidelined me for almost a week." and bernie sanders said, "i've had my fair share of health issues that kept me out of the game. i've had consumption, scarlet fever, smallpox, gout -- i could go on." [ cheers and applause ] next senator harry reid said, "i once fell off a treadmill. it took a few days to recover." [ light laughter ] and bernie sanders again said,
about my bout with croup, lockjaw, trench foot. something they call prairie shakes. i mean, you name it, i've had it." [ laughter ] hillary's running mate -- [ cheers and applause ] hillary's running mate tim kaine said, "my doc put me on bed rest one time when i pulled a muscle in my back." and finally bernie sanders got back up and said, "i've also had tent fever, i had the old mole, loose neck. remember bubonic plague? i started the bubonic plague and only the top 1% of the world's population survived. the top 1% always survives! they always do, the top 1%!" [ cheers and applause ] guys, fashion week is still going on here in new york city, and the carnegie deli just debuted a special sandwich that will be free for any fashion model that can finish the whole thing. [ laughter ] we actually have a picture of the sandwich. take a look. [ laughter ] no one -- they haven't found a a model -- they haven't found a model yet that can finish the whole
a spokesman for the royal family said that prince william and kate middleton's upcoming family trip to canada will be a a largely casual and highly outdoors event. then normal people said, "so, camping? [ laughter ] you're going camping?" [ british accent ] very casual, highly outdoors. i don't know what to think about this, but a man in norway -- did you see this, higgins? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: a man in norway recently wrote on ikea's faceboag privates stuck in a small hole in the plastic chair he uses in the shower. [ laughter ] ikea said that they would take his complaints very seriously, and he said, "oh, i'm not complaining." [ laughter and applause ] just wanted to let you know. i did it. ?? >> steve: small hole. >> jimmy: all right. [ light laughter ] finally, i saw that rob kardashian's fiance, blac chyna, posted a photo of her sonogram yesterday on instagram. you can tell the baby is a
itself. it's like -- [ camera click ] there you go. we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ? danke schoen darling danke schoen i wanna thank you for walks down lover's lane ? ? i can see hearts carved on a tree letters intertwined for all time ? ? yours andin that was fine danke schoen ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. that is entertainment legend, wayne newton sitting in with the roots tonight. [ cheers and applause ] wayne! wayne newton, come on! oh, i'm so happy. you guys, you can catch him in his new original show, "wayne newton: up close and personal" at bally's las vegas. i am honored to have you on the show. thank you so much for being here. >> it's a great thrill to be
came from my annual music lesson from this incredible band. >> jimmy: oh, they're unbelievable, right? i mean, the roots. [ cheers and applause ] they know how to do it. you know, i was looking at -- we were looking at some stats today and looking up things about you. you played 30,000 shows in las vegas? >> yes, as a matter of fact, i just wouldn't leave. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the trick. yeah. they love you there and they love you here as well. welcome, and thank you very much again. [ cheers and applause ] wayne newton. hon, guys, we have a big week of shows ahead. tomorrow night, the very funny kevin james will be here. >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's the best. and we're going to play a game of "slapjack," which is very interesting. do you remember the last time he was here, he broke a bottle over my head? >> steve: yes. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i knew it was fake glass -- >> steve: fake glass, but it still hurt. >> jimmy: he really broke it over my face, yeah. >> steve: now's your chance to get even. >> jimmy: no, i'm okay.
presidential nominee donald trump will be dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] following his appearance, on monday night, democratic presidential nominee, hillary clinton will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] how exciting is that? then on friday, miley cyrus will be here. >> steve: whoa! >> jimmy: we have a ton of fun stuff planned with her. you don't want to miss it. but first, she is such a a talented actress. from the new oliver stone movie, "snowden", shailene woodley is on the show tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's p plus, you can't get better. she's a comedy legend. she's the author of the new book, "in such good company." the one and only carol burnett is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: amazing book, amazing stories. she's so funny. later in the show, carol and i are going head to head in a a game called "the whisper challenge." very fun. plus, we have music from country music superstar, jason aldean.
come on. he's a stud, he's a stud. hey, guys, it is time to take a a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. ? pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ? >> jimmy: tonight, we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of the trump-putin bromance. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: they've been praising each other in the news lately. apparently they like each other. so let's take a look at the pros and cons of the here we go. pro -- putin has the green light to contact trump at all hours of the night. con -- or as he calls it, a "put-y call." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: he calls it that. >> steve: that's what he calls it? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: trump or putin? >> jimmy: i don't know. [ light laughter ] pro -- hanging out in putin's man cave. con -- finding out it's an actual cave filled with men. [ laughter and applause ] it's like, don't get involved with that. it's scary. pro --
serious issues. con -- like whether to call themselves vladonna or vlump. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: vlump? >> jimmy: i like vlump. >> steve: yeah, vlump. >> jimmy: vlump. pro -- putin giving donald his favorite horse as a gift. con -- two days later, hearing donald announce trump steaks is back in business. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: coincidence. coincidence. >> jimmy: that's not good. pro -- they can watch tv and talk about hillary clinton. con -- or as putin calls that, "netflix and hil [ applause ] pro -- donald trump says he wants to see the kremlin. con -- but he's afraid of getting it wet or feeding it after midnight. no, that's -- [ light laughter ] that's gremlins. >> steve: that's gremlins. yeah. [ gremlin noise ] [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: did you just do an impression of a gremlin? >> steve: yeah. [ gremlin noise ] that's gizmo, man. >> jimmy: yeah. that's gizmo, man. >> steve: yeah, man. i love, gizmo, man. >> jimmy: #gizmoman.
[ light laughter ] >> jimmy: pro -- putin sends political prisoners to a place where no one can find them. con -- it's the same place trump sends his tax returns. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: whatever works. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, pro -- hearing trump tell putin, "oh my god, you're the best." con -- hearing putin tell trump, "ermagehrd, your the borscht." [ laughter and applause ] there you go. that is the "pros and cons", everybody. we will be right back with shailene woodley! [ cheers and applause ] ?? this is the story of how mr. bonejangles met his match. mr. bonejangles was always looking for something. but he never found it. until one day... seven in dog time... exactly what he didn't know he was looking for fell right in his lap. was he expecting the perfect toy at an amazing price?
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! see see rider. that was fantastic. oh, i love that. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that's the jam right there. is that the one -- is that the -- is that your closer? >> that's what i open with. >> jimmy: that's your opener? oh, my gosh. come on. that's unbelievable. if you open with that then that must be some awesome show. guys, our first guest is a a golden globe award nominated
which opens in theaters this friday. please welcome the very lovely shailene woodley, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. >> hi. >> jimmy: welcome. >> i'm so happy to be here. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. i love having you here. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. thank you for coming back to the show. i want to talk about "snowden." we want to talk about the movie, but i want to talk about your summer, because you've had a really interesting summer. >> i've had such a big summer. it's been a big summer. >> jimmy: it really has, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, just life changing. >> yeah, it has been life changing. i've met a lot of people. i've seen a lot of things. i actually, i spent the last two and a half months in an rv, which was kind of radical, living in an rv, which i've never done before. >> jimmy: i want to talk to you about this because i'm very --
maybe. [ laughter ] maybe like a life change, just living in an rv. i might. but no, i am interested. that or an airstream. but this is an rv right here. >> no, this is like a proper -- okay, so basically, we started this caravan across the country, the dnc, got 500 people to join it was rally groovy but i was like, hey mom, can i borrow our 17-year-old motor home for a week to do this adventure? and she was like, yeah, of course. that week turned into a two and a half month road trip of sorts. we still have her rv actually. we haven't given it back. look driving. [ light laughter ] the peace train right there, yeah. >> it rained a little and got -- the peace train part kind of got a little droopy. >> jimmy: how many people were in the rv? how many people can you fit in an rv? how big is the rv? >> well, i mean, you can fit shoulder to shoulder if you wanted to. comfortably how man people can you fit? >> jimmy: like a clown car? 400 people, we fit. >> i think at most we had maybe, nine people or ten people in at once. at minimum, there was always four of us. but you get to know someone really well when you're living
>> jimmy: you really do, yeah. >> and no showers. i mean, it's a little complicated. >> jimmy: where do you go to the camp sites, 'cause really, i'm really interested in this. >> no, you can literally go anywhere in an rv. so i grew up camping in an rv so i was very comfortable with it, but a lot of my friends who i was with at the start, if i were on night shift and they woke up at say 3:00 a.m. when i parked somewhere, and they're like where are we and i'm like, oh, we're just on the side of the road. what do you mean wear we're on the side of the road? like, oh, just look out the window. and you can just find like a a dirt patch on the sif you can sleep there. you can sleep in a walmart parking lot. we slept in union station in d.c. >> jimmy: a walmart parking lot? like just park at a walmart? >> yes, you can park at a a walmart. >> jimmy: really? >> truck stops. yeah, the whole she-bang. >> jimmy: is that legal? does walmart let you do that? >> well, i mean like, i've never asked. hey, walmart, can i park? [ light laughter ] is that okay? >> jimmy: do you see other rvs when you go there? >> oh, yeah. every walmart will generally have an rv or a cargo van in its parking lot at night. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's fascinating. i was doing shows in different colleges around the country, so
but new york city -- >> is it? >> jimmy: i love all that stuff, k-mart, walmart, any mart. yeah, i'm in. [ laughter ] i'm fascinated by those giant stores. >> they're giant. they are giant. so are their parking lots. >> jimmy: these kids after this college thing, i go where do you hang out? do you guys go to like, you know, the rat killers, some name of like a bar? they go, we go to walmart. i go, you hang out at walmart? >> wait where is this? >> jimmy: in like the middle of the country somewhere. [ light laughter ] heard this. >> a lot of communities that i have -- because i grew up in l.a. so i didn't know this. a lot of communities, really walmarts are kind of the center of the community. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they depend on walmart for food, for clothing, for everything. like their super store. >> jimmy: and then you can just park there and just hang out. >> i thought costco was big, but walmart is like five costcos in one. >> jimmy: i've never been to a a costco. >> what? >> jimmy: i know. really. >> costco is the best. >> jimmy: i know -- well, calm down. [ laughter ] i don't know if i would want --
would i want to go to a costco? >> because you can get everything super sized and it will last so much longer and it's so much cheaper. >> jimmy: i don't want too much of anything. >> okay, that's fair. [ laughter ] i'm a minimalist, so -- >> jimmy: my mom and dad, i think they went to a costco once, and it was like they were preparing for the end of the world. i was like -- we had so many paper towels that it was almost like a corn maze for my house to get through. i go, this is too many paper towels. it was just stacked. >> but you save so much money. i guess i'm all about -- and they treat their employees really well. i just think costco is a cool company. >> jimmy: alright, i'll have to check it out. get there but i think my mom got a giant thing of ketchup. >> they have giant things of ketchup. >> jimmy: and i go, are we starting a carnival? what's going on? why would we -- between you and dad -- >> did you start a carnival? >> jimmy: we started a a carnival, yeah. >> how was it? >> jimmy: my dad is p.t. barnum. [ laughter ] um, very famous. we did -- made a lot of money. what a life i've had. >> it all makes sense. >> jimmy: it all makes sense now, yeah. and i'm a clown. yeah. we currently drive around in an rv, me and my family, there's 500 people in my family.
oliver stone, i'm interested in him as well. but did this story just interest you, and you go, you play snowden's girlfriend. >> yeah, so snowden had been with lindsay, the character that i play for a decade when he decided to do what he did a a few years ago, but very few of us know the story of their relationship and in fact know anything about edward snowden as a human. we all know the narrative that we heard or read through journalism when his story broke out a few years ago, but we don't know snowden's narrative and this movie really explores that in an unbiased way. >> jimmy: and did you this -- his girlfriend -- did you meet her in real life? >> i did. i met her three months after we commenced production. which was so -- she came to set one day while we were filming and i was like, oh, i hope she doesn't watch me pretending to be her pretending to be this other character. it was really intimidating. >> jimmy: yeah, because, well, did you like study video or what or how would you imitate her? >> she had old social media posts that i sort of stalked kind of. she was -- she is a a self-portrait photographer so i saw her photography and the
photos, but it's kind of hard to base a character, like a a grounded character, yeah, on a two dimensional sort of cyber screen and on social media, you can be anyone you want to be. but oliver stone had met with her, so the character that's in the movie is sort of based around his observations and convsa >> jimmy: and how was oliver stone? he came on the show once and was really interesting. >> yeah, he's so interesting. the thing with oliver, i was so quiet on this movie set in comparison to other film sets because i just wanted to learn so much. his brain works in an unprecedented way of most of us have to think out, like propel ourselves to think outside the box. oliver stone's brain just naturally thinks outside of the box and he's constantly looking at things from novel perspectives and it was just a a really fascinating intellectual experience. >> jimmy: yeah, it was a very fascinating movie. i want to show a clip here. here's shailene woodley and joseph gordon-levitt, who is also great, in "snowden." take a look at this. >> a lot of people are depending on me.
>> yes. >> no. this is bull. we didn't come to hawaii for you to heal, did we? there's never going to be a a less stressful job out here. >> look, i feel like i'm made to do this, and if i don't do it, then i don't know anybody else that can. a trajectory that i can't turn back from. >> you can always turn back. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: shailene woodley, everybody. "snowden" hits theaters this friday. we will be right back with carol burnett. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
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laughter, mayhem, and fun in the sand box," in stores now. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome carol burnett. [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? carol. carol burnett, welcome back to the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much for coming back to the show. >> well, i have -- i have to promise you the two times i was on, i kept throwing stuff in your face. i'm not going to do it tonight. >> jimmy: thank you. alright, good, yeah. thank you. >> i'm going to do this. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: that was the best. see, i'm so lucky. thank you. you, uh, yeah -- uh congrats on everything, and congrats on the book. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i want to talk about, "in such good company." this studio for you has a lot of history. this is your first talk show
it was back in the covered wagon days with jack parr. >> jimmy: that's right. >> and then also when johnny carson was in new york. >> jimmy: that's right >> that was here. yeah. and i was -- i was always very nervous around johnny. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, you know, because when you come out and you sit on that couch, you have to score. >> jimmy: yeah >> you know you got to make a joke, and i -- i'm not a jokester, you know. [ laughter ] i'm not. and so -- and i decided without telling johnny that i would be the world's worst interview. well, so what happened was he -- he would say to me, well, you say to me -- you say to me, say, carol, aren't you very excited about -- to be here in new york, promoting your book? >> jimmy: okay, good, ready? >> go ahead. >> jimmy: carol, are you very excited to be here in new york promoting your book? >> yes.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: would you -- would you? >> and then he would go on again and again and i would go, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you staying a a long time? >> then he caught on. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> and then he, you know, he would go on with this huge, huge question that went on forever. again, maybe. >> jimmy: one-word answers? >> one word answers. >> jimmy: oh, it's so hard. it's difficult like that. b it was fun. >> jimmy: oh yeah, that's a a good bit. >> yeah, it was fun. >> jimmy: there's so many fun stories in this book that i don't even know where to even start, but one thing i was looking at that made me laugh is one of your schedules, typical week of the show of "the carol burnett show" and you have 12:00 -- no, 10:00, costume fittings at bob mackey's workplace. i mean, bob mackey doing costumes -- dancers, 12:00 p.m. to 1:00 p.m., lunch. amc. i was like, amc? was that --
>> jimmy: yeah, that's -- [ laughter ] amc is "all my children." i was like, amc wasn't -- >> "all my children." >> jimmy: your soaps. >> because you couldn't tape it then. you know, so i had -- lunch was surrounded by, you know, i had my sandwich and see what erica kane was up to. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love that. i grew up -- my mom used to watch all the soaps. "ryan hope," "all my children," "general hospital." >> yeah. >> jimmy: we did all the abc sh i mean, it's instant acting that they have to do and they learn 20 pages for the next day. it's amazing. >> jimmy: and it was a giant, giant rating. i mean, the world was watching. luke and laura's wedding -- >> oh, gosh. >> jimmy: was like the cover of magazines. i was like this is a soap opera. >> i know. >> jimmy: it's so fun, but i just love that. you talk about in here, you wanted to always do the show as kind of -- you never wanted to keep the audience waiting. >> that's right. that's right. but -- because i came from live theater, and live television,
would change clothes real fast, change the scenery. i used to make a bet with the stage hands that i could do a a skin out change before they could move that couch over there because i wanted that feel, you know? so, if the microphone might come into the shot or something, don't stop. keep going, you know? and make it feel like a live show. >> jimmy: well, i have a a perfect example of this, and you guys are -- if you haven't seen this clip, you're going to go nuts. it is -- you're doing a sketch >> it's a musical finale and the jackson 5 and we were in a a school room and i'm this kind of strict teacher. yeah. >> jimmy: and i was just going to say what happens, but well, there's an earthquake. >> yeah. a real earthquake -- >> jimmy: a real earthquake. >> while we're doing the number in the studio. >> jimmy: and you just keep rolling along with the sketch and i would be freaking out, like screaming. i would be like, "oh my god, stop the sketch, did anyone feel that?" not you.
michael jackson's face. and watch how fast and how funny carol burnett is during this sketch right here. watch this. >> a-b-c. >> very good. >> you know, fellas, this is -- >> no visiting, no visiting. the earth just moved. [ laughter and applause ] >> you see what can happen when you pay attention? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it. that is exactly how you do it. that's so good. oh, my goodness. michael freezes. michael's, like, i'm not doing the sketch. i'm want to get out of here. oh, i just love it so much. there's that and there's a a million other great stories in this book, "in such good company." it's out now and you're also
>> yeah, friday and saturday night. >> jimmy: friday and saturday night. you go to ticket master. >> or the box office, yes. >> jimmy: it's sold out already, but i think there's a a couple tickets. mel brooks had the same problem. he came on the show and he was like, i booked your show months in advance before we sold tickets. now we're sold out, so i don't really want to do your show, but anyway, it's the same. but if you can get a ticket, go see carol burnett and the audience asks you questions. >> yeah, i never know what they're going to say or ask. i'm flying without a net. done it. >> jimmy: and you're producer suggested that, right? >> yeah, i didn't to do it at first and he said, carol, you've got to get out there in front of the audience before you get into all those characters and let the audience get to know you, and i was terrified and i said, "we're going to tape it?" and i said, "what if nobody asks a question?" or worse, what if somebody did and i didn't have an answer? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, but after about three or four weeks when the show got going, i started to
because it was off the cuff and, you know, i never knew what anybody was going to do. >> jimmy: one of the best parts of the show and so funny and i just loved it. i want to get to know you a a little bit better by playing a game with you. this is a came called "the whisper challenge." >> oh, i don't have to throw anything in your face? >> jimmy: please don't. [ light laughter ] but if you feel like it, you can go ahead and do it. there's no water in there. stick around, carol burnett and i are playing "the whisper challenge" when we get back. [ cheers and applause ] i have to make sure there's no liquid around. man, i'm glad aflac pays cash. aflac! isn't major medical enough? no! who's gonna' help cover the holes in their plans? aflac! like rising co-pays and deductibles... aflac! or help pay the mortgage? or child care? aflaaac! and everyday expenses? aflac! learn about one day pay at aflac.com/boat
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: talented guy, wayne newton. how many instruments do you play? >> how many instruments? >> jimmy: yeah. >> thank you for not asking how well i play them. i play 13 all total. >> jimmy: unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] carol, again, thank you so much for being here. now, you have your new book here, it's called called "in such good company" it's in stores now. i like to play a game. this is called "the whisper
here we go. [ cheers and applause ] now -- >> "the whisper challenge." >> jimmy: now, "the whisper challenge" works like this. i'm trying. one person puts the headphones on with loud music playing, okay? now, the other person then picks up a card and reads the random phrase on the card, okay? person wearing the headphones has to try and guess what they just said. >> by reading your lips? >> jimmy: yeah, by reading my lips. it will be really loud music. >> okay. >> jimmy: okay, good. so you go first, here we go. and then, let me know, it's on. [ laughter ] >> it works. >> jimmy: it worked? okay, good. >> it worked. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we're having an earthquake. alright -- alright, ready? butternut squash. >> do it again. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: butternut squash.
>> jimmy: yes! [ cheers and applause ] fantastic! yes! that's right! >> you were good. >> jimmy: that was good. >> you were good. >> jimmy: fantastic. this is going to work out fan -- this is going to work out fine. you're good at this game. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: you're a good partner. oh. >> okay. >> jimmy: yeah. >> hut, hut, hike. [ laughter ] >> close but no cigar. okay. hut, hut, hike. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: do the first word again. >> hut. >> jimmy: hockey? cut? cot? >> hut. >> jimmy: hot, hot, hot, hot. >> hike. >> jimmy: hockey? >> hike. >> jimmy: hot, hot, hey!
>> jimmy: hot, hot, hey! >> hike, hike. >> jimmy: no, hot, hot. >> hike. hike. hike. >> jimmy: cut >> hike! >> jimmy: cake. [ laughter ] >> hike! >> jimmy: cake. >> hike! >> jimmy: hate it. hate hot, hot, hate. what is it? what could it possibly be? [ applause ] what are you saying? you've lost your mind now. [ cheers ] >> hut, hut, hike. >> jimmy: oh, hut, hut, hike. oh. that's exactly -- you were doing it right. sorry. all right, ready? [ laughter ] me tarzan, you jane. >> do it again. >> jimmy: me tarzan, you jane. >> piss off. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: i never thought that would ever happen in my entire life. me tarzan, you jane. [ laughter ] >> once more, once more. >> jimmy: me tarzan, you jane. >> piss off. i keep getting piss off. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: me. >> me. >> jimmy: tarzan. >> talk? me talk tarzan? >> jimmy: yes! you jane. >> me jane? >> jimmy: yes, yes! that's right! [ cheers and applause ]
[ laughter ] all right. i'm going to do one more. one more. last one here. alright, here we go. [ laughter ] >> zach galifianakis. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you kidding? >> zach galifianakis. >> jimmy: th having a stroke or something? sassafras? sassafras? >> zach. >> jimmy: that. >> close. zach. >> jimmy: thad. >> zach. >> jimmy: thad. >> zach galifianakis. [ laughter ] you know, i have seen his name many times, but i don't know how to pronounce it. >> jimmy: tell me when you're going. are you going? >> now i'm going.
>> zach. >> jimmy: thad. >> galifianakis. >> jimmy: zach galifianakis? [ cheers and applause ] carol burnett, everybody! go friday and saturday nights at the beacon theater right here in new york city. pick up a copy of her latest book "in such good company," which is in stores now. we have music from jason aldean when we come back. come on backer
buy one take one is back at olive garden choose one delicious entr?e at our place and another for yours starting at $12.99 may all your tomorrow's be as delicious as today olive garden there's only two left, you should masterpass that, now. hey dude. i masterpassed it. she sounds cranky. she wants her fruit chews.
nope, it's been masterpassed. what's with this one? i've taken care of the check, it's all masterpassed. masterpassed it. i masterpassed it. that was fast. because i masterpass. well she loves to say, "well, fantastic!" a lot. i do say that, you see... i study psychobiology. i'm a fine arts major. nobody really believes that i take notes this way, but they actually make sense to me. i try to balance my studying with the typical college experience. this windows pc is a life saver! being able to pull up different articles to different parts of the screen is so convenient.
hey! nikki! what are you doing here? you tell me, stephen. what? i'm snapping. you've been streaming my videos all morning. now you're with this thing? no! it's not you! it's verizon! they limit my data. i had to choose. come on, girl. let's get us a man with unlimited data. why pay verizon more for data limits? introducing t-mobile one. one price. unlimited data for everyone. hey, searching for a great used car? i don't want one that's had a big wreck just say, show me cars with no accidents reported find the cars you want, avoid the ones you don't plus you get a free carfax? report with every listing i like it start your used car search at carfax.com [ 80's music ] can i get anyone a beer? make it a redd's apple ale! redd's apple ale.
ary family. they travel a lot. every four years when we got re-stationed you think it's going to be the biggest change in your life but there's always more changes to come. the first thing that we would do when we would get into our new place was set up the beds. and when i go to t.j.maxx i buy good quality things that are going to last a long time. everything i get there, i get at a lower price. shopping at t.j.maxx is always like a bonding experience. discover real value worth sharing. i just think that home, it's wherever your family is. maxx life at t.j.maxx. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guys, check us out tomorrow night. his new show "kevin can wait" premiers monday night on cbs, kevin james will be here. [ cheers and applause ] plus, michael b. jordan, music from bon iver, it's going to be fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] tonight's musical guest is the
year. performing "a little more summertime" off his new album, "they don't know," give it up for jason aldean, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ?? ? they're boarding up this water town ain't nobody hanging 'round was i crazy to think she'd stay ? ? if that sun would've just hung up in that sky just a little bit yeah just a little big longer ? ? if those blue waves could've stayed at her feet on the beach
with the tide ? ? if that wind was a friend it'd still be blowing in like a warm southern whisper on her ? ? she might have stayed forever and never ever left these arms if only i ? ? had a little more summertime ? ? i brace myself against the cold let her memory take hold ? ? stirring that old fire up as if i don't miss her enough ? ? if that sun would've just hung up in that sky just a little bit yeah
? if those blue waves could've stayed at her feet on the beach 'stead of going out with the tide ? ? if that wind was a friend it'd still be blowing in like a warm southern whisper on her ? ? she might have and never ever left these arms if only i ? ? had a little more summertime just a little more summertime ?
? if that sun would've just hung up in that sky just a little bit yeah just a little big longer ? ? she might have stayed forever and never ever left these arms if only i ? ? had a little more summertime ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: always, always buddy, thank you. jason aldean, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] jason aldean! catch him on tour now. we'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ]
?? as life starts moving faster and faster. we need to make a choice. to move faster with it. or to step off every now and then. to marvel at the wonders around us. to take in new sights and sounds. and
to remember just how beautiful life can be. this fall, let's take in a big deep breath of pure michigan.
?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, fantastic! my thanks to shailene woodley, carol burnett, jason aldean, wayne newton, right there! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] hi, roots. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. thank you very, very much. [ cheers and applause ]
[ cheers and applause ] ?? >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- bill hader, tony award-winning playwright sarah jones, music from testpattern. featuring the 8g band with matt garstka. ?? [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. how is everybody doing tonight? [ applause ] that is just wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. donald trump spent today campaigning in iowa, and it was going great until somebody tried to husk him.